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Mistress Bella Muerte

PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:59 pm


Hi! whee Glad to be here, amongst those who have a true appreciation for roleplaying. I know I'm going to enjoy being a part of this community. heart

I have two samples of my work. One is more plain/base-descriptive, and the other incorporates more feelings and thoughts. Both are in the Vampyre Roleplaying category, which is my favorite. Bwaha. twisted Enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the one that I sent in my guild request message:


"Amras put a cigarette into his mouth, igniting it with a butane lighter. He took a deep drag, closing his eyes as red embers glowed in the dark shadows. He exhaled the swirling fumes through his nostrils, creating a cancerous cloud about his face. Pitch black eyes stared blankly though the smoke.

Strands of his chin-length white blonde hair fell into his face; he swept them away with a slender, pale hand. Holding his cig between two fingers, Amras tugged his black trench tighter around him, forcing out some of the cold; but his chill came from the inside as well. Cold as an aging corpse, preserved and walking among those whose hearts still beat with vigor.

A grey long sleeved shirt hugged his torso, reaching down to a pair of black leather pants; slim-fitting, but comfortable and easy for him to move around in. Black army boots completed his look. Amras took another drag from his cig and began walking along a worn-down dirt path, with no particular destination."


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And here is one that I am using for a recent roleplay (warning: rather long):


"'Hey! Hey freak!'

A small chorus of drunken laughter erupted from the small group of men at the bar. One with a particularly dopey grin spluttered, "Good one".

Makael ignored the red-faced fools, and continued to sit quietly on his stool, sipping his daiquirí. A slender hand, white as ivory, grasped the glass; his fingernails were grown out, and slightly pointed. Cold and rather perturbed eyes stared down at the counter, like two round stones of onyx. His black hair fell in feathery layers a bit past his ears. He was clothed in his usual black and red striped shirt; over this was a long black leather jacket - a trenchcoat, if you will - with the collar popped up, cleverly concealing two somewhat conspicuous scars on his neck, which stood out against his alabaster skin. He also wore black jeans, and a pair of all-black Converse Hi-Tops.

The drunken man got up off of his chair, almost falling over.

'HEY! I'm talkin' to you, freak!'

The bartender opened his mouth in protest, but one of the drunk's comrades gave him a warning scowl. The one man reached for his drink, and without warning, threw its contents all over Makael.

In a flash of movement, the glass had broken on the floor, the man was on the counter, and Makael was bent over him, his furious dripping face inches from the man's. The noise had caused all other noise in the bar to cease; all eyes were upon them. Makael looked up at their confused and horrified faces. Too many people... Too many witnesses... Damn...

With clear reluctance, he released the drunk's shirt, but gave him one last piercing gaze.

'Make your decisions wisely next time... for it may be your last,' he whispered.

And in a fury, he swept his jacket back, and marched briskly from the pub and into the chilly New York air. He did not flinch in the slightest at it's embrace, for he was colder than anything Mother Nature could bring. His eyes searched the darkness wildly, his infuriation mounting.

Such ignorance of how fragile their lives really are... Such ignorance!!

Makael was tired of all the noise; the filth; the savagery of the city. He needed quiet. He needed solitude. And so his steps brought him promptly to the southern entrance of Central Park. The sight of the colorful, dying autumn leaves immediately began soothing his seething anger, and the further he ventured within the park's depths, the more at ease he became."


Hope you liked it. :3
PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 7:09 pm


Freya hummed in contentment as she stoked the cook fire. The heat felt good upon her chilled hands and face. Carefully, she blew on the flames and stepped back to admire her work. She inhaled deeply.

"Nothing better than the smell of a cook fire." she said to no one in particular.

gurliebot

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SyukotsuWolf

PostPosted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:51 pm


Across the horizon the sun was barely appearing over hills as life began to stir within the trees. Nocturnal animals asleep long before, a few moments had passed where all life in the forest was tranquil. Now birds lifted their heads from beneath their wings, singing out to each other as they flew from branch to branch in the morning light. Squirrels darted up and down trees, searching for nuts that had fallen in the night. Rabbits left their burrows for food and fun, hopping this way and that. Herds of deer woke from their slumber, looking to their lead male to know how they'd then spend their day. Wolves left their dens, preparing to patrol their borders, hunt for food, and protect their young.

Then, there was a different form of life stirring with the rising sun. A life no animal could recognize, nor any circle of nature it fit into. Opening eyes that saw like the animals, it did not see like the animals. Smelling with a nose that the animals had, it did not smell the way the animals did. Reaching and grabbing with limbs of two different kinds, it had no limbs like the animals. Breathing the air as the animals did, this creature breathed a different kind of breath as the animals. It wasn't so different, yet also completely different in it's own way; it thought, and it thought complicated thoughts no animal would ever think.

Stirring into life, was a human.

(How was it? Did that count? Was I supposed to add speech?)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 10:17 pm


[Mind you this is from a recent RP session.]

It wasn't the first time, nor was it even the tenth that she had walked down these streets, simply to get to a specialty store. But this place, of all places, why couldn't it be closer? Though after the first time of moving through this place she had at least learned one thing. Pull the hair back just right and no one notices the ears, even better if its colder weather and cloaks are open season.

This wasn't winter though.

Commotion, or rather the end of it could be heard as she stepped into a scene she hadn't exactly been preapred for. Towns could be rough but this mess?

Looking around her, was anyone going to help these people? Who had done this to them? Whomever the group was, they were sure fast, fast enough to be gone even as the last person seemed to fall. Pulling her lips to one side though she looked to the specialty shops sign, and pulled one of the metallic objects out of it, playing with the cool metal before tossing it to the ground and stepping on in.

"Gracie! More of the usual I take it?"

How long had this old man been running the store? Since as far back as she could remember, at least and coming here. Soon enough it would be someone else taking these routes, picking up the supplies, soon enough she wouldn't have to interupt studying because some noble ran out of items and complained enough. Ok, he wasn't just some noble, but surely the arch mage could find someone else for this job...

"Yeah. But, what's going on outside? It's a mess..."

But all she got was a shake of his greying head as he went into the back of the shop and she leaned on the wall near the window, watching to see if any of the men got up, or if the culprits perhaps came on back to this place. A few she could possibly handle, but a gang? That was a pass situation.

"Ya know I dun like to gossip Gracie..."

That brought a chuckle from her lips as she raised an inquisitive brow at him. He knew secrets of people from when they were children and he was fiegning his gossip interests? Shaking her head a little bit she leaned back against the wall to look out the shops windows once more, taking in the unconscious state of those she had had to walk over to enter, hmm they still weren't moving? That was odd, but she could see them breathing, as well as, well they still had a faint glow which meant more then likely they were just knocked well and fully out cold.

Good for them.

"Ya weaseled it out of me."

He leaned forward on the desk and she looked back to him with a slow smile, moving away from the window itself and back more into the shop, leaning forward on the counter that separated the front of the store and him. A few of the pesky strands of blonde fell in front of her eyes, longer then the bangs she kept swept to one side and yet apparently not long enough for the ribbon to hold them. Folding her hands slightly she listened, to both him and the muffled sounds outside of the shops...

"Seems one of the dojo's here was embarassed here lately, one man and the whole dojo."

Looking at her with glistening brown eyes, full of some sort of glee he gaged her reaction, which in itself was surprised, and suspicious of what the man was saying, and midway through looking in a box for a few prime herbs, he held two fingers up towards the ceiling of the shop, a hand with herbs on his heart"

"Swear it Gracie, it's a big to do. Defeated them all, so they say, it's a big to do indeed."

"All of them? Perhaps one of the smaller dojos?"

"Now now Gracie, think about your towers, even the smallest one, how many do you have within there? It's a decent enough number to make that feat impressive. It'd be like you...oh wait."

Grace let a slow, satisfied smile slide across her face, brushing back some of the hair from her face, even tucking it back behind one of her ears carefully. So he did hear about that, interesting, but he didn't act towards her like the rest had. It had been quite a day indeed...

"Anyway, that mess outside was caused by him, darted away right quick a'fore you came in matter of fact."

"He caused a street fight? Why do they even allow him in the city then?"

Her head was tipped to one side curiously, before looking back over her shoulder hearing a few groans from outside, seemed a few of them were getting up, slowly but still getting up. Hmm, gauging them by what they wore, and how offgaurd they seemed to have been, perhaps that had been retaliation? No matter, the sooner she got out of this place it was probably better. After all she wanted no trouble, none what so ever, and being a stranger and exiting while they were still out there was not something she even wanted to consider. That and running into this fellow didn't exactly sound like the best of ideas either.

All she recieved from the old shopkeep was a laugh and his shaking head as he was amused, at something, probably her, and worked his thin old fingers through packets and packages, gathering her bundle together. Leaning up from the counter and shaking her head a bit she started roaming through the store once more, before setting herself in a seat near the window, left there by the keep because of the books he kept within this place, for reading as a sort of library, though nowhere near the kind where you could actually take the books out of the walls. No, they were bound here, you wanted their knowledge? They stayed here, with few exceptions.

Like the little leather bound book at her side, within her satchel, heavy and yet a constant weight there on her hip. At least here she could look like she was reading and wait until it was clear for her to leave...

"Why do they still send you for all of this Gracie? Surely they have better gophers?" Came his cheery voice from the back of the shop.

"Aw Amos, if they sent someone else I wouldn't have the pleasure of catching up on the news and talking to you would I?"

"And I would miss ya Gracie, tell me, think they can make ya a permanent? Maybe even move ya here?"

"Amos...."

"Ya know this old man would let you stay in the room above the shop!"

"And then you would have to deal with one of the others coming here, lost and confused and generally foul tempered..."

"Fine dearie, but ya know if ya ever need a place, the door is open always."

"I'm honored..."

He came up to the counter once more, half of the parcel complete, settign down on the smooth wood and shaking his head at her. She'd never stand for staying here, and though while the Arch Mage would happily send her off so he would never have to see her or deal with her again, even he wouldn't be able to keep her away, where ever the magistones led her, or the weave itself guided her. It was hard enough now for them to keep her from wandering off...

Destiny is a strange thing like that.

"You know you like the tea..."

"Only when you don't use too much sugar. Not a hummingbird Amos."

"Nay, but I am."

Offering him her smile and a shake of her head she went back to the leather book now folded in her lap, distractedly her fingers running over the old worn covers, well oiled, well used, but still just from the smell of it, from the feel of it, it was old. Very old...that was what had drawn her too it so very many years ago.

"They wont be comin in here dearie, not that I expect anyway, probably gonna go off after that young man soon enough."

"All in the name of their honor." She whispered and sighed. This place, being whom she was, made her nervous, this city, but most did especially with higher human ratios, but that was part of her sheltered existence. Funny, that she was more acclimated to the humans and able to actually accept and deal with them then most of her compatriots, her leaders, teachers and friends all very xenophobic.

They weren't all bad though.

[Sorry it's so long....]

Timorrell


MMORpg NavigatorMessenger

PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 12:33 am


Daylen winced as the burning sensation ran up his arm from the numbing poison. He felt a trickl of a warm liquid slowly makes it's way down his arm and the dagger jutted from his arm through the bone completely. He jad barely had time to react till another ran straight into his leg making him completely vunelrable to almost any attack. He silenly thanked the person who had enough mercy to spare him from feeling the pain in his arm and leg. His vision blurred as the poison started to slowly make its way to his brain making his speech slurr as he murmured oe last sentence. "Why.. i thought.. you loved... me.." He said ash e collapsed on his floor as a tear slid down his face just as his breathing stopped and a large puddle formed on the floor from his now lifeless corpse.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:38 am


Alright i'm just going to wing it and let you guys decide if I need some practice or not.
--------------------------------------------------
A wild looking youth stepped out of the unnatural fog. Her clothes were from an era long since forgotten in the San Fransico streets. Her hair looked like she ran through electricity. The local riff raff began to single her out for a possible target of pick pocketing and other illegal actions. One of the men stepped up to her and gave a nasty smile. "Where's the little lady off to now? A costume party perhaps?"
The girl looked at him with disgust as he moved his hand around her waist. "Unhand me swine. Or you going to regret it."
The man roared with laughter as his gang came into the light. "Unlikely. Boys what say we rough her up?"
The 18th century revolver was in her hands and smoking. The leader lay sprawled on the street in a state of shock. A little wound was made in his stomach and the rest of the gang began to back away as she flashed a fanged smile at them. "Now then? Who's next?"

pantherdor

Shadowy Rogue

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HaloDragonra

PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 8:46 pm


Hm....?
___________________________

He reached out, open handed, latching onto the crashing blade. He gave a leery smile as his opponent pulled back, retreating a few steps.
"Hikiro, just what have you done?" The other one asked, the voice muffled enough to distort the gender tone, but not enough to filter the words. The figure wasn't much taller than him, at least only five foot five. Half an inch taller.
"Nothing. Just terminating annoyance's that must be dealt with, my dear older sister. Are you against me, Naomi?" Hikiro leaned left to right slightly. His black rough hair, short enough to prevent discomfort, but enough to cover a little bit of his blue-gray eyes. His entire body, but his head, covered by an overly large white robe.
He could tell his sibling was unnerved. The bodies of their bleeding, dead parents in front of them. "How could you Hikiro? They were our parents!" She wore a traditional assassin uniform. Their entire family was dedicated to the art of death. From a back pouch located on her hip, Naomi pulled out several darts. "Why... Why?" Tears fell down her face. "Why! Answer me now!" Crying out, throwing the darts erratically so he could not read them, but he didn't need to.
"Sister." He spun around, his sleeves extending to fire out their own small hidden daggers to deflect the oncoming projectiles. "Be calm. Your making it so much harder for me to ex-" He was cut off as she came down on him like a waterfall. He had barely any time to think, to react. Two katana's clashed. A silver, white sword, Glacier, as Hikiro had named it, screeched fiercely against the red blade of Rose Thorn, Naomi's own. The two backed away swiftly. "Damn it, Naomi!" Hikiro rushed forward, Glacier poking out from beneath the torn right sleeve.
"I don't plan on dying!" Naomi swung down, spinning to thrust, backwards springing to avoid one of her brother's own thrust. "Despicable!" She screamed throwing a kick to her mix.
"You don't know what they were doing!" He responded, handstanding, using his shin to deflect the kick, and flipping himself over to resume offense. His robe was ripping tremendously to the point of his seeing his white dragon striped shirt. She was too fast, he had no chance of winning, and her emotional state was overpowering his calm demeanor. He needed to retreat. No ideas came to him, but the door gave him an idea. It was simple, but it was really the only way. Just had to maneuver around Naomi. The two let their blades dance. Hikiro could see the door just a bit further away. His sister, was aware too. SHe changed her patterns, sweeping low instead of thrusting. It took him off guard. It was the end. She was coming up, the tip of her sword coming to meet his chest.
Then the door was blown open. A swarm of ten other assassin's entered. Hikiro could see a wasp emblem on the left shoulder of one. A rival clan. He looked to his left, a window a little higher than his head. The two groups stared each other down carefully. "So, want to fight now or later?" Naomi gave him the most shocked face her could ever imagine.
"Shut the hell up. You're going to tell me everything." SHe could see his eyes leading the window. The two nodded. They ran. The rivals behind them. A gas and smoke bomb went off in the center of the room. The breaking of glass echoed throughout the valley. Two figures sprinted off.
---Days later---
"SO, that's the truth huh?" Naomi brushed some fallen hair out of her hazel eyes. She tossed an old picture of their family into the wind. No use keeping it now.
"Yeah..."
____________________________

What he told her is really just all up to you. Got writer's blcok at the end. Not much detail on the characters, but let your own mind flow.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:06 am


He vaguely saw his surroundings, as the pain had left. A street. A very dirty street. No cops.
Dragging the child on his shirt, he slid along the dirty brick wall, leaving a little trail of clean brick, only followed by an occasional whisper of the waste that was on the ground. He carefully checked the backstreet, and only saw some cats, a rat, and the usual garbage cans. Punks and other social failures had managed to give the street a kind of charming presence, he noticed, as he took a cigarette out of the pack.
Cursing, he saw that he had blood on his hands. When had that happened?
An episode flashed through his mind, when the large cop had managed to hit the punk with the shield. Straight in his mouth. He put the thoughts away, and slid out of his large black overcoat. The risk would be too high that some of the riot-police take a stroll in the lesser populated streets, and look for somebody they had missed. He could understand them.
He slid down on a sack dull of soft things, and did not even notice the smell. He now had to care for the kid.
He had a flashback, as he carefully placed the head of the kiddie on his lap, and checked his pockets for a band aid. The cops, clobbering down on one of the punks that had attacked the police car. He could understand them. Heck, he cursed again, as he carefully took of the glasses of the kid, and discovered that behind the large glasses and the big scarf, there hid a girl....
He always had been bad with girls. Not his fault, though. He had a rough upbringing, and you saw that mostly on his face. Nose broken several times, a few teeth missing.... he was a handsome fella, as one of his buddys down at the dock had told him, strong as a mule, good with hurting people, but never very handsome.
He tried to be as gentle as he could, and checked her face for scars and other scratches. Her temple was slightly bleeding, and she still smelled quite nasty because of all the teargas, but it did not matter to him. What mattered was that she was breathing, and that she had a pulse.
The cops now probably do the same, he thought, as he gently positioned her body on his lap. But it was wrong hitting girls! Even his mummy had told it to him, when he was smaller.
He chuckled, as he smiled at the fact that his mommy had not been at the demonstration. If she had seen the punks and the police hitting each other, she would have gone berserk.
He looked at his left hand, where some shards of glass stuck in his hairy arm. He grinned, and pulled them out with his big clumsy fingers. The cop had hit the girl on the head, he told himself. She was a kid. And a girl. Hitting girls was quite wrong. Mommy would have been proud of how he had hit the policeman with the motorbike. A bit of the glass broke, but he had stopped hitting the girl.
He checked again if the girl on his lap was still alive. He had seen many such cases. People that were beaten too hard. They simply decided to sleep, and sometimes, they just went away. He did not want that girl to go away. That girl was nice. She smelled of self rolled cigarettes, just like his mommy used to.
He closed the eyes, and carefully leaned back. Then, he hummed the song his mommy had always hummed, on the rare occasions he had been treated unjust. Usually, he had been too big and too dumb to do anything right. As he was four, he was as big as some of the kids from the school. He looked down at his tattered pullover, with something sticking out of it. He just ripped it of, and carefully held it with two fingers.
It was a taser. He had been ordered to practice with one, but he had been too dumb. The boss and Vinnie had said that he had to go with the time, and had told him not to beat up people anymore. He just tried very hard to hold the little thing in his hands, but he never really managed on how to shoot it right. If he just pressed it softly, he shot to slow. If he just pressed how he felt it should have been pressed. The thing suddenly made crack, and the boss had laughed, and had told him to just go back to beat people up again. That was some time ago.
He scratched his pullover, because the pace where the taser had struck him had been itching, and hummed on. He was not quite sure how the words went, therefore he hummed even better.
He remembered how the police had shot at him. It was not nice to shoot at him, because it hurt him. And they had started it. He had just helped the girl. He noticed how his tummy was very hurting, and pulled his pullover up. There were scratches and some holes, and even he knew that it was not right. He was hurt, because the cops did know that he was not allowed to hurt back because then his mommy would come back and hit him for hurting people. He cried a little, and carefully wrapped the little girl in his overcoat.
He was not entirely sure what to do with the little girl, because he was a boy, and he did not know nothing about girls. Only a bit from the lady friends of the boss. They always were very nice with him, and had much candy if he had beat up one of the guys that had touched them indecently, and he liked the candy very much. The only girl that had understood ....
He remembered the one time Frankie from the docks had been hurt. He had carried a crate, and Frankie bumped against it, as he turned. He had fallen on the floor and had been very still. And they had brought him to Caren through the street with the red lights and the many girls.
Caren was a nice girl. She was a doctor, not a real one, but a very good one, and she always knew what to do when he was hurt. She would know that he had only been protecting the girl. She would believe him. He was sure of it.
He carefully grabbed the girl in both arms, and stood up, with his back against the wall. The light fell in one of the windows, and because he was a bit woozy, he rested for a second. He saw his figure, standing tall in the street, with his six foot five. He also saw his face, which was so old and beaten up like an old mans, but he was not that old. Nearly 25, he knew. He liked to count.
The girl was still quiet. Her face was a bit pale, but she was still breathing. He did not want her to stop breathing. The girl just had been at the wrong place. He held her securely in his arms, and stood up again. This time, he made it.... the itching in his tummy had gone worse, and it now hurt too, quite a bit, to be exact. He knew that he would not have long before he would want to sit down and take a big old sleep.
He started to move his foot, and followed the back alley, while he was slightly humming. He knew that he just had to make it to Caren's house, and all would be good. He counted his steps.

One step.

He felt so tired. Step after step he walked down the dark alley, with the soft body of the girl pressed to his chest to keep her safe from hurting. He just wanted to get away from the street, and into Caren's nice room.

Fourth step, fifth step

He knew he was not going for a wee, but his pants felt like it. The girl was getting terribly heavy. Just looking down on her small face, with the hoodie and the funny letters was difficult. He really hoped that Caren would have a second pair of pants.

Nineteenth step, twentiest step....

He could see the house. It was a fine house. All nice and big, and he could see the red light, and could hear that kind of music like in the old films and there was the door and he was getting so tired. He just pressed all of the buttons, because he knew that Caren had to be at home.
He simply slid down, and rested against the door. It hurt so much, and he was getting so cold. He really wanted to get a coat, but the girl needed to have the coat more then him, and he just had to leave the coat with her. He also felt how his pullover was sticky, and how his head began to hurt. He saw a little man cursing, and raised his hands.
„I want to go to Caren! I did not touch the girl. The police did! I just have to see Caren and all is going to be good!
He was really tired, and he felt how the red light was darker, and he saw Caren, and his Mom stood next to her, and she waved at him, and she smiled. He was feeling so weak, and so cold, but him Mum just touched him, and hugged him, while she hummed with him his favorite tune as all was getting cold...

((ooc: well, how is my stile?))

Baltazaar


Jayden Kelvari

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:23 pm


Just a sample so I can get some angst out of my system
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Looking up at his attacker, Jayden tightens his grip on Angelus, the black blade shining from the rain. Rising up, a bolt of lightning flashes, reflecting off of the crystalline blade of the sword as well as his own emerald-green eyes as the thunder eats his battle cry.

As the blade sinks into the demon's flesh, it lets out an un-earthly scream, fueled by pain, surprise, and pure hatred - hatred for the boy that could wield the demon sword, hatred for this mortal that could stand against the forces of darkness, hatred at the puny being that was taking his life. But in a few swift moments, it matters not who was wielding the blade, or what the weather was, for the demon was now on either side of it, the blade having sliced him clean in half. Blinking in disbelief, the hellspawn stands for a few moments before trembling slightly and collapsing to the ground.

Plunging the blade into the ground, Jayden dry-heaves, choking on his own tears, his blaze-red hair wet and matted against his head. Trembling from sheer exhaustion, he turns and looks back at the path of death and destruction that he - and the sword - forged through the armies of Hell.

"Mother... Father..." he says softly to himself, "You have been avenged..."

With that, he slumps to the ground, seemingly lifeless - another body in a pile of bodies.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 8:38 pm


((Well, now that I'm in this guild I might as well post something xp ))

Another light. Another portal.

Here and there in the distant white expanse he would see the 'doors' of light open and close from a distance. There was no telling how long he had seen them because in his stark reality where the silence was deafening, he couldn't remember ever not seeing them. Or not existing for that matter.

Lately, one door in particular had been opening and closing in almost the exact same place nearby. It beckened him closer, and this time he believed he would be able to reach it before it closed. He had no way of knowing how long he waited. But it wasn't long.

A shimmer. A haze; and a light.

His flickering form reached it's 'hand' out to touch the wavering beam.

In the small, cramped living room, four darkly dressed teenagers sat on the floor. Between them was a small, rectangular board. It was ghostly white and covered in letters and numbers. Eight quivering hands were extended over the board, playfully moving a triagular planchette across its smooth surface.
One of them would smile and push it towards words and numbers meaningful only to them. And the game was fun.
Until the frail planchette was suddenly ripped from their hands to dangle in midair.

He had grabbed something, and as he fixed it securely to the top of the light and slid it downwards something unexpacted happened. Working like some otherworldly zipper, he stared into an abyss. Dark creatures scattered and pinpricks of flickering light were extinguished.

How can darkness be understood by a creature who has only known light? It was. And he remembered his name, though he could not recall ever having it.

As he stepped into the strange, ever changing darkness and felt his form solidify into something human, he knew he was Kyrie.
The planchette fell onto the board; a black, smoking mess.
Kyrie was somewhere he had never known. And for the first time since he could remember, Kyrie felt.


((This is actually the origin of my MC Kyrie, an interdimensional being summoned through a ouija board. ))

adlerism

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Teh Epitome

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:29 pm


The night was still and calm as she approached the facility, the cool wind at her back sending a chill down her spine. She was eager to get on with it, the blades she carried hunger for the blood of mortals, as did she. She wore all black, rather tight clothing, and a mask only showing her eyes to the public. Moving through the shadows as though she herself were a fragment of darkness given sentience. Creeping calmly through the snow she made her way towards the wall before her leading into the fortress. She could smell blood, among other things, humans were near. Fangs beared she'd pause just outside of the wall and listen, a pair of footsteps on the other side told her of the guards that awaited her. Smirking she unsheathed the pair of blades resting 'pon her back, holding them at the ready at her sides. A final sigh reminding herself that this would be the last point at which she could turn away. Before the thought could fester, she'd bend her knees slightly and push off gently, her vampiric strength caring her over the wall with ease.

Amidst the trees on her descent she saw the two below her, their paths intersecting beneath her. As quiet as the night itself she'd descend upon them both, her blades held above her head. Their cries of pain were muffled, in two succint slashes she'd land followed by the small sounds of a pair of heads rolling to the ground. The amount of blood that spewed temporarily overwhelmed her as she'd cup her hands before one of the fountaining necks and drink. Her eyes would take on a crimson hue as her thirst was quenched, a moment of exstacy... Though this moment would pass as she quickly took off at a run for the door about 100 yards away. She noticed it was only slightly ajar and was closing fast, and her body seemed to explode forth in raw speed and power. Her fingers slid between the two doors as it was about to close and held it for a moment listening once more. Hearing nothing after a moment she'd cautiously step inside and allow the door to close behind her. Kneeling a moment to gather herself and get her bearings she'd tap a small receiver in her ear, her voice smooth and seductive, " I'm in."
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:06 pm


[O/M exert: Drug Kartel RP]

An all black Impala SS Capric Classic, heavily tinted and bulleted proof would come creep slowly down the boulevard. Its occupants could not be seen initially as all windows were laced with thick black tinting, though within Lil Wayne could be heard blasting from internal speakers. A pair of 10 inch subs within the trunk allowed for the lovely bass knock which could be heard throughout the block. As it would slow to a stop just in front of the club, all four 22 inch chrome Giovanni's would continue to rotate in a clockwise motion.

There'd be pause before any movement was seen as though a conversation was being held within the vehicle. The passenger side door would be the first to open, and with it a large cloud of haze flavored smoke would exit the vehicle. The aroma of exotic Kush would immediately rush out into the street, as the passenger exited. The passenger was not an extremely intimidating figure, African American and generally light skinned. His tall and muscular figure adonned in designer jean shorts, a white wife beater hugging a heavily chiseled six pack and chest, and a pair of fresh butter timberlands. A single chain dangling from his neck, the symbol, an 8-Ball, yellow and white diamonds set into 14 carrot gold. About his left wrist a rolex, about the right a band similiar to the watch though where the actual watch piece would be, sat only an 8-Ball. Clean shaven, his face seemed a bit young for the jewelry and clothing, though he was 19 years of age.

Slowly and calmly he'd approach the entrance to the club, though an unfamiliar he'd heard of this place from a previous connection. The man pulling the strings behind him and his constituents had asked them to check this place out, and so here they were. The others would remain in the car as he approached, eyes blood shot, he was visibly high though in control of his actions and motions. Tattooes lined his shoulders, biceps, chest and back, each having its own personal meaning to his life or his past. His name Andreas Dane, AD on the streets. Reaching the door he'd step inside, his only weaponry a single beretta 9mm tucked into his belt in the back, not exactly hidden. This gave no true incling to the arsenal within the Impala, which is why he felt no need to carry more with him.

[FFA exert: [Fantasy, Guild rp]

Lyger breathed a bit easier as he watched these events. His son's presence was invaluable in his life, and while he wanted to go to this fortress and use it as the catalyst to fuel his own lifes ambitions, he knew his son didnt want that. He'd found lately that the boy's loyalty was beyond description, and when they spoke indepth he'd always wanted Shunobu to be reborn and the Oni Waban to return to its original purpose. After the fall of Shunobu initially the Oni Waban became a merciless group of bounty hunters and assassins. Lyger angered from the fall of shunobu and in pain from the lonliness of lossing both women he loved, was driven into madness and a blood thirst came to him. They'd all done unspeakable things, and while it'd given Jyushin the training and experience to surpass him completely, he may have taken him down the wrong path. Now that Shunobu was back he had purpose and direction, and Jyushin had as well. He could not goto the fortress, but he also could not do something about it beneficial to himself and the Oni Waban. "Form up" he called allowed as the walker was now out of sight, and silently they dropped from their respective tree perches and stood befor him. "Mesa i need you to channel the energy through this new mask into your own spiritual being and allow my self and the Blade the power of Duality. He will be in the fortress with you Troy, and King, while me and Jyu will remain here."

Mesa nodded solumnly, "allow for yourself and the Blade to have an equal sharing of your subconscious for the moment. That will ensure equality between the two of your body's though you will retain the ability as though you were still conjoined." Lyger nodded closing his eyes and relaxing himself, breathing deeply and focusing on allowing the Blade's consciousness to surface. "Lyger... why are you so willing to allow me this power, this is unlike you", "I've been doing this long time boy, lifetimes before we were reborn together i've always chased my ambitions and my desires. It lost me my life, my heart, my wife, and jyushin's mother. I need to let this go, your more the man for this job now.", "Going soft on me Lyger? Your not the heartless creature you think you are...", "used to be boy, used to be."

Mesa touched the center of the mask and a greyish subtstance, of his spiritual energy spanned through the mask. It pierced the soul of this body and the body itself melted completely leaving only two silvery clouds of mist dangling in the air. One was blood red, the other a silvery essence.

Troy closed his eyes for a moment, gathering celestial energies from the heavens above, channeling them through his angelic figure he directed them into both spirits. To large gelatanous orbs encased each spiritual essence, and immediately began to form bodies. The first, Lyger, was that of Lyger, the only change now was that there were no mists, and the hair tendrils were once again shoulder length silver dreads, on his initial chaotic aura. The second, The Blade, a wingless crimson body of the same strength and ability, even identical scars and facial features, and the mists pouring from his chest, adorned in the beautiful ruby mask sculpted by the Blazing mind. The tendrils in his hair didnt rhyth with the fury of Lygers, more with harmony, peace.

The Blade would bow to Lyger, to which Lyger would incline his own head. Turning to his men he'd speak, "Oni Waban, you are my family, i'd fight along side of you before anyone in the world. I love you all very much." Mesa nodded, "we will make this empire strong for you Lyger" they all bowed simultaneously and then turned to Blade. King spoke now, his voice smooth and rather cocky, "we your's Blade, you know our intentions be true. If you lead us under Lyger and build this empire we will remain loyal until death or beyond. But if you cross Lyger or us we will destroy you." The Blade chuckled, like Lyger he was never intimidated and didnt fear them, but he respected Lyger and his brotherin far too much to ever turn on them. He'd simply nod to the feeling no need to respond and the mists would rise around his body and encase them all. It would thicken and stirr abit before vanishing completely.

Lyger marvelled at the magick behind this duality. He could see every thought action and movement of Blade's but he could feel Blade subtly present within his own subconscious. I wont fail you Lyger... the last he heard from Blade before they were completely gone.

S.Lyger


Jen-Til

Desirable Fatcat

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 8:14 pm


I was going to post something of my own, but there are so many other excerpts posted on this page, alone, with no feedback...that I'd feel bad adding to it. XD

I'm amazed to see just how many different writing styles we have here. Seems like a rather diverse bunch in this guild, I must say. Quite a lovely thing to see. heart

Hokies, just small comments on everyone on this page, so far...since there are so many to respond to. :'D

Now, I know I'm far from perfect, myself...but I can at least offer SOMETHING, ne? Also, yes, I use the ellipses often and incorrectly, at that. I think it looks ugly with the spaces. So sue me. XP

--------------

Arcane: I enjoy your style. It's simple but fairly well-constructed. Very nice and certainly to the point. <3

Real: Not bad, not bad. I'd love to see more of your work to give you a better analysis. :'D

Sorceress: Your writing isn't bad. You seem to be on the right track, but it almost feels like you're overdoing it. You get to the point very easily with just a couple of sentences yet continue on in the same fashion for an entire paragraph. Then, do the same with the next? Try condensing your examples, using only a couple for necessity and work on trying to make things flow a little better. Overall, though, not bad work. I'd love to see more. ^^

Timorrell: Some of your sentences are not COMPLETE sentences, but that's alright. I do that in RPs, too, at times. I tend to use special sentence structures when I'm trying to get certain points across, as if telling my story to a single person, directly, making them think as my character does. If that makes sense. Lawl. I enjoy your style. It almost feels...relaxed as your story unfolds. You don't drag things on, but you don't rush anything, either. A nicely paced RP, it seems. Watch your comma use. I've had sentences before that had several commas used, but they were all used correctly. You sometimes throw them in when it's unnecessary.

This sentence, for example:

Looking at her with glistening brown eyes, full of some sort of glee he gaged her reaction, which in itself was surprised, and suspicious of what the man was saying, and midway through looking in a box for a few prime herbs, he held two fingers up towards the ceiling of the shop, a hand with herbs on his heart"

A possible reconstruction that would flow better might be something like...

"Looking at her with glistening brown eyes filled with some sort of glee, he gaged her reaction. That, in itself, was a surprised and suspicious one at what the man was saying. Midway through looking in a box for a few prime herbs, he held two fingers up toward the ceiling of the shop, his other hand wrapped around herbs placed at his heart."

Or something similar. Y'know? Don't be afraid to break things up. ^^

Dragoon: Your style isn't bad. Watch your grammar and spelling, first and foremost. I think you have plenty of potential. ^^ I'd love to see more of your work. If you'd like to have me rewrite your current paragraph, I can try to better construct it for you?

panther: Hmm, seems like an interesting story. Is that from a current RP? Not bad, not bad. Simple but not bad. Doesn't need to be complex to be good. :'D Watch for typos since your spelling and grammar seem decent. Try not to rush or you can leave out words or letters by accident. For example, check right after where she says "Unhand me swine." Also, structure could use a tad bit of work. Punctuation being the big thing. That example I just used, even, should have a comma to express that she's directing the comment TO the 'swine'. Make sense? I'd love to see more. ^^

Dragonra: I'm not overly fond of your punctuation and structuring. Tone that up a bit. Also, pay attention to the sentences, themselves. Some of them are not complete. For example...

"Crying out, throwing the darts erratically so he could not read them, but he didn't need to. " There is no subject in this sentence. It doesn't exactly specify the person that's crying out and throwing the darts. Sure, we can guess, but if that sentence had to stand alone without the rest of the paragraph...no one would know.

"She cried out, throwing the darts erratically so he could not read them- not that he needed to." Or something. Y'know?

Not bad, though, not bad. Take your time with things and develop your personal style more. X3

...and I'm tired, so...I'll do more, later. D: XD
PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:46 am


Oh, COME ON! Why is there no feedback? Hell, ******** it. I don't care. I'll just remove myself from the guild.

Mage The Red

Bloodthirsty Demon

24,750 Points
  • Demonic Associate 100
  • Winged 100
  • Noble Shade 100

Jen-Til

Desirable Fatcat

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 8:03 pm


Vampire Kurix
Oh, COME ON! Why is there no feedback? Hell, ******** it. I don't care. I'll just remove myself from the guild.


Sadly, some people have no patience. I was TRYING to offer some feedback to people but so many users have posted writing samples that they wanted comments on that I only picked some of the more recent ones to deal with. Unfortunately, not many other users appear to be available to also add in their 2 cents. Someone would have gotten to you, eventually, I'm sure. sweatdrop
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