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 Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 1:17 am
WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,
'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was
then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced
the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
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Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 6:35 am
he is a good mate of mine
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Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 5:27 pm
Lol, so that's what the Schitt family is about. xd rofl
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 2:59 am
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you.
Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again?
What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:02 pm
joke on this!
A chicken walks up to a duck stood at the side of the road, and says 'Don't do it mate, you'll never hear the end of it!'
KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE?
THE DOCTOR
DOCTOR WHO?
... NO
DOCTOR NO?
KNOCK KNOCK
WHOS THERE?
I EAT MOP
I EAT MOP WHO?
*giggles*
what i dont get it?
*LOLOLOL*
What did the buddist monk say to the hotdog seller?
Make me one with everything.
the monk asked "Hey, where is my change?"
the hotdog seller replied "Ahh, change must come from within."
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Would you like a pint?". Descartes replies "I think not", and disappears
did you hear about what happened to the gay magician?
He disapeared with a poof
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Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:24 pm
The Jack Schitt one was funny. 3nodding
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