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Quicksilver the Archangel
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:51 pm
Krishna automatically raised the apple when Sekani moved, using his greater height to his advantage to dangle the fruit out of the other Yuniko's reach. He had, honestly, had enough of this... fighting? He frowned as he mentally searched for the word he wanted. It was not so much fighting, not at all like the venom-filled spats that had previously characterized their relationship. Now... now there was just this awkwardness, this uncomfortable closeness that, like a string tied too tightly, made any misstep result in an uncomfortable friction.
Partially, he was to blame for developing a closeness, a fondness, that the teal-haired Yuniko before him did not share. Yet, knowing this, Krishna could not stop standing beside him, playing the same verbal games, as though nothing had changed. For him, the string was a familiar, soft velvet, but it was a string never the less, and the friction would just get worse and worse until, finally, the connection severed once and for all. How long would it be... before Sekani saw it too?
The realization that his fingers were becoming sticky from the juice seeping from the bitten fruit made him focus on the task at hand, and he sighed, unable to keep a small, sad smile from rising to his face, "There is no need for you to settle for something blemished when other, better things are available to you. It is not a waste to leave it and take what is fresh, Sekani; someone else will take what is left."
The crunch of him taking a bite accentuated his words as he fell into silence.
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:55 am
Sekani bodily followed the apple upwards in continued protest, quietly knowing that any effort to take something away from the rainbow yuniko that he really did not want one to have was in vain. Height was certainly a factor in that, recalling other failed attempts that were motivated much more lightheartedly. Another was that Krishna simply had better tactical skills. It only lead Sekani to further try and fathom what he was getting to as he took a bite from the apple. The crunch made his ears pin.
"You listen like a brick wall, Krishna," he said frankly, physically recoiling and making no further attempt at either fruit. The way he was being treated these days was... aggravating, and probably a myriad of other wonderful verbs if he could pick them out of the livid haze that was building up. He had been angry before, of course -- no one got this far in life without experiencing it, even the generally casual yuniko -- but this wasn't as clear cut as he felt it should be. Sekani wished he could say he was simply pissed at Krishna and brush it off the next day, in the next hour, perhaps the next moment. "Why do you have to make this out to be such a big deal? You never take 'no' for an answer!" he spat, cutting into the silence.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 7:19 pm
Krishna's eyes narrowed at Sekani's reaction, equal parts irritation and concern overtaking him. Irritation because he never liked denial or any lashing confrontation. Concern because this level of confrontation was unusual for Sekani. The change unsettled him, but he could not stop his own intial comeback, his grip on the apples tightening. "You are a guest; since Quick is preoccupied with your bonded, it is up to me to take care of you. -THAT- is why this is a big deal to me! Why... can you still not understand that?"
He turned away, staring down at the fruit in his hands. Maybe it was the late night, the earlier intimacy, or the emotion he heard in the other Yuniko's always-honest voice, but he was tired. Tired of the friction. Tired of the effort it took to contain himself. Tired... of being anything but open with the being before him. "What do you want from me, Sekani? If you tell me, plainly, I will listen. Even if the answer is no."
The string tightened.
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Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:15 am
This was all too exasperating. Was this becoming another example of Krishna's high and mighty attitude, now striving to be both snubbing and martyring at the same time? Sekani's ears managed to flatten a bit farther as Krishna erected a more literal brick wall by turning away, but he still clearly heard the request. There was no fluff or feather to it, as he had come to recognize when Krishna was less than serious, and he didn't know whether to be grateful for that.
"I want you to realize that I don't need you to take care of me," he said, the smoldering aggression nipping at the edges of his voice just as it was in his mind. Still, at all else, he could very well explain the situation plainly. "I don't need anyone to take care of me." He circled around gradually, wanting to regain face-to-face contact. This isn't just about tonight, either, Sekani realized, not only about an apple. Though that still did bother him. "I know we think differently, but that doesn't mean I'm completely inept." A bit, yes, he admitted to himself, but not completely.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 2:22 am
The Kirin's ears flicked back when he heard the snarl in his companion's normally bubbly tone, and he grit his teeth to prevent himself from lashing out. He had said he would listen; he intended to keep his promise. When it appeared that Yuniko had said his peace, he responded calmly, "Very well. You are correct--you are not inept, though I tease you as such. I marvel at how, even in your quirks, you always act genuinely, as you wish to act, and though there are times where it annoys me, there are other times when I envy you. You don't need anyone to take care of you."
He looked down into Sekani's face, the one he so adored, and he spoke softly, "But I will tell you once more that which I have been trying to control for both of our sakes, and I hope that you will understand me as well. I love you, and that fact determines many of my actions, now. I know you did not ask it of me, but it means that... I want to take care of you, even if you don't need me. This affection I feel makes it to where I cannot be the same as I was before."
Now, with his emotions loosened, he was unable to stop how his words grew more taut, more abrasive as he continued, "I have not changed so much, Sekani, that I can swallow my pride and say this more openly all the time. I can not cater to your whims more than I do now, with any different attitude, without losing myself. I cannot... open myself to your rejection. Not again."
Krishna bit down on his lip to stop himself from saying anything else; he had said too much already. Still looking at the other Yuniko, he held out both apples to him, allowing him to make a choice of what he wanted. To do anything else, after revealing so much... would only cause further tension, wouldn't it?
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:55 am
Sekani remained stalwart in the wake of those dangerous, looming words, holding himself together from some sort of explosion, though barely. The anger that was tainting his mind began to be diluted by other feelings -- too many conflicting for a clear choice. There was guilt for causing this pain in his good friend, and he certainly did at least care for the kirin as such.
He had hoped Krishna's feelings would fade with time of their own accord, everything eventually ebbing back to those simple days of adventure and tet-a-tet. He also knew that was impossible, because it wasn't the kind of yuniko Krishna was. Denial was simpler, until now. There was shame. Somehow it would have been easier if the whole situation had degraded into a yelling fight.
Now, a choice was presented. Once again, Sekani didn't know the answer, except now the had to acknowledge that he wasn't sure what the options represented either. A sigh was the first thing to escape his mouth.
"I... I'm sorry, Krishna. I'm sorry," he said in a voice only strong enough to make a decision about not making one. Placing a hand on each of the apples, he pushed them away with light effort. "I don't want you to feel like this. If you want to continue as we have been, though... I won't mind that and I won't question it again." The choice was volleyed away, because denial was simpler.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:54 pm
Krishna did not know what to say.
It was not common for the Kirin to be rendered speechless, but whenever it occurred, it grated against his nerves like a comb scraping his scales. As long as he could speak, he could retaliate, react, reconstruct, but when forced into silence, he had no defense. Exposed. Bare. Raw. All of his pride and confidence proved useless when he had no means to express them, and so he stood there staring at the apples that Sekani had pushed back towards him. What did he do now? Where did he go from here?
A surge of anger and frustration made him tighten his grip on the fruit. Hadn't Sekani been listening? Hadn't he heard Krishna say that he could not be the same as he was before? But those flashes quickly faded to acceptance and pain, one building upon the other. He could not, in fairness, blame the navy YUniko for any of this; he had never asked for their relationship to change, and Krishna knew how badly he had reacted before now. Part of him wanted to lash out, to snub the dancer in front of him, but it would only be further masochism. His feelings had been acknowledged, finally, even if not accepted. Now, he had to try and find a way to recover what he could. No matter how much it hurt.
"If that is what you want, Se-chan." He turned his back on the other Yuniko and crunched another bite of the apple. Sweet and sour; fitting. "I will do the same."
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 2:47 pm
It was exactly what he asked for, yet somehow nothing at all what he wanted. Maybe he had expected a lecture, one of the kirin's looks, at least a harsh tone. Sekani yearned for that pleasant familiarity and now could no longer entertain that Krishna may want the same, or could be happy with the same. The dust had settled in a bleary moment that somehow ended here, back to the uneasy 'friendship' that seemed to be festering as much as it was surviving. Sekani had to question, for a moment, why he even kept the friendship together if this was going to be the only result. He was never the type maintain a lie at the expense of his own self. That moment was very painful, for many reasons.
Sekani felt himself reconsidering the situation in the silence, and quickly shook it off. Not in front of Krishna. However, an awkward silence wasn't any good either. His hooves shifted, tail following suit, as he tried to find an alternate. He was just full of Things that are Not Very Useful lately.
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Quicksilver the Archangel
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 3:49 pm
The moment was very painful, for many reasons.
Krishna hated to admit it to himself, but when the only sounds in the room was his teeth crunching up the half-eaten apple and his hooves against the floor as he walked away. He had the pain from the rejection, a wound still bleeding freshly, the pain from having caused Sekani pain, and now the pain of the rift he had purposefully set up between them. He wanted to enjoy the awkwardness, at least on some level, wanted to be able to dish back some of what he was feeling. But he couldn't.
He made it as far as the piano stool before he had to still himself. He could take it no longer. The Kirin licked some of the tart juice from his lips and cleared his throat. Something had to fill the silence. Something had to knit them together again, even if it was a mere patchwork. "Is there... something else you'd like, before we go to bed?" No sense in ruining the role of host, since it was the only one he seemed able to perform correctly at the moment.
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