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The Tasmanian

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:12 pm


((I am curious to know how Blood Pact Benchmark ranks with you guys))

Negotiations had gone reasonably well – whilst he had not gained an ally, he had made sure that he wasn’t going to have to fight on another front. The leader of this new threat seemed all too willing to sign a Non-Aggression Pact, as eager as he was to avoid a war on multiple fronts. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lip at the thought, invisible beneath the Grenadier-issue gasmask he wore, worked into the shape of a grinning skull. Whilst these forces seemed to have abandoned uniforms, his own elite stuck to them – the sheer psychological impact of the Grenadier Uniform alone made them worth it, both to his own troops and to the enemy.

He hooked the water-tube built into the gasmask with his lips and drew a small sip of the serum within – a cocktail of blood and stimulants designed to increase combat efficiency and keep the person whom drank it from wasting away, as was the wont of the members of his species when they didn’t get their blood. The wind whipped at his blood-red greatcoat as he stood at the corner of the parade ground. As the still-warm blood ran down his throat, his smile increased. A+ had always been his favourite blood-type, though it was far more difficult to find donors for it than the more common 0+. Still, as long as he was the charming b*****d that everyone saw on the propaganda posters, there would be donors.

He closed his eyes for a moment, the movement hidden behind the tinted lenses of his gasmask. Reaching out with his mind, he sought out the consciousness of Katarina, his 2nd In Command, adjutant and lover. He reached up with a gloved hand and removed his combat helmet, before doing the same to his gasmask. He let the mask slip into the mask pouch in his combat webbing, before setting the helmet back onto his head, revealing his pale face, brown hair and his piercing, steel-blue eyes. As his mind found the one he sought, his features twisted into a mesmerizing smile.

’Well, they’ll leave us alone, at least. Can you manage things at #4 for a while? I’m going to stick around for a bit.’ An acknowledgement quickly followed, and he looked around. He leaned his armoured back against the wall of the barracks, and waited for something interesting to happen.



(( I see you spell honor like a brit. Over-all, pretty decent sentence structure, pretty good spelling, good grammar. You had a conversation with yourself, you didn't godmod, and, you seem to be a decent, if not good writer.

Although your post had absolutely nothing to do with what it should have... Because I realize your position I must say yay, that you passed! ))
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:27 pm


Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.

Slytherin Lord

Desirable Guildsman

14,825 Points
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Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:41 pm


Sheriff Dustin
Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.


((Great writing, good sentence structure, good spelling. A couple of problems though- You god modded.

You invented six commanding officers, you controlled the bus to turn, you controlled a commanding officer, you basically did a lot of things wrong. Read the AMP and please make another post.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:03 pm


((I took too long with my last one [lots of distractions] and Gaia logged me out. sweatdrop ))

Alfons Goldschmidt
Marine Corps
Bus
Arrival


Alfons Goldschmidt had been somewhat catatonic the entire ride, but upon seeing the training facility he snapped wide awake. He'd prepared for this moment for years. "Oorah." He muttered to himself. The bus came to a stop and he departed. Alfons was met with a face full of Marine Recruit Recieving.

((Note about the real me: I actually intend to join the USMC. Basic Training's gonna suck.))

Manguusu

Interesting Gekko

7,400 Points
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Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:06 pm


Manguusu
((I took too long with my last one [lots of distractions] and Gaia logged me out. sweatdrop ))

Alfons Goldschmidt
Marine Corps
Bus
Arrival


Alfons Goldschmidt had been somewhat catatonic the entire ride, but upon seeing the training facility he snapped wide awake. He'd prepared for this moment for years. "Oorah." He muttered to himself. The bus came to a stop and he departed. Alfons was met with a face full of Marine Recruit Recieving.

((Note about the real me: I actually intend to join the USMC. Basic Training's gonna suck.))


((Awesome, very good job. Write some more plz! blaugh Sorry about your previous post btw... you realize that, you can always log in, and then go back, and then recover it right? ))
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:10 pm


Suicidesoldier#1
Manguusu
((I took too long with my last one [lots of distractions] and Gaia logged me out. sweatdrop ))

Alfons Goldschmidt
Marine Corps
Bus
Arrival


Alfons Goldschmidt had been somewhat catatonic the entire ride, but upon seeing the training facility he snapped wide awake. He'd prepared for this moment for years. "Oorah." He muttered to himself. The bus came to a stop and he departed. Alfons was met with a face full of Marine Recruit Recieving.

((Note about the real me: I actually intend to join the USMC. Basic Training's gonna suck.))


((Awesome, very good job. Write some more plz! blaugh Sorry about your previous post btw... you realize that, you can always log in, and then go back, and then recover it right? ))

((I tried and it didn't work... thanks for the suggestion though. smile ))

Manguusu

Interesting Gekko

7,400 Points
  • Citizen 200
  • Brandisher 100
  • Voter 100

Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:17 pm


Manguusu
Suicidesoldier#1
Manguusu
((I took too long with my last one [lots of distractions] and Gaia logged me out. sweatdrop ))

Alfons Goldschmidt
Marine Corps
Bus
Arrival


Alfons Goldschmidt had been somewhat catatonic the entire ride, but upon seeing the training facility he snapped wide awake. He'd prepared for this moment for years. "Oorah." He muttered to himself. The bus came to a stop and he departed. Alfons was met with a face full of Marine Recruit Recieving.

((Note about the real me: I actually intend to join the USMC. Basic Training's gonna suck.))


((Awesome, very good job. Write some more plz! blaugh Sorry about your previous post btw... you realize that, you can always log in, and then go back, and then recover it right? ))

((I tried and it didn't work... thanks for the suggestion though. smile ))


((Haha, you probably went back too far to start with, sorriez. xp ))
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:31 pm


[[All Aussies spell like that, XD - btw, the recruit is Alfons, I'm just going by what his actions were]]

He saw the bus full of recruits trundle through the gates before anyone else, thanks to his heightened senses. The tires crunched against the gravel as it slowly ground to a halt, about fifty meters from its crimson-clad observer. He tilted his head to one side slightly as the door opened, and one of the recruits stepped off, muttering something to himself. Finally, something interesting was happening. Maybe some officers would show up, and he could see how they did things around here.

He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for the rest to follow. A sigh passed his ruby-red lips, as the wind brushed his hair over his eyes. He didn't bother to brush it aside, continuing his flat stare as he waited for something interesting to happen. There wasn't much he could do back at his own base until Bella signed the paperwork that would grant him ownership of the location that was going to be Outpost #6, so he had plenty of time.

The Tasmanian


Slytherin Lord

Desirable Guildsman

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  • Signature Look 250
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:06 pm


Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.


((Great writing, good sentence structure, good spelling. A couple of problems though- You god modded.

You invented six commanding officers, you controlled the bus to turn, you controlled a commanding officer, you basically did a lot of things wrong. Read the AMP and please make another post.


Actually that's not a god mod. When you are rping without interacting with others, then that is not god modding, if I was interacting with other people's accounts, then yes that is god modding. But in this case it is not.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:40 pm


Sheriff Dustin
Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.


((Great writing, good sentence structure, good spelling. A couple of problems though- You god modded.

You invented six commanding officers, you controlled the bus to turn, you controlled a commanding officer, you basically did a lot of things wrong. Read the AMP and please make another post.


Actually that's not a god mod. When you are rping without interacting with others, then that is not god modding, if I was interacting with other people's accounts, then yes that is god modding. But in this case it is not.


(( You CREATED six characters- that's godmodding. You stopped the Bus- I control the bus. It is goddmodding.

Also, I'd like you to designate non-roleplay speak in brackets such as (( )), ( ), [ ], or { }. ))

Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot


ZombieApocalypseSurvivor

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:31 am


Joe Jones
Army
Bus
Arrival


Joe sat in the second seat on the right side of the bus. He leaned his head agaisnt the window, tuning out the huts and orders that the drill sargeant was barking at the other recruits. They don't understand the sh**storm they're about to go through, do they? he thought to himself. He had been in the Civil Air Patrol Cadet Program, and had been to their version of Basic, Encampment. He rather enjoyed it, and was respected upon his Flightmates. He knew that the Basic that he was about to endure was going to put Encampment to absolute shame. How long is this bus ride going to take? Joe thought to himself, his eyes closing as he subconsciously went to take a nap.
PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:45 am


ZombieApocalypseSurvivor
Joe Jones
Army
Bus
Arrival


Joe sat in the second seat on the right side of the bus. He leaned his head agaisnt the window, tuning out the huts and orders that the drill sargeant was barking at the other recruits. They don't understand the sh**storm they're about to go through, do they? he thought to himself. He had been in the Civil Air Patrol Cadet Program, and had been to their version of Basic, Encampment. He rather enjoyed it, and was respected upon his Flightmates. He knew that the Basic that he was about to endure was going to put Encampment to absolute shame. How long is this bus ride going to take? Joe thought to himself, his eyes closing as he subconsciously went to take a nap.


((Um... good job! You have decent spelling and grammar, although not perfect. Your sentence structure was pretty good, your grammar was pretty good, and you talked to yourself which was good, and of course talked in third person.

Good job, you pass! blaugh ))

Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot


filipino_dragon21

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 3:46 am


Mothanius
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


((You just gotta bring back the memories don't ya? I know I'm fusing an officer's pilot school here with enlisted normal BMT, but whatever, I'm reliving my past.))

Everyone was loud. Talking loudly about where they were from, what job they wanted to get into, what they expected to happen in Boot Camp, yet none of the knew... no one ever knows. Mothanius himself didn't know. Despite growing up in a family made entirely of military members, their stories usually sounded so strange like it was a dream for them. He didn't know that now, but even after a year from boot camp, this would all seem like a dream to him too. A hardship that looked so easy to get through once you look back at it. One you would almost do again.

The trees flew by, the pavement a blur of gray with yellow streaks flying by. He looked up to the sky to see two F-16Cs in the air. Undoubtedly from the Air National Guard as they were just stationed at the International Airport. He gazed at them until they disappeared into the clouds, leaving a streak of white from their contrails. What he would give to fly one of those. Or better yet, what he would give to fly an F-22, now that would be a thrill.

"Like I would ever be able to do that," he mumbled to himself. "I'd probably be stuck on a heavy knowing my luck."

He looked over to see his seat mate looking at him strangely. Mothanius just shook his head to shrug him off. "Just thinking to myself," he stated before looking back outside.

"Just one meal at a time," he muttered this time under his breath. "One meal at a time and this will be over before you know it. Just eat really quick and as much as possible and you will do fine."
PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:19 am


Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.


((Great writing, good sentence structure, good spelling. A couple of problems though- You god modded.

You invented six commanding officers, you controlled the bus to turn, you controlled a commanding officer, you basically did a lot of things wrong. Read the AMP and please make another post.


Actually that's not a god mod. When you are rping without interacting with others, then that is not god modding, if I was interacting with other people's accounts, then yes that is god modding. But in this case it is not.


(( You CREATED six characters- that's godmodding. You stopped the Bus- I control the bus. It is goddmodding.

Also, I'd like you to designate non-roleplay speak in brackets such as (( )), ( ), [ ], or { }. ))


((Since you never said you control the bus, All I said was that as the bus turned. Saying adrian saw 6 officers is not god modding. A person can create multiple charecters in a role-play. They jst have to be able to control those charecters to interact with theirs and others. Also you did say act like you are on you way to the base on the bus, and arriving to the base and show what happened when the bus stopped.))

Slytherin Lord

Desirable Guildsman

14,825 Points
  • Partygoer 500
  • Invisibility 100
  • Signature Look 250

Suicidesoldier#1
Captain

Fanatical Zealot

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 11:08 am


Sheriff Dustin
Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Suicidesoldier#1
Sheriff Dustin
Adrian camachi
Air Force
Bus
Arrival


Adrian is sitting in the 3rd row of the bus looking out the window, excited for basic training. He is joining the Air Force which he has been looking forward to for his entire life. As the bus makes one final turn Adrian looks out the window and watch a Hercules lift off at the base. He notices 6 commanding officers come out of the main recruitment building. As the bus stops Adrian flies forward and hits his head against the seat in front of him. "Ow. Dang I need to be more attentive on these buses." Adrian stands up and walks into the aisle of the bus. "Well here is my first step into the first day of being a soldier in the air force." As Adrian starts walking a commanding officer walks on board.

"Sit down recruit your not to get off this bus yet. I have a few announcements." The officer said while saluting.

"Yes, Sir" Adrian Salutes and sits down and starts listening.


((Great writing, good sentence structure, good spelling. A couple of problems though- You god modded.

You invented six commanding officers, you controlled the bus to turn, you controlled a commanding officer, you basically did a lot of things wrong. Read the AMP and please make another post.


Actually that's not a god mod. When you are rping without interacting with others, then that is not god modding, if I was interacting with other people's accounts, then yes that is god modding. But in this case it is not.


(( You CREATED six characters- that's godmodding. You stopped the Bus- I control the bus. It is goddmodding.

Also, I'd like you to designate non-roleplay speak in brackets such as (( )), ( ), [ ], or { }. ))


((Since you never said you control the bus, All I said was that as the bus turned. Saying adrian saw 6 officers is not god modding. A person can create multiple charecters in a role-play. They jst have to be able to control those charecters to interact with theirs and others. Also you did say act like you are on you way to the base on the bus, and arriving to the base and show what happened when the bus stopped.))


((Okay then, I just "Randomly" saw your house get bombed by an F-16. rolleyes
It may not be godmodding to you, but this is my guild, and to me it's godmodding. Please go read the AMP and make a second post. ))
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