Right.
Kay, so open up your MSN. (I always have my MSN maximized so if the porportions seem off, maximize your screen.)
biggrin 
Don't bother selecting any of the boxes (it gets annoying, trust me. If you can remember your e-mail and password, there's no need.)
3nodding If you don't want to be seen when you sign in - click 'offline'. It signs you in as invisable. You can see who's online (unless they are appearing offline as well), without them seeing you. Like Lurking!
ninja You CAN talk to people while appearing offline, but it's easier if you're online
3nodding But anyways - click 'Sign in' - and wait for MSN to sign you in
biggrin 
Top of your screen, it will have your Username (I can't remember what it automatically has ... but you can change it to whatever you want.), and click 'Options'
This is also one of the ways to chance your status.

This screen will pop up. This is also where you change your Username thing. (Not your e-mail address, but what your MSN name is).
Click 'General'.

This is where you fix the 'stopping MSN from starting up automatically' problem!
biggrin Uncheck the first, third and fourth boxes. Leaving the 2nd checked,
Then click 'Apply' and then 'OK'
And you should be done, and that should solve your problem.
Now - MSN installs itself to the entire computer, as in all the desktops (if you're using Windows XP or Vista). So if other people in your home have their own desktops on the computer - they will also have to go and uncheck those boxes on MSN on their desktop.
whee ... I think ...
And then you should be ready to go!
biggrin What's your e-mail? I'll add you.
When you sign on next - after I add you - a little box will appear in the top left corner, it will tell you that I have added you - click... accept? I think that's what the button says.
I believe there is also another checkbox - make sure it says 'add this user to my list' <-- or something to that effect.
3nodding heart