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 Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 10:11 am
JD: You wanna know what the Janitor did today?
Dani + Carla: NO
Carla: Bambi, ya idiot.
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:43 pm
The moment that started it all:
J.D.: I'm just waiting for someone.
Janitor: Door's broke. It's the 5th time this week.
J.D: (To Janitor) Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was just making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down
and again:
New Guy: Hi, I’m new here.
Janitor: Yeah, so. Did you want something?
New Guy: No, I’m just… waiting for someone.
Janitor: This door always gets stuck.
New Guy: Maybe there’s a paperclip stuck in there.
Janitor: Did you put a paperclip in there?
New Guy: No… I’m just making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a paperclip in there, you’re going down.
Also from 1st season:
J.D.: I became a doctor to help people, but orientation yesterday didn't really focus on patient care.
(Flashback)
Ted: The hospital doesn't wanna be sued. Being sued is not a good thing.
Elliot: Anyway, I know what you're thinking.
J.D.'s narration: Your butt looks like two Pringles hugging.
J.D.: No you don't.
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:47 pm
Some Dr. Cox Moments:
Dr. Cox: Did you actually just page me to find out how much tylenol to give to Mrs. Lensner?
J.D.: I was worried it could exasterbate the patient's...
Dr. Cox: Its regular strength tylenol. Here's what you do: Get her to open her mouth, take a handfull and throw it at her. Whatever sticks - that's the correct dosage.
Dr. Cox: Yes, m'lady?
J.D.: So? You feeling all glahh!?
Dr. Cox: That depends, does "glahh!" mean confused and incredibly annoyed?
J.D.: Come on man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use, hit me with it.
Dr. Cox: I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Let me see...eh...em.. low-carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products, high-def T.V., the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, The O.C., the U.N., recycling, getting punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammies, the real Grammies, Jeff that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much, the Yankee's payroll, the Red States, the Blue States, every hybrid car, every talk show host, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, and everything, everything, everything, everything everything, everything, everything, everything that exists, past, present and future in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions....Oh....and Hugh Jackman.
J.D.: Hugh Jackman's Wolverine! How dare he!
and another funny one:
Molly: You're freakin' me out, Jimmy!
J.D.: It's Johnny.
J.D.'s Narration: Why would you say "Johnny"? You hate "Johnny"!
Molly: Now I'm gonna commit it to my memory forever. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...
J.D.'s Narration: Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
Molly: So, Johnny...
J.D.'s Narration: Dammit!
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2007 5:07 pm
A J.D. moment
J.D.: "Are you saying that any woman wearing a wedding ring is invisible to me?"
Turk: "Ladies!" *the women take off their rings*
J.D.: "Gift shop girl...you're alive."
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 8:05 am
Arashi the Demon A J.D. moment J.D.: "Are you saying that any woman wearing a wedding ring is invisible to me?" Turk: "Ladies!" *the women take off their rings* J.D.: "Gift shop girl...you're alive." Gift Shop Girl: Yep. J.D.: I thought you died. Gift Shop Girl: Nope, I just got married.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 6:27 am
blinka_kitty Arashi the Demon A J.D. moment J.D.: "Are you saying that any woman wearing a wedding ring is invisible to me?" Turk: "Ladies!" *the women take off their rings* J.D.: "Gift shop girl...you're alive." Gift Shop Girl: Yep. J.D.: I thought you died. Gift Shop Girl: Nope, I just got married. J.D.: I sent your family flowers Gift Shop Girl: You bought them from me.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2007 6:41 pm
Dr. Cox: Look Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally couldn't care less who's carrying your quivering body down by the fire, while your lips whisper 'no no' but your eyes scream 'yes yes, oh big daddy yes!' but when you're dating Jordan's sissypoo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won't have that, so here's the deal: don't wanna have dinner with you, don't wanna go bowling with you, and I never ever again wanna walk into my kitchen and hear you say 'well, it's waffle time, it's waffle time, won't you have- (J.D. joins in) some waffles of mine?' Bottom line, we'll be bestest friends foreverest, if you just keep your face, out from my face.
(He goes into a patient's room and J.D. follows him)
Dr. Cox: *Groans*
J.D.: She's my patient!
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 1:32 pm
LOL.NESSY What has two thumbs and doesn't care?
Bob Kelso. What had two thumbs and still doesn't give a crap Bob Kelso. I thought we'd met.
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 1:44 pm
Julie: Did you know J.D.s parents thought he was going to be a girl. They didn't have a name picked out for him so until he was three years old they called him Johanna.
DR Cox: I don't know who you are but thank you for this.
Dr Cox: Ask Betty why he's such a girly girl.
Elliot: NOt now!
Dr Cox: Do it now Do it now call her Betty.
Elliot:you're insane
Dr Cox: Betty Betty... Betty Betty Betty Betty
Elliot: Betty?
J.D: yeah?
Elliot: Oh Mi god it worked.
Dr Cox: Priscilla I honestly on my mothers grave thought your real name was Carol.
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 2:46 pm
anonomous angel Dr Cox: Priscilla I honestly on my mothers grave thought your real name was Carol.
That's one of my favorite Cox quotes.
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2007 8:57 pm
JD; "Maybe it's because I told her that you smoke the ganja."
Turk; "That's not even true!"
*storms out*
JD; "Where ya goin'? Munchies?"
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 7:07 pm
Turk: Wow, that was a thick bush
JD: Really turk, was it a thick bush? Cuz there are berries in my a**! Now go!
JD: Look, umm... Janitor, im gonna be straight with ya.. i saw ur p***s, and i noticed a possible melanoma
Janitor: When did you see my p***s?
JD: Last night when you were in the shower
Janitor: What???
JD: Look man, if you wouldve looked out the window you wouldve seen my p***s
Janitor: What, why?
JD: cuz i had it out while i was lookin at yours...
Todd: You know what else stands up for itself?
JD: ya know Todd i dont but if i had to guess, id say its ur p***s
Todd: it is, high five!!
Snoop Dogg Intern: Where my hoes at?
JD: i havent seen them...
JD: AHH, Doug, why are you hitting me!?!?
Doug: I thought you were a dead guy coming back to life
JD:...... Then why are you hitting me???
Jordan: Its blue... im not pregnant.. You kno whats weird, im relieved, i just feel sad cuz i think about how pretty our kid would be, ya kno?
Cox: (running down the street) IT CAME OUT BLUE!!! SHES NOT PREGNANT!!!!! IT CAME OUT BLUE, SHES NOT PREGNANT!!!!!
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 11:59 am
Mostastless JD: AHH, Doug, why are you hitting me!?!?
Doug: I thought you were a dead guy coming back to life
JD:...... Then why are you hitting me??? Doug: dead people should be dead Dr. Perry Cox: So how come you're not all dressed up? Ben Sullivan: I am dressed up, you see any holes in these pants? I'm glad you made it... listen, there's one more thing you have to do for me. Dr. Perry Cox: You can't keep me from getting drunk! Ben Sullivan: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day. Dr. Perry Cox: God, you're... you're so annoying. Ben Sullivan: Yeah. Dr. Perry Cox: All right. Ben Sullivan: Good. Dr. Perry Cox: Where's your camera, aren't you gonna take some pictures? J.D.: [enters] Pictures of what? Dr. Perry Cox: You know, crying babies covered in chocolate, people singing Happy Birthday to my son who have never even met him before, the whole routine! J.D.: Where do you think we are? [Cox looks round. Ben has disappeared. The camera pans out and reveals they are in a graveyard, at Ben's funeral] ((I love ben))
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 12:59 pm
"Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'see ya,' the third word will be, 'oh my god. My crotch. You've punched me in the crotch!'"
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 6:13 pm
anonomous angel Mostastless JD: AHH, Doug, why are you hitting me!?!?
Doug: I thought you were a dead guy coming back to life
JD:...... Then why are you hitting me??? Doug: dead people should be dead Dr. Perry Cox: So how come you're not all dressed up? Ben Sullivan: I am dressed up, you see any holes in these pants? I'm glad you made it... listen, there's one more thing you have to do for me. Dr. Perry Cox: You can't keep me from getting drunk! Ben Sullivan: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day. Dr. Perry Cox: God, you're... you're so annoying. Ben Sullivan: Yeah. Dr. Perry Cox: All right. Ben Sullivan: Good. Dr. Perry Cox: Where's your camera, aren't you gonna take some pictures? J.D.: [enters] Pictures of what? Dr. Perry Cox: You know, crying babies covered in chocolate, people singing Happy Birthday to my son who have never even met him before, the whole routine! J.D.: Where do you think we are? [Cox looks round. Ben has disappeared. The camera pans out and reveals they are in a graveyard, at Ben's funeral] ((I love ben)) thats one of my favorite moments on scrubs... idk why, i liked ben confused
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