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 Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:00 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:29 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 6:25 pm
Dream Journal:
All my fault...
"I'll only be gone three weeks." He smiled and brushed her hair out of her face. His touch was heaven; she smiled back as his hand ran softly down her neck.
Three weeks...
Three months later...
Her world was dark. She was trapped in her apartment room. The power was shut down, phones disconnected; she read books by candlelight.
Her eyes grew weary with the strain. She could guess it was well past two in the morning. But she stayed up, kept reading.
All she had left now were books. She was left alone, just like before...
So she turned back to the only thing that would never abandon her...
Her books, her characters, her ficticious plots.
But then, the words began to melt right off the pages. They dripped down like melting wax, out of the book, over her lap, her hands.
It burned. Emerwyn screamed and jumped up, throwing the book away.
The 'wax' stayed caked on her thick, clinging to her flesh. It was black and shimmered sickly. She tried desperately to tear it off, but it seemed to have melded with her flesh. The writing fused with the writer.
Gradually, it began to spread over her entire body, down her legs, up her arms. She struggled, kneeling down on the ground, crying and screaming.
It moved up her neck and began to cover her face.
In submission, Emerwyn lay herself on the floor. It wasn't any use anymore.
She brought this on herself. She deserved it. She'd let it come silently.
The White Stag ran away into the distance.
The dead tree crumbled to the ground, ash.
The green checkered paths withered away.
Everything she'd built up and destoyed left. Just as it should. Maybe now, she could stop the pain she'd caused, by giving into her own.
But the pain wasn't over. It was all her fault.
She knew it was all her fault.
Faces appeared. All of the people she'd met since the wreck.
Amaya, Colche, Emelyn, Lauren, and countless others whom she'd only met in passing, sneering at her, glaring at her in contempt.
She had hurt all of them, too.
Moreau appeared. It was a frightening sight.
He was a bloody mass, his once handsome face hardly discernable anymore.
He limped slowly toward her, in his hands was a large sword. One of his hands clutched the blade of the sword, and was trailing blood behind him.
Silver glints shone through the blood that covered the sword.
As he grew closer, Emerwyn grew more horrified to realize that most of the blood covering the Doctor was not his own. The crowd behind him were all doubled over, bleeding in several places, making moans of agony.
A manic grin appeared on Moreau's face.
He lifted the sword. It plunged into Emerwyn's right shoulder, pinning her to the wall. She gasped, kicking her legs, which were now raised off the gorund.
Moreau leaned in close. "It's all in your head... that's all... you're not sick.
... But you make everyone else sick. All of this." He gestured out with his free hand. "YOU did this."
"I did this..."
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 6:26 pm
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 5:08 pm
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Posted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 9:05 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:10 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 4:15 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 4:15 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 10:47 pm
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Posted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 11:18 pm
Emerwyn wavered on the threshold to her room, much as she did in the jungle.
Her eyes wandered across, surveying it as a stranger viewed another's home. Her feet found their way in, the rest of her body following.
Her papers still lay on the bedstand, and taped to the wall. Her book still lay on her bed.
She looked down at the book, her expression blank. In the darkness, it was a hardly discernable shape. Her hand reached down and lifted it. Holding it briefly to her chest, she breathed in, deeply.
Then, she knelt down, and slid it under the bed. She gathered the rest of her papers. Her poetry, extra photos, and placed them underneath as well.
Without even a glance at herself in the mirror, she lay down on top of the covers, and slipped into another heavy, dreamless sleep.
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Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:31 pm
The morning welcomed Emerwyn with the pain of a body not used to sleeping in a proper bed. With a groan, Emerwyn got up, her sorrows temporarily forgotten in her physical distress. As quickly as she was able, she got undressed and went straight to the shower.
The hot, steamy waters coursed over her, running clear, then turning brown as it passed her body. Her cuts and scrapes were all opened anew, and traces of blood ran fresh. But now, they would be cleansed, and would soon fully heal. It seemed her face would scar, as would her hand.
She remained in the shower for nigh on three hours, scrubbing ever square inch of her body, cleaning out every strand of hair.
Her short, coarse fur proved to be a very good holding place for dirt and sand.
When she had finished, and was clothed in the fresh clothes left in her room before she was cast into the wild, it was around noon. She needed food. But first...
She reached under her bed, and pulled out one scrap of paper, and one dark pencil.
She curled up on the floor, legs crossed, poring over the paper. She went over words very rarely. It all came out, and she hummed to herself as she went:
In courage blighted from the fall
I took my final stand.
Ris'n half-hearted to the call
To bring this story's end.
Eyes look onward toward my face
For one last memory.
Who I once was now leaves this place
But, not before I see
"I wish to see them. I wish to see that they are alright."
Emerwyn spoke to herself. She couldn't bear to speak with either Ian or Julian again, but she had to know how they were, see with her own eyes.
"I must find them... and I must go unseen."
"My brave warriors..."
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Posted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:02 pm
Back Home - Lyra and Ketta Lyra's eyes went in and out of focus as she pored over papers she had read twenty times before. She had run herself to a dead end, yet still she labored. But, tonight, she realized it was over. Three soft knocks sounded on the door, and it slowly swung open. The light from the hall glared into the dimly lit office, and Lyra squinted at the small figure that appeared before her. Ketta closed the door silently, and moved to Lyra's desk in the center of the room, where she sat with one dim lamp. Ketta cleared away some files and parchments and placed a tray of tea in their place. "Thank you," Lyra croaked. Ketta smiled. "How's it going?" Seven months since Emerwyn disappeared. Ten since Jerrick. "The same." Lyra sipped the tea, wincing at its bitterness. She removed herself wearily from the leather chair, surveying her temporary office since she'd taken on the case. Old coffee cups lay in a pile overflowing the small trash bin. Notes and papers of all sorts lay strewn about. Granola bar wrappers littered the immediate floor about the desk. Lyra ran her fingers through her blonde, frayed hair. Dreams of her two dearest friends haunted her mind, with the thing that she herself knew but could not believe. Her logical mind wouldn't allow it. "I can't do it anymore, Ketta" She didn't make eye contact with the other, younger woman; her head was bowed, her voice soft. She began to pace, as often she would when she was anxious or uncomfortable. She wasn't very good at informal speech. The only way she could find her words was when speaking in terms of logic and reason. An outsider's informed view. Speaking of a logical, standard form. Speaking in terms of law. Her home was the courtroom. But this wasn't the courtroom. This was her friend's home; she was speaking to her close friend. "Lyra-" Ketta made a motion. "It's over. We'll never find them." They were the hardest words to say. "No!" Ketta rushed around the desk, towards Lyra. It was almost comical, watching her 'scold' this six foot tall woman, she herself standing less than five and a half feet. "You said- you told me - We Knew." "But, there's no proof." Lyra said, exasperated. "We've been through this." "They both disappeared in a journey overseas. No trace of them left. They both-" "Emerwyn was on the S.S. Salvation, Ketta. The Salvation went under. No one was found." "But remember. We found out, with Emerwyn-" " Goddammit, Ketta!" Lyra's fingers slipped, and the fragile china teacup fell to the polished wood floor, shattering and splashing. Her hands trembled, her breathing heavy, and she backed into a soft, straight-backed chair against the wall. "I know - you know, what happened," she whispered slowly. "But we can't prove it in the courts, or anywhere, for that matter. Especially without Emerwyn." Ketta was taken aback. She made no motion to clean the mess on the floow. She moved not while Lyra spoke. "I want to believe. I want to. I want to help Jerrick... But, we've run out. Of luck, of time... of hope." Ketta moved toward the broken woman, and knelt before her, placing her hands on Lyra's knees. She looked now even more childlike. Her eyes pleaded with Lyra. "Emerwyn would not give up hope." "Emerwyn is dead!" Ketta's whole body froze up. She looked, stunned, at Lyra for a while, trying to think of something to say. Then, she sighed, getting up slowly, and leaving the room without another word.
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 4:28 pm
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 4:46 pm
Emerwyn made her silent way back to her room, yet unseen. She paced around a bit, then flung herself onto the bed. She was restless, not knowing what to do with herself.
Becoming invisible was lonely.
Yet, something inside Emerwyn told her that she couldn't come back yet. She had yet to find Ian or Julian. Trapped in her own head and delusions, she could not quit what she'd started.
After all, it wasn't that hard, really. It wasn't as though this lifestyle was anything new to Emerwyn. She'd spent the first 15 years of her life like this, unheard, unnoticed. Not even unnwanted. It was simply, no one even knew she was there.
Emerwyn sat up, and curled into a ball, hugging her pillow.
"My family had what they called 'old money.' My mother had inherited the estate, and the small fortune that went with it. However, most of that 'fortune' was gone within the first five years of my parents' marriage. Naught was left but the title, the land, and the debt hiding in the walls.
"Still, they acted like they were still rich. My mother buying things we couldn't afford. I had a personal tutor. I never attended public schools.
"Though I was bought the nicest clothing, and provided for beyond what any child should want, I was not happy. My parents simply ignored me. I hardly ever saw them, not even on holidays. They left me in one part of the house. The part that contained the library. Whenever I heard my parents fighting, which became icreasingly often, I'd curl up in a big chair in front of the fireplace, and disappear into my books for a few hours.
"I never went outside. It's not like I was prohibited from leaving the house, though my parents did frown upon it from what I could tell. I just didn't feel it would be much different from the life I lived inside. The only life I knew. I didn't know any other children. It was as though the world were carrying on, no one at all knowing that I existed.
"But, my friends knew. My characters. The people I met on the pages. They acknowledged me. They cared. They told me their deepest secrets, their desires and dreams.
"I didn't need anyone but them then...
Then, I met Jerrick."
Emerwyn leaned back against the wall.
It would be different. Back then, no one noticed her, or cared about her.
Now, she was trying to hide from those who cared.
The other part of her told her it was a bad idea. But she didn't even know it existed.
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