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 Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:14 pm
Calmer Posting various things as I meet them. I'm a long way behind, not having found it easy to keep up with something on lj. wink There're a lot of squares I'm seeing. Just high-lighting them where I see them - probably a failure in the Word's version of -s on Gaia. Ack. Yeah, that's wierd. I'll be going through and fixing that tonight. Thanks! Calmer Gendou's entrance, of course, was a pleasant and chilling suprise. I have to say, when Ally reappeared, I couldn't help thinking, "well, you may be telling Gendou he has underestimated you, but in thinking he's forgotten the Second, you're growing arrogant yourself." Not sure whether you intended it, but I liked it. I'm amazed someone caught that. Calmer Mes amies is interesting - usually, it's used for female only company. Seeing as Mory's there, it's definitely not inherently wrong, but I think most frogs would use mes amis for mixed company. Just sayin'. wink Damn. Thought it looked odd. Thanks. Calmer Mory's remorseful climax during the sword practice is wonderfully written. I had a little bit of trouble with that part. I'm glad it turned out well. Calmer Ally "What kind of magic is this?" Weston asked, wide-eyed. "Sony," responded LeMoru, dryly. "Can I continue?" PlayStation magic? Sonny is the usual, if she's referring to him as her son, and not describing the magic. xp No, she meant Sony. As in it was electronic, not magical. Calmer Definitely a fun read overall. I've highlighted the bits that stood out and/or amused me above, and the writing style and other literary bits and pieces of actual writing are lovely. Looking forward to the next chapter. 3nodding is the kind of comment I really want. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 4:43 pm
 William, Full-Human Formby So MindlessAlso, Chapter Twenty-Four has been posted.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:20 pm
As promised, time for me to comment. I really enjoyed reading what you have so far, it's very fun and imaginative. Writing wise, I feel relaxed while reading, but a couple snags of repetitive statements and wordings kept coming up - like 'million questions racing through her mind' as an example.
Other than that, I'm looking forward to more. 3nodding heart
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Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:49 pm
Chapter Twenty-Five has been posted
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 3:11 pm
Chapter Twenty-Six has been posted.
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Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 12:22 am
I'm looking forward to the Descendant Showdown.
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:45 pm
Chapter Twenty-Seven up.
Is anyone still reading this, besides Gendou and Eter? sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 10:02 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 10:14 am
Alliance, certain aspects of your story remind me of one of my favourite RPs, Exalted, the whole part about foreign conciousnesses, with great powers, from a by gone era, inhabitting your body... you can let the essence take over, gain great power, but become slave to it's hubriss, or you can be yourself, and fight the reincarnating shard. 3nodding
Light =/= Good
Dark =/= Evil
Thank you.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:27 pm
Alright, all caught up! Thank you for the wonderful read heart
My favorite character so far is dead. (Apart from my wonderful self, of course. :preens smile
That always happens. Farewell, LeMoru. Selling yourself and some random humans for the life of the clan. Honorable or not? Tricky, tricky. I think she did the best thing she could think of, and hopefully Gendou lives up to his end of the bargain. Of course translation differences always leave room for horrors. I hope her death wasn't futile.
'See that? Not my hands, no! I didn't touch nuthin.'
I'm liking the whole fight over Mory's body, as well, and am surprised at how swiftly she won. Will the queen have more tricks to pull?
William is funny! Go silver kitsune! Second favorite, right there.
I love how you can integrate humorous episodes between all of the serious, and even teach us about their world in an interesting manner. Bittersweet is probably the best word, since there isn't one for sadfunny.
I'm cute! And an unwitting pawn, yay! I love those. I'm so easily taken in by Gendou. xd Internal struggle is fun, but I think my mother may have had the right idea. These humans are trouble. Thanks, Alliance! Keep writing, I want to read the next chapter.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 3:41 pm
Chapter Twenty-Eight has been posted.
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2005 9:44 pm
For some reason the first page refuses to load all the way for me, so it stops like two thirds of the way through Chapter 27. No biggie, since I can read Chapter 28 in your livejournal and it's probably just a side effect of the recent glitchiness of Gaia anyway. *kicks Gaia servers*
Well well, Gendou's quite good at manipulating the innocent. And Las is about as innocent as one can get. I like how those qualities of the two characters were thrown into relief by how they contrasted. A very classic setup, with Gendou sending her to give Mory and company a message. Is there a veiled threat behind the seemingly done-in-good-faith request..? Though Gendou doesn't really have a reason to harm Las. Not now, anyway. We'll see.
And we see the Phoenix Blade for the first time, and it is one beautiful blade. I love your description of it; it's a great fantasy sword... I wouldn't mind owning a replica. If our heroes survive this new ordeal, I hope they can get the grip repaired, though it's probably not necessary. And talk about a cliffhanger! I especially love Will's quip at the end. whee
I'm looking forward to seeing what Gendou's message is, what Las' fate will be, and how the trio will get out of this sticky situation. heart
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 10:52 am
Chapter Twenty-Nine, finally, after a week-long hiatus.
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:39 pm
Woot! Quote: "What," retorted William, "you think that was a load-bearing sword?" Eheheh. Loved this line. I was wondering who else would be able to create a wall of thorns just like in the battle with Gendou, but to have her really be dead? crying I kept hoping Ally would come back really alive! Oh, the sadness. Lovely chapter! ::fan girls::
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:45 pm
Chapter 18 Illustration"The Kiss"by Kyraa
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