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Well i have about text book and a half to study. After tonight I will be unable to reply except when im on to contribute something.


[ I was actually going to add a poem for the my hundred themes project, but I didnt quite find the poem at par with what i wanted when I looked over it again, so i scraped it. ][Man is theme three giving me trouble -_- ]

Oh dear, where to begin?

--it will be explained why the mercheiftain knows crap.
--I have not yet finished.
--the races all speak the same language.
--I'm sorry you have to read the book in pieces, but when I'm published you won't. Patience.
--it actually does have a plot. The queen thing and the Raena thing is one bit of the real story going on, and the end of chapter seven is another. Also, the mysterious Marli-to-Everan gift of some sort, wink *winkwink*, the kids hating them, the chosen book, Marli's language and foreigner issues, and Pilori are all little elements I've added. The happiness and cuteness is to lull you into a false sense of security before I shatter it all in about five paragraphs. whee
--you don't like their rambling dialogue? Too bad. THAT is how people speak. that is how THEY speak. Get used to it. When you have a person who knows everything that keeps most info to himself, and another person who doesn't know anything and is full of questions, such choppy, expansive dialogue will ensue. And plus, they're kids. Kids chatter. Do you want to hear their thoughts or not?

You don't have the patience to sit through the next chapter, when the plot begins? Then there's no use being in my topic, is there? *shoos* off you go, forever plagued by what might have been, and if you tell people that my book has no plot and therefore sucks when I am famous I will stalk and then axe-murder you. evil

OR, you can stay, free from my eternal scorn and enmity, and free from wondering just what my plot is. Not all readers have ADD, you know.

(Sorry, pissed off. I'll add more tonight if I get much further...which I think I will. >.< )

-I KNOW how people speak, Im just not to interested in the entire thing layed out for me. You could paraphrase with just as much efectiveness.

So no i dont care about their thoughts. I would much rather have all that summed up into one or two chapters so I wouldnt get bored of it so fast, and that way you can get right to the plot.

Ii'll have you know that ADD has nothing to do with my getting bored with your book- It's because too little happens in to lengthy a read. I tell you this will not suffice with the average reader.

ADD has to do with focus on a single subject, Not interest in it. I can still be interested in something and trail off in my own thoughts for a few moments.

And for the lovagawd kirbs a plot is a main sequence of events in a story. Everything else is just the prologue ( and maybe the intro, if that doesnt send you right off into the story. ) ( oh and note the word MAIN used here)

[i suppose im off though, hehe oh well.]

very well then. Why don't you show me exactly how they should talk, and at least tell me how "humans" should act?

I should note that these humans and elves have been adapting for 7000+ years under entirely different circumstances, and they're Ametrisan. Ametrisans don't know ANYTHING. Sirtemans are more realistic.

you should have elaborated on that throughout the book whenever it came up. I canat show you I can only tell you how people will be expected to act and that list is quite long. It deals with every observation you can make that concerns human interaction.


You should be safe, as im almost certain i stated before hand, if you explain EVERYTHING. somethings may be paraphrased and other things may be listed through visual observation. But i dont really have time for this. Theres a few things but again you dont seem very interested in the tedium of my reasoning.

awhh im sorry kirbs : (

Its not that i mean to be mean im just used to the perfectionist idealogy. Im extremly rigorous on myself, you see. What's worse, Ive never really cared about my image. In-fact, between you and me- im almost entirly convinced that my nonchalent, and indifernt aditude ( which was mostly made u of smart rebuttles and nutralizing come backs,) single handedly ended name calling In my grade.

of course i havent much evidence to prove it, but I recall there being a lot of name calling and i cant recall there being anymore of it since my nutralization techniqe.

oh well though,
Sorry again kirbs.

im hard on myself and thus -sub concsiously- im hard on others who occupy the same feild as I do.

thats all you need to know. Im sorry, I didn't say that your story sucked by the way, just that I thought you needed to revise it from its current condition. ( I guess i sorta gave off that vibe though. sorry, I think the ADD thing sorda got to me)

Good writers cant make crappy stories they can only make rough drafts until the story is up to par.

Everything still stands, but im not saying that it doesnt have the potential to become a good story, just that It's too drawn out now.

I would suggest trying to find new ways to introduce everything so that all the inital events are a little more compresed.

but thats only if you want to take my word for it. I also suggest going over it to see what you can cut out and what you can add.

again just me though.