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 Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 1:43 pm
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 5:50 pm
I know that anything I sat and/or do will be used against me in a court of ROFL...oh well
Some choice quotes from today:
'Look, we had this giant...'
Me: 'Was it a color? an action? A violent crime???'
Friend: *laughs* 'color'
'Pants are overrated!' -no lie, my friend actually said these words-
It's the Satan of cheeses!
Was a long time since second grade
she;s a freak now, I'm afraid
-one of the outcomes of an English project
'Just because I'm a Jew'
-Title of a poem in English
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 11:05 am
My gf said this one yesterday in reaction to what I assume was a webcomic:
"That's not a form of contraception, that's beating a goddamn stork!"
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 11:24 am
Okay, Kumo would kill me for not saying this one, but it's from one of her favorite JRockers, Kyo of Dir en grey. Such a silly man. "Taiwan... is not Thailand..." -long pause.- "They both have "tai" in common." Vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xqXZ50_QyY&feature=relatedROFL xD Silly Kyo.
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 1:13 pm
"Aw, nothing is ever boobs or ice cream." ~Homer Simpson
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 8:05 am
"Alright, all of you move over a tit" - my old Band Director (meant to say "move over a bit")
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 8:20 am
'Would you rather have a n****e-sized p***s or p***s-sized nipples?'
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 6:17 pm
...interesting how it censored the singular, but let the plural through unchallenged... not even gonna ask where you got that one.
Hana should appreciate this one:
"You live by the cake, you die by the cake" - Gabriel Iglesias
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 6:23 pm
"Is that how you guys keep breaking trees?"
-My aunt while my friend tried putting me in a headlock
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:52 am
'Would you rather have sex with the ugliest woman in the world or the world's hottest transvestite?'
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 4:08 am
Not as amusing as the other stuff here, but here's some things someone veeery drunk said one night:
"Why is the red so light?! DAMMIT!" (Stuck at a red light in traffic needing to piss bad)
"NOOO! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STROLLERS?! WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP HAVING BABIES?!" (Stuck in the aisles of a Walmart unable to find the restroom)
(in the sweetest voice) "I'm peeeeeing. ♫"
"I feel like a motherfncking BOSS after a good piss. Like I defeated it or something." (post bathroom trip)
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 8:04 am
burning_eyes Thank you Bapp. I really needed that thought.
"'tis jigglin'"
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 9:44 am
'Would you rather have a rhino-sized hamster or a hamster-sized rhino?'
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 9:49 am
=O So much oddness. I've always wanted something to post. XD I feel compelled to post... >_< It was something I heard a friend say the other day, and it was rather... outrageous.
"So, I was told to ask if you like someone."
"No one in particular... why? If it's that maintenance dude again, so help me I'll-"
"No! No, we'll leave the slumming to someone else."
*horrified looks for everyone involved*
"Oh my god. I can't believe that just popped out of my mouth."
In her own defense... the maintenance dude doesn't speak English... and the person she was accusing of 'slumming' has a history of picking up on those guys...
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Posted: Mon May 31, 2010 10:19 am
'You shall NOT cat yodel my cats!'
-me to my friend...unfortunately, he did it anyway
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