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 Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:22 am
Scenario
Hayate and Hayabusa have noticed a trend amongst some fanboys/fangirls: they wanna be ninja. As such, they've prepared a short message for everyone with aspirations of joining the League of Shadows, the calns that Guy and Maki are from, and all that. 3nodding
Cognizance (note): If you're having trouble reading, highlight to see Hayate's lines.
Hayate: Hey, what's up? wink I'm Hayate from the popular 3D fighting franchise Dead or Alive.
Hayabusa: And I'm Ryu Hayabusa, from the same franchise. smile
Hayate: But you know what? We're not here today as world famous characters created by an egomaniac who likes to stay on top.
Hayabusa: That right, Hayate. We're here to talk to you as friends. 3nodding
Hayate: Here in the Dead or Alive universe, we poke fun at the shinobi lifestyle -
Hayabusa: [aside to Hayate] We do?? So all that training was for nothing?! I had to f*ckin' ride a kite during a monsoon! Lightning struck my *a***! My *a***! I *still* can't sit down without some type of cushion! gonk
Hayate: [to Hayabusa] What are you screaming about? I'm talking about in the games, dumbass. stare
Hayabusa: Oh... I was go ballistic for a second. [muttering] Have me f*ckin' get *my* a** whooped twenty times by the Tengu for no reason...
Hayate: [agitated] Will you just read your lines?! scream
Hayabusa: Whatever, man. Anyway, the weapons and attacks that we use in the Dead or Alive series may seem like props or stunts, but let us tell you; they aren't. Some of your friends may find it "cool" to take a pair of Kris' to school, but each year - [arrow whizzes past hayabusa's head, clipping his hair a tad; looks at direction where arrow was shot] What the Hell... Kasumi?! Goddammit! scream
Hayate: [screaming] Hey! We're trying to do something over here! Don't make me take away your Cookie Crisp again! scream
Kasumi: [off-screen; distant] Hey Ryu! Y'all suck; kunoichi pwn! blaugh
Hayate: [angered; walks heavy towards Kasumi's location] Oh, oh, oh, I see you! I see you, you little - [trails off]
Hayabusa: [continuing] Anyway, your friends may also ind it "cool" to go on stake-outs every night carrying twenty-five pounds of C4 in his/her back pocket, but - [another arrow whizzes past Hayabusa; crouches] Goddammit!
Kasumi: [still off-screen] Almost gotcha with that one, chump! whee
Hayate: [running stage left to stage right] Oh, oh, that's it! The f*ck my sword at?! scream
Hayabusa: [afraid] And remember kids, violence is never the answer! [two more arrows whiz past; a third is fired and hits] Ahh, my a**! Motherf-... gonk
Kasumi: Oooh, I bet that one hurt! twisted
The above was a spoof of sorts of the Red vs. Blue WMD PSA made by Rooster Teeth productions. All rights reserved. End 3:16.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:41 pm
Imagine Ein, Zack, and Helena singing "C.R.E.A.M." by the Wu-Tang Clan with Ein doing the first verse, Zack doing the second, and Helena singing the chorus.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:51 pm
Hayabusa: I wonder why I just don't take out my sword and kill every opponent. Then get the prize money and dissapear like a ninga would.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:51 pm
Ruffin316 Imagine Ein, Zack, and Helena singing "C.R.E.A.M." by the Wu-Tang Clan with Ein doing the first verse, Zack doing the second, and Helena singing the chorus. that would be funny. I like that song.
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 10:44 pm
Gen Fu: [After defeating Tengu] Ahah! now I can finally take this nose and save..... ew.... I'm not touching that thing.... screw my sibling.... that's just.... oh god.... wtf is that thing anyways?!?
Hayate: [Talking to Ryu] Hey man.... have you... ever like questioned why we're here?
Ryu: What do you mean?
Hayate: Well I mean like... why we're fighting all these people like this? I mean... I find it kind of degrading.... I'd rather be a lawyer or a... a cop... wouldn't you?
Ryu: Dude.... what have you been smoking?
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:09 pm
Jann Lee: ALL HAIL THE HOLY SOCK ALL HAIL THE HOLY SOCK
Ryu: Dude wtf are you doing
Jann Lee: STARE INTO THE SOCK!!!
*Jann Lee rubs a sock in Ryu's face*
Ryu: The sock.....it commands me......to kill all humans!!
Jann Lee: WHAT!?! the sock told me to worship him
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:45 pm
Hello again. blaugh twisted
Scenario
The Christmas holiday at Lisa's place! whee Unfortunately, not everyone could make it this time, namely the mercenaries - Leon, Bayman, and Christie - and for some odd reason, Hayate has gone missing again. Oh well thought the others; the show must go on!
[Hayabusa and Zack are standing right outside of Lisa's house - which happens to be of the Victorian style - running checks on the lights that Kasumi strung up around the complex. Originally, Hayabusa was stringing up the lights, but a misfooting caused him to be tangled in said lights not unlike that of a fly in a spiderweb. Zack *still* can't get the image out of his head... and that was about a good two hours ago.]
Hayabusa: For the last time, no... I was *not* pretending to be Spider-Man again, for crying out loud. stare
Zack: [laughing] Really? You coulda fooled me, especially when you slammed into the side o' the house like that. "Hayabusa-ninja away!" my a**! rofl
Hayabusa: I'm gonna go Hayabusa-ninja on *your* a** if you don't shut up... :X
Zack: Is that right?
Hayabusa: Lemme put it like this... remember the Dragon Hill?
Zack: Yeah... what about it?
Hayabusa: You ever been knocked down to the bottom floor?
Zack: Hell yeah! I was fightin' Leon and threw me off! It f*ckin' sucked! gonk
Hayabusa: Izuna-Otoshi... you're a big boy; I'm sure you can add. twisted
Zack: eek [pauses] sweatdrop
Hayabusa: Anyway... [to Kasumi] Yo, Kasumi-chan! You almost done?
Kasumi: Almost... okay... here it goes...
[Kasumi cuts on the multi-colored christmas lights. The lights illuminate vividly while Kasumi gracefully goes to check out her decorating expertise. Hayabusa, however, looks a little less than pleased with the outcome.]
Zack: That looks perfect! whee [to Hayabusa] Merry Christmas, dawg. 3nodding
Hayabusa: Perfect?! neutral That looks like crap! Half the lights are burned out!
Zack: I mean "perfect" by *our* standards.
Hayabusa: Gah, this sucks. stare
Zack: Yo, that ain't the holiday spirit, Ryu! sad
Hayabusa: [to Zack] Holidays? Holidays are about snow, family, and big-a** 50-pound ham; not a bunch of busted-a** lights and drinking Tina's "special" eggnog out of an old Pepsi bottle.
Hitomi: [from inside] Uh, thank you, Miss Armstrong, but really, I *don't* want to know what the secret ingredient is! gonk
Zack: [to Hayabusa] Yo, Christmas is about more than ya own wanton needs.
Kasumi: Yeah! You should be thinking about people less fortunate than you... and that makes you feel good, because those suckers are chumps... and who wants to be a chump?
Zack: Nobody! Chumps're a bunch o' punks. 3nodding
Hayabusa: Okay. What about the guys who couldn't be here this season, like the mercs and Hayate-kun? Don't y'all remember last year with Bass? It was swell. whee
Kasumi: Miss Hayate?! neutral I know he's my brother and I love him to death, but do *you* remember last year?
Memory 1
Kasumi and Ayane are standing in front of a small tree relatively unknown to the others. It's sparsely decorated with random ornaments that were lying around.
Kasumi: [to Ayane] Here it is, Ayane. I know it isn't much but it's ours. Merry Christmas. blaugh
Ayane: [breathtaken] ...Oh, neesan! whee [hugs Kasumi]
[A loud shatter disrupts the quiet, heartful moment between the two kunoichi. They break the embrace and look around to see what happened. By putting two and two together to make twelve, they find Hayate on Bass's chimney with a handful of shuriken and Hayabusa idly spectating.]
Ayane: Ah, what the Hell...!
Kasumi: Hey! scream
Hayate: [to Ayane and Kasumi] Oops! Looks like you lost your ornaments there, freaks. I guess this year instead of "Ho, ho, ho!", it's just "Ho, ho!". [takes out another ornament] Unh! In your mouth, Strider Hiryu!
Kasumi: [screaming, to Hayate] Cut that out, a*****e! scream
Hayate: Ha ha! Now you only got one "Ho"!
Hayabusa: [pauses; to Hayate] Yo, I wish I only had one ho -
Hayate: [to Hayabusa] Oh, shut the f*ck up, Ryu! stare
Hayabusa: What? That was gonna be funny!
Memory 2
Hitomi and Leifang are outside making a snowman... to no avail. Hayate is just standing around chuckling at the girls' misfortunes and listening to Hitomi ramble on about meeting Santa Claus.
Hitomi: ...and this year, I'm gonna ask Santa for... a pony... and a cowgirl-suit like Miss Armstrong's. mrgreen
Hayate: [to Hitomi] Uh, I think there are a few things about Santa you should know about. Check it... [whispering to Hitomi; Leifang watches]
Hitomi: [incredulous] No...! surprised
Hayate: [still whispering] ...yeah, he used to be a chick...
Hitomi: eek [pauses] Noooooooooooooo... crying [runs away crying]
Hayate: [calling to Hitomi] Hey, where're ya going? If you really want a pony, I got something to put down your throat! That might make you a little "horse"! [turns to se Leifang's angry face] What're you staring at? :Stare:
Memory 3
Despite their differences - and smack talk - Jann Lee and Zack have made amends. Now for the hard part...
Jann Lee: Yo Ein-er... Hayate. I need your help...
Hayate: [thinking] Why am I not surprised? rolleyes [speaking] What's up?
Jann Lee: I can't figure out what to get Zack. You know him better than I do...
Hayate: Christmas is in... [glances at clock] what's that... 3 hours, you a**. stare
Jann Lee: I know that. If you wait 'till the last second, you get all the really good deals. 3nodding
Hayate: Ah, just get everybody the same thing; that's what I do.
Jann Lee: Let me guess... everyone's getting a lump of coal, right? stare
Hayate: [appalled] F*ck no! scream You know how much coal costs?! It's like five bucks a ton! I'm not spending that much on you losers! evil You're all getting a lump of smoal.
Jann Lee: The Hell is smoal? neutral
Hayate: Is a knock-off sythetic coal; just as good as the real thing... except when you burn it, it doesn't make any heat, just smoke... sweatdrop
Jann Lee: [flabbergasted] ...The f*ck?! How does it make smoke with no heat?!
Hayate: The f*ck should I know?! Ask the fine makers of "Smoal"... 3nodding
Memory 4
For a while, Hayabusa tried to look for a present for Hayate with little to no results. But now, Hayabusa has finally found one. He hopes that Hayate will like it...
Hayabusa: Well, old buddy, it hasn't been the best holiday, but I think I finally found the perfect gift for you...
Hayate: I thought we agreed not to get each other anything this year, Ryu... stare
Hayabusa: [incredulous] No we didn't!
Hayate: Hmmm... I guess I'm mistaken...
Hayabusa: Mistaken, deez nuts! scream You speciafically told me to get you something!
Hayate: neutral
Hayabusa: You gave a catalog with s**t circled in it! scream
Hayate: neutral
Hayabusa: You set a budget for me between $300 and $350! scream
Hayate: neutral
Hayabusa: stare [pauses] F*ck you, man; I'm keeping it.
Hayate: [chiding] Ryu... isn't Christmas the time for - [looks out window] Holy s**t! Ninja Santa! surprised
Hayabusa: eek [runs to window; sees nothing; turns to see both Hayate and gift absent] Motherf-... he gets me every year. gonk
Present
Hayabusa: You know what? Now that you mention it, I think it's better that Hayate-kun *isn't* with us this year. stare
Kasumi: Yup. Christmas is the one day of the year when you should never miss Hayate-niisan. 3nodding
Hayate: [in distance] Ahh, forget it, numbnuts! You're all still getting lumps of smoal! scream
Kasumi: ...Kusa... stressed
The above is a spoof of sorts of the Red vs. Blue Christmas PSA made by Rooster Teeth Productions. All rights reserved. End 3:16.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 2:23 pm
Hayate: Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!!
Kasumi: Oh no Mike Jones brainwashed Hayate!!
Jann Lee: I told you Mike Jones is trying to make an army to take over the world!!!!
Zack: Just like your mom oooooooooooooooooh dis!
Jann Lee: Dude f u
Zack: You wanna take this outside?
Jann Lee: We are outside!
Zack: Ok then
*Zack and Jann Lee begin to fight*
*elsewhere*
Tina: All according to plan
Mike Jones: You forgot to say Mike Jones your fired!!!
Tina: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Tina's head explodes*
Mike Jones: Leon your promoted to whatever position she was
Leon: You mean courtesan? Mike Jones!!
Mike Jones: No her other position
Leon: Ah you mean the guy that acts like he's the person in charge but really someone else is pulling the strings, Mike Jones!!
Mike Jones: Yea that, they should really make a name for it
*Bayman busts the door down*
Bayman: This is special agent Solid Bayman and your all gonna die!!!
Solid Snake: Bayman......stick to your given codename
Bayman:yes sir..........this is special agent.......IRON BAYMAN....get it? it rhymes with Iron Maiden, like that cool metal band
Solid Snake: Bayman stressed
Bayman: fine....this is special agent.......Teddybear.....Bayman
Solid Snake: there we go ok time to kill these guys
*they look foward and see that Leon and Mike Jones have left already*
Solid Snake: I blame you for this
Kasumi: BUT YOU STILL DIDN'T UNHYPNOTISE HAYATE YET!!
Hayate: Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!! Mike Jones!!
*Solid Snake shoots Hayate in the head with his M4 rifle*
Solid Snake: problem solved
Kasumi: NOOOOOOOO!!!!
Hayate: Hey I'm not dead
Bayman: How the hell did you survive a bullet wound in the head?
Hayate: I had another continue see...
*Hayate points down at the Continue Bar*
Bayman: It says you have 15 continue's left, so does that mean if I kill you, you wont die?
Hayate: Well duh
Bayman: Okay then....
*Bayman pulls out a giant full automatic rifle and fires at Hayate*
Bayman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! I FEEL LIKE RAMBO!!
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:04 pm
Zack: Women are like Voltron; the more you can hook up, the better it gets. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:25 pm
[Location: Uhh... somewhere. stressed ]
New Charecter from Halo: *enters room*
Ryu: xd Hey, buddy, I think you're a little lost.
New Charecter from Halo: This is the Dead or Alive tournament, right? I'm in the right place!
Ryu: What?! But -- Aw, s**t. gonk This is so lame. I'm gonna have a word with Xbox... stressed *grabs his sword and walks offstage*
Kasumi: *runs by in background* Ha ha ha! twisted
Hayate: *runs after Kasumi* Hey! Get back here with Mr. Snugglepuff! scream
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:42 pm
Bayman: [some random location, while talking to Leon] Dunananananananana BAYMAN!!!!!!
Leon: Dude... that is so lame, where do you get this lame stuff anyways?!?!
Bayman: [looking stunned] What you thought that was lame?!?! it's going to be my new like opening phrase. You know, when we come into battle we say some weird thing to eachother, well when I come in I'll from now on be saying duna nuna nuna nuna BAYMAN!!! except in japanese....
Leon: ..... I'm just gunna.... leave now [walks off]
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 10:38 am
Kakashi-the best ninga Hayabusa: I wonder why I just don't take out my sword and kill every opponent. Then get the prize money and dissapear like a ninga would. Just thought I would let you know, that Ninja is spelled N-I-N-J-A not N-I-N-G-A.
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My Ch3m1cal R0manc3 Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 8:29 pm
any character: hey lets have one of those Halo people come to our game evil scream
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 12:56 pm
Hello again. whee
Hayabusa: [in a tree] Hmmm... [takes sword and cuts off tree branch; examines] How much is it...?
Hayate: [sees Hayabusa in a tree; calling] Yo, Ryu! You all right there? You look a little... lost. neutral
Hayabusa: [to Hayate] Hm? Oh, hey. I'm just thinking about something...
Hayate: Ryu, I told you before; it's because there's tons of cinnamon sugar in every bite -
Hayabusa: [interrupting] Not that! Something else...
Hayate: I take it it involves that tree branch you're holding...
Hayabusa: [whistful] Yeah... I mean.. do *you* know how much it could be?
Hayate: How much could be what? question
Hayabusa: How much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I can't figure it out to save my life. gonk
Hayate: [pauses] ...Ryu, I only have one thing to say to that...
Hayabusa: What? question
Hayate: Crack kills. Remember that.
Hayabusa: neutral Uh... okay... but I still wonder...
Hayate: [sighs] I know you do, Ryu. I know.
End 3:16
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 3:49 pm
Bass: do these spandex make my butt look big?
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