[Journal]~Awen Zyn~Special Aquatic Duplex #1~

[Awen Zyn]

...*Blink*

Awen walked towards the edge of town. She just wanted to get out of the place where people might possibly be. The jungle was easier to slip into and get lost in. The village big open space where....people could see and... Kim had been an unexpected visit, what could he say though? She had tried to play it cool but...failed miserably she was sure.

Awen sighed heavily. "What a day..." She grumbled.

Perhaps in sight, perhaps not...Jamal was outside today also, but he was in a slightly better mood than Awen, for obvious reasons. At the moment he was catching his breath after a long string of fancy basketball drill work, clad his usual tank and a pair of baggy shorts but without his headwrap. He felt like a bit of exercise might take his mind off things so after the chat with Anjali, he had stopped at his place to get his ball and went straight for the makeshift court he had set up at the fringes of the town; done so to allow him to play ball at night and not disturb anyone and to also get away from the general population.

He didn't see Awen, as his back was turned while he stood there and wiped sweat from his brow, nor did he hear her.

Awen froze seeing Jamal's basketball court. She had forgotten where he made it, but that wasn't the bad part. The thing was Jamal was standing right there. Awen's blood froze, but she got hot at the same time. What was she going to do...? How was she going to tell....? She looked around for cover, but the closest thing was the jungle and the other way was back to town. Awen contemplated just going back and locking herself in her room....

What good would that do? Eventually she'd have to go out. Eventually she'd have to show....

But she felt so strange now. So different from Jamal. She was no longer...human exactly. She knew she wasn't as bad off as someone like Hargun but.... Hargun isn't involved with Jamal now was she? Awen sighed heavily. She brushed her bangs trying to have them cover the horny thingie and stepped forward. "H-hey Jamal." She smiled trying to seem normal.

Jamal turned, a mischievious grin plastered on his face as he did so, hearing the familiar voice call his name. "Hey shorty, there you is," he mock-berated as she came into view. "I figgered you be sick o' sumthin'..."

The rest of his sentence sort of died away as he immediately saw the dark patches on her shoulders and arms and his eyes narrowed immediately in suspicion. Were those bruises? What the hell... His gaze lifted quickly to her face, looking for a hint or a sign as to what the hell had happened; the little knobby parts on her forehead weren't immediately noticed as she had done a decent job at covering them.

Concern drew itself plainly on his face as he started to close the distance between them, brows knit in concern. "You a'ight?"

Awen rubbed her arm a little bit, flinching a bit at the still tender grey skin. She tried to give Jamal a smile. Cut right to the quick, didn't he? She wavered a little bit, almost taking a step back but thinking better of it. "Y-yeah... I'm okay really."

She looked down at the ground a moment before looking up at the big man as she cleared that last bit of significant distance. Her smiled sort of failed but she hadn't looked away. She rolled her shoulders a bit. "No worries, hm?"

Jamal peered at Awen closely, a hesitant smile on his face but he was unable to hold back his apprehension. Something wasn't right.

"Awen," he drawled, lifting a hand to trace the air above one dark shoulder patch, looking her in the eyes with the same apprehensive look. "It look like ya got the s**t beat outta ya..." The statement sounded more like a question in the way it hung in the air. Dark skin alone wasn't enough for him to realize that she'd transformed; he'd yet to see the knobs or her tail.

She blinked a little bit. Hadn't he noticed...? He must not have.... Awen let out a short almost bitter laugh. "You could say that..."

She hesitated a moment. She tilted her head down and slowly brushed the hair away from her forehead and tried to stick it behind her ear. Of course her hair was too short and just fell back into place, there was definately enough time to see... Awen bit her lip a little bit. She didn't think she could say it but just...let him see.

Jamal's hand dropped to his side as he saw the protrusions on her forehead and he blanced visibly, eyes darting quickly now from the skin patches to the faint outlines of the knobs behind a curtain of hair in quick succession. The bumps...they were too perfect and symmetric to be simple goose eggs from a blow to the head, which would have fit with her getting her a** kicked by someone.

"No..." he said abruptly, head shaking violently, a clearly pained look spreading over his features. He'd just been talking to Anjali about how Awen hadn't changed...and now this? The irony was bitterly obvious. "Don't say it..."

For the first time, besides from the pain of it, Awen felt like crying. Tears welled to her eyes hearing his shock. She remembered the way Jamal had been in her dream. She didn't want to look. She'd see that grimace, that wrinkle of disgust. She knew if she looked up...

But she looked up anyway. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing... no words came. Her mouth worked trying to will the words but nothing happened so she just shut it. She just nodded a little bit. Well....he had said not to say it....

The black man wasn't so good at tact and he should have known she'd take his reaction poorly but he couldn't help it. A heavy shiver flew down his spine as he stared at her, his hands shaking faintly against the material of his shorts.

She knew.... she knew she shouldn't have.... She should have just skirted around the court and went into the woods. She breathed heavily as the tears trailed down her cheeks. She shouldn't have coem to Jamal. She knew.... she knew he would be...be....sick of her.

"I'm sorry..." She choked out and tore passed him and moved towards the trees. Her vision blurred as she crashed through the bushes. This was definately not a good combination of things... a little ways in, still visible to Jamal, she tripepd over...over... she didn't see what. She just fell to the forest floor and didn't get up. She sobbed softly and hit her fist against the ground. Stupid stupid....she was so stupid.

And this was all her fault.

Jamal sort of stood there in a statueque manner, almost in a daze as she uttered her forced apology and darted away towards the safety of the trees, a pounding taking to his ears now as blood rushed to his face in a sudden indignant anger that swept his body. Not at her, but at the beasts that had done this to her...and to himself. He hadn't meant to make her more upset than she obviously was but he couldn't have known of her injection-induced nightmare. He was pretty much struck dumb at this point. He didn't know how to handle this. It was easy if it was someone he didn't know that well.

As she tumbled carelessly to the ground, he moved immediately after her, guilt rising in his chest as she beat the earth and refused to move from the leaf litter and dirt upon which she lay. She hadn't gotten far, which was probably good because if she hadn't fallen, he might have just let her go to cry herself to exhaustion, thinking she probably needed it.

He reached her within a few breaths and knelt next to her. A hand hesitantly wavered over her back, almost as if he was afraid to touch her. "Shorty..." he whispered, forcing his anger away to a time when it was proper to deal with it. Anger certainly wasn't going to help right now.

She crossed her arms and buried herface in her arms. What could she say to him? How could he even understand? She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut. She peeked out from her arms adn noticed his arm out, his hand must be somewhere over her back. But he wasn't touching.... She got a bit sour with that and stuffed her face back into her arms.

"I'm not contagious!" She said in a dull but none to happy tone. Anger certainly wasn't going to help but... it was just building. She knew it wasn't to him, but... she sighed again heavily. "Sorry..." She mumbled, her voice even more muffled by her arms.

It wasn't that he was worried she was contagious, but he didn't know if he might hurt her or something. And if he touched her, this would make it so much more real. He wanted to desperately believe this wasn't happening, but that was definately a stupid thing to think after all that has happened on this god forsaken island.

"Come 'ere," he said, almost in a command, after a long pause after her murmured apology, the hovering hand now gently wrapping about one arm.

She shivered softly but she was too numbed to really refuse his command. She sat up to her knees and shuffled close. She leaned against him softly still trembling. She had figured the whole contagious comment hadn't gone over right. She knew he probably wasn't as dense to suspect that she was contagious... but he hadn't wanted to touch her and it was one of those comments....

"I'm sorry...." She said softly, almost a whisper.

"Now what in da hell you be sorry fo," he said firmly, though it was done completely for her favor, not his own. His ears still pounded unpleasantly and again that mild sick-to-stomach sensation rose in his belly. "You ain't got nuthin' ta be sorry 'bout."

He sat back, still kneeling, and tugged her carefully into his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder and neck. She was shaking so badly...

"I didn't mean to snap at you..you...you don't deserve it." She said softly. "I shouldn't take...it out on you." She nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder, but her little knobs bumped against his neck. She stopped imidiately. She was silent for a long him before she whispered something.

"I'm getting gills..... fish, Jamal, fish..."
"...a fish?"

He couldn't help but look down at her when she broke this news, his gaze wandering against his better judgement to her neck, searching for...

Oh my god. There they were, standing just beneath the light curtain of hair that lightly draped against her neck as she curled next to him. A fish...she was becoming A FISH. The one thing that she had feared the most and those bastards were doing this to her? Of all the things they could have chosen, they had to do a goddamn, ******** FISH.

The pounding in his ears roared now as he clenched his jaw so hard that pain shot across it and his teeth ached with the pressure. The sensation of pins and needles prickled at the back of his neck as he tensed, his skin flushing warm as he forced himself to remain composed. Those bastards...that ******** b*****d Moreau...

It was a good thing for the staff on the island that his gun had been stripped out of his bag when he was first brought to the island, because he would have up and stalked off to the labs and shot the place up every which way and not cared what happened afterwards.

Jamal tried to focus on the situation at hand, but had no idea what to say. He was hardly the comforting sort and hell, he had no idea what this was like, at least yet. What could he say?

She nodded a little bit when he asked. She looked up at him and frowned softly. She placed a hand gently on his cheek. "It's....it's okay. Don't worry, okay? I..I mean...when this is over..we can go to the beach together, like you wanted to hm?" She gave hima weak smile.

She really didn't know what to say either but..he looked like he was going to blow a gasket and she didn't think that was a very good plan.

"No, this ain't okay," Jamal said in forced quiet, his voice nearly vibrating with anger as he spoke, eyes closed only because he knew he'd be glaring otherwise. "Ain't nuthin' 'bout this okay."

Her strained attempt at being nonchalant only made him exhale heavily and open his eyes again. The focus of his eyes was very pointed and harsh, which looked vaguely ominous when paired with his brown eyes. "I ain't carin' if we neva' go ta da ********' beach if this s**t ain't happenin'. This ain't 'bout me 'n what I be wantin'."

She recoiled her hand and looked up at him through still watery purple eyes. "Jamal..." She murmured.

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She nuzzled his cheek, being careful not to ...poke him in the eye or something with the horn thingies. "Maybe so...but... I want to be cured of this phobia.... and... I'm going to be." She slipped a hand to his arm and slid down until she was holding his hand.

"And...I'm glad I met you from all of this. The... only thing we can do is...you know make the best of it, right?"

She really was still shakey about this whole thing, nd definately not as optimistic as she sounded... but Jamal was really upset and she had to calm him down. She didn't like that look in his eyes, even if it was for her protection and benefit she didn't like him so...angry.

"s**t, they wanna cure yo' phobia, dat be fine wit' me, but -not- like this. This ain't right. Ain't right at all. Takin' a'vantage o' peeps like this," he all but snarled, the fury still very evident in his voice and in the gleam of his eyes. It was unlikely he'd be easily twarted from anger so easily. Sure, he could hide it maybe, which he was trying so hard to do, but it was still circulating in his mind, making him ache with the urge to act on the various violent thoughts that tempted him so badly.

But, for now, he wouldn't get up from his position on the jungle floor. He would have time later to think things through properly and to do whatever it was that he decided to do. Instead, he wrapped his free arm securely behind her back in a very posessive manner and squeezed her hand with the other. "They ain't got no idea...they ain't gonna mess wit' me o' my shorty and not 'spect nuthin' ta happen." There was a finality to his voice that barely masked the contempt he felt for the entire staff of the island.

Awen just sank into his grip and fell silent. She didn't know what to say to all of that. Certainly she wasn't happy with this, yes she was angry. But she was worried about Jamal. What was he going to do... The Doctor was smart and befriended Lauren right away but to Jamal, Moreau wasn't high on his list of buddies.

The reason for Jamal coming to the island flashed through Awen's min briefly. No... no that was an accident. He said it was an accident. He wouldn't....no. No. He wouldn't.

Awen looked up at him. "And what do you plan to do Jamal?" She frowned a little bit with a sterner voice. "The Dude punched the Doctor and what good did that do anyone? The only thing I saw that happened was anything the Dude liked was taken away. What good did it do?" She didn't mean to be getting on his back but he really she needed to make him think. "And how are you going to do it? Waltz right into the main building and what, demand to see Moreau so you can beat the crap out of him? Jamal..."

She sighed heavily and lost any heat in her tone. "He's not a stupid man.... He's tricked all these people and made all this, he's not stupid. Don't you think he would have expected people to be angry...planned for enventualities?"

"I ain't sure yet," he said honestly without any sort of caution to his voice. "Gotta think 'bout it." He was a stubborn man when he wanted to be and could be overzealous and irrational as well at any given time. It had been awhile since this part of him had surfaced; the fear of the unknown had ruled his being for most of his time here and he was only recently becoming adjusted to all of this. Jamal did not looked worried, in any case, just determined and angry.

"What he gonna take away from me that gonna bother me any? s**t...if I can get at 'em n' kick his ********' a**, you think Imma care none if they take ma' basketball o' whateva? It be worth it to me."

The comment of the doctor not being a stupid man was entirely debatable in Jamal's thinking. In the black man's eyes, the doc was damn near a dumbass for thinkin' that Jamal wasn't going to get angry and go apeshit at some point. A man can only take so much...

Jamal took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, eyes closing again to try and stablize his cycloning thoughts. There would be time enough to retaliate, he was sure...but now wasn't the time.

Stubborn herself she frowned up at him. She had so many lectures in her head, warnings and cautions. She wanted to tell them all, yell them all until they sunk into his braind but she didn't think it would help any. She narrowed her eyes for a moment up at him.

She sighed heavily and took on a concerned tone. "I just.... Just don't want to see you hurt... I've heard rumours..." She paused a second. "After I left the party, and some arguements....wehn the Doc was walking out he said a word and made the Dude pass out on the spot." She shifted a little bit. "Who...who knows what he can do Jamal? I... don't want to see you hurt."

This was enough to give Jamal pause, his eyes narrowing sharply as she spoke.

"Da doc made 'im pass out?" he repeated in a manner that was very much disbelieving, yet at the same time Jamal took it to be a very serious threat. He would not discredit anything now...not after all that had happened. That revelation did stem some of his flooding anger, causing him to physically relax a little.

She nodded a little bit, feeling his tension relax. "Yeah..." She said softly and curled into him. "I don't know what else he can do just at a command Jamal... All the Dude did was punch him...the look in your eye says that you'd wanna do a whole lot more than punch the Doc." She frowned a bit concerned up at him. "I really...don't want you hurt..."

Jamal looked Awen in the eyes wordlessly for a few breaths, his expression dark and brooding intensely until he finally gave a deep, rumbling sigh and rested his cheek against the top of her head. "Don't worry 'bout me," he said in the most level tone he had managed the entire meeting. "I been through tough hit b'fo...this ain't no diff'rent." He didn't understand why she was so worried for him...she should be worried about herself right now. This tranformation was -her- problem that she had to be okay with. Jamal wasn't the one who was becoming a fish (or so he hoped).

"Maybe...." She said softly. "But....nothing like this. He could... he could kill you with a command maybe?"

Awen just rested against him. She was worried for herself but the thought of Jamal in danger pushed the other thoughts from her mind right now. She cared for him a lot and she just couldn't bare to think what might happen to him. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and held herself close.

Jamal could tell she was worried now...he shouldn't have said anything. Even now though, he was thinking more clearly now and knew that Awen was right even though his most stubborn side didn't want to admit anything in the slightest. The doctor had to have precautions against people like him; it's not like Moreau didn't know his past either. The doctor would be downright stupid to not have every measure available for his safety.

"What do ya want me to do, shorty," he murmured quietly as he stared off into the greenery around them. The question wasn't really one that he sought an answer to, but he said it anyway.

She smiled softly and looked up to his eyes. She wasn't really sure how to answer but glad he was being a bit more sensible... She pressed her cheek against the side of his neck before kissing it a few times. She tooke a small breath and her smile widened a little bit. "I want you to kiss me..." She finally answered.

She needed to know if he wasn't completely repulsed by her. She needed to know the negative feelings were just for the Doctor.... Her dream flashed into her mind...that look of utter disgust. SHe really hoped that was jsut a dream.

That was a rather random answer that did bring a ghost of a smile to his lips. It was a better answer than her just asking him to forget about all of his potential maiming of the doctor, in any case.

"Kiss ya, hm?" he said with mock-consideration, almost as though he truely had to think about it, again unaware of her worries. "Got me goin' from wantin' to tear the doc ta pieces to dat?" He did manage a bit of a laugh before tilting his chin down and giving her what she asked for.

Awen returned the kiss softly and smiled softly. "I thought it a better alternative." She giggled softly and slowly stood up stretching. She held her hand out to him and grinned a little bit happily. "It's really not comfy on the ground anymore, hm?"

She heard the concidering tone, but she just took it as Jamal. His little jesting tone was a good sign in her books and it aliveated her worries. She was just... glad things seemed half normal again.

"Always betta'," said the black man simply in response, though he almost had to think about that one. Really, the thought of taking Moreau down with one well-placed punch or smack upside the head with a tree limb was rather pleasing.

Jamal let her get up and took the offered hand, though he didn't use it much to help him get up since he was considerably bigger than she was and probably wouldn't be so easy to tug up on his feet. Once standing straight, he dusted some of the crumpled leaf bits from his shorts while making sure Awen didn't appear hurt from her stumble earlier. "I dunno, I like da ground sometimes," Jamal quipped, trying to lighten the mood as well for her sake.

She laughed a bit. "Yeah well...me and the ground have issues." She took on a pensive look. "Come to think of it me and roots....and rocks...adn cracked sideswalks...and..yeah I have issues with all of them..."

"We'll work on it," mused Jamal aloud, tousling her hair affectionately for a moment. "Ain't really no sidewalks out herr...so dat's one thing ya got beat." He was, of course, just joking around with her, but almost expected to get hit for that.

She laughed a little bit and really did think about giving him a smack....deciding against it she just gave him a brief hug. "Really..." She rolled her eyes and smiled turning to the village. She started back slowly waiting for Jamal to follow.

Jamal smirked, looking more like his usual, nonchalant self, and followed, having to take bigger steps until he was at her side again as they left the jungle. He wondered where she was heading originally before she ran into him. To hide?...that's probably what he would have done. But now what was the plan?

"So, now dat...dat...is outta da way," he drawled, careful not to linger on it too much. "Where we be goin?"

She blinked a little bit and paused. "You know... I really don't know..." She gave him an embarassed smile.

"Too much excitement fo' one day, I be imaginin'. Hungry? Tired? I ain't really carin' none where we go. Ain't got a plan fo' the day. Was jus' playin' ball ta pass time." And get his mind off of his impending transformation that -had- to be coming soon, now that Awen had sprouted a tail, dark spotted skin, and little knobby things on her head.

"I.. don't really know I.. hadn't much of a plan either to be honest." She took his hand and smiled. "But today...hasn't been that great...." She laughed. "And that was before all of this happened." She gestured to the grey patches with her free hand. "I kinda just feel like going somewhere nice quite and safe."

"Well, we best be makin' up our mind herr soon o' we just gonna walk in circles," he remarked in a manner that insinuated that he found that idea to be faintly amusing, yet not something he was really looking to do. They were pretty much in a place where they could go in any direction and it would all be about the same, walking distance wise. "Nice, quiet, n' safe works fo' me. Ya just chose da place. I ain't picky."

Awen bit her lip softly. "My...duplex okay..?" She said in a small voice. It was her refuge, even despite what's happened.

"A'ight," he said with hardly a batted eye. "Lead on."

She smiled and lead him towards the door with 21 on the front. She opened the door to her room which was nice and dark and she left the lights off, not feeling light illuminating the place now.

Jamal carefully stepped inside, squinting a little until his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Her duplex was cleaner than his by far and smelled better for that matter, which he expected. He wasn't a big fan of picking up after himself and his place showed it on a regular basis. He hadn't been in many other duplexes and it was vaguely interesting to see how people had modified theirs to suit their tastes or whatnot. When she didn't flick the lights on immediately, a brow rose, but he figured she was calmed by the dark similarly to how he was (which was even more true as of late for some reason he didn't know).

She shut the door behind him smiling. She hadn't changed much in the duplex ecept for her little gaming section set up with her PS2 and all. "Um..so yeah." She looked around a bit. "Normally I would offer coffee or tea or something...but yeah."

Jamal snorted some. "Don't worry...had ma fill of tea earlier t'day wit' Anjali," he said with a look of mock-anguish, but winked. "Poor woman. She ain't got many friends, I don't think." Not like I got many mahself, he thought privately.

"Anjali..." Awen furrowed her brow. "Don't think I've met her yet."

"She does all da plant s**t...landscapin' I think she called it. They hired her ta do dat stuff 'n stuck 'er wit' a needle too." Jamal shook his head slightly in a regretful sort of way. "She says they gonna turn 'er inta a damn plant."

"Into a plant?" Awen frowned. She knew the Doctor was crazy, and yeah she thought she had it bad. But at least she would still be an animal. "What the heck..." She mumbled a little bit. She shook her head a little bit trying to rid herself of the worries this was causing. Was that even safe though...? She looked up at Jamal and blinked.

"Oh hey um..want a seat?"

Jamal took the invitation and sat on the edge of the bed because it was the closest place to sit and the wooden chairs really weren't all that comfortable. He knit his brows and rubbed at his chin a bit. "Yeah, a plant. She seem a'ight wit' it fo' da most part, but she been herr longa than you even and she ain't even grown a leaf on 'er." He then decided to let that sentence die away and hopefully the topic along with it unless Awen chose to inquire further. Surely she didn't want to hear about all this right now.

"Well.... I'm happy for her then." She wanted that branch of convorsation to die too, but she had to comment. She really was happy there were people on the island that had been there awhile longer and didn't change. Maybe... mayb there was still hope for Jamal. She let herself dwell on that thought for awhile before leaning down slightly and kissing Jamal.

Jamal was pretty sure that deep down, Awen really wasn't as happy for Anjali as she might claim to be, but more pressing issues were at hand, such as the fact that Awen's lips were once against locked on his own...and he certainly couldn't just ignore that, now could he?

He wrapped a hand around one of her wrists and gently tried to tug her down into his lap amidst the kiss.

She offered little to no resistance and fell...thankfully not literally this time... into his lap easily. She placed her free hand on the side of his neck. She was very happy for this.... this was normal...human... Nothing had changed...

Jamal hugged her close once she was in his lap and trailed a line of kisses along her jaw line, but was careful to not get too carried away. He wasn't expecting anything in particular to happen and certainly didn't expect this to go too far, not after last time. He knew Awen probably needed some affection though after her earlier ordeal and this would take her mind (and his own) off of less pleasant things at least for awhile.

Her fingers tickled his neck softly as she felt his lips on her jawline. She however really wasn't sure of anything but was glad for the distraction from reality.

He grinned between smooches, the tickles at his neck sending appropriate shivers down his back. "Them damn hands o' yo's always workin' their magic, I swear," he teased as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck and planted a kiss or two there.

Awen winced a little bit. His nuzzle had definately rubbed the would-be gills the wrong way. But it was quick and she didn't...think he noticed at all. She went back to smiling softly. She wasn't sure what to say to his comment at the moment so she just giggled.

Jamal hadn't thought of the gills or the fact they might be sore, but he didn't notice her wince. It didn't matter too much because he left her neck alone soon enough. He had to be careful...couldn't let things get out of control again because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stop himself this time.

She smiled and kissed his cheek softly. She took a nice long look into his eyes before she took his hand. "You're...not disgusted then..." She said softly, still gazing nto those deep dark eyes.

He laughed a dark, deep rumbly sort of laugh and lifted her hand up to kiss the back of it. "I tol' you it wasn't gonna matter none ta me what happened 'n I wasn't lyin' when I said it. Yo still Awen...ya jus' look a lil' diff'rent. Pretty soon ev'rybody gonna look a lil' diff'rent and dat's gonna be normal when dat happens."

She smiled and nodded. "I just had a really bad dream..." She ended and nuzzled her cheek against his softly. "But it doesn't matter now...."

"Bad dreams is jus' dat...bad dreams. They ain't real unless ya make 'em real yo'self," Jamal countered gently, wrapping her up in a reassuring hug. "And yo right. It ain't gonna matta' unless ya want it too. All up ta how you want things ta happen." Jamal tried to look wise and all knowing, but he just looked silly because he couldn't help but have a half-grin peek through his attempt at looking serious and knowledgeable.

She laughed at his half grin wise man act. "Speaking of things that won't happen unless I want them to..." She paused for a moment and bit her lip. Then smiled softly and leaned in against Jamal. Putting her head on her soulder. "I....well.... I do...want..um..to..."

Jamal's brow rose at her lead in, wondering what she was even talking about for...oh...maybe three seconds. A positively mischievious glint lit up his eyes as he wondered if she was getting at what he thought she was getting at.

She gave a little smile in return for his grin. "Still... still nervous mind you." She continued. "But..you know..like...ready..."

Jamal gave her a long, searching look after that statement, unsure if she was saying this just to make him happy or if she truely was at that point in her life.

She took a small breath and was open for his questioning stare. There was a hint of wanting to please Jamal in her features... after all she did want to make him happy... butthat didn't seem to be the dominant factor. Giving him a long look followed by a kiss to his nose she said "And I really mean it..."

Jamal continued to watch her carefully, but ever so slowly did his hands unlock themselves from behind her back in a hug and gently cupped her face between them, this time careful of the gills. If this is what she really wanted, then he certainly wasn't going go running the other way.

He leaned in and again their lips met, but this time it was a deeper kiss than the earlier ones. It was if he conceeded to whatever it was she was saying and would go with it provided she was sure.

Awen returned the kiss just as deeply, passionately. She wrapped her arms back around his neck and held herself close to him. She was sure... as sure as she could be. She cared for him so much....

This time, the situation felt right. He didn't feel like he was trying test any boundries or to push for more...it was finally a mutual feeling of electric nerves and desire. She was so warm and smelt so good in the tight proximity of one another that finally his resolve did break and soon his hands began their careful tracing of her figure through the fabric of her shirt.  

[Awen Zyn]

Speaking of Christmas

Chubbs couldn't sleep well, he'd been basically awake the whole time while Joliette slept. He tried but it was like he'd drunk ten cups of coffee, there was no sleeping for him, so he decided to grab some breakfast and get a quiet start before he met Ambrose in a few hours. He sat at the table with a plate of eggs, toast, bacon and sausage. Sipping his cup of tea, he enjoyed his meal and looked over the plans for the day.

Awen slinked into teh cafe. She hadn't actually eaten in awhile....hardly since the change. She was trying to avoid public places still, and ended up playing her PS2 a lot actually. But she couldn't avoid this place anymore, her stmach would kill her if she tried.
...
She wasn't sure how literal she was at that either.


She pushed open the door and noticed Chubbs sitting there. Packing for a tropical island she hadn't really thought to bring too many long sleeved shirts, and had already dirtied up the couple she brought in the passed few days. So she was stuck in her black tshirt with an orange mini vest thing. This really didn't suit because the grey patches of skin were quite visible. They did sort of look like large bruises though, as Jamal had pointed out.

Awen just moved quickly to the front and grabbed some of the breakfast foods. The egg smell sort of made her sick to her stomach so she just stuck with a few slabs of toast, strawberry jam, an apple and some orange juice.

She floated around the food line awhile wondering if she should take the food back home or.... if she should sit in the cafe. She sighed a little bit and decided if she left now she would probably hurt Chubbs' feelings. She hadn't seen him in awhile...so...

She sat down across from him. "Hey Chubbs." She said with a smile.

Chubbs looked up a bit when Awen had made her way in, he had smiled and was looking back to his plans. When he had heard his name, he closed his book and turned to look at Awen. His eyes blinked widely, since he had seen her last, she'd obviously hit a change.

Chubbs tried not to look like he was staring and pulled out a seat beside him, offering Awen a palce to sit. He smiled like he always had, it seemed to put others at ease. He wasn't afraid of what Awen had become, he was just not use to the change

" Umm heya hun... ah.. have a seat won't ya?"

"Thanks." She sat down...again? She shook her head a bit. Must be the hunger, she had thought she had sat down....guess she was just thinking about it. But she now sat in the chair Chubbs had pushed out.

She set her tray down and munched on her toast. "So... um, how goes?" She raised an eyebrow at the book he had.

Chubbs pushed his book to the side, trying to obscure it away from view some what, he didn't want her to find out about the surprise just yet. Chubbs looked her over, looking at her newly aquired body morphs.

" Umm not too bad.. I umm couldn't sleep really"

He looked down at her hands then back to his meal, cutting himself a mouthfull of food on a fork. after munching it for a bit he looked back to Awen.

" You umm okay.. I mean...ya not sore?"

Awen stuffed a bit of hair behind her ear self conciously. Unfortunately that just made the little knob things on her forehead more visible that made her even more self concious. She sighed a bit. "It happened a little while ago... It's just really sore anymore."

She poked one of the squishy grey patches to proove her point. "Kinda feels funny though..."

She shook her head a little bit like her change wasn't so much a big deal. She really just didn't want to upset anyone. She already did a lot to upset Jamal with it. "I have't been able to sleep much on the island either, so yeah you're not alone hun. Wish I could help ya..."

Chubbs looked over at one of her grey patches, his hand reached over , curious to see what it felt like, but he blushed and guess Awen didn't want him poking and prodding.

" I umm... Joliette, she ah...she's umm having a rest on... on my ah.. bed and I ummm decided to er.. leave her be and that"

Chubbs blushed brightly, eating another bite of his breakfast

Awen blinked a little bit and almost raised her brow but decided not to. The way Chubbs had soken it's not like her and Joli had.... Awen blushed a little bit that thought bringng back a certain memory of Jamal. She started to blush and decided to push that thought from her mind.

Instead her moved her arm closer to Chubbs. "Go ahead, I don't mind really. It's sort of weird and rubbery..." She furrowed her brow the qestion being what kind of fish had rubbery skin and gills. She had heard dolphins have rubber-like skin, but not horns or gills like fish, they had like blow holes, don't they? She really shouldn't let her mind reel like that.

Chubbs looked up at Awen and blushed like she had. He figured she set in her mind that they might have...He blinked and grew brighter red.

" I ah.. she umm just was tired.. I gave her .. m-my pillow"

He looked down at the air Awen had moved closer to him. Chubbs gave her an " Are you sure?" look before softly placing his fingers on one of the patches on her arm and stroking it softly.

Awen's skin tingled a little bit where Cubbs had touched it. It really did feel weird when somebody else touched it, but she didn't mind so much. She just wanted to make people comfortable with it as she was getting. If they wanted to touch it, make it real to them, then they could touch it it didn't much matter to her.

She nodded a bit at his explaination of Joli and his bed. "That's really sweet of you Chubbs." She smiled brightly.

Chubbs took his hand and patted Awen's arm with a smile, getting back to his breakfast with a small yawn

" Heh.. been told that alot lately"

He smiled to her, then munched on a bit of sausage and enjoyed the warm cup of tea he had by him.

" Least ya uh, got ya hair still, I ah.. love that blue hair"

"Thanks..." Awen blushed a bit and once more strung some of her hair behind her ear. "I don't think that the salt air is doing it much good though." She said softly. "It's gotten duller, and kinda ...mousey feeling. I don't know I think I'm gonna call in to get some better shampoo or something...."

She glanced over again to the book that was partly hidden now. "So...." She grinned a little. "Whatcha hiding?"

Chubbs blinked and looked over at his book, the one that he had his design plans inside. He wasn't about to show Awen just yet, she would have to wait until they were finished building.

" Oh that?.. ah.. nothing really"

Awen laughed a little bit. "Alright....alright. If ya don't want to tell me." She gave him a sideways grin.

She glanced down whe nher stomach grumbled and she remembered her food. She then finished her toast and started in on her apple.

Chubbs looked at the book and back to Awen, he felt a little bad that he was holding back on her, but he liked to have a surprise.

" It's a surprise.. umm for christmas... so ah.. can ya wait until then?"

Chubbs smiled at her softly, then he grinned and chuckled as her stomach grumbled. She seemed as if she was very hungry.

" Eat up now.. don't want ya umm fading away on me"

"Hey now hey!" She laughed a bit. "You can't get rid of me that easily!" She chewed and chuckled softly.

She gave a little thought to the idea of a surprise. "Oh right I guess Christmas is coming up too isn't it?" She took on a more thoughtful look. "I hadn't really been keeping track of the exact days anymore...and I mean it just doesn't feel like Christmas without any snow."

Chubbs chuckled and grinned a bit, thinking about how different they were. He did hope though that he wouldn't be the only one that would have some christmas spirit left. He liked the holiday, was a way to get everyone together.

" Feels like christmas to me though. If I had a barbeque and an esky full of beer, it'd deffinately be christmas"

Awen smiled. "Right I almost forgot, you guys don't really get snow do ya?" She nodded a little bit. "Well happy holidays Chubbs. Christmas will take some work, but hey we'll make it happen, ya?"

Chubbs nodded with a genuine smile, happy to see that someone like him felt like celebrating christmas like he did.

" Definately... I won't let this crappy place ruin something I enjoy"

She looked thoughful for a minute then grinned. "Hey! Maybe we could get a secret santa thing running? You think people would be interested? I mean the Doc gets us stuff for ourselves, I'm sure he won't mind a little Christmas shopping hm?"  

[Awen Zyn]

Catching Up

Despite Awen's attempt to actually be around someone for the first time in two weeks she couldn't seem to find anyone. She grumbled a bit wondering how people could just disappear like that, they were on an island for crying out loud there were only so many places they could go to hide! So disheartened and still alone she ended up wandering over to the cliffs again. She didn't fight the urge to stay and listen to the waves and just set herself down on a nice familiar spot. She rubbed her temples softly knowing this place just gave her headaches sometimes.

She glared out at the water, for a few moments neither longing for nor fearing it. In the few seconds she looked out she cursed and hated the water that surrounded this place, trapping them all seperating them. This was the only real barrier of the island, it almost seemed as thought if the water wasn't there there would be nothing stopping them from leaving. She knew this wasn't true, but it was the only physical thing keeping everyone there. Soon her anger fled leaving her to feel like a lemming again.... she sighed heavily and just put her face in her hands. Feeling the aweful horn things on her forehead she dropped them immediately and just shook her head. Nothing seemed right.

*click click click click click* "That should make a nice photo" Joliete murmured to herself, she had not heard the sigh of awen her focus having been on teh horizon with her huge telephoto lens on it's tripod . With a bit of dificulty she hit hte button again having to turn her finger on it's side a little bit . Her auburn curls covered most of her face. she was wearing her black gi bottoms and a short sleeved to and standing in the sunniest place along hte cliffs she had found

Awen had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed Joliette at first along the cliffs. Awen glanced to the girl and all too quickly saw the scales on her arms and her slightly mutated hand. Frowning slightly at the thought of someone else changing she wondered who else did in the two weeks she had kept herself secluded. Maybe Chubbs had as well....? Or....Awen gluped a little bit Jamal..?

She stood up and brushed her pants off, trying to brush away those thoughts from her mind. She managed a smile. "Hey Joli." She said in a friendly tone.

Jolis lifted her head from the viewer of hte camera and turned it, "Oh! hi Awen" she smiled weakly "Sorry I didn't hear you approach" her weak smile reveiled the sharp set of teeth she now owned. She stood up and turned more towards Awen her eyes noticing the changes awen had but trying not to linger

"Got you too huh?" She said as Joli noticed Awen's own changes. It was almost funny how either of them tried to ignore and not draw attention to it so much. Joli's glances had been quick as Awen's had, and even though the convorsation had jsut started it felt like an eternity of them staring at one another. This way, by confronting it directly, it would ease the tension later on. "You look kind of like Amaya..." She noted. "But really not a bad change all around..."

"Yeah it did, and David too" she sighed her yellowish tongue flicking uncontrolled from her mouth and she made a face, there was defintaly game at this end of hte isle. "Not so sure about not so bad... I am a vegan.. or was" she looked at hte horizon for a moment then back and scratched her cheek as carefully as she could with the sharp claw

"Oh..." She said softly being reminded of the vegan thing. "Right..." Something puzzled her though she didn't quite know who..... "David?" She asked suddenly. "Who is that, I don't think I've met him..."

Joliette blushed lightly "Sorry I kinda got used to calling him that, Chubbs, thats who I refered to" she said to her blue-haired friend.

"Oh....OH!" She nodded a bit. "Chubbs changed then too? Should be fuzzier now...prolly more of a teddy bear then..." She chuckled as the thought of the big guy dressed up in a bear suit popped into mind. Yeah like that was how he changed. She expression schooled itself and her tone sobered as she looked back to Joliette."How are you two handling it...?"

"Oh he's fuzzier all right, he has a fuzzy little tail too, The change wasn't easy, David did some damage to the unit, was fixed later though oddly enough, , I know myself I'm trying to keep my food down and learn to deal witht eh changes" she looked at her hand "Changes I certainly didn't want, was trying to figure it out what I'm becoming... How about you?"

"Me?" She laughed a little bit and looked back out to the water. "I feel like a lemming..." She shook her head. "But I don't think lemmings have grey rubber for skin, gills and horns do they?" She sighed heavily and looked back to Joli. "I spent the passed two weeks since my change...well since my last encounter with Chubbs since my change anyway.... hiding in my duplex or out here. I don't know how I'm dealing with it and I'm confused about what I am...but... I don't know I think I'm getting used to it."

"I dont think they do.." Joli replied quietly "I guess we all have to deal with the change in the only ways we know how, whether it's to sort out what we are or be secluded, or just get on with it" Joliette sight and sat down on a warm piece of rock on the clifftop "Ouch" she grumbled to herself and shifted her position

"Tail troubles...?" Awen guessed softly as she sat herself down by the poor scaled girl. She new the feeling of sitting on that particular uncomfortable stub well enough. She didn't understand the purpose for her own tail though, she could really move it, consciously or not, it never wagged or anything like that. She didn't know any animal with a tail as stupid and useless as her own seemed. It had given her enough trouble too, being so inflexible yet long.

Joliette nodded "Yeah thats a good name for it, tail troubles, little nub of a thing, still sore so that doesn't help either" she pulled her big feet closer to herself so her knees were against her chest and folded her arms atop them she looked at her friend letting the sun land on her back "Have you started looking at information sources to try and unconfuse yourself?" she asked once she was comfortable enough

Awen shrugged a bit. "I don't know where to start looking to be honest." She shook her head slowly. "With my luck I probably got a combined thing like Chubbs.... I mean what kind of creature has a stiff tail, gills, rubbery skin and horns?" She shook her head. "There just isn't one! Moreau's turning me into some kind of...mutant fish and that's all I really know." She let out a breath. "That's... all I really need to know."

"Tails, gills, horns and rubbery skin?" she quirked a brow, "Well Gills I'd say aquatic, and rubbery skin? I'd take a stab at the ocean, beyond that I'd have to say hit an encyclopedia... I left my encyclopedia running an intensive serach to try and sort me out, I don't trust the feral staff to tell me the truth even if I asked" she flicked her tongue watching Awen

She shrugged a little bit. "It doesn't really matter. I was going to ask... the night before I transformed I was going to push the button and ask. The one thing I know of Moreau is he's never once lied to me, I don't see why he would lie to me now, once I'm already caught." She shruged. "But I've decided I just don't care to know. Whatever it is it's meant to be underwater... that's all that I need to know." She looked over to Joliette now and realised how bitter she must be sounding. She bit her lip and tried to change the subject. "So... I miss anything in the passed few weeks? Any good gossip compiled?"

"Uhm I dont really know, I have been spending a lot of time with David, we were together with this happened..." she lifted a hand and let it drop once more "I witnessed yet another argument in teh cafeteria, I'm beginning to think the place is a fight room rather then a food room, and I know David is up to something thats a secret I don't know what though, he says it's a surprise"

Awen smirked a little bit at the mention of the surprise. "Yeah he has a book of plans for something... he wouldn't let me see when I asked him either." She frowned a little bit at the thought of the fight though. Things weren't going so good on the island after all. "Who was fighting this time...?" She just let the subject of Joli and Chubbs being together when they changed alone. She had always feared that would happen with her and Jamal too...but... thankfully it hadn't happened like that. She couldn't think of how painful that must have been.

"I haven't even seen the book so he's really keeping it secret" she chuckled and closed her eyes for a moment "As for the fight it was Ambrose and Jamal... again, the were in teh last arguement I saw too, but there was more there that time then just the pair" she sighs softly

Awen froze and suddenly stiffened. Ambrose had been inadvertenly pushing Jamal's buttons from day one. Another fight between them didn't boad well. Awen bit the inside of her cheek wondering if she wanted to know. But she would find out from Jamal she figured next time they talked..she might as well be prepared.... "What about...?"

"Changes or lack thereof, financial and racial backgrounds, something about a murder found it's way in there too..." she stared at the ground ahead of her "It was tried to be defused a few times... but those attempts failed"

Awen nodded slowly. "Those are...touchy subjects to Jamal..." Awen mumbled. "So other people know about..... This is not going to be ...." She shook her head and snapped out of her mumbling. She smiled to Joli. "It's just a tense situation, times like this will pass... It won't be perfect mind you but everyone will be getting along more or less eventually."

"I hope they do pass and we all do, we're stuck with each other here for the rest of our lives." Awen's mumbling had barely been heard by Joliette though she tried to make sure she did "Somehow I sensed the biggest issue was the changes or lack thereof"

"Maybe...." She wasn't so sure but she didn't want to get further into this. "Ah well..guys...will be testosterone driven idiots sometimes.." She smiled. "It'll pass though..... hey looking forward to the holiday?"

Joliette chuckled "Especially if they are stars, sports players or bodyguards I've found" she chuckles and opens her eyes to look at Awen "I have got to say no, not really... I'm used to spending it with mama, papa and gran and gramps but... besides spending some time in the darkroom hoping these changes dont stop me from developing some photos... and spending time with David I don't know what else I can look forward to here..."

Awen grinned a little bit. "You guys missed the Halloween party though, I'm sure they'd do another one for the holidays!" She nodded. She wasn't completely sure though... After what happened at the last party... But it was Christmas. Surely even Moreau wasn't Scrooge enough to deny the islanders a Christmas...or...other holiday... celebrations. "I just wish there were snow."

"There was a party? what happened at it?" Joliette looked curious about this statement forgetting about christmas for the moment

Awen's smile widened. "Food, drink, dance, kareoke." She laughed a little remembering all of the people that sang, including two songs by yours truly she snickered. "Just a fun time all around with decorations and everything. I got to meet a lot of people there, it would be good for everyone to have another party. Maybe there will even be presents this time?

"Wow, sounds like they went all out then. I guess we'll see if they'll do another, theres still so many people I've not met, maybe I'll meet more of them at a social gathering." she pondered this and then looked up at hte clear sky "Yeah somehow I dont think we'll get snow, and if we do it'd be a miracle considering our longditude and latitude... In a way I'm kinda glad... the sun feels nice on the skin really"

"Yeah...maybe... I dunno how I'd fare in the cold anyway. Fish normally just freeze up when it gets too cold don't they? And Amaya too.... she would hate it." Awen sighed heavily. "I just...miss home. I was always someplace white and fluffy for Christmas..." She shrugged a little bit. "I didn't have family to depend on, but I always knew there was going to be snow."

Joliette looked over at Awen "Where are you from?" she asked curiously listening to her description of the snow

She smiled a little bit thinking of home. "Well originally southern ontario, but I eventually worked my way further north of ontario."

"Ontario that in..." Joliette paused to think of her geography she pointed in teh air as if figuring something out "Canada?" she asked at last

Awen blinked slowly, the idea that someone hardly knew where Ontario was seemed a little strange to her. Not unherd of though... some people thought she meant the city of Ontario down in California somewhere whe nshe told them where she lived. Eventually Awen nodded. "Yup." Was all she could manage to say. When she thought about it though, apart from Canada and the US Awen didn't really know the provinces, or states, of other countries. Why would they know her home's?

Joliette smiles softly and nods "I've not been to Ontario, just some of hte eastern states and Canadian islands, I've spent most of my life in Britain for the most part, to be honest.. the time I've spent on this isle, is the longest I've ever been away from home... " she sighed and looked at hte clouds "I hope mama and papa are ok, and gran and gramps, they must be worried by now"

"Maybe they'll be searching for you?" She gave a hopeful smile to Joliette. "That's what I think. This many people disappearing? Someone's going to notice. When Chubbs doesn't come back after the "tournement" people will notice. When I never come home from "therapy" people will notice. Someone will come looking....someone will ifgure out the truth. And there is no way the governments of the world will stand for this crap..... we'll be free soon enough." She nodded definately.

"Or like me, people will hear rumors and go looking, thats how I got here, course the juiciest part of that rumor was the involvement of a star but thats besides the point." She nods

"Well right then. See! Someone will find us, we'll be able to go home. Sooner than you know it I bet." She grinned confidently and hadn't felt this good in days. Weeks. Heck, months!

Joliette just chuckled softly and smiled, her tongue flicked out and in as she did, she didn't have the heart to tell Awen the rumor not only brought her there, but made her one of the trapped persons being experimented on.

Joliette didn't have to say it but Awen had figured as much. She was aroun for the whole 'oh they're just actors' thing after all. But she figured soon someone would be wiser than a tabloid reporter looking for a scoop and tell the authorities about it all. They would come in force, she was sure, if one of their operatives go missing.

"Everything's gonna be fine Joli, believe you me. We're all going to be fine in the end." She didn't have the heart to tell Joli of her fear though... of how society would accept them once they did leave the island. She wondered what was worse really... not seeing their friends and family, or seeing their disgusted and horrified looks.

"We'll see as time goes on... in the mean time we take each day as it's given... A small part of me doesn't want to go back, I mean I want my family to know I'm safe and all, and I dont want to change into an animal, but I found love here, I learned to be more social here and theres the prospect of being turned into labrats back there too while they try to figure out what was done to us and possibly even abuse that power..." Joliette looked out at the ocean, "be nice if there was a happy mid-point..."

She shook her head a little bit and sighed. "I know what you mean. But you and Ch-- David could always just move somewhere together. And I'm sure that all they could do back where ever are a fwe exrays a few blood tests. Maybe they can even find a way to reverse the effects." She always had to look on the bright side, didn't she? "I really doubt they'd be able to abuse the power over us. I mean, after all, we're stronger, faster, and more deadly than before. Er- in general... So hey how could they really make us do what they wanted if they tried to abuse it huh?" She left out the classic brain washing, drugging, computer chip implantation, threatening loved ones stuff you read in comics of course. She was really just making light of the subject now, not really trying to be overly serious. It was one of her points of light, she wouldn't let a little thing like reality bring her down.

"We did here, so we probably would out there too, just a question where..." she smiled feeling a lil more relaxed then she had been

"See?" She gave her a little nudge and smiled. She thought it was cute how those two hooked up actually...

Joliette chuckles and nods "Yeah, he's wonderful he really is, I wish meeting him was onder different circumstances... but then at the same time on the mainland I never let myself be interested in guys... oh well, c'est la vie"

She nodded slowly. "Ya know we're more alike than just being short." She laughed a little bit. "Both short girls with bigger guys, both never let ourselves find a guy mainland...I mean gee coincedence much huh?"

Joliette chuckles "it's a small world, and it's kinda nice when you find someone who you can relate to" she nods as if to confirm her words

"Glad we agree then...." She stood up slowly, making sure to balance herself because didn't quite want to fall off the cliff. "But... I think I should get heading to my big guy now. He's probably upset and everything. And I....haven't seen him for two weeks."

Joliette looks up at Awen and nods "I hope you are able to help him calm.. it was nice talking with you"

"Thanks Joliette. I hope so too." She seemed a little worried but still let a smile slip through. "You take car, and tell David I said hi, alright?"

Joli nodded getting up slowly as she was still sore "I will, take care" she replied intending to return to her photography after Awen headed out  

[Awen Zyn]

I'm Sorry

Awen appeared suddenly at Jamal's doorstep. She heard what happened and wasn't really surprised to see the busted up window when she arrived. Her stomach tensed and she felt a surge of guilt. She shouldn't have locked herself away from him, not for so long. Taking a deep breath and knocked softly at the door. "Jamal?" She asked in a soft, but clear voice. If it didn't get through the door it would certainly be heard thrugh the open window.

Inside the duplex, Jamal was hunched over with his hands on his head. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, which had broken so the matress rested on the floor, not the wooden supports on the frame. He hadn't slept yet and didn't feel like doing so...he was still angry despite the time that had elapsed between the cafeteria meeting and the present time and despite his attempts to cool down, he couldn't find it in himself to relax.

The knock on the door was heard clearly but he didn't even acknowledge it. He knew it was Awen...why did she have to show up now after nearly two weeks of seclusion?...

Awen frowned slightly and wondered briefly if he wasn't in. Another glance at the window ruled that out. There was too much clutter too close to the door for him to even get out without moving it. This wasn't the first time he didn't answer when she came to knock. Something stabbed at her heart, a mix of hurt, guilt and anger washed more heavily over her. "Please Jamal.... don't make me talk through the door again..."

"Maybe yous best not talk ta a killa," he grumbled faintly from his hunched position, but glanced towards the door where Awen was standing. She could get in if she wanted...there wasn't too much in the way...but he just didn't feel like getting up.

"Jamal...." She was concerned for him really. She realised she hadn't even tried the doorknob. Turning it she found it pleasently unlocked, getting passed the junk behind the door...took a little more effort. She pushed on the door and once the stuff moved enough, opened quickly. With all her weight against it the sudden release of force holding her up made Awen stumbled forward. Luckily, this time she didn't fall. She kicked some of the stuff away , never taking her eyes off Jamal, and then slid the door shut. She stood in silence for a few moments just looking at him. "You know how I feel about that....it wasan accident...self defence... you're not a killer like that."

Jamal watched her slightly difficult entry into his room and flinched when he thought she was going to fall, but when she didn't, he looked back at the floor. The anger was still boiling low in his chest and it made him want to lash out again...it was almost scary. He never felt this angry before for so long.

"Yeah, you know it been an accident...but how 'bout all them otha peeps who gotta know now? They ain't carin' none 'bout dat."

"Let them think what they want." She said with her bitterness surfacing. "They're all too self centered to even care about other people here." That comment might seem a little hypocritical when Awen just took a two week long vacation from people, but she was still angry with Ambrose and Hargun for their lies to Joli.

Jamal gave the floor a scornful glare but sat up, eventually lifting his gaze to look at Awen. The tenseness around his eyes and mouth almost looked painful and he sat slumped upon his bed like he was a defeated man, but the darkness of his eyes glittered with something almost feral and a slight snarl graced his broad features.

"I shoulda known betta than ta get involved wit' that ********' white b*****d. Thought he'd be a'ight...but no. He's jus' like them snobby assholes back at home dat look down their noses at folk like me while we polishin' their shoes 'n beggin' fo' a dime." There was so much comtempt in his voice that the words were hard to say; he wanted to snarl but Awen didn't do anything to him. Other than to transform, that is...and that wasn't her fault.

Awen wished more than ever she could sympathise with the big man. She never had the time that Jamal had, and... thought she could be classified as one of those rich people Jamal was reffering to she never tried to be mean about it. She sighed softly and walked towards him. She sensed his anger and though was a bit cautious, she tried not to seem as though she was. She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jamal all that stuff doesn't matter anymore.... Money, status, those things don't mean anything now." She shook her head a bit. "I mean... it shouldn't have mattered in the first place but..well..you know..." She gave him a smile. "We can just ignore them."

Jamal had to seriously resist the urge to shrug his shoulder away from her touch, feeling so unsettled and depreciated in more ways than one.

"Yeah, it shouldn't matta' but it do anyways. O' maybe I be jus' a angry black man dat finally thinkin' maybe he ain't got da short end o' da stick this time 'n might be a'ight, but ta think dat way be wrong."

"I hope you're right Jamal..." She smiled reassuringly. "I mean...Joli and Chubbs changed already, I have too. You haven't yet so maybe there's still hope for you." Something in Awen's voice seemed... a little hollow. She knew that she didn't believe what she was saying so much, but.. it was possible. Just not very likely. She doubted it heavily and unfortunately that doubt slipped into her voice a bit. But she wished it were true anyway, and her eyes told a much.

"Hope fo' me o' they jus' tryin' ta break me 'n make me do sumthin' stupid," he said harshly, picking up the doubt in her voice and that made his expression darken considerably. He was sure that out of everyone, maybe Awen would see what he saw in that maybe he had escaped this terrible future that had already consumed so many others. It seemed as realistic to him as it seemed unrealistic to everyone else. However, it was to the point where he just wanted the transformation to come if it was going to come or to be told he was a dud and to be left alone. It was the thought of the uncertain that bothered him the most, not the fact that his life was in the balance.

He grumbled low in his throat and cast a disgusted look about his trashed duplex, the irritation igniting again in his chest. What a fine mess he had made...

Awen's hand slipped from his shoulder with the dark look her way. She seemed taken aback by it...and bowed her head a bit as he was lookig around the duplex. She really was just trying to help she hadn't meant to get him angry with her. More things to be guilty about.... With a deep breath she looked back to him, she had a long lsit of things to apologise for now... might as well... "I'm...sorry I haven't been around..." She paused a second before explaining. "I just..couldn't handle being around..anyone. Everything from Christmas with no snow, to the transformation, to feeling like a stupid lemming has set me off. I just..needed some time.. to think I guess. I'm sorry for not being here for you...you...obviously needed it..."

"It's fine," he said with little emotion. "You got yer own s**t ta deal wit'...can't 'spect ya to worry 'bout me all da damn time. This be ma problem anyways. Ain't yer fault. I jus' can't keep ma mouth shut...but it be a'ight. I'm done tryin' ta be good fo' ev'ryone so they ain't thinkin' I be a monster. Dis ********' island full a'monsters so I guess I jus' fit in dat much betta if I look at it dat way. I don't care who wants ta' deal wit' me no more."

His tone was very firm and clear-cut, indicating that he believed in his words whole-heartedly and wasn't about to go against it now. Jamal was a little angry with her just disappearing like that...it made him feel like he wasn't really important or that he was unneeded, but that was just his selfish nature talking.

Awen knew his acceptance was too stiff to be true. She bit her lip and pretended just to be interested in the damage he did to the room so she could turn away so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She didn't want him feeling any worse for making her cry. If... he cared. "I don't think..." Her tone was wavering so she took in a breath to calm her nerves. "I don't think you're a monster Jamal. I know you're better than what they say..... they don't know anything when they say stuff about you." She was hurt..but...so was he. She couldn't concentrate on something as dumb as her feelings were at the moment, she had done that for two whole weeks and look what it did. Her stomach churned slightly and she felt sick. She really hated herself at the moment for hurting him, even if he didn't sound hurt she knew he must be....

Jamal was poor at deciphering actions so when she turned away, he didn't catch that she was upset now until her voice wavered unsteadily. Great, the last thing he needed was for her to get all emotional on him.

"Maybe I jus' fooled you like ev'ryone else," he mumbled sarcastically, though he didn't mean what he said. "It don't matta' if it true o' not...there be way mo' of them than there be o' me. Outnumba'ed n' there ain't nuthin' I kin do 'bout it." He cradled his head in his hands again, looking dejectedly at his feet. "It was only a matta ah time 'til they found out anyways..."

She gathered herself up and sighed. She turned back to him only to sit on the bed next to him. "Hey now.... Jamal.... It'll be alright." She hesitantly brought her hand up to rub his back. "There's lots of them... but there's two of us..." She leaned down a little to be at his eye level and gave him a little smile. "I shouldn't have left like I did, and I won't do that ever again. I'm going to be here for you. To hell with what they want to think...right?"

Finally the anger and irritation that boiled so unpleasantly in his chest started to blend away, leaving him increasingly hollow and empty feeling. He was sure he'd lost most if not all of his friends at this point...not that he'd admit he cared, but having some sort of following made him feel important. He was so used to having that back home. He could just picture Ambrose running around playing the town gossip and telling anyone who cared to hear about how Jamal was an admitted murderer.

"Ta hell wit' all of 'em. I don't care anymo' what they gotta say."

Awen smiled. This certainly wasn't exactly a possitive thing.. but it was better that fuming. "It'll be okay Jamal. No matter what they have to say, I'm gonna be there with ya." She nodded a little bit. "Besides... not everyone's had it made their whole life like Ambrose." Or me.... she added silently with another sting of guilt. "But a lot of people on this island know what it's like to be out of house and home, ya know? They'll understand I'm sure..." She hoped anyway. She wrapped her arms around him gently and just held the black man for a little while. "I do anyway...."

"Bein' wit'out ain't da same as takin' a life. Dat usually sumthin' peeps don't unda'stand so good," said Jamal after a pause, feeling her arms wrap about his middle. Well, at least Awen had already known about all this so she wasn't terrified...he vaguely wondered how he would have handled her rejection otherwise.

"But whateva'. I don't even care no mo'." That was a lie and it was pretty obvious that it was such, but it made him feel better to blow steam in any case.

"Well..." Awen said in a lighter, more mischievious tone, apparently trying to lighten the subject. "If you don't care anymore..... Then you won't have any problem telling me what secret you and Chubbs have been working on hmmm?" Her mouth curved into a grin. She had purposely left out Ambrose because she knew that was not a good name to mention right now. She was trying to jibe him and get him back to a normal mood.

That did make him lift his head again and give Awen a calculating look before narrowing his eyes and smirking as well as shaking his head. "Nice try," he said with a slow drawl that was a bit more Jamal-like. "I might not be carin' 'bout all dat otha bullshit, but I ain't gonna ruin yer present neither...'sides...I know Chubbs worked real hard ta keep it a secret....'n even if he don't like be none after this, I ain't gonna ruin it fo' him. Dat 'n I ain't good at the whole present thing, so...I ain't sure Imma be able ta get ya anythin' else."

He sighed, but it was a less 'depressed my life sucks' one and more of a 'oh well' sort of sigh.

Awen smiled more sincerely glad to see Jamal coming back to them. "Well I've never been that good at presents either... I wish I could just get you anything really. But then again... if I can't go shopping or find materials to make something then really I'm stuck anyway." She nuzzled his cheek slightly and a small grin came across her. "But I suppose there are always...other kinds of presents." She whispered as she was close to his ear. Before he could respond she gave a small chuckle and pulled away, standing right up.

She looked around the room really taking in the damage this time and tsked. "What a mess you've made though...." She shook her head a little bit. "How about you come over to my place tonight hm? Wouldn't want you to sleep in this."

Her little comment on other presents did make him smirk a little...he didn't mind the sound of that at all, despite how sour his mood was determined on being. He hadn't counted on getting anything like an actual item for Christmas anyway. Jamal's family was never big on holidays so he had never had the need to pay much attention to stuff like this. "I like presents," he did say with a bit of mischievious air as she got up.

As Awen surveyed the damage, he pursed his lips and glanced down at his broken bedframe...he didn't even remember breaking that. The table and chair were haphazardly against the broken window and already he could see the jungle insects making themselves cozy on the walls and near the remains of food wrappers. Lovely.

"I didn't really pay much attention ta what I was doin'," he admitted as he also stood and went to check out his "handywork" with the broken window. "It was weird...ya know I get bad 'n stuff, but this mad was diff'rent. It didn't wanna go away."

She moved behind him and nodded a little bit. "Don't worry about it at all." She said softly. "You were upset enough... Sometimes things cling more than others. Having told them the truth and all that other stuff I'm sure that just hit home a lot more than you expected." She slipped her hand to hold his. "Why don't we just get out of here and go to my place? We'll get this cleaned up tomorrow, maybe call for some more furniture and a window.... and everything will be better." She smiled up at him.

He frowned as he saw one of his shoes amongst the glass shards, then remembered he chucked it into the window upon first walking in. Well, he wouldn't be able to wear it until he was sure to get them washed and get all the bits of glass out of them. At least he had a pair of sandals he could wear instead. Awen's idea of getting out of there seemed like the best option given the situation...he couldn't sleep here with all the bugs that were coming in now.

"A'ight," he said finally, conceding to her common sense. That and he didn't mind sharing some one on one time with her, of course. "Hopefully they ain't gonna give me a hard time 'bout givin' me new stuff."

"Ahh if they do I'll just have to step in. Ya know they ain't gonna mess wit dis shorty." She grinned as she had been practicing her ghetto speech. Once Jamal seemed ready to go she tugged him out the door and towards her duplex once they got outside.

That did make Jamal laugh and he gave her an affectionate smile as he was led/tugged out the door. "Aw hell, now yous soundin' almost like da real thing," he said with surprise at her little quip. "You gonna have ev'rybody all confused jus' like me soon 'nough."

Awen beamed proudly but..realised she fell short on slang now. "Ah... I doubt it. Maybe with more practice but eh...." She shook her head a little.

He chuckled and gave their locked hands a little bit of swing as they walked, forcing himself into better spirits only for the sake of getting his mind off the mess he created, both figuratively and literally. "Eh, don't worry 'bout...I bet yous get real real good some day. Not dat talkin' like this be all dat great, but yous can pretend it is." Just like you can pretend that being on an island with people transforming into random beasts is great... he thought privately. "Plus it gives ya sumthin' ta do, anyways, when ya bored."

She laughed a bit. "A'ight. Guess I could if ya put it that way." That wasn't even trying but it was kind of a weak attempt in.... no she wouldn't even classify that as an attempt. She shrugged a bit and just held close to him on the way back to her place.

He gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go, then wrapped that arm across her back instead. "Don't worry 'bout it too much, shorty. If anythin', ya got me ta smile."

If nothing else, at least he was in a better mood now...and would be much less likely to want to trash anything now that they were going to be in Awen's place and not his own. That fact almost made him laugh, but instead he settled for walking comfortably close with Awen to her duplex. At least he wasn't completely forgotten.  

[Joliette Rigiel]

Joliette looked through her pile of envelopes she went through them as carefully as possible having already poked holes in the corners of many of them by accident with her new claws.

She found the one she was looking for and slid it under the door of her friend.

Note Enclosed with

Merry Christmas Awen

I couldn't think of anything else to give my friends so I holed up in the darkroom for a few hours pouring through my Photographic work and thought you might like this one...

~Joliette

 

[Awen Zyn]

Snooping Around

Awen had wandered by this blue tarp it had to be fifty throusand times since forever! She always sighed a little when Jamal went in there. She knew he was working for the good and all but... Awen was never much one for waiting and patience and surprises and such. She sometimes came over and sat nearby to wait for Jamal to come out for lunch or supper or bed. This time however she knew everyone was out. Ambrose had left awhile ago and she knew Jamal was dozing in her duplex for a mid-afternoon nap and she could have sworn she saw Chubbs in the cafe. She grinned softly and looked around. After all it couldn't hurt.... just a little peek.

She moved to the entrance and exit of the place looking at that blue tarp. For a moment she froze almost trembling in anticipation. She lifted her hand slowly and was pushing away the tarp....

Chubbs had just gotten his tin of paint and brush. It was finally complete, ready for the unveiling at Christmas. He had a big smile on his face, it felt good to have the whole thing completed. He dusted himself down and carried the can towards the gate. Something whack up his nostrils like a blast of smell, He nearly toppled back. Chubbs was still getting use to his upgraded senses, it was hard to control his nose. He took another wiff, it smelt really nice, kind of perfumey. It was just ouside the gate. Looking down, he noticed the tarp was beggining to move. Chubbs' eye sprung open... a spy! He unlatched the gate and pulled it open a crack and peered out.

" Awen!... you lil minx!"

"Gyah!" Startled Awen quickly pulled away and...tipped over a rock landing on her bottom on the ground. She winced a little bit before looking up. She knew it had been Chubbs that had spoken to her, the accent and depth gave it right away, but she certain looked him over a bit. She would smile and conclude that what she said to Joli was right, he was more of a cute teddy bear now...but she had been caught snooping.

She decided to play it cool. She smiled awkwardly as she stood up. "Hey Chubbs."

Chubbs folded his arms, and looked at her with a smirk and a raised brow. He looked like the bouncer that he was so long ago. He crept out of the gate, keeping an eye over his shoulder in case Awen tried to peek, and he closed and locked it up. Turning back around, he smiled, then remembering his teeth, remembered Awen hadn't seen his new form. He bit his upper lip shyly and walked over to her and helped brush her down from the dirt and sand.

" You.. ah okay?"

She nodded a little bit and smiled thankfuly up at him. "Just a little fall, happens all the time." She said confidently. She tilted her head a little bit. "I was just looking for Jamal..." Such a lie and she knew it but it was a nice cover. At least she hoped so, something about her awkward delivery of it made her think she wouldn't master Jamal's level of smooth talking anytime soon....

Chubbs folded his arms again, it was the bouncer stance again. he pulled off his cap and put it on Awen's head with a smirk. He had no reason other than she'd look cool in it. Chubbs knew alot better than Awen lead on. He had to deal with a lot of people feeding him crap before, lying about their age and such.

" That right?.. hmm well he went... I believe to your place, so he told me about two hours ago.... so ah... sure ya not looking for something else?"

Awen peeked out from under the cap and laughed a little bit. So she had been caught huh? Looking up at him with his arms crossed as he had them she realised he would be a very...very scarey guy if he wasn't smiling. And not because of the new found fangs either. "Well okay ya caught me. I've just never been good at being patient.... it was just a little peek." She said the last part innocently as she could.

" Awwww, I'm not mad hun, just wanna see ya face when it opens.. wouldn't take that from me would you?"

He reached over and rubbed the cap on top of her head, he really liked the look. He smiled then made a slightly pouting face at Awen, trying to tug at her heart strings. He rally did wanna see her face when he unveiled the present for everyone.

She sighed a little bit looking at the face the big man made and then chuckled. "Alright.... alright. I promise I won't try again." She waved her hand and turned back to the village. "Call it my christmas present to ya?" She looked back and smiled a little bit.

Chubbs smiled then smirked, lifting a hand to stroke his chin as if giving it some thought. He didn't mind if he got nothing at all, happy people. hopefully with his gift, would be more than enough. Finally he reached out a hand to her, as if to offer a hand shake.

" Okay... deal then"

When he took her hand, he shook it once, then pulled her towards him. With that, he gave Awen a big hug, lifting her off her feet and giving her a quick spin before putting her on the ground.

During the hug with the big guy she felt something pop. But thankfully it wasn't a bad pop at all.... She laughed as he spun her, or tried to anyway, the hug had restricted her airflow which made laughing difficult until he put her down. But that didn't mean she didn't enjoy it. She giggled and slowly took off his hat, handing it back to him with a little bow.

Awen looked up at Chubbs and wondered....She couldn't help herself but... she reached up and poked him nose. So it was cold and everything!

Chubbs chuckled and wiggled his nose with a blush. He put his cap back on with a smile. Seems everyone thought he was just a big teddy from the change, he didn't mind. She was laughing, it made him feel better.

" So...Chubbs mark two point zero, yay or nay?"

"Yay, definately." She nodded approvingly. "More like the teddy bear you are, like I always said, eh?" She looked down at her arms and self conciously put her gloved hands over the grey patches on her forearms. Better than a rubbery-fish-monster... she thought to herself.

Chubbs looked at the ground and blushed, no matter how use to it he got, it just made him a little bashful being compared to an adorable toy that's for hugging. Chubbs looked up and watched her rub her arms, she must have thought she was odd or something. Chubbs just reached over and patted her shoulder.

" And ya still the gorgeous gal I ah.. kicked ya butt on the X-Box"

Chubbs smirked a little, hoping that'd get her out of her mood

She made a short smile which quickly turned into a mockingly sour face. "It was a fluke!" She exclaimed but couldn't keeep the grin off her face. "You're just lucky.. that's all!" As if even she believed.

Chubbs chuckled and the gasped, mockingly of course.

" It was not... I'm all skill baby!"

Chubbs put his hat on backwards and pulled a street thug pose at that comment. He knew he looked rediculous.

She blinked a little bit before turning around and shaking her head. "And Jamal says my ghetto's bad." She mumbled just loud enough for Chubbs to hear. Glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he knew that no offence was met.

Chubbs grabbed up his paint tin and paint brush, it was still a little wet from the painting inside. He grinned for a moment to himself then looked at Awen and aimed the brush at her with a humerous sour face.

" Ooo! what was that then?"

Awen squeaked a bit and started forward away from Chubbs. "Nothing! I said nothing!"

Chubbs chuckled and lead the charge, running after Awen with lethal paintbrush in hand.

" Lies!, come back here you misfit"

She giggled and took off into a run away from the charging Chubbs. "Chubbs! Come on I didn't mean it!"

She skidded to a halt hearing him fall. Instantly she worried if he was okay, hearing him laugh though it seemed as though he was really fine. But she still returned and looked down at him. "You okay Chubbsie?"

Chubbs nodded and sat up, dusting himself down. He had to chuckle still at the embaressment. He slowly got to his feet and shook his head.

" Blasted claws... freakin annoying"

"Heh heh... yeah I.. really wouldn't know. No claws for me." She shrugged a little bit.

Chubbs smiled and looked Awen over. It was true she didn't look so canivorous like himself. He hoped she would stay in mind the same Awen he liked.

"Be glad for that"

She cringed a little bit thinking of what she knows of fish. "I don't know. I'd rather have claws, and teeth and everything. At least that means I could eat nromally, like I could still eat some of the foods I normally do." She shivered a little bit. "Worms are what fish eat... I'd like to avoid that really. Claws aren't so bad really."

Chubbs petted he shoulder lightly. It wasn't eay the situation she was in, and she didn't even know what she was yet.

" Still can hug with em"

She smiled softly and even at the mention of it she couldn't help but hug him tightly. She burried her face in his shoulder and took in a deep breath. She didn't want to cry she shut her eyes tightly adn refused it.

She had no right to, of course. Everyone was in rough situations, everyone was hurting because of this. Chubbs was loosing the kids he helped, Joli was turning into a meat eater, Abomrose, Jamal, the only one that seemed pleased about all of this was Lauren and Awen hadn't seen her in a long time. Everyone was having a hard time, so what right did she have to feel sorry for herself? She had already spent two weeks sorting things out, why should she take anymore time.

she took another slow breath before looking up to Chubbs. "Thanks for everything. You are... a really great friend." Stepping back she gestured to the large blue tarp. "And you obviously care about the community."

She mused on that a little bit. Community, they were a community now. Only Chubbs seemed to really be acting like it though... Her smile up at him grew slowly. Things were certainly more unified since he got here.

Chubbs blinked at first when she hugged herself to him, he returned it though, big and warm. It was obvious she was still touchy about the change, hell anyone would be. He ptted her on the back, trying to lend a comforting touch. When she looked up at him he blinked at her words. He couldn't hold it back, a tear trickled down his cheek as he blushed and smiled a little. It was a really nice thing of her to say to him.

" Awwww, hun, I'm glad I can be here for you guys"

She frowned a little bit in worry seeing the tear. "I'm sorry, did I upset you?"

Chubbs went redder in his cheeks, rubs his eyes and grinned bashfully.

" Awww no hun, just like a really nice thing you said"

She smiled softly and nodded thankful he wasn't hurt."You deserve it Chubbs.. you really do." She looked down to the ground with a little giggle.

Chubbs poked her in the somach with a grin, hoping she would cheer up soon.

" Now.. ya only got one more day to wait, so If I head home now, I can trust ya?"

She raised her right hand the took a thoughtful look then put that hand down and raised her left and frowned and tried her right again. Sigh shurgged and put her hands down and nodded. "I swear I won't look. It would ruin your Christmas present, remember?"

Chubbs winked and rubbed her hair and smiled.

" Okay.. I feel I can head back to my dplex and not find ya peeping"

He really did trust her, he was confident to head back.

"Eh, I should head back to the cafe anyway." She smiled and started back towards the village. "Sorry for trying to snoop in the first place, Jamal has been teasing me about it lately."

Chubbs grinned brightly and winked to her as her picked up the paint cand and brush and made his way towards his place.

" Oh you'll get ya chance to get him back after tomorrow"

She chuckled softly and seemed to grin almost to herself. "You better believe it Chubbs."

Snapping out of her own little world and smiled and waved. "See you later, and Merry Christmas Eve my friend!"

Chubbs grinned and waved over his shoulder

" Have a good one hun"

He headed on back towards his duplex, feeling happy about the completition