AofH_lifeissues
Ks, I have a guy friend who has, um.. chastity issues. He recently admitted to me that he finds me attractive - but in the wrong kind of way. K.... bluntness... he said that it's bad enough he wants to bed me. But, he won't, he knows it wrong. How can I help him not get those kind of feelings from me. I thought I was modest enough. I think i am but he says everything ido attracts him. HELP!
First of all, I am going to assume you are a girl. And you are dressing modestly, that is good. You are doing "your part" as it were.
Next, Sister Kisa is right.
sister kisa
First, It is your friends problem that he finds you attractive. It's not anything you did.
But would add, finding you ATTRACTIVE is not a PROBLEM. Attraction is not a problem in and of itself, and it is natural. HE needs to learn to control taking that attraction further to impure thoughts. But that is HIS RESPONSIBILITY. And only his.
YOU are not to blame for HIS thoughts, and nobody should make you feel like you are. Not that this is this dire, but that is the mentality that date rapists try to put forth "oh, she was just so sexy I couldn't help myself" BULL CRAP. God gave us each agency and guys CAN NOT push that agency off on girls.
A note on what Deprsephy said...
dersephy
anywho. the only thing that you can do at this point is to be as unsexy as humanly possible. making sure you dress appropriately is key. And if you really want to, burp and fart in front of him all the time to make yourself seem even more unattractive.
I think THIS is ridiculous. Dress modestly as you should anyway, yes. But there is NO REASON WHATSOVER to make yourself ugly or do things that would make you feel bad about yourself. I think that is an example of trying to blame a girl for his problem. BE YOURSELF.
dersephy
most of it is actually up to him. it's really up to him to decide what he thinks about. he can be attracted to you all he wants, as long as he isn't doing anything (this includes thinking of dirty things).
attraction is not a bad thing, God gave it to us to make us more likely to reproduce (lawl). People can often mistake lust for love (it happens all the time in the world), and this seems like it's more lust than love.
Now that part is true. If he IS a friend and you DO want to help him, just do that... be a friend. Pray for him. Do NOT get into deep situations where temptation would be hard for either of you and if he is struggling with bad thoughts and he tells you about them, encourage him (if he is LDS) to speak to his Bishop. Mostly stay strong to YOUR standards and be an example.
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