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 Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:29 am
Aurak continues to stand by his chair. He looks down at it again.
I can't believe that these chairs are too small...
He looks up, and looks around the table again. He noticed that no-one else has arrived yet. He crosses his arms, looks around more. He looks at the mistress at the end of the table.
Aurak grins.
"I guess that I am the only one here for now?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:46 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:00 pm
LadyFireCat Mira jerked awake, her head falling off it's temporary pillow and banging on the floor. She clutched her head as she tried to curl in on herself, her back telling her why it wasn't such a good idea to sleep on the cold, stone floor. After a while she recovered, blinking her grey eyes slowly to readjust to the light. How long was I asleep? I hope it's not too late. I don't really want to get in trouble for sneaking in here without informing someone...With a heavy sigh, she brushed herself off, bending down to retrieve her pack and slinging it over her shoulder. Now, she thought looking up and down the hall, where do I go?Standing still she cocked her head to the side, trying to listen to the sounds echoing through the hall. Mira felt the urge to go farther in, though she didn't know what lay in that direction. Making a decision, she started walking towards the pulse of magic, hoping that it would take her to the dining hall or someplace populated with people.
Of course, I could also continue to prod you now if you wish with questions to expand your post sizes. Grammar is perfect though. Shall we work on description and perhaps working on your character? Character work can be done via pm though.
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 10:27 pm
whitewolve202 (OoC: It seems to me that there is some confusion as to the whereabouts of certain characters in relation to the abbey, and it might be a good idea to perhaps sound off, saying where your character is currently located, so as to prevent confusion in the future. Other than that, I've been following this for a while and perhaps will throw in my character at some point in the near future, so I can get someone's opinion on my writing.)
Also if you enter an rp, the people who are in the area that you wander into should notice you before you notice them if you aren't sure of who is there.
The bottom line is you can't be interrupting a thread to demand that people state where they are to suit your needs at a whim. It was a good point though. You don't have to agree with me, but if you have taken part in any number of rp threads you should understand my point.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:36 am
Aniur Of course, I could also continue to prod you now if you wish with questions to expand your post sizes. Shall we work on description and perhaps working on your character? Character work can be done via pm though. May we? I still think I need some work on those...-_- Thank you for the compliment! I don't think I'm all that good, but it kinda helps that some people do. And I'd be glad to join almost any RP that interests me. ^^
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:01 am
The raven haired male had finally arived at the abbey. His eyes darting back and forth, attempting to uncover any potential threats.
"There are no enemies so why..."
Sudden understanding struck him, like a crossbow bolt between the eyes, it wasn't offensive magic but more of a beacon.
"But where did it originate?" He pondered.
With no real explanation thought of he hurried inside, his pace slightly faster than before.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 4:16 pm
Deugaro The raven haired male had finally arived at the abbey. His eyes darting back and forth, attempting to uncover any potential threats. "There are no enemies so why..."Sudden understanding struck him, like a crossbow bolt between the eyes, it wasn't offensive magic but more of a beacon. "But where did it originate?" He pondered. With no real explanation thought of he hurried inside, his pace slightly faster than before.
= @ @ =
XD
I believe there is an actual rule about me having a life and sometimes not having the brain power to accomplish as much as I would like in a given day.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 9:48 am
Deugaro Deugaro had just gotten through the abbey's gate and began his walk to the large building itself, enjoying his stroll and admiring the landscape and architecture but frowning slightly at the state of disrepair. "How could this place be so run down?" He questioned himself mentally. "Are there not people here?"His pondering was cut short by a pulse of magic, and he instantly dropped into his fighting stance on instinct. He was so caught off guard, he never noticed any message within. Within a few seconds he noticed no alarms or enemies so he continued towards the abbey his eye constantly on the look out. (Times up at Library!) Quote: Deugaro had just gotten through the abbey's gate and began his walk to the large building itself, enjoying his stroll and admiring the landscape and architecture but frowning slightly at the state of disrepair. Quote: Deugaro walked through the abbey's gate and immediately began to walk towards the large building looming ahead of him. He enjoyed his stroll, admiring the landscape and architecture as he passed by. The state of disrepair the motifs seemed to be in made him frown. Quote: He questioned himself mentally Quote: His pondering was cut short by a pulse of magic, and he instantly dropped into his fighting stance on instinct. He was so caught off guard, he never noticed any message within.
=<<=
Otherwise, okay. I'll grade your other one in a bit.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:54 am
Aeros Endeem Aurak continues to stand by his chair. He looks down at it again. I can't believe that these chairs are too small...He looks up, and looks around the table again. He noticed that no-one else has arrived yet. He crosses his arms, looks around more. He looks at the mistress at the end of the table. Aurak grins. "I guess that I am the only one here for now?"
:3 Very simple, yet very good. Issue that keep arising though that you must note before posting! :
#1 Never use the same word twice if you can help it. Again, instead of a second time, could have been "once more".
#2 Never two sentences in a row with the same beginning. (ignore what I just did due to the fact this is a list)
Otherwise its decent. We need to work on puffing out your detail a bit though.
Perhaps the feeling of the stone floor beneath your feet. Is it drafty there? After you say that you are the only person there, do you perhaps wonder where everyone else is? Is there anyone else? What tasks are going to be assigned for tomorrow? Are you tired? Do you ask if there is a bed that might accommodate your size? :3 Or is your character more comfortable in a stable perhaps with some nice straw?
There is also an opportunity to work in some of your character's background when you have nothing else to talk about. :3
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 8:24 am
Deugaro The raven haired male had finally arived at the abbey. His eyes darting back and forth, attempting to uncover any potential threats. "There are no enemies so why..."Sudden understanding struck him, like a crossbow bolt between the eyes, it wasn't offensive magic but more of a beacon. "But where did it originate?" He pondered. With no real explanation thought of he hurried inside, his pace slightly faster than before.
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 8:40 am
ATTENTION
-Update to the front page.
-Deugaro now has an rp ranking.
-Aeros has gone up a rank. D: (He would have gone up two, but he keeps breaking those two rules about using the same word too much and starting his sentences with the same word D: hint hint hint XD )
-LadyFireCat has gone up a rank.
-Update to the rules, #6 was added and states the following:
6. After more than five days away with no word, you will be listed as MIA. If you say something, anything, you will be noted as On Leave and your spot will not be taken. After 10 days with no word your spot will be open to others.
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Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 7:37 pm
((YAY! I went up a rank! I'm happy!))
Aurak looks down, he places his right hand behind his right wing. He pulls out a small pack that he had tucked up under the wing. Opens it with a -Zip- across the top, he pulls out a photo of a woman in her late teens to early twenties. She had long, flowing red hair, she had beautiful red eyes. She also was dressed in a long, red gown that looked like a wedding dress. She also wore red dress shoes. Leaning against a cherryblossom tree. He knew he wont see her for a long time, Until he was done here. The hardwood floors creaked a little as he paced back and forth from his chair to the next one, and back. Stops back at his seat, his eyes start welling up. He misses her with all his heart, Remembers back to when they first met. In a realm of fire, known as 'The realm of love'. He, and herself was together for some umpteen years. "Ph-Pheonix." He pauses for a while. Tears start pouring out of his eyes, he really missed her. So much, it hurt his heart to even think about it. He simply couldn't live without her, That is how much he loves her.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 10:18 pm
"I'm sorry!" Vanyel said quickly hoping to gain the elderly man's forgiveness for his blunder, "I have never seen a place like this before, what is it?" The man responded seeming a little happier at Van's attempt, "It is a Chapel my son. People of many religions come here to worship." He gestured around to the many objects in the room, "These are what they use to worship, paintings and idols of deities. Religious alters of all kinds for all purpose. For things such as praying, burning incense, even for sacrifices." he seemed pleased with himself for the fine introduction, "If you would like, I can leave you to yourself so you can study them." The seeming protector of the holy place bowed and walked into a side room. Van strolled slowly giving each object he came across a careful look. Some were beautiful and some were grotesque. One was of a mysterious figure standing on a pool of water with skeletons and other tortured looking souls rose from the pool strove to touch his hand. Vanyel stared at him somehow appalled at the god, but at the same time fascinated by him. "I wonder who he is." Van muttered and at the same time vowing to find out who he was.
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