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eclara

PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:27 pm


surprised someone posted!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:23 pm


xemoxheartx
We are allowed to post our own jokes right?
Yes, post all the jokes you want!

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eclara

PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 2:52 pm


ninja
PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 11:46 am


George W. Bush was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing, and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George W. said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George W. said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!" George W. was a little perplexed by this and said, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."







The kid replied, "I will be, after my dad finds out I saved your a** from drowning!"

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eclara

PostPosted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:39 pm


rofl

That was a good one Wolfey!
PostPosted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:34 pm


That be a good joke Wolfey ^,^ Got another Bush joke!

There is four people flying over the Pacific in an aeroplane, Ronaldo the famous soccer player, George Bush, the Pope and a young school kid. Everything is fine and honky-dory until the plane starts to malfunction and there are only three parachutes available.

"I should get a parachute because without me, soccer would die and become non-existant - I make soccer what it is!" states Ronaldo, everybody agreeing and out he goes with a bag.

"I am the world's greatest leader and I have done so much good for my nation. I am one of the smartest and most politically powerful minds in the world, working towards achieving the best interests for my people and if I don't live, America will lose one of their greatest leaders" declares Bush, grabbing a bag and jumping out of the plane.

"Young boy, I have lived my life and have fulfilled my aims. You should live and have a good life," the Pope says gravely to the young boy who simply quirks up "But we both can live."

"How's that young boy?" the Pope asks.

"Bush took my school bag, there's still two parachutes left, let's go ^,^"

madamfluff


eclara

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:36 pm


rofl
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 12:17 pm


Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.



"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I'll have a beer -- a big one." said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I'll have another beer, a tall one," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.


"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I'll go for another tall one," said the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered beer all evening?"






The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!"

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madamfluff

PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 1:11 pm


rofl 4laugh

That's uber cute heart
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:27 pm


Mexican Delicacy

A big Texas cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, did it look good, the smell was wonderful...

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah, senor, you have excellent taste!.. Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!"

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor... There is only one serving per day because there is only one bullfight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening, he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor, sometimes the bull wins!"

Wolfey Fireborn

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Wolfey Fireborn

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:29 pm


A professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,

"Do you know what your a** hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
















She replied, "He's probably down at the bar with his friends"
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:43 pm


eek eek lol rofl

I agree with the a*****e joke I'm 'fraid sad

madamfluff


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:09 pm


madamfluff
eek eek lol rofl

I agree with the a*****e joke I'm 'fraid sad
That one cracked me up!
PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 4:14 pm


Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the
papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms.

"How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo.

"That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!!

"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?"

"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"

Quasimodo came out and said...


"I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"

Wolfey Fireborn

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madamfluff

PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 1:23 am


stressed stressed sweatdrop
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