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Dude...

Yet it is easily broken, and can be melted only by a jutsu of a higher rank. Also, Hyoton users can form jutsus with only one hand by using one handed seals.

...but yeah, the Trauma thing is made up.

ugh...

If you actually read the sample, you'd know I was usingthe ice to Make my Cold breeze jutsu within colder and colder until it weathered away all of the ice, wich wouldn't take long. and if you actually read it you'd know what the Suna ninja did. This isn't against you, and it is a fairly good plan, Because if I cool it down more than it should normally be, then it would cause a shitload more damage to you, and it would cause minor damage to me.

Yes Hinote we all understand that you want every little aspect of a jutsu described. The fact of the matter is, I could write out a freaking paragraph for one ******** jutsu, and you would still say you want more.

What happens when you super freeze just about anything? It becomes brittle, easily breakable. Why do you think things made of metal in Syberia have to be handled with care? BECAUSE it is FROZEN! If you were to hit it with enough force, a kick for a freaking millimeter thick peice of unfolded metal, then it would shatter. Also, Guess what? You can catch a freaking blade, and a fire needs oxygen to survive. If you put your hands on the source of a fire it goes out. If you expand your hands and water converges upon it, and covers the blade, it goes out. Now, when you finish the jutsu, IT FREEZES!

I'm somewhat irrate because I made it fairly good as to Cobra's standards, and honestly I think that should suffice, But just for you hinote, Each freaking jutsu is now getting a paragraph.

Rpc Name:
Kenji Kana

Village:
Iwagakure

Rank:
Academy student

Bloodline or Clan applied for:
Hyouton

What you know about the clan/bl:

Hyouton- Haku's Kekkai Genkai, Ice manipulation

The users are able to mold water and wind to create ice.
This ice isn't able to withstand much, and melts against fire jutsu one rank above the jutsu's rank, Granted this melting is hardly enough to destroy the entire ice, but it can leave the ice weakened. Hyouton ninja are able to create their own ice, unlike other ninja who use Snow and Ice. Also they are capable of using one handed seals.

Rp Sample:

Kenji stood at the edge of the well in Sunagakure. He focused a bit and water came up to the top, and doused the sand around him. Freezing the water on the sand, Kenji raised it into the air, focusing as he did so. This wasn't a practical jutsu, and was extremely hard to control. Yet somehow he had managed to convince most of Sunagakure that it was his element. He had effectively taken refuge in this village. He had even made some "Friends” as they called themselves. He knew they weren't friends, yet he dreaded that he might have to kill them. "Man, Now of all times to let my Sand thaw.” He said shaking his head he sighed, making the sand land into his gourd. "Man, the Research squad really knows their stuff. I couldn't even tell the difference between this gourd, and a real Sunagakure gourd. "He said laughing.

"Kenji?” Two Genin said, walking out from behind a wall. "Did you just... Use a Suiton jutsu? "They said in unison, looking at their friend.” We thought that you had dedicated yourself to Sand type jutsu... "They said, noticing the ice where he stood.” Wait... Not just that, you use ice? Only Yukigakure ninja can use that... "The both gasped and looked at Kenji.” You are a Yuki Ninja! "They said, freaking out.

"No! I'm an Iwa Ninja. "Kenji said, Making hand signs, the water in the well shot out, into the air making a ten foot by ten foot Glacier and dropping it directly in front of them. The Glacier started as a small hail stone, but got bigger and shaped better, until it reached its maximum size. Kenji used it again and again, until they were all encased in the makeshift igloo. Two on each side, two long and two wide. Even two tall." Ninja art, Ice block. "Kenji said, a smile crossing his face.” I'm sorry guys, but I can't let you out. "He said sighing; He had made it small enough only half of his chakra was exhausted. He could manage these two mediocre people. "Now, Let us begin.” He said, Making a Ten by ten Glacier over the Well entrance. He made more hand signs, a bubble appearing in the Glacier, and slowly spreading. "Now, Let us finish this. If you two can defeat me, I will pay the price for infiltrating your village and you will be considered heroes. "He said, playing on their weakness.

"Heh, One of you against both of us?” They said, jumping up onto the Ice block. One quickly made hand signs, and inhaled. He exhaled a huge amount of fire, and his friend made hand signs and expelled a huge amount of air, The Two collided, making a huge fireball head directly towards Kenji. Keji just sighed and jumped into other air, Making hand signs, He smiled at his "friends" and said. "Zero grip.” He then ran, not sliding an inch on the ice. He ran around the blast, fast enough that the Genin couldn't see him. He threw two handfuls of senbon into the side of the one that used the Katon jutsu, and jumped over, landing squarely. He turned and threw some senbon into the Genin that had used the Fuuton jutsu. "Now, let’s do it this way.” He said, making hand signs with one hand. He Grabbed a Senbon in his other, Ready to fend off Kunai or Shuriken with it. "Ice Swallow.” He said, sending some Ice from the Ceiling of the Box he had made out of ice directly at the Two Genin. The Air pocket in the Glacier they stood on was huge now. A loud whirring noise could be heard distinctly.

"Damn! My Right half is immobilized! The one on the right said, trying to limp away, but his right leg was struck, His foot being frozen to the Block of ice beneath him. "My Left Side as well!” The one on the left said, jumping away, but tripping backwards. He drove a couple of senbon on his back into his body, not dealing a heavy death blow, but he would die from it. "Damn!” He said His arms, legs, and even his neck getting bound to the Glacier below him. "Curse you!” He said, trying to move. His Katon counterpart tried to move as well, not succeeding. "Dammitt! I'm using fire! Why won't this melt! "He said yelling. He reached for his Kunai and began throwing all that he had at Kenji. "We trusted you! We even showed you our scrolls! "He said, coughing up blood.

"Heh, Child's play." Kenji said, blocking all of the Kunai and shuriken. Kenji looked down and laughed. "Now you guys will see how I lived.” He said laughing, attaching to the Ice on the ceiling, he pushed off. He was going to escape at the Last second. That wind was enough to harm him. The Glacier exploded with cold air, The Two Genin's bodies flying off, hitting the walls of the Box in which they were encased. The entire place was covered in ice in a matter of second. Kenji made quick hand signs; The Ice that attached to him began to form into armor, covering every inch of his body. "Ice Armor.” He said smiling, going directly down the well hole. He felt the water hit his armor, and He looked above. He smiled. Even though he was in ice, he still felt cold, because of the temperature of that storm. The two Genin were frozen by now. He canceled all of the Glacier jutsu, and cast another one, at the Bottom of the well. He smiled, making a Cold breeze below it, He used it as a launching pad for himself, Rocketing himself into the air. He Smiled. "Fuuton, Air riding.” He said, Making two air bubbles underneath his feet, he made them have ice steps which he stood on. He laughed as he flew through the air, although he knew he was about to pass out, he wanted to at least get halfway home before he did so.

Cobra covered pretty much all of what I cared about. What was left was jutsu description. And I did give specifics I believe. Or are you asking me to basically write it for you?

What I don't want is for this to be something you just build onto over and over until it's so long nobody in their right mind would read it, or just keep making new samples until you get one that passes. This needs to be something you can do on your own. If I have to correct every inch of your application, and then finally approve it, what happens when you get out into the RP? Obviously, you're going to go back to your normal style, and probably lose half the stuff that was piled on during the approval process. So I don't tell you how to fix the problem, just what needs to be fixed. That way whatever comes out is still something you could do under normal circumstances, because nobody is going to be there to fuss over your every post.

Now, as Cobra asked you earlier... Please make an entirely new sample, with all of the stuff we have gone over. Keep it to the point, which is showing your use of the bloodline abilities, and try not to make it stupidly long. Thank you.

Or you could pester Cobra into doing the complete judging on it himself if you really think he'll be kinder then myself. I'm willing to trust his judgment, and he has just as much sway here as I do right now. I don't much care either way. It'd be easier for me if he did it really.

Hiiiiiinote.

Tenshi:O.O that was a very good,but very disturbing rp sample.It showed you knew how to use it,and what it did.So i will approve it,but remember it can be overturned

Be thankful I'm giving you this before you write a sample. Naga is considered an extremely powerful clan, and will not be granted. Panthers7, the creator of this clan, agrees with me 100%. Your Hyoton application will be looked at instead.

Ok Denied...first it is hardly melts against fire attacks...and 2nd you have to use at least one hand to freeze the water….And please use spell check…when I went on word a lot of this is spelt wrong…Fix this so my eyes don’t bleed while I read the rest of it.