Welcome to Gaia! ::

I know this feeling so well. The thing about friends and family is that they've probably been activists for the rights of gays and bisexuals "out there," a nebulous, faceless group. It's one thing to think that "they" need equal rights, and another to think that "we," a member of "our" group, is one of these people.

Too, lot of people still equate being gay or bisexual with sexuality -- with having actual sex -- and your friends may think "Oh, he's bisexual. That means he's had sex with a guy and with a girl!" I know the world isn't what it was twenty years ago, but they may still be a little weirded out by the idea of someone in their very own peer group having sex at all. They need to be taught, gently, that being gay or bi may include sex, but isn't based entirely on sex. Yes, there's attraction. Strong attraction, probably. But it's also about who you want to hold hands with, spend time with, share dreams with, be tender and loving with. Being bisexual isn't about being slutty (sexually irresponsible), but about being drawn to people for their kindness and intelligence rather than SOLELY for what's on the outside. It's about letting your feelings for another person's attitude encourage you to be physically drawn to them, rather than shutting half of the human race away from the chance to become part of your heart.

Remind your straight male friends that they're not attracted to every single girl they consider a friend, just like you're not attracted to every single girl or guy that you consider a friend. It's not an insult that you're not into them. You're attracted to having friendship with them, not romance.

Finally, while you've had a few months or years to become self-aware, they're only hearing it for the first time. Remember how freaked out you were, the first time you felt you might not actually be what you'd always assumed you were? That's how freaked out they are now. If you've been out to yourself for six months or so, give them six months to adjust, then check back in. Remind them that it's only because you trust them and care about them that you've let them see into this portion of your psychological anatomy (or, you know, say something that doesn't sound as dorky as what I just said). You didn't tell them sooner because you weren't sure at first, and then were waiting for a suitable time. You weren't keeping the secret to hurt them, and you didn't come out just to shock them.

And good luck to you. My heart goes out to any young person who's got something strong inside themselves that other people aren't yet ready to understand.

It's majority vs. minority. Ignorance, the way you're brought up, fear, the media, and things like that. It'll diminish soon enough, just give it time.

I believe that gay marriage is like any other. It's the union between two people who love each other. Marriage in itself is just a ceremony, that is put down on paper, stating that these two people have now made a promise to be together and take care of each other for the rest of their lives. Marriage makes union concrete i guess. Personally I find the ceremony (and the after party) what makes the "big day" so special. I mean who wouldn't want to dress up and be with their lover and their lover's family, and party?
I myself have yet to fall in love so I don't exactly know what it's like to go through with that. But I believe (looking at it from a Christian point of view) that if God loves all people, he would love us, no matter what.

ps. sorry if I'm missed the earlier posts and am late in the conversation sweatdrop

I've got a question, I've got this gay "friend"

We hung out last summer some, but not much. We stopped hanging out when he told me he liked me and now he keeps asking me why we don't hang out anymore. I'm NOT gay and lost all respect and trust for him. I just don't know what to say to him.

I return the question to you:

-Why did you lose trust and respect for him? (other than the obvious: he is homosexual, but why does that affect you, is the question I'm getting at, here.)

-Please acknowledge that your friend had a lot of strength to (1) admit he was gay and (2) actually tell you he liked you. He probably put some thought in to the matter and thought it was best to be completely honest. Not only admire his strength but appreciate the honesty that came with it.

-Although I can't change or tell you how to change your views, I think you need some exposure to how many LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) people there are. Skim through this forum, through all the realities of discovering if one is LGBT and how to live in a society that looks down on LGBT people, and realize this is a SMALL SAMPLE of how many LGBT people there are. I know I'm redundant, but I think most people who don't like or don't accept LGBT, are most likely very sheltered to these sexual orientations and the lifestyles they entail.

I say you are just a tad bit narrow-minded, I think it was really cruel to your friend that you've known for years to suddenly act like you don't know him just because he's gay.