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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:44 pm
One, i'm somewhat sure, but not completely sure that you aren't the bloodline approver.
Second, did you not notice I had him stick his hands in his sachel after a couple of seconds? Like when he made the large bird as well as some things.
Third, Yes he only used it once, but it never said he couldn't use it more often. Besides one of his techniques is far too large to have anything to do with his hands.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:46 pm
Not to mention that one was a bit sarcastically wrote out.
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:51 pm
One, The crew is back on free range, so I do have the right to check these.
Second, simply stuffing your hands into the bag isn't enough to tell us what is happening.
Third, the fact that the mouth on his chest was sewed shut and quite thoroughly sealed, and the instant he stuffed clay into it he exploded, I'd say it was a last resort option.
And are you forgetting that all of his explosive sculptures were made in miniature, and then got larger when he wanted them to? The size makes no difference whatsoever.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 5:56 pm
Spider you shouldn't argue with the crew. Hinote is only trying to help and he did in fact give you some pretty good advice. It's not like he said you can never have the bloodline he justs wants you to edit it so I think it would be in your best interest to do so. Not to mention that Hinote is one of the few mods actually approving/declining anything so you should be thankful that he is taking the time to help you out. Just chill out bro and redo the sample.
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Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:24 pm
Rpc Name: Kenji Kana
Village: ( Whichever needs me. )
Rank: academy student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hyouton
What you know about the clan/bl: I've only Read the first stage at this point in time, not seeing a reason to read ahead because I have to hit Jonin first.
Hyouton- Haku's kekkei genkai, Ice manipulation
The users are able to mold water and wind to create ice. This ice isn't able to withstand much, and melts against fire jutsu one rank above the jutsu's rank. However the bloodline must be activated through a tramatic experience. such as for example Haku was attacked by his father after his mother was killed. Thus he killed his father by filling the house infront of his father with Ice, and then sent spikes of ice through the entire house. Thus spearing his father.
Rp Sample: Kenji sat at the edge of a dune, his back to the village of sunagakure. He sighed, his arms and legs wrapped around a gourd that looked as if it contained sand. " Man... I shouldn't have done that... " He said sighing, resting his head on the gourd. " If I die then those suna ninja will get the Research squad's work. " He said stroking the gourd. He smiled and moved to open the lid, Not being able to in time. He ran in a vicious line away from the gourd about twenty feet infront of it.
" You aren't a Suna ninja are you? " The Chunnin said, looking down at Kenji from atop the dune. A Kunai had been thrown at Kenji, but it had entered the sand, for later use. " I'm sorry, but i have to kill you. " He Said, sand falling off of his shoulders from where he used the Sand insentanious body technique. " So, Let's end this quickly, I still have paperwork to do. " He said, running forwards, slowly.
" Oh, paperwork? Does that mean you aren't battle trained? " Kenji said laughing, Throwing a senbon he smiled. at the speed he threw them, it would have no trouble punturing a hole in the Gourd. The Senbon he threw was easily shot into the gourd, falling in Kenji quickly, and almost inconsievably made handsigns, enough for two jutsu. Almost as quickly as he had made the handsigns he smiled and said. " Hidden mist jutsu. Followed by Hail. " He said smiling. The gourd Shot out mist with a horrible hissing noise, making the Sand nin stop. As soonas the mist would envelop him, out of his sight it would condense into a cloud and rain down spears of ice upon his body. But Kenji was a good enough shot with this technique, even through the Mist, that he would only disable the ninja using this technique.
The sand nin stoped and drew two nodachi, he turned to his left so he could see both Kenji and the gourd. He was starting to panic, he had never encountered mist before, so he had no idea what was coming. He began to swing wildly ath the mist, as if he though it was solid. When it envoloped him he began to freak out because he thought he had gone blind. " Oh god! My eyesight is gone! " He said, swinging his nodachi wildly. a loud shooop! Noise could be heard as the Spears began to fall directly at his arms and legs. He sustained three to the arms, on on the left, two on the right. And one in each knee, disabling the legs for good as the knee was completely obliterated. " Gyah! " The Suna nin said, falling to his horribly destroyed knees. he lay there for a couple of minutes, no blood escaping due to the fact that the Hail jutsu's spears were beginning to expand.
" Third jutsu. Cold Breeze. " He Said, slowly making more handsigns, the mist began to swirl around the two within a twenty foot radius. The Suna ninja was unaccustomed to this sudden change, and his ears and the sides of his face as well as his arms and legs began to blister and turn red with blood as the ice particles in the air repeatedly cut him. Kenji smiled and began jumping around through the now icing over desert. " Ahhh! I feel so at home with this happening. " He said laughing. " Oh, I forgot about my final Jutsu. Ice Swallow. " He said laughing, making handsigns and laughing again as his mist solidified behind him and shot at the Suna nin, fifty little icecicles flew directly at the Suna ninja, and impaled him as he was immobile. Kenji laughed and waved his arm, canceling all of his jutsu. Kenji sat down for a minute and caught his breath laughing. He stood up and used Water manipulation jutsu to manipulate the water he had used back into his gourd, sealing the hole up with a peice of ice. " There we go. Time to go back to My village now. " He said, picking up a Kunai that was half unburied in the sand. " Huh... I'm glad that I hit him first, he was using sand to manipulate this little b*****d at me. " Kenji deduced as he pulled it out. Well, I guess I'll return it. " He said laughing, throwing it into the Skull of the Suna ninja.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 10:37 am
I am going to need another opinion on this one,but besides the part where you contradicted yourself by using hand signs, its look ok
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:26 am
Even though I don't have reign over anything, I'd just like to say this.
Kumo, it appears that you've apparently misunderstood some of the Konaga bloodline, since the raging spirit on appears once, which is when the user loses control of their chakra. Also, it only flares out in a pure burst that the user cannot control. I think it would help if you did some research on them, like finding some of Cobra's posts, and reading some of his fights. Awfully useful.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:14 pm
Alpha_Misa-of_the_wolfs I am going to need another opinion on this one,but besides the part where you contradicted yourself by using hand signs, its look ok The Hyouton jutsu according to the description doesn't take signs, because it states I make the ice with my mind. I used handsigns on the parts that weren''t my bloodling.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:18 pm
Metaphorically Insane Even though I don't have reign over anything, I'd just like to say this. Kumo, it appears that you've apparently misunderstood some of the Konaga bloodline, since the raging spirit on appears once, which is when the user loses control of their chakra. Also, it only flares out in a pure burst that the user cannot control. I think it would help if you did some research on them, like finding some of Cobra's posts, and reading some of his fights. Awfully useful. I can't have the Konaga which is why I made this latest rp sample.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:28 pm
(k but still i want another opinion)
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:45 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:10 pm
Don't bump this thread. It won't help you.
Also, I'm not even reading that sample. All I had to read was your "What I know" section, and the comments you have made here to know this needs to be denied.
For one thing, you made up several aspects of the bloodline that are not mentioned at all. Unless there are two copies and the one I have open is different than the one you studied that is. I would recommend actually reading the bloodline page before making an application, because none of the stuff in that section is actually in the bloodline. Except of course for the wind and water, but that's common knowledge.
Admittedly, the bloodline needs to be fleshed out a lot more, but your application is not the place to do it.
Misa: You should probably also read the bloodline before making a judgment, because very often something that looks okay, will turn out to be completely wrong. Always have the bloodline page open in a second tab or window while reading an application if you're going to do these.
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:20 pm
I don't understand what happened to it, So I'll change that bit. check back in about five or six minutes.
I bumped so it would show up better. You know what happened last time I had an application.
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:32 pm
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 7:46 pm
I don't know what you're saying you fixed, but the parts of the application that I didn't like haven't changed at all.
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