It was Eion's impetus to stand as soon as Albite flopped over with a box of ******** snakes. But as soon as his boy bit the dust, there was a vicegrip on his hand and the hiss at his side stopped him from doing more than shift uncomfortably. He looked from his fallen boy to Ren, then back to Albeaten, right on the precipice of wanting to sprint for him anyway.
But Ren was right, and more than that, exposing any connection to Albite put both Ren at risk and Aelius at risk for a second new identity. Coupled with that, Eion doubted that the competition would supply any venomous live snakes, though the fact that it supplied live animals at all was itself rather dubious. From what he could see, they weren't biting Albite. But on the other hand —
"You know he's dumb," Eion whispered as he chewed his lower lip. "What if he has a heart attack because he can't tell a boa from a black mamba?" That would be a terrible loss of boy.
Eion sighed, then stood. "Can't watch anymore. Let's go." He tugged on Ren's hand, then squeezed Aelius's bicep after he pinned his glowstick between his teeth. "All fhe cufe boyf loff."
Maybe he could convince them to wander the night market for a minute, find a consolation prize for the boy, and meet up with him later.
Zachariah didn't know what he was doing considering he hardly knew enthusiasm even if it punched him in the face. Maybe he should be channeling Autumn? Probably. She seemed overenthusiastic about literally ******** everything. There was another guy near him cheering for Faust Mr. Sparkles now, and the MC was acknowledging him as a competitor. Maybe this was working and he could stop putting on the enthusiasm act--
Was the one Don Diablos girl looking a little frazzled?
Whatever.
He waved his sparkler around as Faust was handed a book and overpowered the attempt to take him out, dragging it along between his pearly whites like it was absolutely nothing. He heard a few other cheers in the stands and was tempted to let them handle it beyond his sparkler waving but--
Was he supposed to be the head fan? Was that what Mr. Manly O Man Faust the Catcat wanted--
"TAKE THEM OUT WITH THE BOOK!" Yeah that was it. "DESTROY THEM WITH MIGHT AND KNOWLEDGE!"
Sure.
"CATS ARE SUPERIOR!"
strickenized
lizbot
Seiana_ZI
Codebreaking Conversationalist
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lizbot
No Faun
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 9:33 am
Emily Moffat
When Cerberus fell and Don Diablos ran safely on, Emily made a decision. Sprinting from the stands and onto the field, carefly avoiding the dangerous path of Mr. Sprinkles and the highly fashionable one of The Heartbreaker, she quickly reached the prone body of Cerberus.
Looming over the snake-infested corrupt, she held out her hand. Not to help him up, of course, that would dishonor his valiant efforts on this field! No, instead she handed him a business card with an address on it.
"Do you want your passion to inspire the masses? Do you want awe and terror laid at your feet? Do you want to be a really cool bad guy?"
It was Don Diablos's business card.
"Come to him once you're ready." Ignoring the snake curling around her calf, the petite woman turned around and strode back to the stands. She didn't wait for an answer, the only one that mattered would come in the form of a new apprentice for Don Diablos, waiting and ready at his doorstep.
THE SOUND OF AN ANGRY YOWL GREW OMINOUSLY LOUD BEHIND DON DIABLOS! BY THE POWER OF MANY SALMON DINNERS AND 23-HOUR NAPS, MR. SPARKLES EXECUTED A BURST OF SPEED AND LEAPT INTO THE AIR, HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE FAMED WRESTLER FROM THE PITS OF HELL!
WILL THEY COLLIDE? WILL DON DIABLOS BE KNOCKED OUT, OR WILL HE PUNCH THE FURRY ADVERSARY STRAIGHT INTO THE AUDIENCE STANDS? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!!
A furry fist of fury flew ferociously toward Don Diablos! With his vision obscured he didn't know what was coming right at his face until it was TOO LATE! His head whipped back, the magic 8-ball flew out of his mouth, which then hit and knocked out another competitor foolishly trying to run past the two. Don Diablos was knocked back, his feet gouging two tracks into the grass! The impact created a large dust cloud that hid the mighty figure, now fallen.
Nearby, the large floppy beach hat floated gently down to the ground.
Don Diablos status: KNOCKED OUT
1 normal sized garden gnome with sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt 1 life-sized cardboard cut-out of Ignacio Araya-Bell 1 giant unicorn pool ring player choice 1 very plush very purple feather boa 1 large floppy beach hat player choice 1 magic 8ball
MR. SPARKLES WAS SEEN! MR. SPARKLES WAS HEARD! THE PRIMORDIAL POUCH WAS PERCEIVED!
THE STAGGERING STRENGTH OF THE BLOW RICOCHETED THE CAT BACK TOWARD THE STANDS AS IF HE WAS WEIGHTLESS! THE PLASTIC CHRISTMAS TREE WAS LOST TO TIME AND SPACE! THE STANDS ROCKED AS MR. SPARKLES THE DEATH DEALER CRATERED INTO THE SIDE, AND HIS TOME OF KNOWLEDGE SLAMMED INTO THE CRATER SHORTLY THEREAFTER!
SILENCE FELL OVER THE BATTLEFIELD. THE DICTIONARY FLUTTERED TO THE GROUND. OUT PEELED MR. SPARKLES, BONELESS AND STUNNED, AS HE LIQUIFIED INTO A MOTIONLESS VOID PUDDLE OF PISS AND VINEGAR.
seiana_zi
Hydor was let down!
lizbot
Mr. Sparkles dealt too much death! Alas for 7-Eleven Todd's chosen champion!
a-disgruntled-dragon generated a random number between
1 and 63 ...
51!
Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 1:54 pm
Currently Holding: A kitten, A piece of taxidermy (tarantula), A small cask of olive oil, A bag full of handmade afghans, A wig (on her head, clearly), A second wig (this time cursed)
The men started to go down. The Spartan was first, followed by Cerberus. The Sensation went down and the cat and Don Diablos went at it to take each other out. She was actually rather impressed with the cat for lasting so long to begin with! Then it was just down to the Heartbreaker and her.
"May the best swol lady win!" she said to Nectaris with a toothy grin. She wanted to win, but if the cute little knight won instead? Skoll wasn't going hold it against her.
Skoll took a breath and started her next pass. Someone chucked an incredibly long wig at her and it hit her in the face. Somehow it got tangled with the wig already on her head and the spider in her bra and blocked her entire field of vision. She tried to clear her vision, but then the kitten started batting at it and very tiny sharp kitten claws dug into her abs like scaples.
It was only by her reflexes that she didn't land on the kitten as her foot caught on something she couldn't see (probably a box of mason jars) and hit the deck with a grunt.
"AND YOU'RE OUT!"
Skoll rolled onto her back and sighed, laughing despite loosing.
Albite rolled over from his sprawl, slowly accepting that this was his fate now -- to be hugged by snakes --- so long as he wasn't dyinnnggg-ooohh-a-girl!! The maid that made it all happen!! He hadn't caught her name but he did take her card with light in his eyes, with shine, with STARS IN HIS VISION BECAUSE OMG A CARD!?!! It was the consolation prize he'd never expected, and he whispered 'thank you mystery businessmaidwoman'.
Then rolled right back over to watch the rest of the finale with his snake companions---
It was spectacular!!
Fur, fists, fury, flying!! BODIES HITTING THE FLOOR!
Then The Heartbreaker was left standing, Albite tucked the card away safely and began a slow applause. Nikki really had always been her own person, didn't need him or anyone else to protect her. Could love herself well enough n save the world through that same love, probably. Cerberus thought it was maybe time for him to get up and go---even if it took a bit of snake de-tanglement to manage it.
Nikki deserved to have her win all unperturbed by him~
a-disgruntled-dragon
CONGRATS ON SECOND PLACE! Sparta -- Sparta you triedddd!!
stari_maga
WOOOOO HEARTBREAKER!!
lizbot
Emily -- Emily you are the best! Poor Diablo!!! Todd --- toddmahboy...
Seiana_ZI
Careful the curse doesnt follow you Olympian man!
Strickenized
Love you too Firerbrand, I'll catch you n the boys later!! ALSO WHAT A KNOCKOUT CAT!
Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 6:36 pm
"THE DOG OF HELL WAS EATEN BY THE SNAKES OF THE EARTH! CERBERUS IS OOOOOOOOUT!"
"THAT DOG KNOWS A HAUNTED DOLL WHEN HE SEES IT! THE SENSATION HAS LOST THE SENSATION OF PUPPY LOVE!"
"MR SPARKLES HAS DECIDED TO TAKE ON THE DON! IT'S THE HEAD TO HEAD BATTLE OF THE HEAVYWEIGHTS WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ANNNNDD!"
"DOUBLE ELIMINATION?! WHAT AN UPSET! WHAT AN AMAZING BATTLE OF THE BULGING MUSCLE AND FUZZY TUMTUMS!"
"THE DUST HASN'T EVEN CLEARED THE AIR AND WOLFMISTRESS HAS BECOME THE KITTEN CATASTROPHE! AND THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS!"
MacGruber paused as a volunteer ran up to the DJ booth and whispered hurriedly in his ear. With an abrupt nod, the host turned to Yukio and said, "Hey son, can you get Renegade, yeah the one by Styx, going real loud?" As the song began, the section of the track dedicated to shopping began to move, goods being thrown into cars, doors and trunks getting slammed shut. Speaking into the mic, he announced, "THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS! THE HEARTBREAKER IS DESTINY CITY'S NEW HE MAN THE MAN! A BIG THANKS TO ALL OUR BRAVE CONTESTANTS WHO PUT ON A GREAT SHOWING HERE AT THE NIGHT MARKET! AND NOW IT BEEN REAL AND IT'S BEEN FUN AND BOY DO I HATE TO SHUT AND RUN, BUT THE COPS ARE ON COMIN' AND WE'RE UNDER THE GUN! KINDY GET OUTTA HERE FOLKS, SAFELY EXIT ONE BY ONE!"
Turning off the mic, he gestured to some nearby volunteers, "Help our DJ pack up right fast!"
Though it was a THE COPS ARE COMIN announcement and most people were rushing, there was a certain orderliness to the exit. No car accidents or trampled bodies at the Night Market! Clearly the majority of people here had experienced something like this once or twice before.
Nobody paid too much mind to those who took advantage to loot something off the ground or the not-quite empty bins for an extra complimentary souvenir. A few experienced people took the chance to try their luck at those bins, waddling frantically away from the racing grounds much like the contestants had just a bit prior.
A month and change later would see another Night Market, and this time with two new additions to the race grounds: a statue of The Heartbreaker, posed victoriously and fashionably, with a plaque declaring her THE HE MAN THE MAN of Destiny City! And right next to it was a statue of a small, rather uh, sturdily built cat, a small plaque at its feet reading: MR. SPARKLES: HE NYAN THE NYAN of Destiny City!
Quote:
AND THAT'S A WRAP! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PLAYING EVERYONE!
tatterpixie
bless u yukio ty for ur services
stari_maga
CONGRATS TO THE LADY FOR PROVING GIRL POWER SO DEFINITIVELY
Strickenized
obviously by popular demand!
lizbot
No Faun
Online
lizbot
No Faun
Online
Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 6:56 pm
7eleven Todd
With a groan, Todd stood up with his load of goods and gave the contest's trash bins a longing gaze before shaking his head. After a minute he saw an ex from high school and waved the guy down with a hopeful and slightly apologetic smile. They were still on friendly enough terms that he gave him a ride home and Todd offered up his recent breakup-by-text to him on the altar of socialization and making him laugh.
All in all, Todd was now laden with canned food, unscathed, and free to enjoy the rest of the night. Not bad.
[ exit ]
Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 7:02 pm
Emily Moffat
Dwight showed up just in time with a Starbucks and new Rolex. Apparently he'd bet significantly on The Breaker. Passing off her box of light sticks along with all the thermos bottles for him to handle, she left him with a terse, "I'm going to make sure people get home safely. Don't wait up."
[ exit ]
lizbot
No Faun
Online
tatterpixie
Tipsy Codger
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Posted: Wed Mar 22, 2023 8:30 pm
"Yesssssssssss," Yukio hissed to himself with a small fist pump as Nectaris was declared the winner. MOON POWER! Then the small round orchestrator of this beyond epic competition requested 'Renegade' by Styx and he obliged with all due haste – only to hear that the cops were coming. Quickly he dismantled his rig as a small army of volunteers descended on him like roadies for a band that had to make a quick tear-down for the headliner, which was the case here in a manner of speaking, the headliner being the cops.
Within a few minutes all his gear was back on the rental truck he'd used to bring it to the Night Market and he was behind the wheel, bidding a fond and fast adieu to the late-night mayhem.
Against at least one being. He watched with some level of glee as Mr. Sparkles the Nyan ran at Don Diablos and successfully knocked that lug of a former wrestler over on his a**. It only benefited so much, though: while Mr. Sparkles did technically get the knockdown, he didn't do it without sending his own book and plastic tree flying.
"MR. SPARKLES!" yelled Zachariah, coughing afterward because straining his throat at all when he spent most days barely saying more than one hundred words felt like he was trying to tear it open with Faust's ******** claws-- "YOU DID SO WELL!"
Didn't he beat like -- every single one of the strongmen?
"YOU ARE THE MANLIEST MAN!"
But the manliest man now needed to be ... gathered up and brought back home so he could get that damn bandaid contraption off his head. And so they didn't get their asses arrested because ******** twelve in particular--
He descended out of the stands, went to go collect the cat who had nagged him to bring him, and slipped into the shadows--
strickenized
Seiana_ZI
Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Strickenized
Garbage Cat
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Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2023 4:29 am
Faust, Not a Guardian Cat
"Meow," was Mr. Sparkles's grand insight upon seeing his majestic statue, as he was being carried away by his faithful slaveservant cheerleader.