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SasukexSakura Fanfiction Need opinoins!

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Imaginary Nightmare

Melodious Giver

7,625 Points
  • Person of Interest 200
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:46 pm


Author:ME!(Saya)
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It was a cold morning and Sakura was up early. She had grown out her long bubblegum pink hair and had womanisied over time. Today she will see Naruto and Sasuke for the first time in 2 years. She was so excited. She took a shower and got dressed in her shippuden clothes. She ran to there meeting spot. Sakura had been lonely these few years ever since her mom and dad died, plus having Naruto and Sasuke gone for a long time. Then she saw 2 figures walking up. They were.....
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Cliff hanger tell me if you like it!  
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:54 am


Kinda short, but I like it!^^
You shouldn't put, 'She took a shower and got dressed in her shippuden clothes.'
Saying her shippuden clothing is sort of lazy,
try this:
'She took a shower and got dressed (In her shippuden clothing).'
So people know what to imagine!^^
Like I said, u should make it longer,
but I like the cliffhanger!
Ima just givin u constructive critisizm,
so please dont take this as bullying.
Hope to see more! wink
~NN44

Naruto_Ninja44


Saruhno

PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 10:43 am


Yeah it's good. Keep going. Try describing a little more.
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