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 Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 4:41 pm
My band director Mr.Hoehn(hane) he said "if you guess you mess" then he said he should put that on a t-shirt with a picture of...(i screamed pineapple) a picture of a clarinet(im a clarinet) we the clarinets were so happy then we realised what he meant it was so mean.in that same day we did a contest between sections it was making up a definition for antiphonos(or something like that) we clrinets said anti phones then it was the percussions turn and they said anti clarinets and Mr.Hoehn laughed and it was so mean
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Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:42 pm
-thinks- hmm................ thats hard, cuz we r always funny lmfao
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Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:04 pm
One of our directors constantly makes crappy jokes (which have now come to be known as Carlson jokes) and the other pretty much as ADD (no offense to those who really do) so he generally says things like "if you play this song good, people will give you a standing ovation and will throw things at you like flowers and babies"
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:19 am
Well sometimes it's more of what Mr. G DOES then what he says
Like one time the percussion ((and me since that's what I play)) were talking during the time when the winds and brass were tuning, and he's like
"FINE. SINCE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE 5TH GRADERS, I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE 5TH GRADERS"
and he separated us. I had to sit by the trashcan. surprised on the floor.
And then during early morning band one day the sunrise looked epic, and suddenly over the longranger there was this weird sort of yodel thing.
And we're all like, "WTF?"
and Mr. G. was like "come on! It's the Lion King you guys!" xd
oh, and then another time, he had this headset on, and when he walks too close to the longranger it makes this really low sort of noise, so everytime that happens we're like "HERE COME THE WHALES"
there's a LOT more but I can't think of anything atm.
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:27 am
OOH.
and when you're back marching, and you go up on your toes? And you have to squeeze your buttcheeks?
Well a while ago we had this guy come and help us, and his phrase for that was "Squeeze the grape!"
Like, how if you put a grape in there squeeze it so it wouldn't fall out etc.
Well we were having problems staying on our toes, and Mr. G was like "HARDER. I WANT TO PUT A QUARTER IN THERE AND GET TWO DIMES AND A NICKEL BACK!!!!" scream
lol Mr. G. Lol.
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 1:56 pm
so in this years show we had to do this knee pop thing and our director had one of the trombones come forward and face us to show us how it's done and our director was like ;I can't see his face but his knees look great."
and I and all my percusionist call him papa G but he brought his dad to one contest and so we called him baby g but then it morphed to bambie G.
His dad told me that he was grandpa g.
and he has this germ killer fluid for when he was going to play brass instruments and he sprayed this one guys baritone and was like "now he's sterile"
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:02 pm
Oh and also pap g's broken like 3 batons while directing so last year we made him a steel one and he cried when we gave it to him. then broke it a week later.
and this one time in choir they were holding a note and the seconds were supposed to be doing something so he was like "sec....." and held it and accidently went :c**t" to finish it and was like gonk and our drum instructor poped his head out of the office with his hand over his mouth and looked in surprise at him and silently went back in
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Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 2:09 pm
Our drum instructors have been funnier than our director mostly. once at camp when we were doing push ups one kd was doing it with his butt in the air and he was like "that's not a push up that's an invitation"
and our new drum guy looks and acts almost exactly like jack black who is his favorite actor. So theres always hilarity thare. Once he had a jones drink and under the cap was a cat, and he was standing behind me and i turned to say something when he lifts the cap at me and goes "meow" then moves to do it to all the percussionist
and this one time he was trying to show us a heel click and he sprained his ankle.
theres so many more, sukomo can probably help with more
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Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:03 am
Today in band while playing synergies papa told the tuba's they sounded like a fat russian runnig through the desert.
then he looked at me and said thats going on the forum rights? I shouldnt have told him about this.
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Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:26 am
oh man Sofie xD
band is amazing with those two
So last summer we had two percussion instructors. One of them took the snares and tenors over to one half of the playground (which we were having percussion pratice on) and our other instructor took the bass drums over to the other side of the playground to pratice. (I'm one of the bases)
So bass drums couldn't get this one part right, so our instructor was like 'okay, lets sit down and clap it'
so we sat down. and clapped it.
And while we were clapping it, I looked over at the other instructor, and he was like, getting all mad at the snares and tenors and yelling at them because they couldnt get the beat.
lol. I'm glad I got the awesome one.
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Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:28 am
Haha and another funny thing that happened at band was during my first year.
There was this girl who played the second bass, and I swear EVERY contest she ran into something when walking with her bass drum on.
One time she hit a flagpole. rofl
And then one time it was a football goal thing.
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Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:01 pm
Oh my gosh. My band teacher is the funniest teacher in the freakin' school. I cannot remember every funny thing he has said. There were too many moments. I'll name a few...
Some people in my class were having trouble with their trombones. Well, it had to do with their slides. Our teacher goes "You could play without your slide!" He plays a song, just using his mouth piece. Then he says "Screw the slide, I don't need it!"
One time, when I couldn't hit really, really high notes and my teacher goes "You're not trying. You're afraid of your horn! It's like you're too scared to walk down an alley, 'cause you're scared your french horn will come out and beat you up!"
I could go on and on, but I won't. smile
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Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 5:11 am
My teacher will call out people on things they do wrong. She'll be talking and say everyone has to stay dressed, (insert name). Oh, I'm sorry! I don't know how these things slip. But make sure you bring your music, (insert name). And the kids just know its coming.
EDIT: She was saying that we had to play the song sad. Then one kid said something about how to be sad that was a joke, so the bd said to him "If you wanna be sad just look in a mirror!"
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 2:59 pm
Hartmetz: J.R.! Stand up! I'm not yelling at Robbie to stand up since he's got that casty thingy on his foot. You've gotta play your shaker in time, though! Once I tried to pick up a shaker in a rock band and after a while I got tired and started slowing down, and the entire band started falling apart and I realized: 'Oh crap I'm so tired but I can't stop because then they'll crash and burn but I'm too tired to stay in time!'
Hartmetz: Well, I could hear TWO trombones that time instead of just Molly...I wonder what that chord would sound like with all FOUR of them? :0
Hartmetz: NO! Lele! You have to bring your clarinet DOWN, and OPEN UP YOUR SOUND. You sound fuzzy! Don't make me tie your clarinet to your leg again.
Hartmetz: This song is weird. It's in 2/4 but that one part sounds like it's in 4 against 5.
Skyelar: Like Tricycle?
Hartmetz: No, that was...that was just 5/4. o_o
Ben: I don't like Tricycle, my part was so boring.
Hartmetz: Oh, well, nevermind then. Ben doesn't have an interesting part, so we're NOT ever going to play it EVER again. :l
Ben: -_-
Us: XD
Hartmetz: Paul, you're fired.
Paul (who had a cast on one hand): What? o_o
Hartmetz: You're fired. Go sit over there. You're not going to be at festival, so you can't play with us today. You can finger along with your...crippled hand, though.
Hartmetz: Whoa. WHOA. Ryan was WRONG? At PIANO? Oh my god, I've witnessed a miracle!
Hartmetz: Okay, any more questions?
Catherine: Yes!
Hartmetz: Damn.
Us: WHAT. LOL.
Hartmetz: ...I was discussing hydroelectric power with Matt. >>
Matt: What? >>
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Who is Puffer Fish Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 4:28 pm
My band teacher Mr.Hungerford cracks retarded jokes at every one of our concerts about him losing his camouflage pants. stare
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