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 Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:23 am
Logan didn't know what he believed in. He didn't believe in himself, and as much as he liked Tolliver, he didn't really believe in him either - not that he didn't believe in the way he made him feel, or didn't believe in the need or the passion in Tolliver's eyes, but he didn't really believe that this would last. No matter how desperately he wanted it to, no matter how much he needed it to.
'It's not you, it's me.' It was such a cliche, but Hitch knew from the start that it was how their - whatever this was would eventually go down. He'd do something to ruin this, to turn the warmth in Tolliver's eyes to ice.
He didn't want it to happen, and Hitch wouldn't allow it to, but - Tolliver would figure it out eventually. Karma would come back around, and he'd pay for the risk he'd taken in betraying his mother's wishes.
So he'd go to hell on earth. Until then, he'd leech every moment he could out of this, because it was ******** worth it. Tolliver was so very much ******** worth any amount of pain down the road.
He didn't want a girl. He wanted Tolliver's strong lines and soft hands, he wanted his stammering flustered charm, he wanted that bright hair with freckles stained with a blush. He wanted Tolliver's subtle stubborn strength of will to leave his cane at home and never to flounder for help, whether he needed it or not.
Hitch had known for a long time he wanted men, whether he could admit it or not - but again, want versus need, and he'd never known he'd need some single person so much as he did now.
"Everythin', " he breathed out hotly, exhaling slowly at the sensation of Tolliver's heart fluttering beneath his fingertips. Groaning softly as his fingers slid along the length of his quivering stomach. He leaned forward as his hand slid lower and he pressed closer still, his breath hot against Tolliver's cheek as his lips brushed up against the corner of his eye, taking the pooled tears with it.
Yes, please say mine. Let him belong to someone, let him matter, let him stay and last and take root somewhere in the ******** world.
"I'll give you everythin'..."
And he did.
It was a long while before they were laying side by side again, with Hitch curled behind Tolliver as the 'big spoon' to his small, and he was beyond spent - his body ached in all the best ******** possible ways, and he could only imagine how his lover beside him must have felt. "You okay, babe?" he murmured, his lips brushing against Tolliver's bare shoulder. "Tell me I didn't hurt you?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:40 am
He was not a greedy or selfish person, but oh how he wanted to be when it came to Logan Hitchcock. He wanted the touch of those work roughened fingers against his skin, wanted the brush of his warm lips across his own, wanted to feel his strong body pressed up against him like he never wanted to leave. He wanted to hear that low, growling voice in his ear, whispering things that no one else had ever said to him before, and most of all, Tolliver wanted all of it to himself.
A shiver raced through him, chasing its way up and down his spine. Tolliver blinked rapidly to try and dispel some of the wetness that had gathered at the corners of his eyes, but Hitch's lips were already there, warm and reassuring. A stuttered breath escaped him, sharp with need and Tolliver's fingers dug into Hitch's hair at the promise, a soft whimper, and then he was pressing closer and closer still and there was nothing in the world that would have made him move away.
Eventually they had moved from the counter to the mattress (after taking their sweet time and with a few pit stops in between); and by the time Tolliver could catch his breath again, hours had passed and it was well into the night now, inky black sky visible through the windows. He felt utterly and completely exhausted, drained of all energy and aching, but the feel of Hitch behind him was a soothing and much needed presence, and Tolliver had never been so happy in his entire life.
He felt drugged, lethargic, positively drenched in his emotions, lashes half lidded, damp hair swept back away from his forehead. Tolliver pressed himself securely back against Hitch's chest, making sure that his lover's arm was wrapped firmly around him from behind, his own arm resting atop it to hold it in place. The soft kiss against his shoulder made him shiver, and Tolliver brought one of Hitch's hands to his own lips, skimming sleepy kisses over his fingertips.
"No," he said quietly, and his voice was still raw and hoarse, and would be for a long time. "You didn't hurt me at all. I'm all right."
He pressed Hitch's hand against his cheek and nuzzled into it, kissing his palm and feeling, for the first time in such a long time, that he was worth something, that he had something meaningful, that he was so incredibly wanted and adored. Hitch had a way of making him feel things that Tolliver hadn't even thought he was capable of.
He wanted to turn around and look at him, but wasn't quite sure he had the strength to. Tolliver's eyes fluttered as he moved Hitch's hand away from his mouth and instead pressed it against his chest, loving the warm weight on his skin.
"...you were incredible," he said softly, biting his lip, face flushed at the admission, but he needed Hitch to know at least some small fraction of his impact, even if it was difficult to say, even if he couldn't say all that he wanted to. "You are incredible, Logan."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:49 am
Hitch hummed softly in his deep, off-key way as Tolliver's lips brushed across his fingers. He shifted, just slightly, to nuzzle into the crook of his lover's neck. In the morning, he'd need another shower - maybe this time he would just drag Tolliver in with him, see how well they could use the small space. His lips curled against Tolliver's skin at the thought, but it didn't linger - he was honestly too utterly content in this moment to worry about what tomorrow might bring.
"Good, " he mumbled. Even if it'd all been good, some of the s**t he'd pulled... Tolliver hadn't seemed to mind any of it, but Hitch didn't know if he could've forgiven himself if he'd done any lasting damage.
He shut his eyes and enjoyed the small ministrations, the tiny little shows of affection from his Tolliver that reassured him time and time, relieving again any little nagging doubts or fears that longed to creep up on him like menacing shadows. "Mm, Tolli, " he hummed, voice muffled against Tolliver's neck, and he pressed a long, lazy, messy kiss there, loving the heat of his lover's chest and the constant beating of his heart. Especially knowing it was beating a little faster because of someone like him.
Logan blushed a deep, dark crimson at the praise, and although Tolliver would never see it, maybe he'd feel some of the heat radiating off the other man's cheeks. His first instinct kicked in, "No I'm not, " and then quickly, to amend his words, he added, "If I am, it's cause you make me ********' crazy Tolli." If the two thoughts sounded disjointed at all, it's because they were: the truth and the sugar coating to mask it. "Like that thing you did with your tongue, " and he said it in a sleepy, playful way, just imagining the colors Tolliver might turn.
Then, more sincere response: "You were ********' just... that was the best... anything. You were so ********' amazin' babe."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 2:45 pm
Hitch's hot kiss to his neck made Tolliver squirm sleepily, one arm lifting so that he could reach behind him and tangle his fingers in Hitch's damp hair. He tilted his head a little to allow for easier access, a little whine of pleasure escaping him, and Hitch would be able to feel his heartbeat quickening beneath his hand. It had been quite the night, and certainly some of the things that Hitch had done were...well, adventurous - a few things might need to be picked up afterwards, including the pasta, which had finally ended up on the floor, as well as some other things on the walls.
But he loved this. He loved every second of it, felt warm and incredibly adored simply from the constant and tender ministrations of Hitch. Tolliver's hand dropped back down to hold onto Hitch's, but he pressed himself back against his warm chest, clearly wanting him to continue what he was doing.
The denial - which he was starting to learn was a rapid facet of Hitch's personality - was met with a soft sound of disappointment from Tolliver. "You are," he insisted, and then gave a little gasp and hid his face in his hands at the compliment, face heating instantly, because while he'd let Hitch take the lead most of the night, he'd tried to return the favor once or twice, in his own fumbling fashion.
His voice was muffled when he spoke next, low and embarrassed.
"I'm not...I want to....to make you happy too, but I don't know...how to do things..."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:05 pm
Hitch's own pulse jumped at the delightful little show of wriggling coupled with that tantalizing little sound Tolliver made. He could feel his lover's pulse not only against his hand, but faintly beneath his lips as he took Tolliver's cue and continued to kiss the tender skin in that languid, lewd way. He flicked his tongue out briefly over the damp skin, appreciating the slightly salted flavor that met him.
Things could be picked up, pasta could be thrown out, floors could be swept, whatever. He'd do it all again in a second, and the way things were going, they might just have that chance.
He loved that warmth against his chest, soft but insistent and above all else, needy. His fingers curled and uncurled at Tolliver's chest, and the pads might be rough but the touches themselves were notable soft and tender. His fingers slipped apart when Tolliver's hand returned, inviting his lover's own to entwine with them.
He let the praise slide with some more heat pouring from his cheeks and instead focused on Tolliver, laughing softly and kissing his neck again. "Hey, hey, don't hide from me Tolli, c'mon, we talked about this babe, " he teased, curling closer still so his knees were just behind Tolliver's own, touching just lightly, leaving the rest of them flush together.
At Tolliver's soft, but heavy words, Hitch couldn't help another gentle smile against his lover's neck. "Listen. Full disclosure here, babe - the only thing I've ever done with another guy is the first thing I did on the couch, " and even if he was feigning cocky as he said it, Tolliver could probably still feel him blush. "I tried with girls an' s**t an' - it wasn't - where I'm goin' with this is you're the only guy I've ever - so I'm kinda new too, okay? - an' you make me happier than anything, hear me? No one's ever ********' done that for me before, so... ********, y'know where I'm goin' with this, right babe?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 3:20 pm
He wondered if it was ever going to be enough. If there would ever be a point where he'd feel completely and utterly satisfied with how many kisses he'd gotten, with how long he'd gotten to cuddle with Hitch, with how many times they managed to find each other again. Tolliver was too exhausted to do more than just simple, slow gestures of adoration, but he still wanted more, wanted everything that Hitch could give him. Not just physical, either. He wanted the low, rough voice telling him things about himself, about his life, about how felt. He wanted the gentle smiles and the passionate music playing, wanted the simple knowledge of knowing Hitch was next to him, that he existed at all and was near him.
The kisses to his neck were warm reminders of all of that, and Tolliver desperately wanted to remember how they felt, how everything had felt.
He felt Hitch move closer still, and obediently - but still embarrassed - Tolliver lowered his hands, and one of them went to rest over Hitch's again, tangling their fingers together against his chest. The other followed, Tolliver feeling warm and safe wrapped together like this, with Hitch's arms around him and his lips against his neck, voice soft in his ear.
He'd never done anything with another guy. Hitch knew that, and it hadn't bothered him. The fact that Hitch only had a small amount more experience than he did was slightly reassuring, and he could feel the heat of a blush against his skin, matching his own. And yet -
Tolliver turned his face down, into the pillow, breaking the promise he'd just made not to hide from Hitch.
"Don't..." he mumbled, and his voice was muffled, body beginning to tremble a little, and he was terrified of what he was about to say, scared to death of the implications of it, but trying to imagine things differently was painful, achingly so, and Tolliver's fingers curled around Hitch's, breath shuddering out of him.
"...I don't...want you to do stuff like that with other - with other people," he whispered, and his face burned as he said it, wondering if it would be the last time he would get to feel Hitch's arms around him, wondering if the kisses would stop because it was a selfish, greedy, improbable request. Surely there were other people who were more suited for someone like Logan Hitchcock than himself. People without ******** up legs - his own was throbbing every now and then still, in clear view for the world - or rather, Hitch - to see, twisted and ugly, and in spite of all of Hitch's promises that it didn't bother him, Tolliver still tried to hide it whenever he could. People without the things that he had, like stutters and confusion and inexperience. People who were cuter, smaller, prettier.
The anxiety was still there, festering disgustingly in his stomach, hardly able to be quenched in one night alone, but at least it was slowly beginning to ease with each gentle and patient reminder from Hitch.
"Sorry," Tolliver said hoarsely, chest tightening, and he blinked rapidly at the dampness to the corners of his eyes, hating how emotional he was, hating that he was probably scaring Hitch off. "I'm sorry."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:42 pm
Hitch fiddled and toyed with Tolliver's fingers between his own, rolling them and sliding his thumb smoothly along their sides. Even if it was just a series of lazy little gestures like this, he still just couldn't seem to get enough of touching him.
For a second, when he heard the 'don't', Hitch got surprisingly stiff and rigid, and his heart beat faster against Tolliver's back. 'Don't' what? Don't tell anyone? Don't talk about women? Don't touch him like that? Don't call him? There was a world of possibility lurking behind a 'don't', and most of the possibilities were the ones he didn't want to imagine, especially since Tolliver had just turned away from him.
He didn't even realize he was holding his breath until his lover kept talking, and the piece fell in with the rest of the puzzle. A few agonizing seconds ticked by as the implication of Tolliver's words sank in - and all the words he hadn't said that he could have. He wanted them to be exclusive. A surge of euphoria swept through him and he tried so ******** hard not to let himself get his hopes up, but they were already sky high and he resented himself that much harder for it.
Then Tolliver was apologizing, and Hitch didn't keep him waiting any longer. "You're so ********' silly, " he purred, nuzzling into his hair for a second before trying to coax him back, trying to make Tolliver look at him. Maybe if he looked Hitch in the eye, he'd believe him a little more. "You're sayin' that like I wanna be with anyone else. I - "
The stain of red on his cheeks was fainter now, but still very much present, as he grinned at Tolliver. "Even if you didn't want me, you got me." He didn't know why Tolliver wanted him. But he also didn't want to question it too hard and make his lover see how wrong he was. "An' if I see you with anyone else, I'll ********' kill 'em. So you better now. You'll have blood on your hands. I'm ********' serious."
Even as he said it though, he just couldn't seem to shake that stupidly lopsided smile. "I told you babe... you can have everything. I always ********' keep my word."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:15 pm
He felt Hitch tense behind him and somehow knew it was coming - the inevitable rejection, the disgust at being asked such a thing, the scoff that Hitch would make before he rolled away and left. How could Tolliver have asked him to do what he was asking? It was selfish; he wasn't normally such a terribly rude person, and yet here he was, trying to take something that wasn't his, but that Tolliver wanted so desperately it made him ache inside. The need for Logan Hitchcock had not abated in any sense of the word; it was still there, coursing through him, burning him from the inside out.
He heard Hitch's rumbled voice, felt the face in his hair, and then hands were pressing against him, trying to roll him back over. Tolliver gave a startled, sharp intake of breath, half a sob (embarrassing, said a voice inside of his head so embarrassing), and with a little bit of effort, he managed to roll himself over, one hand still covering his face, because even with Tolliver trying not to hide from him, habits were hard to break.
Something was growing inside of him; a warm, all-encompassing feeling that started in his chest and spread outwards, threatening to burst free, filling every never and sense with emotions. Tolliver kept his fingers over his eyes, trying to pretend that he wasn't pathetically teary, and burrowed his face against Hitch's bare chest, breath stuttering out of him.
"Just you," he mumbled, and with effort, he managed to slide his bad leg over Hitch's, tentative and shy, but the fact that he was willing to move it closer to him at all was monumental, thrills of anxiety and fear in his throat. "I only want you, Logan, I only need you, but are you - are you sure you want me, I mean, I can't - I'm not - "
He was a broken record by now, surely, and it was stupid and frustrating that he couldn't wrap his mind around a simple word; but he couldn't stop the fears from pouring out of him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You've - you've proven you want me, but I still - I'm sorry, my head just won't cooperate, but my - my heart - "
Tolliver stopped abruptly, suddenly terrified that he'd finally said too much.
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:43 pm
"Shh, shh, it's okay babe, " Hitch murmured idly as he gathered Tolliver to him, stroking his back and shoulders and finally cupping his cheek with one hand, the other trying to coax his lover's hand away so he could see all of him. It was another funny little contradiction; he felt such a dizzying wave of protectiveness and affection each time Tolliver started to cry. On one hand, it endeared him like nothing he'd ever known before. On the other, he was desperate to stop it, to make him smile the way Hitch loved.
He was a ******** mess, basically.
Tolliver didn't have to know much much Hitch already loved and appreciated the weight of that leg on him. It was the weight of his lover's trust, in a way, and he knew and treasured it. "Yes, you are, " he coaxed gently, leaning forward to kiss his forehead and the corner of each eye.
His chest tightened at the mention of Tolliver's heart, although it wasn't in a bad way, just - there was such a rush of emotions to go with such simple words. Fear, affection, adoration, tension, and again, he was just a huge ******** mess who didn't even know where to begin sorting this ball of shirt out.
Abruptly, maybe a little too abruptly, he dragged Tolliver closer so his face would be buried in the crook of Hitch's neck. Because maybe Tolliver didn't know it yet, but Hitch was a ******** hypocrite; he wouldn't let his lover hide, but Logan would always try.
"I was... " He exhaled and clutched him a little tighter. Even if he wasn't facing Tolliver straight on, he just didn't talk about himself. It just didn't happen. It was practically painful now to carve out the words he needed. "Miserable. I was - " He still was. "Things were bad, Tolli. Just, " he flung an arm over him in sort of a half hug, although it was no less tight for it. "So just ********' tell your head, your heart, whatever - tell 'em you're the best thing that's happened since I go to this s**t city. - and ********' before that. Then ********' see how they cooperate, babe."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:35 pm
The reassuring hands against his back made his stomach flutter, and he hated, once more, that he was so emotional. He was a crying mess of pathetic feelings and sensations that was probably terribly unattractive and unappealing, because who wanted to deal with someone who consistently fell apart at everything?
Lips pressed against his forehead, then his eyes, and Tolliver's breath caught in his throat, and suddenly he found himself pulled forward, face against Hitch's neck. A startled sound escaped him, embarrassing, but he automatically buried his nose against him, inhaling deeply and shuddering, hands cradled against Hitch's arm chest. An ache had started to fill his chest, a longing to rid Hitch of the misery that was clearly eating away at him, and Tolliver felt his face - and his heart - burn with the thought of it. Everything Hitch was saying was everything that Tolliver wanted to hear, and he dragged in a shaking breath, another half strangled sob escaping him.
His hands snaked up Hitch's chest, found the sides of his face and Tolliver pulled back a little further, trying to see his face. He kissed whatever part of him he could reach, lips gentle against his jaw, his neck, his shoulder, and part of his cheek, and Tolliver shifted a little higher, leg against Hitch's hip.
"You mean the world to me," he murmured, painstakingly honest, heart throbbing at the terrifying admission. "I want - I want to keep feeling the way I do when I'm with you, and I know it's - it's probably n-not nice to have to keep reassuring me that you want me, but I - but I want you. And I need you."
Tolliver closed his eyes, biting his lip.
"You're...you're my Logan now, right?" he whispered tentatively, blushing madly. "And I'm...I'm your Tolli?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:57 pm
Hitch drew a long, slow breath, and he almost wanted to ask what Tolliver saw in his face that made it so ******** appealing. He loved the attention no less, shutting his eyes as the air escaped him in a shaky gust, humming as he reached down and very, very gingerly slid his fingertips along the outer thigh of Tolliver's bad leg. He hadn't really gone out of his way to ignore it or give it any extra attention for fear of making him nervous or self-conscious. But it was another part of him to touch and treasure, really, and more than physically it was a huge part of his lover emotionally, and that was kind of ******** important okay?
Then Tolliver had to go and say that, and Hitch's jaw tightened as the words sank in. It could've almost seemed like he was angry if it wasn't for the slightest tightening of his lips, the way his eyes shone maybe just a little too bright before he began blinking furiously, tilting his head away and clearing his throat not once, not twice, but three times. The whole thing was completely stupid and bullshit, not that what Tolliver was saying was bullshit, just the way he reacted. He'd wanted achingly bad for it to be true all ******** night, and more now than ever, it was a dull throb of need that ached throughout every part of him.
"I'd - " His ******** voice wavered. Furrowing his brow, he cleared his throat roughly once more. His tone was raspy, but solid, as he tried again, "I'd ********' tell you until the sun stopped or ********' whatever line you wanna use - I'd tell you forever how ********' great I think you are, an' I'd be ********' happy to do it. I am yours, ********' totally yours. Just - "
He didn't quite look at him. "Promise you mean that. I'm not - " There were a lot of things he wasn't, and Tolliver was going to see them in time. They always did. "- it sounds ********' stupid, but - promise me babe? Just this one thing?"
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:10 pm
It didn't matter what Hitch thought of his face - well, it did, but Tolliver loved how he looked, loved the feel of his strong jaw beneath his fingertips, the way that his warm lips pushed softly against the palm of his hand when he kissed it. He could have sat and looked at him for hours and never gotten bored, never.
A soft whimper escaped him at the first touch of Hitch's fingers on his leg, and Tolliver's first instinct was to snatch it away, hide it, try to pretend that he wasn't completely ******** up. The twisted burn marks were ugly and unattractive, a constant reminder of what he'd done, the mistakes he'd made, but here Hitch was, unwilling to turn away from it, trying to make him feel easier about it, no less, and Tolliver felt his heart expand in his chest.
He inched, just a little closer; a silent indication for Hitch to keep doing what he was doing.
He'd thought he made him angry - Tolliver felt fear rising in his throat, trying frantically to figure out if he'd said too much, if he'd assumed too much by asking what he was asking for. Hitch's throat bobbed as he cleared and his eye were - were bright -
Tolliver dragged in a ragged breath, and he still felt that fear, because Hitch wasn't looking at him, he was looking away, but what he was asking - and what he wanted, Tolliver could do that. He could answer that, he could, at the very least, do what he could to prove that he meant every single word, because the fact that Hitch had said he was his -
A hand pressed against Hitch's chest, and then he pushed hard, Tolliver using every bit of strength he had to roll them over, readjusting himself so that he was sitting with his legs on either side of Hitch's, the blankets tangled around his waist, hands flat against Hitch's chest.
"Logan," Tolliver said softly, and he bent his head and turned Hitch's to his so that he could kiss him, quiet and gentle. "I promise."
He could feel the beat of his heart against his ribcage. Everything had slowed, time stopping, the world ending except for the two of them, in this moment.
"You are mine," Tolliver said, and his voice was hoarse, his chest tight, and he felt as though everything was changing, the air around him thick, his eyes too bright, and really, they were just two people who shouldn't have fit together, who were desperate for things they hadn't been able to have - and yet they worked together, because their hearts were similar, each one aching for something meaningful, for someone to make them feel that they meant something.
"You're mine," Tolliver said again, voice barely above a whisper. "And I'm yours. I'm yours, Logan."
His fingers traced tender lines down the side of his lover's face.
"I promise you, I am only yours."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:35 pm
Hitch's stance on scars were different - except for his, like the traces of scars on his knuckles (from his own stupidity and nothing more), or fainter ones across his hands from the deli work he'd done while his mom had still been alive and they'd ******** needed a way to pay the bills, or especially the acne scars because he couldn't stop ******** with his face - but most scars, he loved. Not like a kink or anything weird like that, just... scars set people apart. Made them unique and interesting. No one else in the world would have the same scars that Tolliver St. James did, and that just made him more ******** special. He knew how dumb it probably sounded, but he felt the way he felt and that's just all there was to it. So Hitch was secretly delighted that he was allowed to dote on his bad leg a little, tracing the softer and rougher flesh gently and rather adoringly.
The sudden pressure of Tolliver's hand on his chest pushing him took him by surprise and he yelped, his eyes wide as his lover guided his face back to his, and even if he melted right into that kiss with his eyes sliding shut, Tolliver could have easily seen the traces of stubborn moisture in his eyes. Hitch did not get emotional. Hitch did not cry. Hitch had not even cried when his mother had died; there'd just been no time and place for it.
Now here he was biting back ******** irrational tears in his eyes, overwhelmed by the desperation, the need, and the happiness that Tolliver was giving him that he was only too aware could vanish at the drop of a hat and then what was he even going to ******** do then.
The ******** beauty of it, the way Tolliver looked as he promised him, the way he spoke, moved, his weight and the weight of his words, his touches - it was sad as s**t but even if his lover didn't even know the ******** half of it, he'd never felt so ******** wholly loved and accepted as he did right in that singular moment.
Logan threw an arm up over his eyes to catch the heat there before Tolliver could get them, but his mouth was uncovered and he was smiling - even laughing, a choking, halting sound, his free hand tracing any piece of Tolliver he could get.
"Thank you, " and his voice was strained but it sounded like a sigh of relief, or maybe more like a breath after he'd held it for far too long. His hand fell onto Tolliver's hip and squeezed, over his stomach and lower, then up across his chest, anywhere and everywhere. "Sorry, I - ********, you're so ********' sexy right now - just - aw ********, " and he was still laughing at himself, because it masked anything else. "I'm such a ********' idiot, ******** me, hah..."
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:38 pm
The feeling of Hitch's fingers gently tracing his scars brought a mixture of both anxiety and pleasure to Tolliver, and he tried to bite back on the former and focus on the latter. He felt terribly exposed, horribly visible; but at the same time, Hitch was tender and adoring, without a trace of disgust or mocking behind his ministrations.
Tolliver caught the wetness at the edges of Hitch's eyes, and it made his stomach twist, made his heart clamber in his chest, because he was the one who was supposed to be emotional, not Hitch. And yet, here he was, an arm hypocritically over his face to hide himself, and the warm hand was reassuring, but the smile - the smile and the laugh were so incredibly beautiful that it quite literally took Tolliver's breath away. He made a soft, half strangled sound that resembled a sob and a laugh mingled together, and Tolliver felt shivers and heat trailing from every place that Hitch was touching him.
"You're not an idiot," Tolliver murmured, and for the first time in a long time, a smile - a genuine smile - had begun to touch his lips and his eyes were too bright again, but Tolliver leaned down and kissed Hitch, hands on either side of his face to hold him steady. It was long and a little messy, because he couldn't seem to catch his breath, but by the end of it, he was laughing against his lips, his cheeks wet.
"Logan," he whispered, and he felt giddy with happiness. Another kiss was pressed to his cheek, then his neck, his collarbone, his chest before Tolliver moved back up to look down at him. He was flushed a brilliant shade of red, but there was something about what Hitch had said that had given him an idea - whether or not he could pull it off remained to be seen, but it would also be a chance for Tolliver to prove what he had promised.
Shyly, he bent his head, and pressed a soft kiss to Hitch's cheek before Tolliver moved his lips to his ear. He hesitated for a few seconds, and then, throwing caution to the wind, whispered a halting suggestion to him that was highly reminiscent of what Hitch had first done to him, on the couch, Tolliver thoroughly embarrassed by his boldness and inexperience. But he wanted to do it, as tired as they both were, and he burrowed himself against his lover regardless, warm and secure.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:11 am
Tolliver was right; he was better off being the emotional one than Hitch. Why? Because when Tolliver did it, it was cute and endearing. He bit his lip and blushed and got teary eyed and did that absolutely adorable little hiccuping sob that made Hitch want to wrap him up as if his arms were a blanket. It tugged at his heartstrings in all the right ways, and made him not only want to make everything right in Tolliver's world again but also made him adore his lover that much more. Even that sound just now, that laugh-sob, it was such a ******** beautiful sound he wished he could store it away and keep it for a darker, dismal day.
An emotional Hitch was an ugly one (although to be fair, Hitch thought a lot of the things he was and did were ugly). If he ever cried, his eyes got red at the edges and a trace of puffiness that could last for hours afterwards. He was an uncontrollable sniffler. Not that he was sobbing now, but if it ever did happen, it was this horrible choking thing that caught in his throat like popcorn kernels.
Then again, this was no miserable, embittered sobbing; the reactions weren't half as bad, but Hitch's eyes would still be pink at best, red at worst, and the irritating sniffling had already started and he absolutely ******** hated it. But the sheer joy he felt outweighed his piss poor self-esteem and somehow it didn't seem to matter as much.
He stole the barest of peeks over his arm just in time to see Tolliver's smile, unlike any he'd seen yet - and he'd just drawn in the quickest, shakiest breath when his lover leaned in, planted his hands on his face, and kissed him. His eyes slid shut as he all but purred into that kiss, and god really, just let him die here. There was no chance it would get better than this. Whoever was listening, just strike him down because this single moment was worth any amount of grief that had come before.
Tolliver had promised him, though. He'd promised him, and he was just going to have to try and believe it. His hands slid away and down, each tracing up one of his lover's thighs and then up over his hips, his thumbs swiping over the ridges of his hipbones. And when he pulled away laughing, ********, Hitch was laughing with him, nuzzling their cheeks together and wishing he could pretend all that dampness was just sweat - or maybe he didn't. Maybe this was actually okay, even if it was just for this one stitch in time.
He shivered at the way Tolliver said his name, and his dark eyes practically burned as his lover left a line of kisses, his breath coming a little faster and his heart beating a little harder to greet Tolliver's lips. He was exhausted, they both were, but those kisses and those cheeks stained with red and ********, just everything about him - it took so painfully little for Tolliver to worm his way under Logan's skin. The soft kiss to his cheek was met with a delighted hum, but then he shifted to his ear and before Tolliver even spoke, the warmth of his breath at his ear made him shiver and sparked more embers that burned away in the pit of his stomach.
Then Tolliver just had to go and utter that simple suggestion that promised so ******** much, and the embers became a mother ******** inferno. Hitch's brow furrowed and he made one of those sounds in the back of his throat that would've never had a place outside of the bedroom, and his hand came to curl at the base of his lover's neck, winding into his hair.
"Please. ********, please, baby."
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