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 Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:46 pm
Unfortunately you don't have enough money to buy anything other than a futon so your apartment is nakie.
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Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2014 10:20 pm
Fortunately,your stalker-now-couple is a millionaire and provides for you.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 8:59 pm
Unfortunately the money was actually acquired from a history of robbing banks, so the millionaire status is lost and must spend time in prison, so your apartment is still left naked.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:18 pm
Fortunately, you become a god.
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:12 am
Unfortunately, all the other gods wish to see you dead, or at least, seriously maimed and discapacitated
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2015 7:08 pm
Fortunately, you are where the other gods can't harm you.
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 10:55 am
Unfortunately you realize that you're going to have to leave your safety zone to go to the bathroom soon.
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Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 4:30 am
Fortunately,they're on their tea break so erm...for about 15 mins,you'll be safe to use the bathroom...
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:13 am
Unfortunately the bathroom's "Out of Order" so you dip into the woods and end up with a poison ivy rash on your tender bits.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:45 pm
"To the one I love..
Fortunately, my tender bits was fake, so I didn't feel the rash.
..prepare to die."
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2015 10:08 am
Unfortunately, they became real.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:09 am
Fortunately you're in the Matrix and finally got your pill.
NONE of it was real.
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Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 2:13 am
"To the one I love..
Unfortunately, the pill was replaced with LSD.
..prepare to die."
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Posted: Sun Feb 22, 2015 8:51 am
Fortunately, you aren't an enemy of the Kaiser, for now...
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:45 pm
Unfortunately, Kaiser was taken by pirates.
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