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 Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:57 pm
He looked a little surprised by the ready agreement, but also pleased, and Chance smiled at Otto as he began the walk back to the dormitory building. It wasn't really cold out so much as it was windy, and he was grateful once they were inside, Chance lifting a hand to flatten down his windswept curls.
Up in the trainee hallway, Chance led Otto back to Room 196, digging in his pocket for a moment to retrieve the key. He unlocked it, stepped inside, and left the door open for Otto to follow, sliding his coat off and tossing it over the back of the chair.
The papers were still on the floor, but he hastily swept them closer to the desk, Chance getting down on his hands and knees to reach under the bed. A second later, a mostly full bottle of bourbon was extracted, along with a few plastic cups he'd gotten the last time he wanted to drink with someone else.
"Make yourself comfortable," he said with a smile, sitting down on the bed and scooting until his back was against the wall, one leg crossed over the other.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:05 pm
Otto walked inside with Chance, closing the door behind them both with his foot. Setting down his bags on the bed, he himself joined Chance, sitting crossed legged on the other side. He poked through the bag with the books, just to remind himself of the fun reads he had to look forward to. He was only a little worried about the bourbon. It looked like hard stuff. Heaven forbid he got wasted and passed out on poor Chance's floors, drooling and half his body still somehow attached to the edge of his bed. It could happen. "Fancy place to keep your booze." He said aloud, "Fraid someone'll find it?"
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:10 pm
Chance uncapped the bourbon and poured a small amount into one of the cups, waiting until Otto had gotten himself comfortable before he held it out to him. His own bag of books had been deposited just beside the bed (he'd wound up getting the Go the ******** to Sleep after all, just for kicks and giggles), and now he curled one leg beneath him, relaxing back with his own cup.
"Well, I do leave my door open most of the time," said Chance lightly, taking a sip. The alcohol burned pleasantly down his throat, and he lowered the cup. "Well...I mean, I used to leave it unlocked, because I didn't have much in here that was worthwhile stealing, plus I enjoy company when it comes."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:23 pm
Otto took the cup, looking it over before taking a swig. He felt the burn of it go through him, sedating him as it always did. "Don't leave it unlocked anymore?" He asked idly, "To protect the bourbon?" It was half a joke.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:26 pm
He half smiled, glancing down at his own cup and watching the amber colored liquid swirl around inside of it.
"Not the bourbon, no," said Chance with a little laugh. "Okay, maybe, I mean, it is good booze. But I do have my telescope in here now, and, well..."
He trailed off a little, giving a slightly wry smile to Otto.
"Haven't really been feeling myself for a bit now, as you've seen." One hand gestured lamely to the papers on the floor, the lack of organization in the room.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:47 pm
"No need to rush it, neither." Otto murmured from experience. "It sucks feeling like that, but let it sit." He took another quick swig, not wanting to let the taste linger on his tongue. "If there's one thing I'm learnin' it's that sometimes you cant fix yourself. Gotta let things go, and figure it out along the way." And hopefully not drag anyone down along the way. If locking his doors and scrapping paper didn't help, what would? He didn't know. No one did. Problems from within were tricky business.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 5:51 pm
He blew out a breath of air that ruffled his curls, Chance sliding down the wall a little until he was mostly slumped in his seat, legs drawn up partly beneath him. "Good thing I've never really been a rushing anything kinda guy," he said, with a slight smile.
Chance lifted his cup and took another swallow.
"Well," he said, "If all else fails, I at least still have some people here that I like to hang with, even if I'm not good at this whole friend s**t. Sometimes the best course of action is no course of action. Or something. You just do what you can with what you've got."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 6:36 pm
"Wing it." There was no other way to do it. Otto led his decisions based on mood and emotion. But how did Chance do it? How did he find his way through interactions if he claimed not to have a grasp of emotions? He took another swig. A long one.
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 6:46 pm
Chance's brows rose in mild amusement. He lifted his cup and downed the last bit of the bourbon, reaching for the bottle to refill it.
"It would be easier," he said with a sigh, "if I ******** knew how to be..."
He made a noise that sounded like it might be of annoyance. "Every time I think I've got a grasp on something, someone else comes and tells me that I've made a mistake. Or that I'm looking down on people, this isn't the first time I've been told that I'm condescending or that I view people as lab rats, when all I'm trying to do is figure out what the ******** to do myself."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:05 pm
"I don't think you are." Otto murmured. "You ain't condescending. Not that I seen so far." Maybe he didn't know him any better yet. Maybe his judgement was skin deep. After all, they'd not had any kind of conflict between them. Only pleasantness. No disagreements. Not yet. "No one knows.. how to be themselves. So we just do. I think." He held out his cup, a silent suggestion for more drink. "I question myself a lot. Why do I do this, why do I like that. But there's no answer, so... just keep goin', I guess. Until the answer is a little more clear."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:12 pm
Otto's affirmation to the contrary made him relax, just a little. At least one person remained under the belief that he wasn't actively trying to treat people like lab experiments. A faint smile touched Chance's lips, and he held out the bottle, refilling Otto's cup.
"I think it's one of those things," he said, setting the bourbon onto the desk next to him once both of their drinks were properly refilled. "Where we just have to like, learn to...just do instead of over thinking everything. I mean, I'm a ******** curious as hell kinda guy, and I want to know the answer to everything, but it's not always gonna be right in front of you."
He shrugged a little, taking another swallow of alcohol, feeling pleasantly warm. "That's the point of experimenting and exploring and just doing s**t, right? To find the answers to questions you don't know."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:25 pm
Otto nodded, hunched over and tapping at his plastic cup. "If you ain't allowed to live life your way, and experiment and figure s**t out by trial and error.. then there's a lot of other people who ought not to live the way they do neither. They hurt people, and make people unhappy or uncomfortable on purpose." "I think.. as long as you really feel like you're doin' the right thing? Or at least doin' it as best you can.. what's the harm? We make mistakes doin' s**t right or wrong. Don't matter. Good intentions ain't always all that uhm.. beneficial." "I don't think you meant to hurt nobody. So don't beat yerself up."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:30 pm
He was probably drinking too fast to be good, but the alcohol tasted good; a nice belt after a delicious meal was always something to be respected, Chance thought. And while he wasn't drunk yet, the bourbon did give him a nice, placid sort of feeling, a pleasant buzz.
"I don't," he said, shaking his head; and something akin to confusion passed across his pale face unexpectedly, Chance tilting sideways to lean his head against the wall, his cup cradled in his hands.
"I don't mean to hurt anyone," he said quietly. "I think I might have, this time, but it was just arrogance on my part. But ******** if I ever do s**t like that on purpose, I watched all of my mother's exes do that type of s**t, and I never wanted to be that way."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:37 pm
"Then don't be." He murmured, as if it were so simple. He knew better, but it just seemed easier for it to be simple. It was hard to really help. He didn't know most of anything Chance was worried about. Hints and the like was all he had. "We learn from mistakes, right?" It was easier to give advice than receive it, even if he felt he wasn't any good at giving it. He was acting on impulse; the dulling burn of alcohol keeping him calm and placid. "Mistakes don't define you."
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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2015 7:44 pm
It was so simple to say, so simple when it was said out loud.
Then don't be.
If only it was that easy not to be. Chance ran a hand over his face and tossed back the last of his cup, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "I seem to recall saying the same thing to you," he said, lips quirking upwards in a slight smile as he stretched out one leg and nudged Otto's. "About the whole...mistakes aren't what you are thing."
It was nice and quiet in his room; there wasn't the chaos outside, no streets full of bustling people laughing and yelling and shouting. Chance ran a hand through his hair.
"I, ah..." he said, trying to figure out how to word it, the alcohol making his body feel warm and calm. "The other day, I...slept with someone I shouldn't have. It was a mistake, I didn't plan for it to happen, it was just...on impulse. And I know I told you that sex is just fun for me, and it is, and that I don't have regrets, and I don't, I usually have a good time - but it's just...I think I screwed something up, or maybe there's just something wrong with me."
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