E.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. Is a
If only life were as simple as going back to previous events to fix your mistakes, or going to the next page in your life, without having to experience all the pain...
♥♥♥
Have you ever wanted to grab someone by the throat and tell them to;
"S-h-u-t, t-h-e, f-r-u-c-k, up!"
Or cry yourself into nothing but your tears itself and the whole world finally stopped tormenting you? And all the bad stuff went away? Why am I saying this you ask?
Well because I have known for a long time, life sucks a**.
Sixteen is not my best year living, actually, my whole life has been full of c**k-a-bull
happenings, and things that no child should go through.
I dislike the police.
Not all of them, but as of now, I have only met two I really liked, and actually tried helping me out.
The other hundred million I've met are one sided, rude, and don't listen because they only see what they want to see, listening to reason was not part of what they did.
I absolutely can't stand
My dad has left me completely now, and can you believe I was stranded at a friends house for two months and before that, I was house hoping for about two weeks.
Sounds fun? NO. My dad's iTouch was stolen, and he thought I did it, and the worse part is I know who did it, and I even filled out a police report, but that slimy b*****d got away some how! I want to beat his head in with a wooden bat and take what he has!
Just because he did it to my father, and my dad struggles to support two kids, while he is paying child support that my mother dodges, and two other kids he has, not to mention my little brother and I. He may not have been the best father in the world, but to me he is. Past all the verbal and physical abuse, and past all the times he made me cry, and left a scar, and made me feel like dirt, I can't help but love him.
And my mom. (Which I am now un/happily living with)
Note I placed the slash because even though I am happy, I am still depressed.
Why? Because I am Sixteen, out of school, going on five months now, and I can't go back to school because once again, people are holding me back!
(I'm not one to blame my misfortune on others, but it's really her fault)
I have moved from Florida, to California, well back, after 9 years. And now, the lady at my old school won't send me my Transcripts, which the enrollment center said I really need, and why can't they just go into the system and get them?
Hell if I know myself!
Everyday I feel like crying, when I watch those kids out there going to school every morning, and then coming back with their school books and friends, laughing and such.
I want that back, not only to meet new people, but I cherish my education, I love learning, I love the school environment. I love being around different things, surrounded by diversity, it's lively.
So, I am now jobless, I sleep on a couch in a one bedroom apartment when there is four of us, I don't communicate with my other little brother in Florida who I miss so much I look at his profile every day, and even try sending him messages, which I still haven't gotten any reply. I heard from his friend that they were moving, and I pray to God it's somewhere safe, and I can still see them one day. My one year old brother here is so cute, but he's so annoying it drives me off the wall, and I don't want to use him as a replacement for what I've lost.
So, I will end my senseless ranting here, and finally try to get some sleep after restless nights of being sick for the past week or so. Nights filled with tossing and turning, being to hot and to cold, not eating for days at a time again! Life is just frucking fabulous isn't it...
I really don't think life is all bad, shitty at time, more then half the time, but every time I remember something I loved or missed, I think of all the good that's still in the world. And whenever my best friend Mady writes to me from all the way on the other side of the country, just to ask me how I'm doing, I feel so good, I want to cry harder then my poor heart already is, I just don't like showing it. Smile like nothing's wrong, and make someones day a little brighter...
"S-h-u-t, t-h-e, f-r-u-c-k, up!"
Or cry yourself into nothing but your tears itself and the whole world finally stopped tormenting you? And all the bad stuff went away? Why am I saying this you ask?
Well because I have known for a long time, life sucks a**.
Sixteen is not my best year living, actually, my whole life has been full of c**k-a-bull
happenings, and things that no child should go through.
I dislike the police.
Not all of them, but as of now, I have only met two I really liked, and actually tried helping me out.
The other hundred million I've met are one sided, rude, and don't listen because they only see what they want to see, listening to reason was not part of what they did.
I absolutely can't stand
My dad has left me completely now, and can you believe I was stranded at a friends house for two months and before that, I was house hoping for about two weeks.
Sounds fun? NO. My dad's iTouch was stolen, and he thought I did it, and the worse part is I know who did it, and I even filled out a police report, but that slimy b*****d got away some how! I want to beat his head in with a wooden bat and take what he has!
Just because he did it to my father, and my dad struggles to support two kids, while he is paying child support that my mother dodges, and two other kids he has, not to mention my little brother and I. He may not have been the best father in the world, but to me he is. Past all the verbal and physical abuse, and past all the times he made me cry, and left a scar, and made me feel like dirt, I can't help but love him.
And my mom. (Which I am now un/happily living with)
Note I placed the slash because even though I am happy, I am still depressed.
Why? Because I am Sixteen, out of school, going on five months now, and I can't go back to school because once again, people are holding me back!
(I'm not one to blame my misfortune on others, but it's really her fault)
I have moved from Florida, to California, well back, after 9 years. And now, the lady at my old school won't send me my Transcripts, which the enrollment center said I really need, and why can't they just go into the system and get them?
Hell if I know myself!
Everyday I feel like crying, when I watch those kids out there going to school every morning, and then coming back with their school books and friends, laughing and such.
I want that back, not only to meet new people, but I cherish my education, I love learning, I love the school environment. I love being around different things, surrounded by diversity, it's lively.
So, I am now jobless, I sleep on a couch in a one bedroom apartment when there is four of us, I don't communicate with my other little brother in Florida who I miss so much I look at his profile every day, and even try sending him messages, which I still haven't gotten any reply. I heard from his friend that they were moving, and I pray to God it's somewhere safe, and I can still see them one day. My one year old brother here is so cute, but he's so annoying it drives me off the wall, and I don't want to use him as a replacement for what I've lost.
So, I will end my senseless ranting here, and finally try to get some sleep after restless nights of being sick for the past week or so. Nights filled with tossing and turning, being to hot and to cold, not eating for days at a time again! Life is just frucking fabulous isn't it...
I really don't think life is all bad, shitty at time, more then half the time, but every time I remember something I loved or missed, I think of all the good that's still in the world. And whenever my best friend Mady writes to me from all the way on the other side of the country, just to ask me how I'm doing, I feel so good, I want to cry harder then my poor heart already is, I just don't like showing it. Smile like nothing's wrong, and make someones day a little brighter...
♥♥♥
L|it/t|l|e bit Crazed
