|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 11:15 am
Fhyst looked at his brother, nodding and clinging to the sane answer. A few days, if he is not better in that time they would have to leave. If not... well, they would have to because it would be apparent that they were not wanted there.
"Ros will return by then. He wouldn't leave him alone so long. He couldn't knowing..." Fhyst took a deep breath and relaxed mildly. "But what if Ros tells us to leave? Where would we go? Dad would agree to anything Ros says.. if he kicks us out..."
Life made so little sense now.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:45 pm
Takiro shook his head, "I don't think that will happen brother..." He was calm now. It seemed that everything dangerous was over and that the way things worked would solve themselves. At least, he had to believe they would, he had to believe that somehow they could make things better. Not only for Hikuzu, but for themselves. For everyone. That was the goal of life wasn't it? To be happy? If the people you cared for weren't happy then it needed to be fixed! And fixing it he was. "Just some time..."
And so that time passed. On a bright morning in three days it was soon apparent that Hikuzu would not be recovering. If anything he'd gotten worse for, as far as the twins could tell, he had not left his room for nourishment or anything of that sort whatsoever. It had become a bad and grave situation. That morning Takiro got dressed easily. They would be going out today to look for 'Ros.
((Alrighty Steal. Last post for you for a while. ^^ Make it a good one. <3))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:36 pm
Fhyst grit his teeth, his eyes narrowed as he looked again at the door to their father's room. "Ros said he would be coming back. He just went cause the phone rang and he wont come back. How can anyone do that?" He shuddered and looked at the door. "If we had just left we wouldn't know and Ros wouldn't come back and he would die. We can't get in and give him food or anything, and I want to.. I want to call someone to help and I don't know who to call." He looked at his brother with frantic feeling in his eyes.
"Takiro we need to get some help here. We need to." He swallowed and grabbed his brother's arm, holding him close. "I ruined this.. I made it bad and caused him to do this. I am.. I am the cause for all of this." His heart dropped again.
He knew now that he was not going to be helpful. "Dad.. we will find him.. just.. Im leaving food at the door, if not for you.. or for Takiro or myself.. eat for the babies.." He swallowed and looked at Takiro. "Taki.. lets go."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:34 pm
And so the twins left. Takiro was clinging to his brother's arm, trying to comfort him by just being there. He felt that they had surpassed words. There was nothing left anymore. Hikuzu was certainly dying in there and all they could think of to do was go find the coon whom he so valued. Where? Who knew. He was nowhere to be found. He'd abandoned the angel that was so precious to both of them. It had to stop. It had to end. It had to be fixed. So they left, left to explore the big city and perhaps find him some solace in kind words. Whatever happened now, it was either going to be the end of everything or the beginning of a beautiful story.
Their forms faded from the view of anyone watching nearby, and then they were gone. Later they would return. Later. Anything could happen. Now the situation was all or nothing. Preferrably all.
It was like an annoying dying light bulb. His mind flickered constantly, on and off, awake and unconcious. He was bordering screams, insanity and even death. Safety seemed nowhere in sight. His body was eating away at himself. Pale and dirty, it was a wonder the children inside of him were still growing. Painfully of course, due to the lack of nourishment. There was nothing to be done for him. His fur had lost it's shine and the world had lost it's glow. Nothing existed anymore, everything was the epitome of dark oblivion.
Darkness. Shadows lurked around in the deepest parts, eating away at the edges of his dreams like vicious monsters. There he sat, in the middle of his mind, lost. Once upon a time a coon had warned him that one day he would get lost. He had mixed up love. He had made mistakes. And he was now lost. Lost forever and unable to see the light and the way home. The world was a blur beyond his security shield. He sat with his knees curled close to his chest, close as his bulging stomach would allow anyway. His heart ached so much that all the other pain was numb. There were circles under his eyes and he looked the part of a corpse.
Death seemed to be waiting for time to stop so that his victim would give up breathing. It was the only option left. Fever spiked and no longer the beautiful troubadour that 'Ros had perhaps befriended, he was a worthless chunk of matter in the universe. He simply took up space and hurt people and now he was killing them. It was pathetic. His sadness was going to kill the two things that had kept 'Ros by his side all this time. His mind couldn't comprehend his own death and so it would not come.
Conciousness came for a moment to hear parting words and then he fell, drowning. He was thrown down into an ocean, reaching for a hand he couldn't see. In his mind, he screamed. He screamed and thrashed and tried in vain to prevent his death. His coon had to come back. He had to. If 'Ros didn't... he knew for sure he'd die.
Amidst his feverish body on his bed he was moaning things incoherently, and then in a low hoarse voice, it was the last of his pleas, "'Ros! 'Ros! 'Ros... please..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:41 am
It was into this maelstrom that 'Ros stepped...he'd come back as soon as he might...enraged that he had been called home for anything short of a death...and of course, it was terribly short of that sort of catastrophe, but it had to do with the business that the coon would eventually inherit the profits of. But finally, he had been through with their pleas and lectures, and told them rather simply that he must leave...that he didn't give a damn about what they might or might not lose and that if he did not depart he might lose something that was altogether precious to him.
Emotion...he displayed emotion, losing that cool, calm exterior that they had long associated with their son, and they did not know whether or no this was a bad thing, or an improvement instead, but nonetheless...it was change.
Running...he was running to, only it was to his Hikuzu...to his tormented little troubadour...the one thing in the world that meant more to him than himself. Worry plagued him like a pursueing enemy, and when he arrived at the apartment, he let himself in like he had so many times...but he knew that this was wholly and utterly unlike anytime his foot had crossed the threshold in the past.
Quite literally slamming the door open...nearly off of its abused hinges in his fretting...he'd heard...sharp ears caught the tormented sounds...and that had been enough to escalate mere worry into near-panic. No...dammit no...he hadn't been away so terribly long that things should be like this!
Hands balled into fists as he stood...for one limitless moment...as though on a precipice, and attempting to summon the courage to plummet from the heights. "Hikuzu..."
It was an answer, and it was laced with a sadness and even a horror, far beyond what even all his eloquence could express. There were no snide words...no bluster...that could smooth this over, that could fix this, that could patch the breach that the angelic fox had made in that emotional wall...and now that fortress was being assaulted...assaulted at its weak point...and it was crumbling in truth.
(( Sorreh it took me so long, luffly. e.e 'Ros was being a b*****d to me. ))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:13 am
Danger laced his dreams, tears layered his face. The heat was too much. He was burning up and the world was nothing but a blur. Even with open eyes he could do nothing to soothe his pain. With closed eyes the world was terrifying and was a world of dreams that all ended in death. A lonely and utterly permanent death. If the coon felt on the edge of a cliff, his troubadour was actually on one. Irregular breaths came from his lips and they were no heavenly song. They were no such words that his godly voice usually gave into. They were the ominous moans of oncoming pain and of an empty world.
It was bleak and the twilight burned all around this blasted eternity. Weary crimson eyes opened halfway and saw a blurred form by his bed. A smile crossed his lips. In his mind he was thinking: 'Hahaha! I'm really going to die... and I've been so lucky my mind is letting me see 'Ros one final time.' It was all a joke, a grand joke. This hallucination of his coon was not real. 'Ros was gone. Forever.
Eyes closed once more, and he twitched, a laugh gurgled and died in his throat. Then he turned on his side, curled up and began to cry. It was worse then anything. He was alone, pregnant and dying and now he was seeing things. It had to all vanish or he was sure he'd choke from lack of air. Slowly he dug himself back into the safety of his mind. Slowly he found the world in which he'd been living for the last few days.
However, it was different now. The sky was bright and blue and the world ran off to an edge. Suddenly he was pushed off that edge and he fell, smiling. Farther and farther. Drowning. Dying. Falling. Was there no savior? Was there no survival? ...Was there no love?
Tears ripped from his face fell above him and he watched them shimmer and sparkle and make his dying requiem. It was a beautiful sonnet that was full and heartfelt and expressed all the words he'd never been able to say. Had he accidently fallen in love? Yes. Yes he had. Against all the will and all the pain he couldn't help it. And to be left alone again with another broken heart. It was the end. The ground was closer and the world seemed to be breaking into pieces. He was floating down into oblivion...
Where was the hand that would grab him? The friendly hand that was supposed to support him forever was gone and as he shed more tears he thought of the life he could've had. The life he deserved. A painless one. Goodbye 'Ros.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:43 am
"Hikuzu!" It was repeated, more desperate and urgent now as the auburn-haired male closed the distance between them...and he was over the other in a moment...golden eyes rather worridly seeking crimson as strong arms found his way around the other, and tugged him close. 'Ros was warmth...he was strong...and surely he could be enough for both of them...enough to save this essential piece of his life.
"Dammit...dammit don't you go..." Oh he recognized this for what it was, his gorgeous little singer had given up on life and it was more than 'Ros could bear...his own twisted emotions and batterd soul having to school itself into some semblence of order in a last-dash attempt to fix this.
Blue strands were clasped between fingers, as he all but cradled the winged male to his chest. "Please, Hiku...please..." 'Ros had only begged once before in his life, but he was doing it again now. This was abandonment...as surely as it had been before, and only an admission from his deepest self would suffice to express just what was happening in these moments.
The mother of his children, the one who was fading away from life now and dragging them with him...and somehow...he was taking pieces of 'Ros as well. "No...you can't DO this, Hikuzu!" Yes...that was panic...it could not be called anything but.
"Please, Baby..." His lips, warm and velvety soft brushed Hikuzu's own, the one from which he wished to hear words of reassurance...anything really...to come back... "I need you to come back...I need you to be ok..."
"Please..." Oh gods...had the other changed him so much? 'Ros rather supposed so, judging by hot liquid that was running down his cheeks. He had not cried in years...years...and look what was happening now. "Don't you dare leave on me, Hikuzu...you see what you do to me?" He'd used that phrase before, but now it's meaning was entirely different, and more precious still.
"Hiku...I love you...don't you dare ******** go."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 11:57 am
Changing as the seasons, his mind's landscape changed yet again. With a splash of water he was thrown into the ocean. An ocean in which he was clasped tightly in and bound up by tears. Tears and mumbled words and a life that tugged on his own. Two lives, begging for him to live. And then, a third, the sweetest and most gorgeous of all: 'Ros's life. The strings of his heart were a game for the puppet masters but these people killed those masters and gave him the strings, gave them with a promise. He had to live.
To live. There was nothing to live for. His world was shattered. Couldn't they see the broken pieces? Indeed as he thought it, the world broke again, just like glass. It was simply tragic. There seemed to be no reprieve but finally he was so scared that he opened his eyes and felt the warmth of a body against his. Blurred vision was taunting him and he reached out, brushing the coon's face and feeling tears. He withdrew his hands quickly, startled and then gasped out, "'Ros?"
His life was hanging on a very thin string but suddenly it seemed there was hope. He had to believe he wasn't dreaming. Begging his eyesight and touch to be right. Was that his precious coon? That warm body was that of the other's? His other half. The one whom he secretly loved? It had to be. Had to be that precious person who he thought had left him. It couldn't be true though! Was it possible the other had finally returned to him?
The room stopped spinning, and through his fever he saw the other's face and heard his pleas, and the tears from his eyes flowed harder then ever. His vision blurred for another reason and then a small smile haunted his lips. Had 'Ros really said the one thing he'd been dying to hear for so very long? Had he said he loved Hikuzu? If his mind was playing a final trick, he wanted to live it up until the very end. The end he knew would soon come if this fever could not break. But the other was more then enough to make him hopeful and enough to try to force himself to become colder if only to see the other clearly once more.
"'Ros..." His smiled brightened, letting the 'trick' please him, "...I may be dreaming but... it's so good to see your face... it's funny that I'm indulging myself in words I've always wanted to hear... always wanted to say... I love you. I love you 'Ros... so much. Too much. It hurts..." He laughed again, a scary laugh that quickly died in the hoarseness of his throat. He was slowly fading, unable to believe the reality next to him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:14 pm
A part of him wanted to shake him...tell him he was being an idiot...that he was giving up on something that was by no means as hopeless as he thought it. "Hikuzu! Damn you!" Gods in a minute he was going to snap and start shaking the other like a ragdoll, but he still had enough calm left to know just how bad an idea that was.
"You're not hallucinating, ******** said it...and I meant it and if you leave me then..." A nearly crazed sort of look passed across his face, and he blinked...trying to will the words he needed to come to his lips...slide off of his tongue. "I'll go too...you've done this to me, Hikuzu...I'm shattered...and I've found that at the core of it all...I love you..."
A pained wince, and he was seeking the other's gaze again, bleary crimson orbs that were still his beacon of hope. "I'm here...I'm here...I'm real...I came back for you and you're the only one I'd ever do it for so don't go, beautiful...you'll take everything with you...our children...my heart...and all that I have left of a soul...Please, Hikuzu...you wish to remain with me, do you not?"
Don't abandon me...don't leave me...don't betray everything... "Don't you leave me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:25 pm
Was this real? The words sounded in his ears and they shook him. They were loud and resounding and his blood red eyes opened wider, trying to will away the blur. Features slowly cleared behind the face of his existance and the tears stopped from pure shock. It was reality. It was truth. It was pain. It was his fault. Suddenly all the aches of his body came back and he realized how much he was hurting physically and mentally and then he clung to the coon.
It was weak, but it was a sign of life. A will. The one to live. It was a burning desire as if he'd struck a match. It was heating up into a grand fire on which many marshmallows should be roasted in joyous celebration. There was some begging in his movement, begging to be held and begging to be cradled and kept in the other's strong arms as he had done so many times.
"Oh gods... 'Ros..." He coughed, still so very sick. His face buried into the other's chest, "You came back... oh gods you came back.... I don't want to leave your side ever again... I love you... don't leave me ever again... never. Please never..." He was shaking. Not from relapse, but from sobs. His body was distraught with them as he returned to reality and suffered from all the things he'd missed. Welcome back from the edges of oblivion, dearest troubadour.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:42 pm
A wash of relief spread through him...a tangible feeling not unlike the flood of emotion before it, but calming...allowing him to be strong, as he so desperately needed to be. Desperation was past, and he could rebuild...but this time...he was not alone in this fortress. "I'm not leaving...I promised I'd come back...didn't I? Gods, Love...I've never been so frightened in my life..."
He was admitting things...his weakness...he would never have bared thoughts and soul to anyone before now...it was a symbol of how much the other meant to him. "I love you too...I promise...just get better, Hikuzu...do that for me...and I'll stay with you..." One tender kiss after another was pressed to the singer's temple...and forehead...and lips...and just whatever was within 'Ros' range. "And we'll have a family instead of just being bedpartners..."
How could their relationship remain the same, when it obviously held so much signifigance to both of them. No...it was time to brush the dust off the roses and break out the romance.
Well...when Hikuzu felt better of course, but that was indeed the coon's intention. Make up for all of the grief and the distance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:01 pm
"I'm sorry," Hikuzu whispered. Already it was easier to breath, easier to see and easier to live. His life was being fed to him on a thread which he was quickly gobbling down. If the other wanted him to promise back, then he would've, but he barely had room to speak, let alone the energy to do so. He didn't want to interupt this for anything. Nothing in the world could keept them apart now, not when they'd decided to be a family together. Something more then just friends having some form of comfort in sexual entertainment.
For the longest time he had yearned for such things and had never known how much until this moment. He let 'Ros shower him in those kisses because he'd missed them and his body craved them. "Yes... yes... I want to be your lover. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be so much more to you. I want you to be with me and only me forever 'Ros..." He weakly kissed the other, letting the other be the strength he didn't have.
However, things would not get better if he didn't eat. In fact, they could get worse. He was starving himself and their children and it was wrong. "'Ros?" He questioned softly, hating himself for doing this, "I'll get better I promise but... I can't unless I ... try to eat... or else what family will we have? I've starved our children long enough..." He was quiet and meek with these requests, feeling so awkward for the moment. It was a day he'd waited for for eternity and all he could do was sit in bed and ask his coon to get him food because he was sick of starving himself and their children. His embaressment was hinted by the blushes of red about his cheeks. He was still feverish though he tried to fight it but at least he was able to breath and the blush could be told from the fever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 12:32 am
It was like a puzzle piece in his life falling into place...completing him...the barriers between them had been erased...deleted and the recycle bin emptied...they weren't coming back, vanished forever so long as he had Hikuzu by his side. "So'm I..." For having to leave...for not admitting these feelings sooner...for all of the pain and grief they'd endured...that they had unwittingly caused one another.
Claiming lips in earnest this time, a promise and the turn of a key in a lock... "Forever, my little troubadour...I will give you my forever, the eternal hold on me." One of those wry smiles that 'Ros was so infamous for crossed his face. "Does it please you as much as it pleases me?"
"Yes...you had better promise." He replied, tapping the other on the nose, and then leaning down so that he could situate his lover amongst the sheets and pillows, propping him up a bit with infinite care. "Now...I believe I saw something as I came in...the twins are more thoughtful than I gave them credit for. So hold on just a moment, my lovely songbird, and I'll have you sustenence so that no one in this room expires via the domino effect..." And the coon slipped away, but not before bestowing yet another of those infinitely tender kisses.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2007 11:09 pm
If life was like that of a computer, it could be taken apart and rearranged and repaired. It could be destroyed and file erased. The world could not be deleted like a file and the puzzle pieces of the mind were things of fragile extremities that existed only in the minds of the significants. But who was to decide who was what and such? There was to be no higher being who could decide your fate. Fate was yours and yours alone to choose and with only one appealing choice before the musical angel fox's very eyes, he clung to it desperately.
Yes. 'Ros was his choice. The claim upon his lips was so much more then a kiss; it was their souls touching, familiarizing themselves. It was life anew. It was not the end but a beautiful brand new beginning. The dawn of all that was and all that would ever be was occuring in this single moment between their lips and as those lips pulled apart, it was only for soft words to reinforce the feelings. Words escaped the troubadour and the title of 'my little troubadour' was one that only 'Ros may call him for he would never answer another.
Did this please him? Yes. There was nothing else in the world that pleased him more. It seemed, with each passing second, that the answer to the whole world was yes. Yes. Yes. Yes! The world was filled with it now ands overflowing. Nothing seemed finite and nothing seemed impossible for they were soaring amongst their highest dreams.
The other made promises he could believe and when he got up to get something Hikuzu no longer feared that the other would not return. It was impossible. They were so caught together that distance was a silly mortal thing, and the barriers of reality didn't exist. Time was just as silly and life was worth living. Hands caressed his stomach and in silence he waited, breathless and in slight pain. There was nothing to be said for all was implied.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2007 12:14 pm
He had been right in thinking that he had observed certain articles at the door, and it pleased him that he did not have to exert himself in actually cooking up something, though he would have if the situation demanded it. But it was in his nature to be somewhat lazy and self-serving when it came to others, and only for Hikuzu would he transcend those self-placed boundaries.
However...it would need to be heated up. So he went in search of the microwave, tossing his lover a wink as he left the room...a wordless promise to be right back. Naturally he knew the location of the microwave, knowing Hikuzu's place as well as he knew his own...the layout of the rooms and where salt and pepper were placed and every little oddity and eccentricity that made this place Hikuzu's and not some signifigance-less abode.
The refrigerator was raided so that he could find juice...yes...juice would be good and it was something that the angelic fox should probably start out with. So he punched the buttons on the microwave, poured a glass full of the translucent liquid, and sauntered off to offer it to his troubadour.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
