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My parents are not excessively anti-vegan. My mom occassionaly complains about 'how much it costs' (it would be much cheaper if she just bought the foods I asked her for instead of all the fancy specialty foods that she thinks I need...).

However, lately my parents and I have been having major issues.

I'll be graduating from high school very soon, and will be having a graduation party in mid-June. I survived twelve years of taunting and mass immaturity in my city's public school system, and have, despite having to put up with a ton of crap at school, managed to recieve high grades, and be accepted to several prestigeous colleges.

My mom is planning a graduation party for me in late-June, and at first I was very excited about it. It was going to be a huge party, and it would be about me... or so I thought.


As a long time vegetarian, meat makes me very uncomfortable. The smell of it makes me nauseous, and the idea of it is somthing which I find extremely vulgar and barbaric. Since it is my party, I wanted to have a vegan, or at least vegetarian, party.

Over the past several years, I've had a ton of all-vegan parties with my omni friends. No one has ever complained about the food; in fact, most people love it! My mother has never had a problem with these situations.

I figured that my mother would have no problem with my request for a vegan party, but I was dead wrong. I keep insisting that no one will mind pasta with sauce, bean burritos, mock-meat tacos, pad thai, roasted veggies, pasta salad, hummus, and the like. I even told her that I would be happy to cook everything! But, she gets very upset with me whenever I bring up the issue. She tells me that since she has not seen my extended family in ages, she wants to 'at least give them a good meal' when they come to my party. She tells me that none of my family will like vegan food. Pretty much all of the foods I want to have for my party are normal things, not lesser-known things such as couscous and seitan, so my mother's arguement is not very convincing.

My family can survive one meal without meat, and according to all of my omni friends, I am an excellent chef anyways so it is not as if they would be treated to a bad meal. Plus, this party is supposed to be a celebration of my accomplishments, so I think that I should be allowed to celebrate in the manner I choose, so long as it is reasonable. I really do not see what is such a big problem with the fact that I do not want any meat at my party! Most people should find my fare to be agreeable, and if not then it's free food on their part, and it's my party in the first place, so they can suck it up and eat chips and pasta.



I don't want to have my family barbeque, and have the scent get me so sick that I am forced to seek refuge burning incense in my room. I don't want my graduation party to be a barbaric celebration centered around dead, tortoured animals. I just want to have a good and peaceful time with my family and friends.


Does anyone have any advice for what to do with this siuation? I'm just getting very upset over the whole thing. I've asked politely, presented my case, and even offered to help pay for the food, but my mother will have none of it. It's getting to the point that I am considering just cancelling the party.


I may, admittedly, sound kind of selfish in this post. However, my mother has let me throw so many vegan parties in the past, so I a just getting very confused, upset, and frusterated with her unwillingness to let me have this party be vegan.

As an adult, I would think that it would get easier, but, No, it does not. For family functions, my mother becomes expecially upset, because her special foods aren't "special enough" for my vegetarian diet. I have offered to make a vegetarian version of it...however, it always ends in an argument, and finding myself eating somewhere else...


Oh, my dear relatives are coming, AND being the odd one out is going to quite "fun". If everyone hear catches my drift...

it looks more like shes the type of mom that is throwing a party to say "look what MY daughter did" she is throwing the party to show of what HER daughter did, that everyone should be happy for HER, not you...she wants herself to look good, shes not celebrating you....honestly, i would tell her that since this party is supposed to be for you and the smell makes you sick (be sure to emphasize that to her...it makes you SICK) and that if she is gonna have it her way then she can throw the party and you will go to a friends party instead....cause thats ridiculous

I didn't have a graduation party. crying

But if I did, I would've made the same request. It's not too much to ask for a party in your honor have foods that you like.

If they are primarily concerned about the cost, then a little research could go a long way in helping you win the argument. Go to the store, and write down the cost of how much it would be to get all those foods, and show your parents how much it really would cost to have the party done your way. No doubt they'd be surprised at how little it would actually cost.

And if she thinks that none of the guests would like the food, then you could maybe ask some of the guests what they would prefer, in terms of vegetarian foods. Attaching a little pre-party food poll to the invitations, for instance, ("would you prefer bean burritos or veggie burgers") would probably go a long way in not only soothing your parents' worries, but also making sure that there won't be too much leftover food.