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Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:35 pm
This is a poem I wrote, inspired by my own hometown.
Please give constructive criticism, and just tell me what you think!
Hey, ******** welcome to Hell, If you need a hand Just give me a bell.
Arsehole of the world, There's nothing to love, No peace, no order, No help from above, City of the dead, The sun doesn't shine, On this excuse for A town, walk the ********, live and die in this place, Nothing good here, Potential erased.
Hey ******** welcome to hell, This place is no good And all is not well.
You walk through the streets And what do you see? Drugs, violence, gang wars, Arson, robbery, No place for good guys, Screw good intention, This cannot be saved By intervention From God, Jesus, or Anything at all, If you don't like it, Then give me a call.
Hey ******** welcome to hell, Everyone's evil, And no-one will tell.
Murder on the streets, No-one truly cares, No-one would help them, 'cause nobody dares, This is now your life, Can't leave it behind, Because if you do You'll surely find That your mind wanders Back to this bad place, But when you come back, You can't show your face, 'Cause if you do then You really won't last, You gotta be strong, You gotta be fast To live in this town And survive it well, Hey ******** welcome to Hell.
Also, I will reserve a post for any explanation of parts people may not properly understand, and for answers to questions.
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Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:36 pm
Reserved for explanations/answers
domokun
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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:30 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:21 pm
whee ish nice...gonna be a cool song if it happens hehehe 4laugh
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 5:16 am
Wow... Someone actually read this!
Glad you enjoyed it, and also, i've actually offered to let a local band I know use it as a song, when they get enough practice to use original songs... Also offered to write songs for them.
Should be cool, if they take me up on the offer!
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Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:07 am
Very nice... a bit sad..But cool x 800 This could totally be a song I'll buy it!!! blaugh
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Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 8:41 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:21 pm
It's really deep. Full of emotion. I can tell you poured your soul into this poem. You've got talent 3nodding
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