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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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 Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:15 pm
But just as he was flinging the door open to storm out, there stood Jess, hand poised to knock and a surprised look on her face. "Ah! Surprised me there..." She chuckled, stepping back a bit. "I was about to call a cab when I realized I must ahve left my-" She saw her phone in his hand and smiled.
"Ah. There it is... I swear I'm just so absentminded... " herwords trailed off. something was wrong.
"..everything ok?" She furrowed her brow and reached out to touch him.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:21 pm
Where was he to even begin?
"I... took a picture on your phone to surprise you and..." he started, but the anger cut off any sweet intro he would give to spare her the harshness.
"You haven't been studying, have you?" he asked, and yet again, his anger cut him right off. "You know what, I'll answer that. No, you haven't. You've been partying, and lying to me for weeks, and it's all on this phone."
He sounded hurt and angry as he took her wrist. With her hand pulled in front of her, he placed the phone screen side up where she could see all the photos staring back at her. Alex's was at the very end.
It almost made him laugh how appropriate that was.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:31 pm
Jess froze. He had never taken that tone with her before. Though as he spoke and grew angry, she panicked. She flinched when he grabbed her and almost didnt look at the pictures. Though once she did she couldnt take her eyes off them. She hardly even remembered some of the nights on there, though did remember the massive headaches the next day all too well.
"Alex I-" She shook her head, her eyes wide and pleading though guilty. She hadn't meant to keep this all form him. She at first didnt thikn it'd be such a big deal going out with friends to escape the world, but it had gotten a bit too carried away. She had lied to him. And the look of hurt and pain on his face broke her heart...
"It's not what you think-" She tried to explain though really had no excuse for herself.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:35 pm
"Then what am I supposed to think? That all those nights you spent "studying" and "cramming," the headaches, you being sick and tired all the time, that's all supposed to be true when I see all these?" His hand hit the phone softly in her hand, before being jammed in his pocket.
"Jess, come on! I thought you weren't that girl with her boobs hanging out of her shirt anymore! I thought you'd gotten over this stupid need to get yourself into trouble!"
It was true. He'd never taken that tone with her before, and he hoped he'd never have to again. But things would only get better if he got an explanation instead of that scared and guilty look she suddenly had.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:44 pm
She jumped a bit, clenching the phone in her hands, suddnly feeling angry on top of her fear and guilt. "Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do!?" She snapped back, her eyes watering.
"What does it matter?! Its just some music, dancing and a few drinks! Its not like I...slept around or anything!" She threw her hands up, feeling suddenly defensive, feeling as if thats what he was hinting at. She knew lying to him wasnt right but felt at the moment he didnt have a right to be upset with her. She did nothing wrong, so why was he so upset?
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:50 pm
"Because you've been sick!" he nearly roared back. "You've been sulking around, tired and miserable, you've been failing your classes, and you've been lying to me, as I sit here trying to figure out what it was I did wrong or what I needed to change to make you happy!"
Alex stepped aside from the door frame, gesturing inside at the dying candles and food still left out.
"I've been trying so damn hard, but all you'd say was something about school and not feeling well, when really, you were out getting hammered with your friends!"
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 5:56 pm
She swallowed hard her eyes becoming dark adn distant as she gazed at the candles and half empty wine glasses. Her body stiffened.
"I dont have to tell you everything...." Her breathing became shallow as tears formed. "Maybe-....Maybe I knew you wouldn't like it... But that's just me-...Thats who I am." She looked up at him evenly, brow furrowed.
"If you dont like it-" She closed her eyes to keep herself from crying, her voice already cracking.
"There are some things you cant change Alex...." She looked down for a moment before meeting his eye again. "I guess I'm one of them...I'm sorry I'm not up to your standards." Her eyes took on a hurt, venom as she stood her ground.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 6:03 pm
"Don't tell me some things don't change." His voice was tipped in the very same venom hers was, not that he liked it or savored it. "Who was it saying how much better they were doing since we started going out, who said it was the best thing in their life? Who said they were happy? It was you, and now you're lying because you can't talk to me about something, when you know that I'm right here!"
And there it was, he realized. The real problem.
"God, I've been right here this whole damn time, but that's not good enough or whatever your excuse is... If anyone had standards, it should have been you."
Maybe that was harsh, but Alex was a slum kid after all. He was just happy he'd manage to land such a wonderful girlfriend. He was just trying to be the best he could be for her, but she had been lying.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:29 am
That stung her just a bit. "It's not that you aren't good enough Alex- In truth you're far too good for me..." Her eyes were brimming with tears, the anger stilll insdie her but a bit more controled. The guilt however, was welling back up.
"I just...God I didnt mean for it to get this far!" She looked up at him, feeling asif everything was crumbling around them. "I just...Things have been gettin tough...so i though just one night out would make it go away..." She rubbed her head tiredly, tears starting to flow. "But it wasnt enough so I kept going back...more nad more...I didnt tell you because I was afraid..." Soft sobs started up. "I was afraid you'd be disappointed..that you'd see me as the trash I am and wouldn't want me anymore-" She cried into her hands, feeling lightheaded from her heaving.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:40 am
Alex took her suddenly by the shoulders and shook her slightly. It wasn't violent, but a slight little shake to get her to pull herself together.
"Trash? You aren't trash! I'm the guy who came from nothing, I'm the one working my tail off to keep my head above water 'cause I don't have any other choice! You're beautiful, you're smart, and I love every bit of you--"
He stopped.
He'd said the 'l' word. It had just come so naturally to him that nothing had registered in his brain to stop it. Alex stared at her, looking frightened of what would happen next. Should he apologize? No, he wasn't the least bit sorry for how he felt. He just didn't know what would happen next.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:55 am
Jess froze, her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Love...Love? Did he just utter such a thing?
She pulled away from his hold slightly as an awkward silence set in. "Y-you...-?" She blinked, staring down at the ground before stepping back.
Should she walk away? Be upset, be happy? embrace him? She didnt really know...
Though in all the awkwardness, she pulled awayfrom him more and more, until she was a full foot or so away. Part of her said to run. To just turn around and walk away, while the other begged her to run forward to catch him in a hug.
"M-maybe I s-should go-" Her words were so soft, and barely audible as she numbly attempted to take another step away which she wasnt sure she could physically do...
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:00 pm
He'd really done it now.
"Yeah... night..." he said, more as a mumble, but he, too, was that fight or flight instinct. He mimicked her steps away further into his own apartment until his hand was on the door. He'd close it once she was out of sight.
Weren't couples supposed to rejoice in love? So why were they terrified?
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