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 Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:36 pm
age:15(young yes i know)
gender:male
posture:laid back
voice:calm
clothes:muramase,red cloak with gold dragon designs,ripped sleeved peasant shirt,long black pants,sandals,bo rai cho jug(has water not beer,wine,ect), and a bead necklace
intellect:wise man
important failures/success:has mastered jeet kun do and jujitsu
wanted by the police for many disturbances
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:52 pm
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:41 pm
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 11:27 am
Its a decent start, but don't you feel that being a "Wise man" implicates that he is older? I boy of just 15, would not be thought of as a wise man at his age. Wise above his years might be a better alternative.
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 12:20 am
There's no need to explain anything in parentheses, really... Age shouldn't really matter.
With his posture... I would describe laid back. "He lets his arms hang loosly by his sides." "He slouches, shuffling across the terrain without a car in the world." Stuff like that.
Instead of simply listing things. It'd be better to let it flow together in long sweeping sentences. "He's adorned in a murmanese, red cloak that sweep the flor as he walk. The golden dragons embroidered, glinting at those who dare to approach." It'll give a better picture as well as make your character more 3D rather than a Mundane 2D character.
Well, how did he get to be so wise? Did he see famine? Did something force him to grow up? If so, what? It's nice to have some background to your character, even if he has amnesia. What's he been doing since then that makes him so wise? What kind of people has he helped?
Where did he learn this from? Who taught him? Why was he learning it in the first place? What did he do to have the police come after him? What were the disturbances? What era is he in? If he's in the modern era, why does he need to learn this stuff? Elaborate on your character, give him background, give him depth. Essentially, make him real.
You have the skeleton, just add the meat, organs, and skin.
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Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:51 am
You don't need to say what kind of voice, posture, or intellect he has. This is done by describing how he says things and what he says. Here's an example:
The young man's eyes stared at you for a moment before he leaned back in his chair, one arm around the back of it, "Well, obviously I can't tell you what to do. That's your job." He then looks away at nothing with a nonchalant expression on his face.
As a reply to Onamisaki, age actually does play a key part in an rp. It helps other players have an idea on how to address your character. If he didn't say his age and I heard his character talk, I would have thought that he was older man because of his wisdom. In which case I could make the mistake of calling out to him, "Hey, wrinkle dude!"
Back to Gero121, you could also add stuff to your character that will paint a picture for the other players. Like his appearance. You described his clothes, but not his face, hair, height, muscular, fat, skinny, or skin. His failures and successes could be replaced with a tidy History and then, if you wanted to, you could tell others where he came from and whatnot.
A character is like a blank canvas and the more relevant information you provide, the more colors you can use.
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