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Radioactive Applesauce Vice Captain
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 Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 9:27 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:51 am
Please send a comment to all the past contestants of this thread to come back and send a joke for this month, so they don't miss out on christmas gold. Thanks!
~Mydis
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Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:12 pm
Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."
And again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked the Southern lady, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my God! What on earth for?", asked the first woman.
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who gives a s**t?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?
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Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:35 pm
SICK LEAVE
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "Crazy"
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who is blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so, that the Boss might think I was "Crazy" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out."
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "..And where do you think you're going?!"
She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.
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