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 Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:40 pm
*laughs* That's a great one! And more importantly, one I havn't heard of yet. razz
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:44 pm
Toddlers creed:
If I want it, it is mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it is mine.
If I can take it away from you, it is mine.
If it is mine, it will never belong to anyone else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:24 pm
eek i have many feelings now. as such: whee gonk sweatdrop xd 3nodding
explaination- LOL! so funny. ... that's terrible and mean!... *sigh* to true.... OMG SO TRUE... yup thats about right.
domokun
this aint a joke- but that remined me of this-
i'll share your toys, I'll share your money,
I'll share your toast, I'll share you honey
I'll share you milk and you cookies too,
The hard pasrt's sharing mine with you.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 7:10 pm
LOLOLOL! Ya, that one sounds better. whee Wow...little kids are great!
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 9:56 am
This is something that we childcare people find hilariouse, I wanna see if anyone else enjoys it. ^.^
A woman was on the play ground watching some children. They asked her to push the merry go round, and so she comes over. They laugh, they have fun, and eventually, she jumps on with the children. They get to talking, and the woman learns that they're siblings. She asks them what they will be when they grow up, and the oldest says "I'm going to be a body guard!!" The 2nd oldest says "I'm going to be a safarie driver and bring people to see lions and tigers and stuff!" The youngest child looked at his borther and sister, and then looked at the lady. He smiled and said "I know, I know what I"m going to be!!!" The lady grinned. "And what is that? A fireman?" "No." The child repleyd. "I'm gunna be an only child!"
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:29 pm
>.< Okay, I'm finding some good jokes...and since this is the joke thread, I'll just post them as I find them. ^.^ I hope I"m not posting too much..... sweatdrop
911
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.
''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"
"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:30 pm
Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:32 pm
Another Dumb Blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:40 pm
Bad Blondes, Whatcha Gonna Do?
A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.
"Are their lights on?"
The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor.
Blond Restroom Attendant
Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom attendant job?
A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:42 pm
Blonde - Contractor
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, ''Greenside up.'' The lady is a little confused, but doesn't say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, ''I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark.'' The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, ''Greenside up!'' The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, ''I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here.'' The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, ''Greenside up.'' The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, ''Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?'' The contractor replies, ''You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street.''
sweatdrop Sorry they're all blond jokes....I'm not particularly fond of those kind, but these ones made me laugh. >.<
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:44 pm
Blonde - Death in the Family
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
''I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!''
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:40 pm
Geba Geba Geba. LOL someone who didn't know you would swear that you hate blondes. blaugh
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 6:55 pm
OMG ROTFLMFAO! again anf again and *dies* x_x
*goes to heaven, gets kcik out and haunts Geba* U KILLED ME! gonk now i shall haunt you. domokun
but seriously those are great. blonde jokes NEVER get old. and that one with the contractor- ive never heard it, so it was all the more SO funny. xp
the ventriliquist one gets me EVERY time. ^^
and i used to be blonde, so i don't see why some people take them as derogatory, they're just in fun. ^^
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Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:43 pm
t0paz Geba Geba Geba. LOL someone who didn't know you would swear that you hate blondes. blaugh I was weeding out the good from the bad on this one site, and the catagory I happend to be weeding was blond. xd sorry! blaugh
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:03 am
A young acolyte took an oath of silence to pass the trials of becomeing a monk. Once a year, he was allowed to write a single word on a slate to show what his meditations were about. The first year passed slowly for the boy, but finally, one day, the head monk came to him with a slate, and the boy took the chalk and carfully inscribed the word "THE" upon the slate. The monk left him, and the boy spent the next year in much the same way, in prayer and meditation, devotions, and complete silence. Finally, another year had passed, and once again, the head monk came to him with his slate. Upon the black surface, the boy slowly and carfully wrote the word "FOOD" next to his word from last year. The next year was the hardest, and many times the boy almost spoke, but his zeal for becomeing a monk kept him silent, and finaly, he was summoned to the Great Hall, were all the monks had gathered to witness his final word, which would indecate his level of enlightenment. Trembling with anticipation, the young monk climbed the stares to the head monk, who held the slate, and took the piece of chalk in his hand. Slowly, carefully, the boy wrote his word "STINKS" and then turned to face the watching monks, now a monk himself. The head monk blinked at the fraze, then turned to the boy. "You've been here for 3 years, and all you've done is complain!"
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