Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reconnecting
(a.k.a. Where do babies come from?)

It was about a week after Rhine had returned home after his disappearance. Keeta still hadn't entirely forgiven him, but things were almost back to normal. It was a Friday morning, one she had off and, she was glad of the downtime. She was looking forward to spending some time with the kids and relaxing a little. Things had just been too crazy lately and she wasn't entirely over her morning sickness episodes.

Ceres had wanted to have the baby shower that weekend, but Keeta didn't think she could handle it just yet. She was grateful when she managed to talk her mother-in-law into reluctantly having it the following weekend. At least then she could have some breathing room, but Keeta still wished she understood why Ceres was so earger to have the shower as soon as possible. Deciding that there was no use furthur pondering something she has already spent hours trying to figure out, Keeta tried to let her mind go blank as she sipped her cup of hot tea.

Rhine had already been up for a good while. He was down in the Cafe taking care of the opening procedures. After that though he had the rest of the day to himself.

It was around seven when he tossed his apron into the dirty bin. He grabbed three to go boxes and shoved in some pancakes, eggs, bacon and such.

He patted his co manager on the back and then headed up the stairs.

He knew things were still not completely back to normal but normal enough. "Was hoping to be back before you were up," he said surprised his wife was already up. "Everything's okay?" He asked concerned for both her and the baby.

"I couldn't sleep," she remarked shrugging.

"My stomach's still got its ups and downs...and frankly I'm worried about your mother...but yes, I'm fine." Keeta smiled to reassure him, before taking another sip of her tea.

"Maybe putting something on your stomach will help you get back to sleep... It is still fairly early." Rhine smiled as he sat the to go boxes down on the table. "And your in luck I brought breakfast and I'm off for the rest of the day."

"My mother," Rhine sighed. "She's planning something. I don't know what. But I fear it will be one of the last things she does."

"Well I hope we can figure it out soon, because whatever it is, is making me nervous and we still have to sort out this thing with Natalia," Keeta shook her head.

"Anyways....I don't want to go back to sleep. Since we both have the day off, maybe we could plan on doing something together, with the kids. We haven't really had a chance since the honeymoon was cut short and all..." She eyed the take out boxes.

"What all have you got in there anyways? I'll have to think about whether Rhine Jr. can handle it or if he wants something simpler."

Rhine really wanted to avoid talking about his mother. It was too nice of a day for it to be ruined. He smiled and opened the box. "That sounds like a great idea. A day with you, and the kids."

"Sausage, bacon, pancakes, eggs, and hash browns." He hoped that there would be something in there that Keeta could eat that wouldn't unsettle her stomach. He had tried to think of everything.

"Mmmm...I think I'll go for the eggs and pancakes. I'll avoid the other things that have grease in them," she said after a moment of consideration. She smiled at Rhine.

"Thank you....What do you think we should do with our day? Lately I feel like we're going to be having fewer days available to us like this. What with the baby coming, and I think Camille will start school in the fall...It's crazy how quickly they grow up."

"I'm glad that there is something there that you can eat. Though, if there wasn't just say so and be honest. I don't mind cooking something special for you." He gave Keeta a quick kiss. He knew it would be long till everyone else was up.

"You didn't want to home school?" Rhine was a bit puzzled. He was home schooled himself along with the rest of his siblings. "We can do it together."

Keeta returned the kiss. It felt a little better every time. She was glad that whole episode was behind them...for now at any rate. As far as she could tell, the Island wasn't finished with his plans for Natalia. He would be back. She just hoped next time the others would see fit to include her in the fight.

"This will be fine Rhine. I think the grease is mainly what sounds unappealing right now. So long as I don't put too much syrup or butter on those pancakes, I think I'll keep it all down." She got up from the table to grab a few plates and utensils.

"I guess I hadn't really considered that...seeing as the society norm here is to send the children to public school. I figured they'd get to interact more with other children that way. Seems to me sometimes that they don't get to play with other children very often...I mean it's not like Camille has any friends she sees on a regular basis except Natalia, and she can't even play with Natalia right now..."

"If you change your mind let me know," Rhine rubbed Keeta's hand and then moved to help set the table. "Even if it is a whim or something totally just prego... I want to know."

"I suppose you do have a point. The kids could really use more interaction with others. You know we could home school them and then take them to an after school program." He hadn't ever been to a public school and was actually a little intimidated by it.

"Natalia will come around eventually..."

"Prego..." Keeta chuckled and shook her head. "I can't believe you just said that," she said, poking him playfully, before sighing and considering his suggestion.

"I suppose. I just feel that I should at least give her the chance to do that. I don't want her to grow up feeling isolated. Or Joel for that matter. I suppose Camille will be a bit of a guinea pig as far as the public school thing goes. And yes....eventually....but when is eventually Rhine?" She frowned and leaned over, her palms resting on the table.

"I mean she's a horse, for pete's sake! I'm not wanting to be callous, because I know you know I really care about her, but I can't make Camille wait for Natalia to turn back to herself, when we have no idea how long that might take." Keeta sighed and flopped into a chair, hating that circumstances made it so those words needed to be said. Natalia should never have ended up like she was...

Rhine reached his arms around Keeta and hugged her gently before tickling her. He grinned playfully. "Well you are. And, I love it."

"That's why I said an after school program," Rhine sighed. "It's just that I'm scared for them. I grew up isolated and I grew up just fine..." 'Well almost just fine,' he thought.

"She's not a Horse she's a Pegasus," he huffed. "And, she will come around. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday and soon!"

"I understand you're afraid, I didn't go to a public school either. But that doesn't mean that we can't let them try....and I know Natalia is a Pegasus...you're splitting hairs here Rhine. The point is that she isn't in a position to spend meaningful time with Camille or Joel right now and I don't want them to grow up without having interactions outside the family. Even when Natalia is better, that doesn't mean Camille and Joel shouldn't have other friends too...."

"If it is interaction you want then lets get them into a Private school. I'll pay for it." He was trying to meet his wife half way. "And, we can still find some after school activities for them to participate in."

"Frankly I don't know if Natalia will ever be herself again... Or, if my mother is even going to make it past tomorrow... It is a one day at a time thing," he sighed. "I just feel like we are excluding her..."

"That's fine, and we don't have to make any decisious now...I just didn't want us to just say we were for sure going to homeschool and nothing else..." Keeta sighed and hung her head.

"I've done it again. Turned something that should have been a simple conversation into something that is causing us to border on an argument. And I'm sorry about your mother and Natalia...I really am. I wish there was something I could do....." She wrung her hands and stared off into the livingroom.

"Although I'm not certain which one you feel we are excluding. Natalia, or your mother?"

"We both do it," Rhine said as he slid his head under his wife's chin and kissed her gently. "Mountains out of mole hills," he chuckled.

"Natalia. It is unintentional... It's just that... I don't know." Rhine sighed. "It is all a mess."

Keeta kissed him back, but she still felt ashamed.

"I know she doesn't know what she's doing, but that doesn't change the fact that she would rather not have our company at the present time. We can't change her mind. She's as subborn in equine form as she was as a child..." Keeta sighed and hung her head again.

"And here I thought we were going to have a pleasant morning."

Rhine grinned and pushed the pancakes in front of his wife. He went and grabbed some fruits and whip cream from the fridge. He then made a face out of the stuff. "It's happy to see you!" He cooed. He decided to drop the previous parts of this morning and recover the rest.

Keeta raised an eyebow at her husband, before reaching for the pancakes, an amused half smile tilting upwards.

"I see...." Shaking her head, she respected his wishes and dropped the discussion, instead focusing on eating the pancakes. Rhine Jr. seemed to be ok with that for the moment.

A moment later, little feet could be heard coming down the hallways into the kitchen. Camille appeared still in her nightgown, rubbing her eyes and clutching her teddybear. She let out a yawn and smiled at Rhine and her mommy.

"Good morning Camille," he smiled and pulled the chair out for her with his tail. "Pancakes, bacon, and eggs?" he asked. He knew that being a child meant that every week you had a new like.

Camille climbed into the chair and sat up on her knees so she could see the offerings. She wasn't particularly picky, so it all looked good to her.

Keeta smiled at her from across the table. "Morning sweetheart," she said, before taking a bite of her pancakes and fruit.

"Hello mommy," she said, rubbing her eyes again and setting the bear on the table, before looking at Rhine.

"Yes please, Daddy," Camille said, grinning up at him, and Keeta chuckled quietly. The daddy thing was new. She had started it right before the wedding.

Keeta suspected that Natalia had had a hand in suggesting that the little girl call Rhine that, but she had no way to confirm that. She raised her eyes to gauge Rhine's expression.

"But first," he pulled a napkin from its holder and unfolded it. "Bear needs a bib." He wrapped it around the bear.

After that he proceeded to put pancakes, bacon, and eggs on a plate for Camille. "There you go darling. A feast for two." He kissed Camille's forehead as he sat down a fork and spoon. "Juice or milk?"

Camille giggled as Rhine put the bib on her bear.

"Thank you Daddy. Juice please!" Camille instantly responded.

Keeta knew that answer without asking. Camille would drink milk, but if given the choice between something that came from a plant, or something that came from an animal, she would always choose the plant-based item. Keeta supposed that was the water-lily nature of her green-skinned daughter. She watched the little girl closely, as if seeing her again for the first time. Camille was growing quickly and Keeta suspected that there was a lot more to her daughter than met the eye, but only time would tell what that would be.

If only that painting shop were still open.... Keeta had tried going back to the store, but found its doors closed, and the front room empty of paintings. So now Camille was a mystery that would have to be unraveled on her own. Shaking her head, she tried to bring herself back to the present. Her mind had wandered and now she smiled to see Camille "feeding" her bear. Keeta took one more bite of her own pancake, before deciding the baby had had enough, her stomach lurching slightly.

It was then she heard Joel whining in the other room, as he started to wake up. She was glad of the excuse to walk away from the rest of her breakfast without worrying Rhine.

"I'll get him. I bet he needs to be changed anyways....." Keeta had considered starting to potty train him, but decided it could probably wait a little bit. Maybe when she was done with this morning sickness stuff. She made a mental note to discuss it with Rhine soon.

"Here you go little lady," Rhine poured Camille a glass of juice. He patted her on the shoulder before moving on to fix Joel and himself a plate.

He tried not to show that he felt bad about Keeta not feeling well. He wouldn't say it, but he felt he was partly to blame for it. He wished there was something more he could do for her... But, he knew that pregnancy just had to take its course.

"So, you have any plans today?" He asked Camille.

"Mmmmm...." Camille chewed for a minute while she thought about it.

"I want to play with my horses and my dolls today. Do you want to play with me? Or maybe Joel or Mommy could play with me." She looked over at Keeta's plate.

"I guess mommy wasn't very hungry?" She looked at Rhine, a little bit of worry on her face.

"Mommy isn't feeling good?"

"I don't see why we couldn't all play together." Rhine grinned. It was rare that he allowed himself to have a day off. But, now that he had a family- one that was growing he knew it would be important to spend as much time with family as with work.

"Just a bit under the weather," he said as he glanced at Keeta's place and then back to Camille. "You ever thought about what it would be like to have another brother or sister?"

Camille tilted her head at the expression. It wasn't one she was familar with yet. Little kids tend to take things a little too literally.

"Under the weather?" she asked, confused, before picking at her breakfast again, considering her daddy's question.

"Would I have to share my bear with them?" she asked, looking at Rhine seriously. Joel was a boy and didn't want to play with her bear, but maybe a new brother or sister would? She didn't know what it was like to not have a brother or sister.

"Why would I get a new brother or sister anyways?"

Rhine easily picked up on Camille's confusion via her expression and tone of voice. He had forgotten how kids took sayings literally. "Under the weather means not feeling good," he smiled.

Rhine tried to look to silly when she went serious over sharing her bear. He knew that the bear was very special to her. "There are toys you will have to share at some point... But you won't have to share bear." He hoped that was a satisfying enough answer.

Now Rhine was stumped. Camille was certainly too young for the birds and bees talk... And he didn't really believe in storks. "Why don't we leave that one to your mommy," he said when he had no acceptable answer coming to mind. He was sure Keeta would have a better answer.

"Oh, I hope mommy feels better...." Camille said seriously, a frown crossing her face. "Do we need to take her to the doctor?" She hugged her bear tightly as Rhine finished his thought about having to share. Her frown intensified into one of deep thought, as she tried to understand everything. He said that he would have to share, but was he just asking her to pretend or was this for real?

"So I am going to have a new brother or sister?" she said looking up at him again. Her daddy was being very confusing this morning.

"Why do I have to be left with the difficult questions?" Keeta asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow as she walked in on the tail end of the conversation. Joel was sitting at her hip, rubbing the sleep out of one eye.

"Because moms are so much better at answering them," Rhine grinned. It was true. Mom's had more experience, even first timers... Not to mention they were just generally better at these types of things.

"Good morning Joel would you like some pancakes?"

"I don't know about that..." Keeta said with uncertainty as she set Joel down in his booster seat.

He grinned up at Rhine and threw his hands in the air excitedly.
"Pancakes!"

"I think we're equally qualified to share this kind of information," Keeta said as she put her hand on her hip where Joel had been and gave Rhine a very clear 'you are going to help me explain this, after all it's your baby too' look.

Camille, confused looked back and forth between Rhine and Keeta. She know that adults could 'talk' without talking, she just wished she knew what they were saying.

"Is something wrong mommy?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable.

Rhine fixed Joel pancakes just the way he liked them. He even cut them up for him before putting them in front of him. "There you go," he said as he kissed Joel's forehead.

He looked over at Keeta and grinned. "I tried. I honestly did," he said guiltily when he saw her expression. He looked like a kid caught with a cookie and having no way to explain how it go there.

Camille was still glancing between the two of them, looking perplexed. Mommy and Daddy were certainly being confusing.

Keeta looked down and saw her daughter's frustration and sighed. Well she supposed there would be no better time. She sat down and gently took Camille's hands.

"Camille, I think what your Daddy was trying to tell you earlier is that you are going to have a new brother or sister soon. When the baby comes, it's going to be very small and need someone to take care of it all the time. It won't be able to feed itself or get its own clothes on." Keeta smiled at her daughter reassuringly, glancing only briefly over at Joel. He was occupied with his pancakes, and Keeta didn't really believe he would understand yet anyways.

"Oh...." Camille frowned slightly and looked down as she thought about this. "But I was able to do all those things when I was 'born.'"

"Some babies just need a little more help than others," Rhine smiled. "And, that is where brother's and sister's come in as well as mommy and daddy." He hoped that was appropriate enough response. "And, don't worry you won't be left out," he hugged Camille and smiled. Joel seemed content enough with the pancakes that he didn't need reassuring.

"And Camille, you weren't born the same way this baby will be. You came from a beautiful painting, remember? The new baby is going to come out of mommy's tummy. It's going to grow in there for a while until it is ready to come out. It's going to make mommy look really big for a while." She smiled softly.

"If you look really careful, you can see the bump where the baby is growing," Keeta pulled her shirt tight and arched her back slightly to make her slight roundness more noticible.

Camille's eyes grew wide as she tried to absorb all this.

"There's a baby in there?" She frowned again. "Is the baby making mommy sick?"

"Mommy has to adjust to caring for two and then she'll be just fine," Rhine hoped that would make Camille feel a bit better about all of this.

He hugged Keeta from behind and whispered "I love you".

"In a couple of month's your new brother or sister will be kicking and you'll be able to feel it," he was trying to give Camille something to look forward to.

"I love you too, honey," Keeta replied to Rhine, with a smile, covering his hands with her own. She arched an eyebrow at him and shrugged as if asking how he thought this was going.

Camille looked uncertain. "But I don't like that the baby is making mommy feel sick. And it's going to kick mommy? Won't that hurt? I don't like it when Joel tries to kick me." She hugged her bear tightly.

"I'll be fine honey," Keeta said gently, moving one of her hands to rest on Camille's shoulder.

"Joel was born like this baby. Out of my tummy, and I was ok, right?"

At the mention of his name, Joel turned more towards the conversation. "Baby?"

"Camille, honey, leave all the worrying and planning up to us," he said as he kissed her on the forehead. "Yep, just fine... Without complication," he grinned. He wouldn't let on how hopeful he prayed they were that this pregnancy went without complication.

Camille sighed, clearly still not happy, but she seemed to accept things for the moment. At least it hadn't occured to her to ask the dreaded 'how did the baby get in mommy's tummy?' question. But a different thought did occur to her, and she looked up again, her expression a bit brighter...as well as determined.

"I'm going to help take care of mommy so that when the baby is making her feel bad she doesn't have to do things, 'cause I'm a big girl."

"I know mommy will appreciate all the help you give," Rhine grinned. He could already see the insanity that could occur...

"Alright then, if we are done eating let's get the kitchen cleaned up. Then we can go to Wally J. Weasels," what better place for a family of four to go than an indoor eatery and play place. Sure it would be noisy, but he knew the kids would love it.

Camille's face lit up, as did Joel's.

"Yay!" she bounced out of her chair and started jumping up and down with excitement.

"Wally J. Weasels! Wally J. Weasels! Thank you Daddy thank you!" she squealed.

"Ok Camille. Go get yourself dressed, like the big girl you are, while your Daddy and I get your brother ready, " Keeta said with a chuckle, glad to see this help improve her daughter's mood. She also saw Joel reaching to be let out.

"We go play!" Joel said wriggling, determined not to be left out of the fun.

The kids being this happy made him that much more happier. He chuckled as he helped Joel from the high chair. With him on one side- he used the opposite side and his tail to collect the remains of breakfast and get things cleaned up.

"Alright, time for you to get that syrup of your nose," he grinned. "And get into some play clothes."

Joel wrinkled his nose as Keeta approached him with a damp kitchen towel. He turned his head from side to side, trying to avoid having his face wiped.

"Oh come on, little man, we have to get you cleaned up before you can play," she said, gently scolding, before getting a grasp on his chin and wiping the stickyness off his face. She smiled at Rhine, before stepping back.

"Thanks for holding him. Would you mind getting him dressed? I'll go get myself ready and then check on Camille."

Camille had bounded down the hallway and was now digging through her clothes. Much like the artist of the painting she had come from, she loved color, and was now adorning herself appropriately. She still preferred dresses and skirts to pants, but that didn't stop her creativity. She put on a bright pink skort (shorts/skirt combo), a bright blue shirt with yellow flowers all over it, and green and blue stripy knee-high stockings. Camille put on her own velcro tennis shoes and as a final touch, pulled her leafy hair back in a headband. She grinned at herself in the mirror. The resulting appearance was a little dissheveled by adult standards, but she was proud of herself. She was definitely getiing better at this getting dressed thing.

"I've got this covered," Rhine said as he kissed Keeta on the cheek. He then carried Joel out of the room.

He sat Joel down on the floor and then began to go through the clothes. Shirts were always the hardest. Shorts were easy. He knew that proper fitted clothes would be best because loosing your britches atop the play tower was never a good thing.

""Stripes or solids?" He held up two shirts.

Joel frankly didn't care about the patterns or color of his clothing. He just wanted to get dressed so that they could go play. He frowned at being asked to decide, before smiling as though he'd figured something out.

"Daddy pick!" he said gleefully. "We go pway?"

In the meantime, Keeta started digging through her closet to find some clothes that fit her. Despite the pregnancy being very early on, she was already finding most of her clothes to be fitting tightly. She finally found a pair of jeans that had been kind of loose on her prior to the pregnancy that didn't seem too uncomfortable. Normally she would have selected a skirt, but knowing that she might have to be climbing on the equipment after Joel and/or Camille, she decided trousers were more appropriate. Sighing, she glanced in the mirror, rubbing the small bump and making a mental note to get out her maternity clothes soon.

Rhine, who didn't have much fashion sense himself, picked at random. It at least matched. Within minutes- thanks to Joel being cooperative, he was dressed and ready to go.

"Up we go," he said as he picked up the tot and carried him out of the room. "Let's go find mommy and sissy so we can get going."

Keeta and Camille were parked on the couch in front of the TV watching cartoons. When Keeta heard her husband's footfalls, she looked up and smiled. Seeing Joel dressed, she knew they were ready to go and turned off the TV,

"Com'on Camille. Daddy and Joel are ready now." Grabbing her purse and the 'kid's bag,' she headed for the front door.

"Let's go have some fun!"

I'm a Big Kid Now!

Things were differerent now. It was hard to move on. Ceres and Sky were gone. Rhine was a wreck and Natalia was now one of the family, believing herself to be the biological daughter of Rhine and Keeta. Keeta wondered how long that would last, seeing as the most Natalia resembled either of them was the fact that both she and Keeta had blue hair. For now, however, it was what it was.

Despite all the chaos and uncertainty, however, life went on around them. Camille was getting ready to enter school. Joel was gaining a bigger vocabulary and trying to run and climb everywhere. Keeta's belly swelled larger every day. The restuarant still had hungry customers and Mystics still brought it the usual crowd, although Keeta was only filling in when needed now. As much as she and Rhine might have wanted to stop the world to let them recover from their bubbles being burst, Keeta knew she needed to get in stride or things would only get worse.

Joel, for example was getting older. He had just been introduced to a big kid bed, when his crib was moved to Camille's room, in anticipation of the baby. The proper rail guards had been installed of course, to keep him from falling out of the bed, but it was still a big change for him...and for Keeta. Her little boy was growing up, little by little.

In fact it was about time for Keeta and Rhine to consider putting him in preschool or daycare to become better socialized and learn whatever skills kids should be learning at that age. The problem was then that Joel was not yet potty-trained. It was not a task Keeta relished by any means, but she knew it needed to be done. Part of her cursed the fact that she had waited so long, but what was done was done.

Now Keeta was going through the slow process of transitioning Joel from diapers to underwear. It would be a relief if Joel was out of diapers by the time the baby came along. Then there would only be one to worry about changing, instead of two. She didn't know if her method was correct or conventional, or even going to work, but damnit she was going to try her best.

She started by trying to explain to Joel the end goal: that he would wear big boy underwear all the time. That it might be a little scary at first, but that he would be a big boy, when he was done. Then she started by trying to train him a little while he was still in diapers, trying to get him to learn to pay attention to his body's signals. Rhine was also there, trying to be encouraging and help out when he could, but seeing as Keeta was the one at home most of the time, she was doing most of the work.

After he had made a few successful trips to the potty, she thought he was getting the hang of it, and so she brought out the big boy panties. They were green and blue with planes on some and race cars on others. She had let him pick out the patterns on them when they went to the store, as something for him to work towards. Keeta was excited, glad that something was finally going right, thinking that perhaps the frustration other parents had experienced with this process was just hype. She smiled and held them up in front of Joel.

"Look! It's your big boy underwear!" Grinning, she handed a pair to Joel, so he could feel the fabric and just check it out in general. He held them up and examined them and pulled, seeing how they were stretchy. He also smiled and pointed at the cars.

"So...what do you think?" Keeta asked, trying to get a feel for her son's attitude about this change in his life.

"I love wace caws and pwanes!" he said, enjoying the pictures.

"I know you do Joel, that's why you picked those pictures, but do you like the underwear? Do you think you would like wearing these big boy panties instead of diapers?"

Joel just kind of looked at her. He didn't know what it felt like to wear anything other than diapers. And he was not yet good at imagining how something could be. He just dealt with the this is what is. He frowned slightly. He wasn't sure.

"Wiwl it huwt?"

Keeta had to work to keep a straight face at that question, but she collected herself and answered calmly. "No Joel. It's just a different kind of clothes. Like your shirt or your pants. It doesn't hurt."

Joel still seemed unsure, but he relented and allowed Keeta to help him into a pair with planes on it. He twisted and turned, trying to see them on himself, with little success. Chuckling and taking pity on him, Keeta scooped him up and took him into the bathroom before setting him down on the counter so that he could see himself in the mirror. Smiling, he turned around in Keeta's grasp, so he could get a full 360 degree view. He laughed in delight.

"I bwig boy!" Joel said, wrapping his arms around his mom's neck.

"Yes, you sure look like one in those. Won't it be nice when you can wear them all the time?" Keeta asked, trying to motivate him, although she wasn't sure whether that kind of thing would be motivating to a child of Joel's age for more than a little while. She needn't have worried. In fact, her motivation perhaps worked a little too well.

Keeta let Joel wear the underwear for a while, hoping that he would remember to tell her if he felt like he had to use the potty. She asked him periodically, but he kept saying no. Frowning after the third time, she began to worry he would have an accident, but she supposed he would never learn unless things like that happened. Finally it came time for Joel's nap and he was starting to get cranky, like he usually did when he was tired.

Not trusting him to "listen to his body" when he was sleeping, Keeta carried him to the bathroom and sat him on the potty hoping he would go before she put him in his bed. He went, but she still didn't want to let him sleep in his underwear, so she pulled out a fresh diaper and went to put it on him.

When Joel saw what his mommy was doing, he moved away from her, pulling his panties up and keeping a firm grip on the waistband. He frowned at her and pouted.

"No! No baby dwiaper! I bwig boy!" he said very firmly.

"Joel, it's just for while you sleep," Keeta said calmly, trying to get keep him from getting further upset.

"Using the potty is new for you, and I don't want you to have an accident while you're asleep. You can put your underwear back on after your nap."

"No!" Joel said, frowning, and crossing his arms. His voice was louder and more on edge.

"Joel...." Keeta said warningly.

"NO!" he screamed at her. "I not baby! No dwiapers!"

Keeta felt herself growing frustrated and flustered. Joel had never done this to her before. Maybe he was hitting the 'terrible two's' stage late. She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. She had to remember she was the adult and was the one in control. It was not ok for him to control the situation with his demands, voice, actions or attitude. When she felt she was calm enough, she knelt down to his level and spoke again.

"Joel. It is not ok for you to scream at Mommy. I am only doing what I think is good for you." She spoke calmly, yet firmly, her expression neutral.

"When you get better at using the potty, you can wear your underwear while you sleep, but for right now, you need to wear these while you sleep. That way if you can't listen to your body, you won't get your bed and clothes all wet, and have to take a bath. When you wake up, you can put your big boy panties back on."

"NO!" he said again, not giving any ground, and starting to cry a little. He did not want to put on diapers again!

Keeta sighed, wishing she did not have to do this the hard way, but she was not going to let him win. She wished he had picked something else to challenge her on, because she didn't want him to make negative associations with potty training, but she had to do it. Whether Joel recognized what he was doing or not, Keeta knew he was testing limits, and if she gave in, she would just be making things harder for her later, because Joel might think that throwing tantrums would get him his way. She just had to remember to stay calm, because getting angry would give Joel power.

She reached for her son and picked him up with one arm, while the other started pulling his panties down, so she could put the diaper on. Keeta moved so quickly that it took Joel a second to react to what was happening. The underwear was halfway down, before he started flailing, and crying, trying to stop his mom, who continued, dodging, his fists and pulling the cloth further down, despite his moving legs.

"No! No! No mommy! No! No! No!" he kept repeating, even as she got them all the way off and reached for the diaper.

It was a struggle, but eventually Keeta got her crying, struggling son into a diaper and into his room. She placed him on his bed and he continued with his fit. He climbed off the bed and tried to reach the top bureau drawer where Keeta kept the underpants, and she was glad he couldn't reach it. There was nothing he could really climb on to try and get at it either, so Keeta wasn't worried about him getting in there. She picked him up and placed him in his bed once more. Again he climbed out and went to the drawer. Keeta kept this up for a few minutes, before simply walking out of the room and holding the door closed behind her. After a moment, Keeta felt him pulling on the handle.

"Joel, you can come out after you have calmed down and taken your nap," she said, much more calmly than she felt. This firm discipline with love thing was hard to do.

Crying could still be heard from the other side of the door, but it was losing its strength and ferocity. Soon Keeta could no longer feel the pulling from the other side of the door and the crying continued to get more quiet until it was reduced to sniffles and then nothing at all.

When it had been quiet for several minutes, Keeta opened the door a crack to check on Joel. She was only slightly surprised to see him curled up on the floor beside the bureau, fast asleep. Shaking her head in wonder, she gently picked up the small boy and placed him gently on his bed.

She sat there a minute glad to see him peaceful once more, before brushing aside some hair and kissing him on the forehead. Joel was certainly being a challenge today, and Keeta was frustrated, but she still loved him. Giving a wry smile and wondering what she would be faced with when he woke up, Keeta made her way out of the room, giving him one last look before she shut the door.

jounal entry?