Welcome to Gaia! ::

“She looks just like you. You have the same fro.”
- Who’s Your Daddy?

“Pretentiousness is hereditary. Just because they haven’t found the gene yet…”
- Who’s Your Daddy

“Unless Chase broke his neck falling off his polo pony, he had no reason to be in the ER.”
- Forever

“I ask you, is almost dying any excuse for not being fun?”
- Forever

“Oh, Level Three. Have you called Jack Bauer?”
- Euphoria, Part 2

Wilson : “You’re accessing a webcam?”
House: “Cuddy’s shower. You a fan of the Brazilian?”
- Euphoria, Part 2

“Everybody’s great when they’re half-dead.”
- Euphoria, Part 1

“No, if you talk to God you’re religious. If God talks to you, you’re psychotic.”
- House vs. God

“Gotta hand it to Foreman, though. He knew you were a suck up and I don’t give a crap. He successfully exploited us both.”
- Sleeping Dogs Lie

“Hey! How’s that a**l fissure? Did it heal yet, or is it still draining? Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d come back for seconds. I figure after that girl in the stairwell, you’d be done for the night.”
- All In

“Awesome. A sex fiend with a swollen tongue. Think of all the places I can make Foreman search.”
- Clueless

Wilson – “How'd you get here?”
House – “By osmosis.”
- Skin Deep

“Catfight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.”
- Skin Deep

Cameron – “What are you looking for?”
House – “Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return in investment.”
- Distractions

Cameron – “Could pain medication cause an orgasm?”
House – “I wish.”
- Distractions

“Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.”
- Need to Know

Chase – “We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine.”
House – “I teach you to lie and cheat and steal and the second my back is turned you wait in line!”
- Failure to Communicate

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen

I don't remember..which episode that was from..but I know I laughed. lol

Season 3

"Is this an intervention? You're a little late, since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics."
- Cane and Able

"She was being metaphorical. She was trying to sound like me. I have no idea what you meant, but I could smell what the Rock was cooking."
- Cane and Able

"Why don't I have high-def in my office? I'm a department head."
-Cane and Able

Cuddy: "Why did you."
House: "Why does a dog lick its workplace-acceptable euphemism for testicles?"
- Meaning

"Oh, I stuck that primo! How rad am I?"
- Meaning

Cameron: "You're lucky he didn't die."
House: "I'm lucky? He's the one who didn't die."
- Meaning

House: You guys look like crap! What were you doing all night?
Cameron: Jello shots and wild sex. What else?

(wow, been like forever since I've been in here... sweatdrop )

"I know you're in there. I can hear you caring."

"We've got rectal bleeding."
"What, all of you?"

"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is in fact a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."

"I'm too handsom to do paperwork."

House gives clinic duty to other dude who pisses off patient who complains to cuddy. Cuddy tells House to apologize because she thinks he did the clinic duty. He walks by the lady, 'accidentally' ramming her toe with his cane. He looks like a poor helpless thing. He starts to apologize with cuddy looking through a window. The lady 'forgives' him and cuddy thinks he apologized for what he did (when he didn't do anything but skip clinic).

lol i love that part. or when house was in the garage and said If i give up the girl can i have my carpet back.....(no) if i give up my carpet can i have her!

random guy who shot house- i want you to suffer
House- *turns down random guy's morphine*
random guy- *moan*