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 Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:10 am
♠If you consider yourself one of the most literate here, please post an example of your work in RP style. Here is an example of my own, I do not expect yours to be as long but around a similar literary level. This is a very old post of mine, and I have improved since then, so don't criticise it too harshly. ;P BendFate Fire...The very essence of destruction, and yet the very same essence of warmth and heath, so it burned within the hearts of many, and upon the torches of the lost and broken. Though a blazing sun was falling from the horizon, down from the center of the sky rose a new dawn, with her rose-red fingers and locks of gold, they shone through the black sky to fall unto the opposing, setting horizon... A mysterious chime echoed silently through the realm, ringing like multiple small bells...a jingle set with a rhythm, as though a pace at which one stepped. As this chime grew louder, the sky grew brighter. A slight blot could be seen rising up from where the new, bright dawn shone, as though the darkness was but a curtain peeled away for an act to follow upon an elegant stage: the horizon. This blot shone vividly after a few moments, the chiming bells grew louder as the figure which was the blot emerged unto the realm... Heavy red, black-streaked boots pounded the earth gently, setting the chime of bells to tune...Spikes doned the top of these boots like those of a suit of armor, and yet the robe-like pants which rose over the boots contrasted this metallic appearance...Black, red-licked leggings of a mystical, fine cloth it seemed, wrapped around the legs of the approaching figure. A pair of fine leather belts, wrapped by a chain of a sort, hung loosely from the waist to this entity's left side to flank the mentioned leggings. Overlapping both of these belts a tad lied a tunic of fine folds, colored black with white to rim it at the waste, licked with red at the sides, tight to the figure's abdomin. As it rose, it hugged the apartiton's chest as well, which appeared to widen as it rose from the waist to the shoulders. From that point, one could spot a scarf of black and red strikes, luciously dark in both the mentioned shades of color. Lavishing the fgure's arms were two distinct sleeves of the tunic he wore, both thinner toward the shoulder and wider toward the forearm, the right's end was slashed open as a robe's reaching arm where the left was neatly clung to the arm of the approaching figure. Eyes of a deep, dark red shone brightly, with thick black hair not far above stuck out from a jesterly hat of red and black striped tendrils flowing from it to crown the peculiar figure. ...As the figure came into shape before the realm, the bells rung out in their melodious chime...Mysterious, beckoning, soothing... Once a relic of the land, the figure appeared as the Jynx the realm once knew, whom some even adored and admired, praised and aspired to be... As the entity drew completely into the spotlight raining down from high in the sky, elven ears became noteable, sticking out from the thick black hair he wore, pointed and sharp to hear. Though some might have found this ray from the dark sky to be a mystery, one who knew Jynx well enough woud understand, and so the night of Euphoria became a dim day despite the hour...Still it had a dusk to it, like in the time of the twilight, the sky was painted red like the elf's eyes, dark like his hair, a blend of emotions captured within it... Share with me ;D Oh, and in case you're curious of my post, Jynx is the name of my character. ♠
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:12 am
A very nicely done post. Hmm... I'll have to look around for a post from myself... May take me a bit, but alas nice post.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 11:19 am
Here's an old one.. I'd say abot 5 or 6 months old.
When Kazaki got home he found that the boys indeed were not up yet and being that it was one of the days Ritsuki had off he knew that his son would not be planning on getting up anytime soon... Well Kazaki had news for him. He sneaked in the house past Nana and then to the boys room. He opened the door and then walked in. He smiled seeing that both boys were fast asleep. He walked over and then pounced on Ruki's bed making sure not to hurt the boy and yelled.
"Come on boys time to get up!!!"
He then watched as Ruki's eyes were wide and then looked over to see Aiji jump about a foot out of his bed. Than Kazaki laughed and sat up off his son and watched as Ritsuki sat up.
Ritsuki sat up and then leaned against his dad. He was glad to see that his dad was feeling better and was in a good mood, but why on the planet did he have to wake him...Ritsuki yawned and looked over to Aiji who was already dressed. His eyes widened and then he got up and slowly got dressed. Once dressed Ritsuki stood there waiting for his dad and Aiji.
"So, what do you two want to do today huh? Today daddy's all yours alright?"
Kazaki asked and watched as their faces lit up. They both ran over to him and hugged him around his waste. He then led them out of their room and into the kitchen so he could make breakfast. He didn't know where Nana was and he figured he'd give her a break. He opened the door to the cellar and then opened the underground freeze box. He took out the milk and eggs that Nana must have gotten fresh that morning. Which means she was already on laundry. Kazaki smiled and then closed the freeze box with his foot and then placed the eggs and milk on the counter. He then added some wood under the stove to get it the fire going underneath and ready for cooking. He then walked back into the pantry and grabbed a good bit of rice. Enough that would last for lunch and dinner as well. He then got that prepared and placed it on the stove before grabbing a skillet and cracking a few eggs and placed them in the skillet. He took a spoon and started mixing them. After a moment he looked at the boys and told Ritsuki to go in the freeze box and grab the cheese. When he returned with the cheese Kazaki cut two pieces and then gestured for him to take the rest back. Kazaki then placed the cheese in the eggs and pour just a little bit of milk in with the mixture. Once the eggs were done he placed them in a big bowl and then covered the bowl to keep them warm. Kazaki then went into the pantry and grabbed a loaf of bread. He cut four pieces off and then placed the rest back. He went back into the kitchen and placed the bread in the pan making toast. while it was toasting he went back into the freeze box and grabbed the butter. He returned just in enough time to flip the bread and add the butter. Once they were done. He placed them on four plates. By that time the rice was done. Kazaki placed some rice on each plate and then added the eggs on top of the rice. He then covered the plates and went into the pantry and returned the butt and grabbed a big ham slice. He then went into the kitchen cooked it and placed pieces of it onto the four plates. He cut the boys ham up and then walked their plates over to the table where they sat drooling and waiting. He sat them down and then got two cups of milk and placed them in front. He covered the fourth plate up and grabbed his own and began eating. Once he was done the boys were still eating so he returned the milk to the freeze box and straightened up. When he got done the boys were finnishing so he got the fourth plate ready and placed a lid on it.
"Alright who wants to go with me to take this to mommy?"
He asked happily and laughed when both boys rushed outside and waited for him. He went and placed his shoes on and then followed the boys towards the tea house. When they got to the path both boys ran inside before he got to the door and peered in. Both of the boys had practically ambushed their mother and started telling her how daddy made breakfast and was all their for the day.
"Alright boys let your mommy breath.."
Kazaki chuckled and walked in calming them down and placing the plate on a table and gestured Kaede towards it.
"There you are my lady breakfast is served."
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:12 pm
♠Well that's bearable, some errors but I dont deem mine superior or anything. I'm just glad to see you can place some extension into your post. What I've noticed upon joining this guild is that most people do not RP very literately. While I don't have a problem with one whom many might label as 'illiterate' when it comes to RP, I personally prefer not to RP with them, it just puts ones efforts to shame, really. I don't mean to put anybody down who is reading this either, do not take offense, you do as you please and you enjoy what you do, that is the point of RPing, is it not? ;P
But anyway, getting back to you, Kazaki, you are well typed in my book, I am merely conducting this topic in hopes of finding that this guild will be a good place to spend some time to Roleplay. Should I find that it is not, I've already found some of the activities that go on here and at least there are those which are entertaining, for example, the little posting games going on. ;D ♠
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:21 pm
I do admit that my grammatical errors happen quite frequently. As for my spelling I seem to typo or just mispell some words. But I do take constructive critisism to try to better my roleplaying style. So any suggestions I am open to. As for the little entertainment threads I find myself enjoying them as well.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:24 pm
Tatya watched the crowd from her seat by Vincent. He had proven to her that he wasn't strong enough to be left alone in the presence of so many vampires so she was on babysitting duty. She was slightly annoyed with herself more than Vincent. She had known that he wasn't powerful enough, but she delivered him unto their hands anyway. It was her fault.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a familiar face. Her lost love that she had longed for so long ago. Jean-Claude. She watched him like an animal watching their prey. He was as beautiful as ever, maybe more so. But she looked past him, to the woman at his side. The famous Executioner. and even past her on her other arm was another familiar face. Asher in all of his golden brilliance. She stood, pulling Vincent up with her. She fixed his hair so the bite wound was hidden and they walked toward the three people.
"Bon Soir, mes amies. Its been a long time." She purred seductively as she greeted them. They turned almost in complete unison to face her and Vincent. A slow smile crept onto Jean-Claude's and Asher's faces; Anita's was more in a scowl.
"Bon Soir, Tatya. Indeed it has been a long time." Jean-Claude said most pleasantly. He could feel Anita's anger rising through the marks between them, but he continued his conversation with the petite beauty.
"Comment allez-vous, Tatya?? Last I heard, you acquire a new territory."
Tatya smirked. "I'm quite well, thank you. And you heard quite right, I have acquire new ground, and I taking very good care of it...as I do all my things." She looked at him with a sly smile. She wasn't sure how subtle her implication was, but she was guessing it wasn't very.
"Good Evening, ma belle." Asher gave her a low bow and a smile. She curtsied in return. "And I presume you are Miss Anita Blake?" Tatya said sweetly. Anita forced a smile and replied, "You presume correctly."
Tatya nodded and remembered that Vincent was on her arm. "Oh my, I must introduce my pomme de sang to you all, Vincent." Vincent simply nodded as Tatya had told him before they left. She couldn't afford him saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.
"Well we must be on our way, Tatya. Enjoy yourself tonight. We will talk soon." Jean-Claude said in a polite voice.
"Very well." She gave another curtsy and said to Anita, "Nice to meet you, darlin'." Anita only nodded. She didn't like Tatya or her attitude.
"That Tatya is a b***h. Did you see how she was practically throwing herself at you guys?" Anita said when she was sure she was far enough away for her not to hear. Jean-Claude and Asher chuckled.
"That is merely her nature, ma petite. She, like us, is of Belle's line. Her nature is sex and seduction." Anita wasn't convinced. "Yeah, maybe. but she's still a b***h in my book."
{{doesnt look all that long... but thats the longest one i could find. probably because i was playing 5 characters at once, lol}}
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 3:44 pm
♠Length does not concern me, it is the quality that defines a roleplayer, not the quantity. To expand a single point into a novel does not make it good, it is to convey that single point and make it enjoyable for the reader, not long and trecherous. The point is to leave an image in the mind of your fellow roleplayers, clear and understood. You know...Captivate your characters and their actions precisely rather than to go on about nothing. Don't sweat a length, I want quality. Of course, it will need some length to it to put enough detail into an entry, however, it does not have to be dragged out and overdone.
I'm certain that you follow what it is I'm trying to convey.
As for your post, Succubus4JC, I like the way you use your vocabulary and the like, however I do feel there could be a bit more filling placed in between to improve.
Still, you surpass a good few of whom I've witnessed so far in this guild. ;P ♠
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:29 am
This thread needs to be kept at the top of the forum at all times. Amazing posts. It's nice to know there are some other literate people here. <3 Anyways, on to my post.
A fire danced gleefully in the tiny fireplace, the flames licking the underside of a black iron pot. A small human child played happily in front of it; her toes wiggling in the air as she rolled on her back, and clapped her little hands. A woman sat near the young child. Her face was very youthful, but her eyes held wisdom and knowing only brought about by age and experience. The woman laughed at the child’s antics and lifted her gaze up to him. Her eyes were clear like pools of shimmering water, and her pale golden tresses ran down to the small of her back.
“Come love, don’t you want to play with her? She’ll only be like this for just a little while. A few more years at most. Such a little while,” the woman said with a warm smile.
He tried to smile back. They shouldn’t be here. It was too dangerous. For them, and for the humans. But what was he to do? She was in love, and wished to stay. And he followed her wherever she went. They never should have gotten attached. Never should have gotten...
-
Lucian jerked suddenly awake. His breath came out in short, quick gasps and his heart pounded in his chest. Sweat matted his hair, and his thin shirt clung uncomfortably to his flesh. He brought his knees up and grasped onto them tightly, trying to control the tremors that wracked his slight frame. Thunder suddenly boomed ominously accompanied by a blazing flash of lightning and a wind that tore open the shutters and blew back the drapes of his small, single window hut. Rain, like thousands of minuscule soldiers, pelted the building and swarmed inside. The whole building seemed to groan and shudder with the exertion of just barely holding the tempest out. Still trying to catch his breath, he stumbled shakily toward the window. The wind struggled briefly with him over the shutters until he was able to close them and firmly latch it.
With a sigh, Lucian turned his back on the shutters, and sat heavily down on the floor. He raised a hand up to his eyes, hoping that this meagre effort would dismiss the night time phantoms from his mind. A drop of water suddenly landed on his nose, awaking him from his stupor. Wonderful...how many tiles on his roof was he going to need to replace before the storm was over? And by the looks of the weather, he wouldn’t even be able to make it outside today. Unless he had a fancy for getting blown clear off the roof.
Holding on to the wall for support, he let his bare feet take him over to the small chest where he kept his sparse amount of clothes, and peeled away the sweat soaked shirt from his body. His skin was the color that most would expect from his race; a milky white, but that was disrupted by the sickly pale grey scar that ran down from the left of his chest to his right hip. It was thin and faint, yet still painfully obvious, and was not unlike those jagged cuts made from glass. Like one custom to ignoring it, he pulled a fresh tunic overtop his unwashed body, and a pair of slightly tattered jeans. Exhaling loudly, he stood up on his toes so he could get a better look in his mirror that he had inexpertly hung. If possible, his pale blonde hair looked even messier than it usually did, and stuck out in a hedgehog like manner. He scrubbed a hand through his hair; as if that would tame it, and examined his eyes. Normally bright, clear grey eyes would look back at him, but now they looked dull, and deep bags around them overshadowed the small amount of life that they still held.
Stupid dreams...
This is a post about a month old or so...A first post sort of thing. Unfortunately, I find I have a hard time keeping by the description when I'm interacting with another person, but I am working on improving. Constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated. ^^
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Muted Twilight Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 3:03 pm
My skills in role playing and grammar lack recently.
A couple of years ago I used to role play on a site as a fighter..
I need to polish up my skills again, it's just getting the time to do it that is the problem. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:59 pm
♠Well, MutedTwilight, I am glad that you agree with the idea. I feel it is a good way to set an example and at the same time perhaps provide ways to improve for others who are on their way to more 'literate' as some may put it, posts. I liked your style, though I only skimmed it in bits, I saw some things I look for.
Pure Vampyre: That is fine, as I stated earlier, I have nothing against those who are not considered at 'literate' as some, but I just prefer to keep the 'illiterate' --as some may deem the less roleplay included-- out of my range of interaction. It's similar to perhaps having a friend who makes a bad chef when you are the owner of a new and developing restaurant, you appreciate him/her as a friend but you'd prefer not to be involved with his/her cooking. ;P
Work on it, you'll get back to your previous status. ^^ ♠
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:28 am
I really hope I do. sweatdrop
It's nice to be in a guild where there are actually literate role players.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:43 am
The Duke was violently dragged from his calm state in the library and thrown into the vileness of his reality when the doors where thrown open and the young healer gave the older man commands. Hadrian was about to reply, but when he turned the boy was gone and tired servants had made their way to the library to see what the commotion was all about; most had a good idea. They looked to their master for orders, and they were given swiftly as the Duke told them to go out and search for his wife, repeating the words that Bishop had told them.
This was not good, not good at all. Lilliana was missing and the healer was in search of her...what would happen was anyone's guess. The night had been so peaceful that Hadrian had wondered if all the problems were in his head, but sadly that was not to be and he quickly made he way down one of the corridors in search of both his wife and the healer.
Lilliana had made quite a headway when she left the room of Bishop. Sheydra had hastened the young woman's movements as the ever present blood lust suddenly surged in the Duchess's breast, the demon angry that she had lost such a delightful moment with the healer. Sheydra was mad, and when the demon was angered blood was spilled. Sweet sweet blood.
She had stolen into the room of one of the younger servants; the young woman heavy with child. It took little time to drag the woman out of bed and reach into her belly, red life running down the ground and through the door. This host hadn't taken unborn life yet...but Sheydra was furious at the Healer and she was taking her frustration out on the woman and her unborn babe. The woman's mouth had been sealed closed by the demon in order to keep her silent, but hot tears ran down the servant's face as pain ripped through her body in waves. This was not her mistress that was committing this vile act, even through the red veil the servant could see that. The eyes that stared back at her had a red light shining through, the smile the shone held sharp teeth.
...Then there was light. Light broke through the room and caused the Duchess's skin to momently burn away as it touched her. Sinew and tendons bled through and then were hidden repeatedly by unmottled skin as the Demon's powers healed her host. The attack on the servant ended long enough for the woman to drag the pregnant girl out of the room by her hair the white light causing both Sheydra and Lilliana much pain. It was the Healer who had brought this light upon her and for a moment the demon lost control over the glamour over her human host. There was a second where Sheydra's true form could be seen, black marks marring her skin, red eyes burning with demonic fire.
The servant saw Bishop and started to fight weakly against Lilliana's vicelike grip, knowing that the man at the other end of the hall could, if anything, save the life of her child. Sadly, it was not to be. A dark shadow wrapped itself around the servant and lifted her up as Lilliana called out to Bishop. "Mistake healer. You should have left me alone. Silly little boy, you're not welcome here." The servant's mouth was given back just as the shadows turned deadly and reached into her stomach, ripping out the babe within, screams filling the hall. Lilliana begand to laugh as she was showered with blood as the child was dropped on the ground. The screams were cut short as her head was ripped from her body, the limp form falling to the ground with a wet thump.
Then Lilliana was behind the healer, one of her arms wrapped tightly around his waste, the macabe burning and healing of the skin still repeating itself. In her other hand she held up the severed head of the servant so that it was face to face with Bishop. "Heal this." This is probably one of my better posts. Just a note, I am NOT godmoding, the servant in this is a NPC, only Hadrian, Lilliana, and Bishop are played by people in this RP. Sadly I feel that my skills are lacking in certain areas, and I wish to improve them. Any help would be appreciated.
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The Dramatic Monster Crew
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Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 3:16 pm
As Ishi bathed into the warm and soothing springwater under the moon , His friends are on top of the wall which seprates the spring peeking at the girls a blond haired boy said "Ishi come on and join us!" Seeing this was the 3rd time he asked Ishi gave in and decided to join in as he climbed the wall he noticed the part of the wall is a bit flimsy.
What Ishi saw was 3 of his friends also bathing in the water. Then the blonde haired boy came over to him and whispered to him: "I never knew Izuna's were that large." As Ishi blushed the flimsy wall started to give in and fell into the pool in front of him. As he asended he saw the girls looking at him and the only thing Ishi was able to let out was a: "Hi."
"It looks like Ishi grew a pair" The purple haired girl joked. Then the blonde haired blue eyed girl (the one ishi's friends were reffering to) swam up to him. She is Ishi's childhood friend and Ishi had a crush on her for as long as he can remember. "Glad you can join us" Izuna smiled. Ishi blushed brightly and swam farther away. "Come on don't be shy" Izuna said as he grabbed Ishi's arm and pulled him towards her.
Just then a gothic looking girl walked in the spring and in both shock and anger she yelled: "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!" Then his friends were yelling at him "CLIMB QUICK!" As Ishi grabbed the towel to cover up his stiff unmentionables and started to climb up the wall as fast as he could. As his friends gave him their hands he was grabbed by the girl and he hit the ground. The last thing he saw was a foot about to be slammed into his face. "Nights out Ishi" The girl said as Ishi laid unconcious.
(Just a little something i made up)
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