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What is red and green and goes 100 miles an hour?

A frog in a blender!

xd

XDDDD:

Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?

he plays with Pooh!

(If you don't get it, ask a child stare They'd figure it out in a skinny minute, with their awesomely perverted minds and such.. heart )

Oh oh oh! I have one!

Alright so like..
*ahem*

A man walks into an irish pub one day and orders three pints of beer, and wants them all at once. He sits and drinks them, a sip from each in order until they're gone, despite the odd looks he's getting. When he's done, he calls to the bartender for three more pints of beer. The bartender is perplexed, and asks him if he wouldn't prefer to get one at a time, and just keep them coming, since that way they'd stay colder and carbonated longer. The man replies that he wants all three, and proceeds to explain why. He tells the bartender that he has two brothers, and they've recently all split apart and gone to different countries to live, and they had agreed that whenever they went to drink, they'd each get three pints and drink them, so that it would be like old times when they were all drinking together. Well, everyone listening is quite touched by this story, and no one bothers him about it again. They even tell newcomers the story because it is so interesting, and the man becomes a frequent customer.
This continues for several years, a few times a week, the man would come in, and he'd always drink three pints at a time in honor of his two brothers.
One day the man walks in, sits in his usual spot, and orders only two pints. The entire room goes quiet and somber, trying not to stare at the man. He sips his two pints slowly as he had done the three for years before. Finally the barkeep goes up to him and tells him he would just like to say on behalf of the pub how sorry he is for his terrible loss. The customer looks confused and asks him what he means. The bartender, feeling pity at the man's still evident shock, replies that he feels deep sorrow for the loss of the man's brother. The man continues to look confused for a moment, and then looks at the pints before him, and a light of understanding comes into his eyes.
"Oh no! My brothers are both fine!" he says. "It's just that I've quit drinking!"

What's long and sticky?













a stick.

Yay for jokes I heard in 6th grade!

Ok, so there is this monestary with 100 nuns and one mother superior.
One day the mother superior calls all the nuns to have a seriours announcement. When they are all there, she says, horrified, "There was a man in the women's dormatories last night!"
99 nuns gasp, and one giggles.
She goes on to say, "We found his clothing!"
99 nuns gasp, and one giggles.
Then she announces, still more horrified, "we found a condom!"
99 nuns gasp, and one giggles.
She looks infuriated as she says, "It was USED!"
99 nuns gasp, and one giggles.
She then looks at the gathered nuns and says in her most serious tone yet....
"There was a HOLE IN IT!"
99 nuns giggle, and one gasps.

(oh yeah, we thought we were totally risque with that one!)

i got a similiar one, wats brown and sticky???



-a stick

JoKeSR LyK Te H AwSuMzOrZ!11!!1 LoLzOrZ!1121!1