[ GARDENING 101 -- solo ]
He
really needed to stop going out of the house when he was high. Sure, watching the wood grain flow like a river and striking up a conversation with your couch got old, but at least it was safe! Now he had been let loose on the public. Which probably didn’t go well for both parties. Though he suspected he got the shorter end of the stick, what with there being two big cabbages sitting on his dinner table and all.
He probably thought he could eat them or smoke them or… something. But so far they seemed quite useless. They were real and all, but when he tried to pull a leaf from the head of the cabbage, it wouldn’t budge yet it looked as tender as vegetation should! Plus! it was weighed about the size of a small child! Something had gone horribly wrong and the jackasses that had done this to him were probably still laughing their asses off.
“… What are those?”We`rika turned his bloodshot eyes on his ward behind him, his disgruntled face clearly a beacon for Sevilin to shut the ******** up. But that wasn’t his style.
“Whoa! How much did you pay for these?! They are so big! Are they supposed to get this big? Do you eat them? Do they even taste good?! They look weird!”He just let the little Frei yammer on still trying to decide what the hell he should do with them. “I dunno…” He finally concluded and got up from his chair, looking for his jacket and keys.
“You’re not gonna throw them away are you? Where are you going?”“Out. I fergo’ ta check my mailbox… Ya can do whatever ya wan’ with th’…things…”
“Okay…” Sevilin watched his guardian slam the door shut before squealing and floating above the big cabbages. He’d seen some shows about gardening before. This would be easy. “So first!” He needed water. Everything got watered for some reason. He grabbed one of the cabbages and with a loud huff he floated over to the sink. Geez, they were heavy buggers. He set them both in… sorta. They wouldn’t fit all the way so he kind of just stacked them on top of each other. Close enough. He turned the faucet on and let them soak. “Ta-dah!” Problem solved. He filled himself a cup of water, added some salt, and sat back on the couch, so proud of himself. Fifteen minutes later the door opened and We`rika came in with a few letters he was rifling through. The sea nymph didn’t pay him much heed til he heard a screech and thump echo from the kitchen.“SEV’LIN! GE’ IN HERE NOW!”
“What’s wro—oops…” Sevilin’s pretty face twisted into a grimace at the sight of We`rika splayed on the floor, water running down the sides of the cupboards. “I was just… watering them! I didn’t mean to—”“Well ya hafta turn off th’water! Th’cabbages were blocking the disposal, c’mon Sev’lin, think nex’ time…”
“Sorry… I’ll clean up the water!” Floating close to the floor, Sevilin dipped his hands in the puddles, absorbing the water like a sponge.Tsking, We`rika got up and turned off the faucet, pitying the poor cabbages caught in Sevilin’s care. “Vegetables dun need water after they are picked ya know… Geez these things look pissed…” The shaman could feel a strong discomfort vibrating from the vegetation.
“… They look like cabbages…”“Listen, I’mma jes telling ya wha’ I feel mmkay… Hell, I’d be a pissed cabbage too if ya did tha’ ta me…” We`rika picked up one of the cabbages and quickly inhaled as that same feeling radiated from it. More individual and… strangely masculine. “Uhmm… les pu’ them by th’window so th’sunlight can dry them ou’ faster okay? Grab the other…” He returned to the living room and pushed back one of the curtains and placed the cabbage on the ground. Sevilin handed him the other and he put it beside it… or him, whichever. The room swam with gratitude and the quieter cabbage began to exude a stronger personality and female undertone. Weird. Maybe he was still high. “… I’mma gonna watch some TV, please dun abuse the cabbages more than you have…”
Reply
