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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 2:01 am
Luke: * waking up in horror * GAH! I just had a nightmare. I dreamed I did my sister, then R2, then old Ben... C3P0: Shh, shh, shh... It was only a bad dream. Luke: Yeah... Yeah... C3P0: Want me to hold you?
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Posted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 9:05 pm
Copy: May I introduce the our new light reconnaissance vehicle! It has four-inch armour plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12LRV! I like to call it the Warthog. Doc: Why Warthog, sir? Copy: Because "M12LRV' is too hard to say in conversation, son. Theta: No, but... Why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig. Copy: Say that again. Theta: I think it looks more like a puma. Copy: What in Sam Hell is a puma? Doc: You mean like the shoe company? Theta: No. Like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion. Copy: You're makin' that up. Theta: I'm telling you, it's a real animal. Copy: Doc, I want you to poison Psycho's next meal. Doc: Yes, sir! Copy: [Points at front of the Warthog] Look, see these two tailhooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks? Theta: A walrus. Copy: [Shoots Theta in the head, then empties the rest of his ammo into the dead man's chest.] Ive been waiting too long to do that. And it was worth every shot.
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2006 12:15 am
( Con.t )
Iota: Oops, I crashed it. * presses X on one of her devices and it magically flips upright *
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Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 8:43 pm
cont.
*ten seconds later- aka respawn*
Theta: You know, just because you don't get a good punchline doesn't mean that you have to ruin the sketch. Now the BBC is going to go broke since they have to pay someone 50 pounds to pull a stunt like that...
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:52 am
( Cont. Think back to original Halo )
* Iota quits the game, then starts playing the Campaign *
Captain: I don't keep it loaded so you'll have to find ammo as you go. * hands Iota a blaster pistol *
* Iota's newly obatined blaster pistol magically has a charged clip *
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Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:55 pm
*Meanwhile on a nearby cliff*
Sigma: What is that thing? Omikron: I dunno, looks like they got some kinda car down there. We better get back to base and report it. Sigma: How come they get a car? Omikron: What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop. Sigma: You cant pick up chicks in a tank. Omikron: you could b***h about anything couldnt you? We're about to get a tank and your worried about chicks, what chicks are we going to pick up man? Secondly what chicks are we going to pick up in a car that looks like that? Sigma: What kind of car is it? Omikron: Dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a big cat of some kind. Sigma: What like a puma? Omikron: Yeah there you go.
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Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:16 pm
**cont**
Sigma: Dude let's steal that s**t.
Omikron: How?
Sigma: Hello? I have a friggin EMP cannon I lug around on my back. I'll fry the thing, they'll freak out and leave, we jack it and drive it around again!
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Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:58 am
*cont.*
Omikron: How are we going to drive it again if you already blew it up with an EMP cannon?
Sigma: We can fix it later.
Omikron: With what?
Sigma: ....With.....stuff.
Omikron: ..........
Sigma: What?
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:22 pm
cont.
Sigma: Shut up man, I have a frickin Jetpack.
Omikron : *narrows eyes*
Sigma: Fine, what's your plan?
Omikron: ... EMP cannon it is.
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:54 am
Star Wars: The Musical
( Everything they say is done in sing-song voice. )
Vader: Luke, I am your fa-a-ther! Luke: No! How can this be? You can't be related to me! Vader: It's true! Don't be blue! Stormies: * come in, doing the can can * He's your daddy. He's your daddy. He's your daddy, boy! Luke: No! That's impossible! And very improbable! Vader: Don't deny it. I wouldn't lie it. Luke: But it just can't be true. Who did you screw? Vader: Pa-a-dme, your mo-o-ther! Luke: * lights dim, spotlight just on him * Nooooo! * falls to knees * How can it be this bad? Why does he have to be.... MMYYYYYY DAAAAAAAAD?
* spotlight on Luke fades, dramatic closing music *
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 7:12 am
Cont. (Applause comming from the audience. In the furthest most seats Cale and Rain watch in a mix of confusion and disapproval.) Cale: Wow...they did take Artistic Liscence with this.
Rain: What do you expect from the musical adaptation of Luke Skywalker's unofficial Biography?
Cale: No, no, they got the "Luke was a whiny b***h" part down. But Dancing and singing Stormies?
Rain: Dont forget Vader.
Cale: Yeah. Thats a horrible presintation of him. Vader wasnt a big scarry black guy. He was a whiny blond guy. Thats where luke got it from.
Rain: ....are you still the only guy who doesnt know that Vader and that black scary dude are the same person?
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 7:17 am
Cont. (Solms standing in the Front Row Applauding) Solms: Brilliant! Magnificent! a Tour de Force! What writing! What talent! This musical stirs the heart and soul with its power! (Loads his gun) Solms: and anyone who disagrees with me gets a faceful of Hot Tibanna!
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:27 pm
Cont.
(FP and Nelo in the balcony seats)
Nelo: Yay that was amazing! FP: Glorious. Nelo: Stupendous. FP: Not half bad. Nelo: It was good. FP: It was okay. Nelo: It was alright. FP: Well there were some parts I didnt like. Nelo: It was bad. FP: It was awful. Nelo: Terrible. FP: Waste of twenty bucks. Nelo: Booo! FP: Boo!
((If anyone can guess what this is a parody of gets major props.))
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 7:34 pm
(( Monty Python? * shrug * ))
* GL comes running down the ailse, gets on stage *
GL: Thank you. I'm pleased that my renditi-
* DA pops up from behind a random row of seats with a laser cannon *
DA: OH HELL NO! You are NOT taking credit for this one, bi-atch! * lasers GL good *
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Darkened Angel Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 10:56 pm
((actually, it sounds like those muppets in the balcony. Can never remember their names))
Act three:
3P0: When in tattooine, I heard and seen, a hutt with an angry glance. He'd kill and steal, and is for real, and I think, he stole Han's Pants....
R2: Beep Beepbeep boop, beep boop bwop blurp, beep doop *whistle*
3P0: I know that godsend, my little friend, but the chicks there are *chickatt*
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