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 Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:11 pm
StrawberryZ0mbie magic_girl_rose I think i fixed it all and I made apperence adjustments. Alright. After discussing it amongst the crew, we decided that for you to keep her snake control and venom you'll have to impose some reasonable restrictions to balance her out better. Rosentale isn't a combat oriented guild so we try to make sure abilities are kept reasonable so that when fights break out in the school, there aren't any serious or life threatening things happening. That isn't the point of the guild. 1. No fatal venom or things that cause excrutiating pain for a month or permanently maim people or anything like that. You need to just state what the affects of the venom are, and be sure it's temporary. And, of course, you aren't allowed to autohit with this ability (or any other, really). Being that I also have a character who is snake-like, I just want to point out that constricting snakes usually have very, very mild venom so if you want to keep her ability to constrict her tail and kill with it, I would suggest going with an extremely mild venom. If you want the venom to be stronger (but still temporary) then you should probably remove the constricting properties of her tail. 2. Her control of snakes needs the following limitations. First of all, you need to pick a place in the world and only use snakes from that place. We just think it's fair to ensure she's not calling up cobras and black mambas and all the most venomous snakes regardless where they're from. It needs to be limited to a single small area that has a good balance of venomous and non-venomuos snakes. Also, keep in mind that her ability to call snakes to her is going to be limited by the season. For instance, it's currently winter. All snakes are hibernating so she won't be able to use her snake controlling powers until at least mid spring. I hope that all makes sense to you. =3 We just want to make sure that other RPers can feel comfortable RPing with her without feeling like if they make her angry, she'll call up a hundred cobras to bite them or something. ^^ Thanks! i'll just get rid of her control of snakes it's a unneeded power anyway. But can she still talk to any type of snake? Also can the venom just paralize people for like an hour or two?
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:24 pm
magic_girl_rose StrawberryZ0mbie magic_girl_rose I think i fixed it all and I made apperence adjustments. Alright. After discussing it amongst the crew, we decided that for you to keep her snake control and venom you'll have to impose some reasonable restrictions to balance her out better. Rosentale isn't a combat oriented guild so we try to make sure abilities are kept reasonable so that when fights break out in the school, there aren't any serious or life threatening things happening. That isn't the point of the guild. 1. No fatal venom or things that cause excrutiating pain for a month or permanently maim people or anything like that. You need to just state what the affects of the venom are, and be sure it's temporary. And, of course, you aren't allowed to autohit with this ability (or any other, really). Being that I also have a character who is snake-like, I just want to point out that constricting snakes usually have very, very mild venom so if you want to keep her ability to constrict her tail and kill with it, I would suggest going with an extremely mild venom. If you want the venom to be stronger (but still temporary) then you should probably remove the constricting properties of her tail. 2. Her control of snakes needs the following limitations. First of all, you need to pick a place in the world and only use snakes from that place. We just think it's fair to ensure she's not calling up cobras and black mambas and all the most venomous snakes regardless where they're from. It needs to be limited to a single small area that has a good balance of venomous and non-venomuos snakes. Also, keep in mind that her ability to call snakes to her is going to be limited by the season. For instance, it's currently winter. All snakes are hibernating so she won't be able to use her snake controlling powers until at least mid spring. I hope that all makes sense to you. =3 We just want to make sure that other RPers can feel comfortable RPing with her without feeling like if they make her angry, she'll call up a hundred cobras to bite them or something. ^^ Thanks! i'll just get rid of her control of snakes it's a unneeded power anyway. But can she still talk to any type of snake? Also can the venom just paralize people for like an hour or two? Okay, just be sure to keep in mind what I said about snakes from the same region and not having snakes from all over the place popping up. Also, removing a character from commission for that long, RP time is still pretty significant so I would say you should still remove the constricting properties of her tail if she's going to have a venom that can do more than make someone mildly ill. Especially since you haven't given her any of the limitations a reptilian demon would likely have (like being cold blooded, or having very poor eye sight) Also, be sure to address the issue with the flaws I noted in the following post: Quote: Hey! I think I must have misread something earlier (totally my bad) but basically she has two flaws that are essentially the same. In one, she's short tempered and bares her fangs and in the other she bites people when she's angry. Honestly--that's just the same flaw stated twice. I'm sorry I missed that before.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:41 am
 Character Information:
Student Name: Satoru Ichijo.
Gender: Male.
Age: 19.
Sexual Orientation: Bi-curious.
Status: Single.
Race: Vampire. (Pure-blood)
Appearance:
- Height: 6'4.
- Typical traits: Long hair (half the length that's shown in his picture), and his laid-back attitude.
Abilities:
- Eternity/eternal youth: From when he kills/drains his first human. (Happened when he was 17)
- Incredible speed: From when he kills/drains his first human. (Happened when he was 17)
- Affinity for fire: 2 years experience, which means he's - for the time being - able to control fire by increasing it, though he doesn't have much control over this ability.
Personality:
- Cocky: He quite cocky when among people, even though he also enjoys being alone.
- Careless: Does whatever he wants to, except what's forced for him to do – like school.
- Intelligent: Though hates to study. If he wants to know something, he'll research for it.
- Perceptive: Mainly, though it's hard to see under his cockiness and careless nature.
- Persuasive: Due to his high self esteem, intelligence and his looks.
- Protective: For those he cares of; especially his little sister.
Character Flaws:
- Arrogance: It's easy for him to make enemies, when his arrogance goes overboard.
- Recklessness: Whenever someone important to him gets seriously hurt, his whole expression will change, and he becomes distant and cold. If someone approaches him like this, they'd regret it deeply. (If they're lucky enough to get away alive)
- Carelessness: He loves to drink, and when he does, he becomes careless of his "victim", which most likely would be a female he either persuaded to sleep with him, and let him drink of her blood. As he's still a young vampire, it's still hard for him to control this thirst, although he's grown up with it. (Most likely when he's drunk)
Likes:
- Himself.
- Women.
- Alcohol & blood.
- His family.
Dislikes:
- Vampire hybrids.
- Being interrupted.
- School.
Background/Biography:
Satoru Ichijo was born in Japan. Born to become something great. His parents are of high status, which means that he is to become the Heir of their clan, the family created centuries ago. A clan created to exterminate all the imposters of the vampire races - also known as vampire hybrids. His family had always been against mixing the races, which was the main reason for the clan's foundation, Verum Sanguinem.
Most of his life has been about training(every vampire knows that it's good be in a good shape, when they kill their first prey, and their body changes from mortal to immortal, to be able to learn how to control their new abilities easier) and learning how to control himself. His family is what has always been what's most important to him, as he has been raised by caring parents, although they're vampires. Pure-blooded vampires have the ability to care for what and who they want, which is why some sees them as not caring.
He has a little sister, whom he would die for. They have always been very close during their childhood, although he has always been raised to become the Heir of the clan. As the Heir he is to have complete self-control of both himself and his abilities. Some might think that it's a harsh subsistence, but to Satoru it has been quite easy, as he is a fast learner, if the subject has been of interest to him. And of course he has had a lot of physical training, which caused that he is well-built and in a great shape.
As any other individual he is to attend school for basic learning. Therefore he is set off to start at Rosentale Academy, which is filled with different races. The idea of being there was to gain a greater knowledge about other species, and to learn more about how to control his ability, which he gained when he killed his first prey, which was cause to his thirst for blood. Though he has always been used to drinking a small amount of blood, because the family had always been convinced by the fact, that it would be easier to control the thirst, after he killed his first prey, and the true blood-thirst would begin. And it did help, even though he doesn't have complete control over his blood-thirst, and is still tempted.
Extra Information:
- Mercury: Deadly, if in the heart. Anywhere else will only weaken him for a shorter period of time.
- Sunlight: He's weakened by the sun.
- Silver: He's weakened badly, if injured by a silver object; slows him down, and makes him unable to use his abilities correctly.
- He can also die of “normal” reasons, such as if his head it cut off, or if he's drained of blood etc.
- Satoru: Japanese name meaning daybreak, enlightened, fast learner, knowledgeable, perceptive, persuasive, understanding, wise.
- Verum Sanguinem is Latin, and means “true blood”.
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:06 am
Okay. There are some problems before he could possibly be approved. First of all, his abilities--we don't allow any sort of mind controlling or reading powers in Rosentale for the godmod aspect. You'll need to remove the 'compulsion' ability. Also, I'd like you to give an idea what his affinity for fire lets him do. He can increase the flames but is there more to it than that? The main issue are his flaws. None of those are the right kind of flaw--those are all weaknesses and need to go in his extra information. We're looking for actual personality flaws for this section (thinks like being arrogant, reckless, greedy, etc.) Physical weaknesses or ability limitations don't count for this section--but that's all you've listed. You can quote me to let me know when he's fixed. ^^
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:39 pm
Alright. I've made some changes, but I don't see how he can't do compulsion, when I've stated how it's canceled. Although I accept it, and my result is what I've edited. - Hopefully you'll approve.
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:02 pm
YoruNoAkira Alright. I've made some changes, but I don't see how he can't do compulsion, when I've stated how it's canceled. Although I accept it, and my result is what I've edited. - Hopefully you'll approve. Because, as I said, we simply don't allow mind controlling or reading powers in this guild as there's no need for them and they are too much of a godmod, tending to cause problems in the RP. It's truly rare to find someone who can RP these sorts of abilities responsibly and since we have no way of weeding out those who won't, we simply don't allow such powers. It creates far fewer headaches and work for the crew. ^_^ Even though you said how it's cancelled, I really don't think many of our characters are going to be running around smelling like garlic....so that's not really a very good balance for that ability. We also don't have many other pureblood vampires. So in the end, the power was still too strong, and could have created problems were it used. Thanks for understanding and accepting our guild policies. ^^ Also, protectiveness really isn't a flaw because quite honestly it's actually perfectly natural to be protective of people you love. Everyone is like this when they care for someone (and really, I don't think it's possible to care "too much" for someone. Because...I mean....caring for people is a good thing. ^^ ) Recklessness does work as a flaw, though, but I'm a little confused by how he's reckless and loses control in a controlled way. Are you saying he seems to be in control of himself but actually isn't?
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:39 pm
How is it now? (And I did mean it like you guessed it to be)
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:45 pm
YoruNoAkira How is it now? (And I did mean it like you guessed it to be) Okay, I'm going to approve him. ^^ Thank you for fixing that! Right now we're reorganizing our dorm system, so I'm going to hold off assigning him to a dorm until that's all settled. The first things you should do are to post a character thread in the approved characters forum, and choose a class schedule. Also, familiarize yourself with the school system. Today is week two, day 1--which means fourth period! Thank you. ^^ If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:39 pm
I hope I avoided a mary sue here....also I added in weaknesses.
Quote:  Character Information:
Student RPer Username: Felix Argent
Name: Isabelle Goldenrose
Species: Dragon 3/4 Human 1/4
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Appearance description: Dragon Form: Clicky
Personality: Generally calm and caring but when children are involved she tends to take on a motherly persona. Because of this she is best described to be someone who cares more about others than she does about herself and would likely take a shot for anyone else, at the cost of her own life.
Bio:
ЖЛШ Isabelle was born into a royal family within the Dragon Kingdom known as the Moriryuu. For thousands of years they have lived in peace without ever needing to step out of their borders. However when Isabelle was born, things began to change as she grew up. She began to show characteristics of someone who would put themselves out there to take a risk or chance that something bad may happen. With this in mind they sent her to Rosentale to learn what she can to be the next ruler of the kingdom she resides from.
ШЛ After leaving her home she was stopped by three people before she left to go to Rosentale. As she was leaving her sister wanted one last duel with her, so she accepted and lost to her sister now that she was strong enough to duel. After that her brother came up to her asking her if she would ever come back and she said that she would. The last person she had to see was her father. Speaking with him, he told her one thing: Take your time, enjoy the moment you have for you will never know when it comes again. With that on her mind, she was well on her way to Rosentale Academy to begin a new chapter of her life.
Skills and Abilities:
- She is particularly skilled with the katana
- She is capable of casting a green blast of fire for Offensive and Diversion purposes. It is neither acidic nor shield, it is an explosive blase of fire that is colored green.
- She can turn into a dragon however when in that form the only real ability she gains is breathing out normal fire.
Character Flaws:
Behavioral Flaws
- Notably when she is around people she does not know, she will often refrain from interacting unless someone goes up to her to talk with her.
- Notably she is very unforgiving when you poke her just once. Even if you didn't hurt her she would be unforgiving. That would be in the literal sense because when she was only eight years old everyone kept poking her and it got to the point where she wouldn't have it anymore. Every time someone goes to poke her she thinks of it as an assault attempt.
- Notably she can also be found staring off into space just thinking about something and zone out anyone who does talk to her if they do.
Sexual Orientation: Race does not matter but she will only fall in love with one guy and that's it.
Status: Available. Boys keep it in your pants.
Likes: (at least 3)
- She likes to see cute fluffy animals.
- She likes to be flattered with things that are necessary.
- Any boy who has the courage to stand up against enemies that would possibly end their life.
Dislikes: (at least 3)
- Snobby rude men who think they are nobles just by entitlement, rank, age or fashion sense or wealth.
- Seeing Children cry
- Having to deal with racism.
Extra Information: Laruto's Lament
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:26 pm
Hey Felix! Okay, you'll have to make some changes to your character before I can approve her, okay? ^^ Okay! For her skills and abilities. This green fire--is it just normal fire, but green? And all she cand do is fire blasts of it? I just want to make sure we're not going to suddenly get shields of magic acid fire or something. Also, for her last skill....you can leave it if you want but being able to take a hit from a man without passing out and coughing blood is pretty much not a skill. I can do that too an I'm just a pretty normal girl. ^^ If she can change into a dragon, you need to list that on her powers. If she gains any additional skills in her dragon form, they all need to be listed. Her flaws are a major issue. Only two of them are actual flaws. Being anti social and spacing out are flaws but not being able to understand people when they aren't clear isn't a flaw. That's...completely normal. I mean, everyone has a hard time understanding people who are being unclear and vague. So I'm not counting that as a flaw. None of her physical flaws are flaws. At all. I mean...moving her bangs out of her eyes? That's kind of a completely normal thing that just about everyone who has bangs does. Having a serious expression is also not really a flaw. I mean, because of my eyebrow shape, I tend to always look a little sad but this isn't a flaw. It's just...how my eyebrows are. And constantly tense shoulders are not a physical flaw. Since we have been talking about improving your RPing skills, I'm going to give you a mini-lesson on flaws here. When it comes to personality flaws, we're talking things that are not normal behavior and that are pervasive and impact her on a day to day basis and may give people a negative opinion of her. Things like being anti social or spacing out work. As well as things like greed, envy, anger issues, not trusting people, being blunt or unforgiving. All of those kinds of things. When it comes to physical flaws, for it to be a 'flaw' it really needs to be something that impacts a person's appearance. Tense shoulders, moving her hair out of her eyes and looking serious all the time--no one is even going to notice these things because they're normal and don't make her stand out at all. Having love handles or flabby arms might be a physical flaw. Big ears, a large nose, an extremely scarred face, missing limbs, crooked teeth--those are physical flaws. Physical flaws are undesirable things that make your character less attractive. Not normal behaviors and unobtrusive things like tense shoulders. =3 Just keep that in mind going forward. When you try to avoid a Mary Sue (which you didn't quite manage)--remember to give her flaws that actually stand out or make her less appealing. Okay--the 'known weaknesses' section is really unnecessary for Rosentale because honestly, this isn't a battle based RP. And this isn't part of our character profile template anyway. She's unlikely to ever get into a fight at all in this RP but I want to address this for your benefit so you can improve your character building. When people fall in love, it doesn't make them a less angry person. Trust me. My mom had loads of anger issues and falling in love with my dad didn't make her less angry. People who have a lot of rage, rage no matter whether they love people or not. So from that perspective, getting weaker because she's in love is kind of silly. In fact, many people rage MORE when they're in love because they're protective of their loved ones. Just want to point that out. Women getting dumber and weaker when they're in love is kind of a nasty, chauvinistic stereotype--do you really want to propogate that with your character? Taking 'mild' damage from a person who hits her five times in one post (i don't think this even really applies to this RP to be honest) isn't a weakness at all. Most people are going to take significant damage from five full strength hits in quick succession. I just want to point this out. (Also...why 'five'--that number seems kind of arbitrary...) I just want to point out that your final note seems a little unnecessarily confrontational. I doubt anyone in the RP is going to pay much attention to the name of her kingdom at all, as the focus is Rosentale Academy and everyone is from some strange place or other. You can keep it in if you want but I doubt it's needed.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:42 pm
Hey quoting you to let you know I made edits the instant you told me about the changes and I put something in I completely thought I put in but I guess when I was like distracted earlier it didn't type out the way I had wanted it to....so. Anything else I need to change?
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:55 pm
Felix Argent Hey quoting you to let you know I made edits the instant you told me about the changes and I put something in I completely thought I put in but I guess when I was like distracted earlier it didn't type out the way I had wanted it to....so. Anything else I need to change? When you say 'poke her' is that literal? I'm not sure being unforgiving about a single thing that no one is ever actually very likely to do, counts as a flaws. Flaws are more about things that kind of come back to haunt a character frequently. Like, if she was unforgiving about everything, that would be a flaw. Unforgiving about being poked is more like a quirk. But I didn't know if you meant it in a literal way or not.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 7:56 pm
StrawberryZ0mbie Felix Argent Hey quoting you to let you know I made edits the instant you told me about the changes and I put something in I completely thought I put in but I guess when I was like distracted earlier it didn't type out the way I had wanted it to....so. Anything else I need to change? When you say 'poke her' is that literal? I'm not sure being unforgiving about a single thing that no one is ever actually very likely to do, counts as a flaws. Flaws are more about things that kind of come back to haunt a character frequently. Like, if she was unforgiving about everything, that would be a flaw. Unforgiving about being poked is more like a quirk. But I didn't know if you meant it in a literal way or not. Literal and I'm going back now to edit so it makes more sense. ^.^ Surprisingly I'm not going bonkers about my mistakes as I usually do and I DO have split personality issues. On one hand I'm a child, but on the other I am an adult. Edit: Child memory put in to explain why she doesn't forgive pokers. She views them as attempts of assault because everyone kept poking her when she was only eight years old. Imagine like five hundred people poking you all day long and you would likely get angry too.....maybe your right it might not be a flaw at all unless everyone here actually likes people poking them. 0.0
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:34 pm
Felix Argent StrawberryZ0mbie Felix Argent Hey quoting you to let you know I made edits the instant you told me about the changes and I put something in I completely thought I put in but I guess when I was like distracted earlier it didn't type out the way I had wanted it to....so. Anything else I need to change? When you say 'poke her' is that literal? I'm not sure being unforgiving about a single thing that no one is ever actually very likely to do, counts as a flaws. Flaws are more about things that kind of come back to haunt a character frequently. Like, if she was unforgiving about everything, that would be a flaw. Unforgiving about being poked is more like a quirk. But I didn't know if you meant it in a literal way or not. Literal and I'm going back now to edit so it makes more sense. ^.^ Surprisingly I'm not going bonkers about my mistakes as I usually do and I DO have split personality issues. On one hand I'm a child, but on the other I am an adult. Edit: Child memory put in to explain why she doesn't forgive pokers. She views them as attempts of assault because everyone kept poking her when she was only eight years old. Imagine like five hundred people poking you all day long and you would likely get angry too.....maybe your right it might not be a flaw at all unless everyone here actually likes people poking them. 0.0 Okay. =3 We're going to approve her. Her dorm will be the Topaz Dorm. You'll need to make a character thread in the Approved Characters forum, and choose a schedule for her before you do anything else. Today is also week 2, day 1--fourth period. Just so you know. ^^
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 8:45 pm
StrawberryZ0mbie Felix Argent StrawberryZ0mbie Felix Argent Hey quoting you to let you know I made edits the instant you told me about the changes and I put something in I completely thought I put in but I guess when I was like distracted earlier it didn't type out the way I had wanted it to....so. Anything else I need to change? When you say 'poke her' is that literal? I'm not sure being unforgiving about a single thing that no one is ever actually very likely to do, counts as a flaws. Flaws are more about things that kind of come back to haunt a character frequently. Like, if she was unforgiving about everything, that would be a flaw. Unforgiving about being poked is more like a quirk. But I didn't know if you meant it in a literal way or not. Literal and I'm going back now to edit so it makes more sense. ^.^ Surprisingly I'm not going bonkers about my mistakes as I usually do and I DO have split personality issues. On one hand I'm a child, but on the other I am an adult. Edit: Child memory put in to explain why she doesn't forgive pokers. She views them as attempts of assault because everyone kept poking her when she was only eight years old. Imagine like five hundred people poking you all day long and you would likely get angry too.....maybe your right it might not be a flaw at all unless everyone here actually likes people poking them. 0.0 Okay. =3 We're going to approve her. Her dorm will be the Topaz Dorm. You'll need to make a character thread in the Approved Characters forum, and choose a schedule for her before you do anything else. Today is also week 2, day 1--fourth period. Just so you know. ^^ Okay thank you. *hugs*
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