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 Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 1:05 am
Steel Reserve 211 As it is written in the bill of rights: The right of all men to keep bears as arms, shall not be infringed.I know, right? All these supporters of bear control really grate on my nerves! blaugh
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 8:43 am
Col. Potter: By the way, what war is this?
Hawkeye: The latest war to end all wars.
Frank Burns: What's he doing in here?
Hawkeye: Sharing our tent.
Frank Burns: Not on your nelly. Won't catch me sleeping with an enlisted men.
Hawkeye: Frank... just wrap yourself in a flag and go to sleep.
Trapper: And don't get in bed with that gun... that's an order.
Frank Burns: A Captain can't give a Major an order.
Hawkeye: Then it's a threat.
Frank Burns: Oh that's different... it was a great war until you guys showed up.
Margaret: Major, Major Houlihan.
Major: Major Houlihan. Major Burns.
Frank Burns: Major. Major.
Hawkeye: Major Pierce. Well, I think we've made a "major" breakthrough.
Father Mulcahy: [singing] A chaplain in the Army has a collar on his neck. If you don't listen to him, you'll all wind up in Heck.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
BJ & Hawkeye: Oh, the surgeons in the Army, they say we're mighty bright. We work on soldiers through the day and nurses through the night.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Col. Potter: Friendships in the army, they say are mighty rare. So I spend all my free time carousing with my mare.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Nurses: The surgeons in the army, their brains they are profound. But we'll take chopper pilots, they'll get you off the ground.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Radar: The corporals in the army, ya say we're really green. But if it weren't for us guys you'd be in the latrine.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Klinger: Oh, some guys like the Army. I think that it's a mess. If it's so damn terrific. How come I wear a dress?
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Margaret: The nurses in the army, they haven't tied the knot. But this one's gonna try it with Donald Penobscott.
Everybody: Oh, I don't want no more of Army life. Gee Mom, I wanna go. But they won't let me go. Gee Mom, I wanna go home.
Maj. Frank Burns: Gee whiz, that's terrific. I haven't seen a good movie in ages.
Hawkeye: Frank, don't be childish. It's only a movie.
[Frank walks away]
Hawkeye: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! A movie! Hee, hee, hee! I'm so excited, I could plotz!
Frank: Excuse me, Captain, but I'm talking to the major.
Trapper: You talk to the captain, and I'll talk to the major, Major.
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:29 pm
Movie night was a barrel of laughs, alright. rofl
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Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 4:00 pm
Steel Reserve 211 Frank: Normal is everybody doing the same thing. Hawkeye: What about individuality? Frank: Individuality's fine, as long as we all do it together. Isn't that from the episode where a wounded soldier tells Hawkeye that he's a homosexual?
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:23 am
Mysterytrip Steel Reserve 211 Frank: Normal is everybody doing the same thing. Hawkeye: What about individuality? Frank: Individuality's fine, as long as we all do it together. Isn't that from the episode where a wounded soldier tells Hawkeye that he's a homosexual? Yup.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:18 pm
Frank: You hang up first
Margaret: Oh Frank, that is so high school
Frank: Let's hang up together on the count of three. I'll start. One!
Margaret: Two!
Hawkeye and Trapper: Three!
Margaret: Get 'em, Frank!
Trapper: I miss my wife.
Hawkeye: Me too. I don't even know your wife and I miss her.
Trapper: You don't miss my wife. You miss my mother.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 3:22 pm
*Home movie shows a row of people*
Hawkeye: I brought you all here, because I'm about to name the murderer.
*Frank's wife is shown with bouquet*
Hawkeye: Her hands are full of water.
*Frank and his wife exchange their vows*
Hawkeye: Don't do it, Frank. Say no, Frank.
*Flower girl is shown*
Trapper: That little girl looks like you Radar!
Klinger: Nah, the little girl's taller!
Radar: Who asked you?!?
*Frank goes to cut the cake*
Trapper: He still can't hold a knife properly.
Hawkeye: Now watch the cake die of malpractice!
*Louise take the knife from Frank and cuts the cake. Fly tape gets stuck to Frank's face.*
Radar: What's that on his face?
*Frank goes to drive, Mrs. Burns refuses*
Henry: Do you think she'll take her glasses off?
Hawkeye: Just shut up and get in the car, Frank! Never mind that Frank, just get in the car, Frank!
Hawkeye/Trapper: VROOM, VROOM!!
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 1:19 pm
Klinger: beh-dee beh-dee beh-dee that's all folks! rofl
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Posted: Wed May 30, 2007 7:14 pm
*Telling Lorraine he's going home and that he's lost weight.*
Henry: I don't want your mother wearing my suits.
*a few seconds silence*
Henry: But that's dumb.
*Henry and Radar are discussing when to call Lorraine and tell her he's coming home.*
Henry: No, no! Every Wednesday, she gets together with Bella, Bea, Marie, and Paula. They go out Route 26 to the old red barn for lunch. They have two daiquiris and a watercress sandwich. Then Paula talks about her hysterectomy.
Radar: Every Wednesday, sir?
Henry: It's a club.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 1:53 am
Hysterectomy club. I'm sure that's one of the stranger things I've heard of people doing. confused lol
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:11 pm
Sydney: "Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
Hawkeye: "Trap, Did you just see that?"
Trapper: "Yeah, It was a big red bird with fuzzy pink feet."
Henry: "Well, sir, I think that if he'd had a better tail wind he might have made it!"
" Unum pilole acidus salicylicus tres in diem post sabum."-Charles's latin order for one aspirin three times daily!!- As a nursing student I loved it!!
Padre- "You mean.....HOT BIBLES!!"
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:52 am
After the latrine blows up:
Frank: Gee, sir, was the officers' latrine really destroyed?
Henry or Hawkeye: (sarcastically) Was the officer's latrine really destroyed?
Hawkeye: Gone with the wind, Frank.
Radar: I did not hang up on you. I held the phone out the window and it blew up!
HQ officer: Unfortunately, latest intelligence shows that you ARE being shelled. But not to worry. You're being hit by your own artillery.
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:03 pm
P.A: Attention, the following personnel have volunteered to go on a ten-mile fitness hike. (silent)
P.A: Attention all personnel, when filling out GI Insurance forms, please state your age and sex at the time of your last birthday.
P.A: Due to the number of people bored last Sunday, next Sunday will be cancelled.
P.A: Attention all personnel! Tonight's movies will be "Greed" and "The Major was a Miner," starring Major Frank 'There Goes My Transfer' Burns.
P.A: Attention please. Immediately following Mass this Sunday, Yom Kippur services will be held for all Jewish personnel of the Hebrew faith.
P.A biggrin ue to the flu, kindly refrain from kissing anyone unless absolutely necessary.
P.A: Attention all personnel. Due to a lack of casualties, tonight's midnight movie will be shown at 9:00 AM. And midnight has been cancelled.
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:25 pm
Potter:
I couldn't hit a bullet with the broad side of a barn.
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:53 pm
Padre? surprised
Well, that makes two M*A*S*H characters in the guild, with a possibility of a third if baronesswinchester saves up for her soladat officer gear.
Oh, yes. Quotes.
Winchester (hung over): ooooohhhhhhhhh! stressed
Potter, to Hawk and BJ: Oh, nice of ya to bring along a cadavar.
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Reply
