I suppose I'll give this a try.
The Movie of Mourn of Blades1. Opening Credits: "War Machine", Amon Amarth [KISS cover]
(Better watch out, the movie's starting.

)
2. Waking Up: "Never Again", Disturbed
(Right?! Who wants to do this s**t everyday?)
3. First Day At School: "Bloodrocuted", Dethklok
(Make sure you pay attention in biology class, kids! You'll never know when you'll pick up handy tricks, like using your own blood to electrify your enemies to death.)
4. Fight Song: "The Ballad of Resurrection Joe and Rosa Whore", Rob Zombie
(Wait a minute, what kind of fight is this?)
5. Breaking Up: "Black Black Heart", David Usher
(How appropriate. What a b***h.)
6. Happiness: "Yo Ho!", Heather Alexander
(Oh yeah, crack that whip baby. You know how I like it.

)
7. Life's Okay: "Forget", Drowning Pool
(Ignoring your problems: how I've been making life okay for years

[see
Matt's Guide to Not Caring])
8. Mental Breakdown: "Bedlam in Belgium", AC/DC
(What do you mean, 'breakdown'? That sounds like a normal day to me...)
9. Driving: "Breathe No More", Evanescence
(Hmm... You may not want to let me drive that bus, Sarah...

)
10. Flashback: "Driven Under", Seether
(No officer, I swear I didn't even know Janie had a-- *flashes back* ...well that's bloody helpful now!...)
11. Getting Back Together: "Crucified", Soil
(Hey... don't crucify me! There's no getting back together if you do that. Go talk to Resurrection Joe, he might be willing to give you a second chance.)
12. Wedding: "Don't Question My Heart", Saliva
(Seriously, this is kind of a bad time for it...)
13. Birth Of A Child: "Trash", Korn
(Well, this bodes well for my doomspawn.
neutral )
14. Final Battle: "So They Say", Dr. Horrible soundtrack
(Pfft, as if I'll ever have a final battle. ...Well, someday, I suppose, but not soon enough to put in my movie.
... Next up, who's gay?)
15. Victory Scene: "Ja Genau", Megaherz
(Yes, exactly; victory is mine! But no megalomaniacal gloating speech for you. You're about to be eaten by a bear anyway, so...)
16. End Credits: "Black Soul Choir", DevilDriver
(Just perfect. Go listen, and see for yourself.)