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 Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:30 am
Im in a icantexplainmyselfbecausetheachinghurts emotions...i have a headache...from staying up to late because of bloody exams. Damn midterms are coming up and i dont want ot deal with any of them.My body is tense all over,<(__)> My toe is f'ing messed up(( keeps dislocating itself ><)), my head feels like ive been beating over with a metal baseball bat, i am not happy with my current reltionship w/ my boyfriend, and debate with my selves on whether i should seperate from him or not. Psyche says no friends say yes. My mother didnt like the posters i bought which made me sad and i wish i could be in an another social welfare class because the one iam in sucks.
so basically...to chose a word that can somewhat relate to this thought..= pissed/confuesd disappointed
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 1:19 pm
 ★★★ I usually refuse to deal with stress, so whenever my life gets to be too
much, I just take time out. Even if people are expecting things of me, or
want to see me, I go into this selfish me-time phase where, when I come
out of it, I explain it to everyone, and usually they're okay with it, just
glad that I'm feeling better. It leaves me better able to handle the things
that were causing me stress before I went on Jizo Bosatsu retreat.★★★ 
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:03 pm
[ Jizo Bosatsu ] ★★★ I usually refuse to deal with stress, so whenever my life gets to be too
much, I just take time out. Even if people are expecting things of me, or
want to see me, I go into this selfish me-time phase where, when I come
out of it, I explain it to everyone, and usually they're okay with it, just
glad that I'm feeling better. It leaves me better able to handle the things
that were causing me stress before I went on Jizo Bosatsu retreat.★★★
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 3:26 pm
★★★ Note to self: Rice, soya sauce, teriyaki sauce, ham, pineapples. Do it! ★★★
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 4:18 pm
[wHisper]
I got out of dance awhile ago.. then I missed my bus, and my friends were like "Let's go to Fremont and say that you were helping the dance commitee put up those backdrops we were supposedly doing in art club~!" So I called my dad and told him, and he said he was leaving work early anyways, so he'll pick me up at 2.30. So then I put my high heels in my friends locker, and my other friend took my jacket, because she's gonna wash it. Then I went over to where my dad picks me up, but I sat where this guy Taylor, that I like, sat once after Rehearsals for Orchestra. Low and behold, he comes walking up and stands on the other side of the thing I was leaning against, I really don't know what you'd call ******** eh, I had ten minutes, just him and me, no one else around in plain view, and I still couldn't talk to him. That was my golden opportunity to make friends with him and didn't. After his mom pulled up, he put his viola in the trunk, and drove away, I got up and started dancing and doing piroettes(Totally spelling that wrong) n' stuff. I did tha tfor about a halk hour til my dad drove up at 2.51
Thenhetookmetobestbuy. He bought me Noise Floors, which was just abunch of songs off of EP's and s**t, and he also got Shaun Lennon's albumn. I think I've got his first name wrong - like spelt. Meh. He looks quite a bit like my dad.
It's a three day weekend, which means that my dad'd going to be stressed out. he's so sick o fhaving a girlfriend in a wheelchair, and a baby, and I spend so much time on the computer and in my room that he doesn't really have anyone to talk to. Bleh. Cindy's dad and Aunt are staying over until Monday. I'm not sure if I'm working Saturday or not.
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:40 pm
★★★ Well, I'm off to bread. Tomorrow I will play more Jigsaw, try to figure out
why my Photoshop isn't working, and possibly play Final Fantasy X or X-2
for a little while. I also need to meditate, I missed yesterday and today.★★★
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Mariana the Deloved Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 9:52 pm
Whisper...
I need to write a letter to a friend. A friend who has not layed eyes on me for four years. Yes, we have comunicated, by phone, but any physical presence has not been possible, for he lives three states above me. Stating the situation as it is, this perticular young man, though bright as he is, has decided he loves me. In the past few transactions (one being a letter), he has hinted, then finally started consantly saying he loves me, and that he's had dreams of me. I am very apologetic if this sounds cruel, but how is an individual supposed to know who I am over phone calls, considering I never talk about my life, I never tell how I am truely feeling, never talk to him when I am truely upset... He doesn't know me, but he swears he loves me. How can you love someone through only three calls per month? (Ok, sometimes he would call me every weekend, but usually there would be long spans of him not attempting to call me)
To me, I feel I am somewhat of a crutch, or something of the rather. He needs something to love, and I am the only option. But then again, I only have my own view to make assumptions with. I hope he gets over this obsurdity. I hope he gets over this obsurdity soon.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 8:34 pm
★★★ I finished cleaning my room, and I made sure to create enough space so
that I can do prostrations in front of my Buddha alter, and I have
discovered that prostrations hurt. I just finished fifty of them, and I'm
sweating and having a difficult time breathing. I'm going to do fifty more
before I go to bed tonight. I want to do a minimum of one-hundred a day
until I feel that I'm physically able to do more.
I had a cheap, all-fabric Naruto forehead protector, and I found that it's
great for wearing while doing prostrations because it protects my forehead
from the carpet. Hooray! It's practical as well as fun!★★★
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Mariana the Deloved Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:06 pm
D: Don't abuse yourself, Mr. Jizo!
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:32 pm
★★★ I'm actually pretty happy to be doing the prostrations. It's nice to do
something physically active. It's showing me just how out of shape I really
am, and it's requiring me to use muscles I didn't think you'd be using
during such practices (my pectorals actually hurt). LOL EXERCISE!★★★
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:35 pm
I do yoga when I'm bored sometimes.. I should set like a half hour apart everyday where I put my laptop on my bed and do some sets on the carpet. Ohwell.
I'm not gonna type the whole thing I was going to, too depressing.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:40 pm
★★★ During the week, on a television station I get here, there is a half-hour
follow-along yoga programme. I try to tune in every day and do the
practices and then repeat them when I need a particular one, or on the
weekend. The one I find myself doing the most often is to work with the
nervous system. It focuses on the spine, and since I have a number of
back problems, and problems with headaches, it helps quite a bit.
I'd also really like to learn T'ai Chi, Qigong, and perhaps Hung Gar.★★★
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:43 pm
My Dance P.E. teacher sometimes has us do Yoga warm ups. I like them alot better than jazz warm ups. I like the flexability. I've never been at all flexable until last year when I decided I was going ot be able to touch my toes. <******** typos, ;D.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 9:47 pm
★★★ When I was in High School, a substitute teacher (or teaching assistant, I'm
not really sure) started up a Yoga Club, and she would lead us through
practice over the lunch hour. I regret not going to every session now.★★★
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Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:29 am
★★★ I have to keep the door locked today and not answer it.
There may be people coming over to try to take our water
heater. Also, we may get our water cut off today as well. gonk ★★★
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