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 Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 11:38 pm
xxrokixx
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
I like those.
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Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:51 am
You have $5 Chuck Norris has $5 Chuck Norris has more money
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:44 am
Sticks and stones may break your bones... but a glare from Chuck Norris will liquefy your kidneys
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Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:51 pm
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Posted: Fri May 02, 2008 8:29 am
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves.
Time waits for no man. Unless, fo course, that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower---he only takes blood baths.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris’ favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:17 pm
Chuck Norris CAN smell what the rock is cooking
China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the ******** down
Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 7:58 pm
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 1:29 pm
chuck norris once walked down the street with a massive erection
there were no survivors
under chuck norris's beard there is no chin only another fist
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Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 1:38 pm
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ******** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull
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