Nn.
It started a while back. May of 2006, actually.
So, my best friend, whom I had been best friends with for about 2 1/2 years at the time, decided that she liked me. That was good, I liked her too. I didn't wanna date her. I told her that it could mess up the friendship.
She said, "I don't think I could ever hate you. Could you ever hate me?"
And of course I answered, "No."
So I'm sure you know where it went from there.
So, at some point over the summer, she... seemed to decide that she hated me. She didn't talk to me, and when she did talk, it was strained and avoidant. After a while, the talking stopped completely. It hurt a lot.
I started to wonder about things, like, "Did she really like me that way? Was she just confused? Did she just use me to figure out what her preference was? Does that mean that our friendship wasn't worth anything to her?" And of course, "What did I do?"
This, of course, went on for a long time. Heartache isn't something that just passes, y'know? I'm still not even entirely sure that I'm over her, and it's been over a year and a half since we stopped talking.
So, it's October of 2007 now. She sent me a PM (on Gaia) last night, which I received this morning.
Here's the PM:
Quote:
Pfft...
I...don't expect you to forgive me, hell, I won't be surprised if you hate me but... I just wanted to say sorry. A lot of good one ******** word will do but...hey, it's way over dued, ne?
*Scratches head* this is a little akward, lol.
I'm not expecting anything back but I just thought I should give you what you deserve. I was an a**, what's new? Hehe, I'm not so much of an a** now.
If you want to talk to me, I'd be amazed but it would be welcomed warmly.
I'm just...tired, do you know what I mean? Maybe it's because it's late and maybe it's just because it's like 5 degrees in my house...hmm...where's meh cover...
Guess I'm just delaying, huh? Boredom is a worrysome thing for a human.
Like I said, I'm not expecting anything, not even a message back, but I'm sorry. So whatever good that'll do, there you have it.
Heh, goodbye.
-----Samantha (Do you really need a last name?) Aka FaiNekoi
I...don't expect you to forgive me, hell, I won't be surprised if you hate me but... I just wanted to say sorry. A lot of good one ******** word will do but...hey, it's way over dued, ne?
*Scratches head* this is a little akward, lol.
I'm not expecting anything back but I just thought I should give you what you deserve. I was an a**, what's new? Hehe, I'm not so much of an a** now.
If you want to talk to me, I'd be amazed but it would be welcomed warmly.
I'm just...tired, do you know what I mean? Maybe it's because it's late and maybe it's just because it's like 5 degrees in my house...hmm...where's meh cover...
Guess I'm just delaying, huh? Boredom is a worrysome thing for a human.
Like I said, I'm not expecting anything, not even a message back, but I'm sorry. So whatever good that'll do, there you have it.
Heh, goodbye.
-----Samantha (Do you really need a last name?) Aka FaiNekoi
As you can expect, this is really taking a toll on my emotions. I know Sam, and she's not the type to apologize if she doesn't really mean it. I know that she means it.
But what do I do with this? I don't know if I'm completely over her yet. She's a very important person to me, and I know that I want our friendship back, but I think that's all that I want. In fact, I'm almost positive that friendship is all that I want. I just can't go through this again, you know? It was hard enough the first time around. What if the same thing happens again?
But at the same time, I know that she's sincere, and I want to give her a second chance. But what are her intentions? How do I reply to something like this?
PPG, help me out, please. Any ideas?