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 Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:05 pm
Utsukushi Torgrita Total Sanity as a Gennin with no Akuma no Chi techniques: 140 Learning first E-rank: -1 Learning first D-rank: -2 Learning first C-rank: -7 Learning first B-rank: -16 Learning first A-rank: -28 Learning first S-rank: -35 Learning first SS-rank: - 53 ( Remainder ) ---Will you explain this in greater Detail please? Like is there more to the system, do you lose sanity every time you use a technique?Requirements & Rules---Katon Should have to be a secondary Element because of all the fire based attacks.
---You may create things, just you cannot make large moving objects
Ex: Wolves, large dragons, etc.
Oni sāji [ Demon Surge ] ~ C-rank
---This should be at least B Ranked
Mekura ken-ka yami [ Blinding Darkness ] ~ C-rank
---If you want this to be a C ranked technique, it needs to last for one post. If not, it can be a B ranked tech. for two post, and if you want the four post limit, then it needs to be a A ranked technique.
Yami maisō [ Darkness Burial ] ~ B-rank
---It can hold them, but it cannot hold them while under the ground, like you may drag them under the ground but once it drags them under, it releases them.
Yūrei: Sensō [ Ghost: War ] ~ A-rank
---This needs to be at least S Ranked, and you cannot make people use double their chakra.
Yūrei: Ekibyō [ Ghost: Pestilence ] ~ A-rank
---Can be four post if this technique gets moved to S Ranked.
Yūrei: Shi [ Ghost: Death ] ~ S-rank
---No, because through four post the target is getting weaker and weaker, you're, the user, are not about to just pass out or be defeated.
Baindingu tsuru [ Binding Tendrils ] ~ S-rank
---No, this needs to be something you can dodge, and you can't just mold chakra to rip people apart.
Kyōki o dakishimeru [ Embracing Insanity ] ~ SS-rank
--- No the first part is fine with the small charge of chakra, and the impenetrable barrier, and even the explosion, but everything else after that is a No; also the explosion needs to have a range.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:21 pm
My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... I've made all of the edits.
For the limitation, I added this: "Upon successfully casting this jutsu, the user is unable to wield the arm that was used to complete this technique."
By fluent knowledge of medical science, I meant as a person opposed to as an OC. Someone who lacks knowledge of such sciences may have some difficulty with certain aspects of this Kekkei Genkai. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face???
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Puppet on a String Theory
Philosophizing Bibliophile
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:26 pm
Metal Trsu Utsukushi Torgrita Total Sanity as a Gennin with no Akuma no Chi techniques: 140 Learning first E-rank: -1 Learning first D-rank: -2 Learning first C-rank: -7 Learning first B-rank: -16 Learning first A-rank: -28 Learning first S-rank: -35 Learning first SS-rank: - 53 ( Remainder ) ---Will you explain this in greater Detail please? Like is there more to the system, do you lose sanity every time you use a technique?Requirements & Rules---Katon Should have to be a secondary Element because of all the fire based attacks.
---You may create things, just you cannot make large moving objects
Ex: Wolves, large dragons, etc.
Oni sāji [ Demon Surge ] ~ C-rank
---This should be at least B Ranked
Mekura ken-ka yami [ Blinding Darkness ] ~ C-rank
---If you want this to be a C ranked technique, it needs to last for one post. If not, it can be a B ranked tech. for two post, and if you want the four post limit, then it needs to be a A ranked technique.
Yami maisō [ Darkness Burial ] ~ B-rank
---It can hold them, but it cannot hold them while under the ground, like you may drag them under the ground but once it drags them under, it releases them.
Yūrei: Sensō [ Ghost: War ] ~ A-rank
---This needs to be at least S Ranked, and you cannot make people use double their chakra.
Yūrei: Ekibyō [ Ghost: Pestilence ] ~ A-rank
---Can be four post if this technique gets moved to S Ranked.
Yūrei: Shi [ Ghost: Death ] ~ S-rank
---No, because through four post the target is getting weaker and weaker, you're, the user, are not about to just pass out or be defeated.
Baindingu tsuru [ Binding Tendrils ] ~ S-rank
---No, this needs to be something you can dodge, and you can't just mold chakra to rip people apart.
Kyōki o dakishimeru [ Embracing Insanity ] ~ SS-rank
--- No the first part is fine with the small charge of chakra, and the impenetrable barrier, and even the explosion, but everything else after that is a No; also the explosion needs to have a range.
I'm currently editing most of the changes you have told me to make, there's only two things I want to ask about.
- Yurei: Shi
I was wondering if there was a way I could keep it some how, negating the weakening effect so that the person has more of a chance to fight back. If not, that's okay and I will remove it, I'm just trying to keep the four horseman theme.
- Binding tendrils
I'm getting rid of the ripping part of it, my thought process for that was that the user has control over yamiton and therefore can move it as they wish, but I see where you're coming at. However I did state that the person is only impaled if they do not dodge out of the way, therefore saying it is dodgeable, but if you don't move, you're going to get skewered like a rat on a stick.
- Sanity decrease
I tried my best to explain this, and I'm sure I put it somewhere, but I thought I made it clear that this only happens the first time you use the jutsu. If not, I will surely go back and add it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:26 pm
iiTetshinji-Kun My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... I've made all of the edits.
For the limitation, I added this: "Upon successfully casting this jutsu, the user is unable to wield the arm that was used to complete this technique."
By fluent knowledge of medical science, I meant as a person opposed to as an OC. Someone who lacks knowledge of such sciences may have some difficulty with certain aspects of this Kekkei Genkai. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face??? Everything looks great ^_^ I still think that they should be required to have a certain amount of SP distributed to medical ninjutsu to use the techniques.
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Puppet on a String Theory
Philosophizing Bibliophile
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:27 pm
My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... What do you suggest??? Seeing as I'm quite new the system, I feel that I can trust you to make an accurate decision. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face???
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:31 pm
iiTetshinji-Kun My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... What do you suggest??? Seeing as I'm quite new the system, I feel that I can trust you to make an accurate decision. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face??? D 5SP C 10SP B 15SP A 20SP S 25SP SS 30SP Just a suggestion. It seems as though without medical ninjutsu a character would harm themselves by preforming any of these techniques. Just an opinion though.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:34 pm
Utsukushi Torgrita I'm currently editing most of the changes you have told me to make, there's only two things I want to ask about.
- Yurei: Shi
I was wondering if there was a way I could keep it some how, negating the weakening effect so that the person has more of a chance to fight back. If not, that's okay and I will remove it, I'm just trying to keep the four horseman theme.
- Binding tendrils
I'm getting rid of the ripping part of it, my thought process for that was that the user has control over yamiton and therefore can move it as they wish, but I see where you're coming at. However I did state that the person is only impaled if they do not dodge out of the way, therefore saying it is dodgeable, but if you don't move, you're going to get skewered like a rat on a stick.
- Sanity decrease
I tried my best to explain this, and I'm sure I put it somewhere, but I thought I made it clear that this only happens the first time you use the jutsu. If not, I will surely go back and add it.
The horseman theme is fine with me, just you cannot have the technique just out right kill someone. Maybe it can weaken them for a set amount of post, but again cannot kill anyone. (Like automatically kill them anyways)
- Binding tendrils
Being impaled is fine, but again if you rip someone's body apart it's a autokill.
- Sanity decrease
You are Correct I misread over it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:37 pm
My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... My views were that it be similar to the manga version of the Shikotsumyaku. Unlike the anime where holes open in the skin to allow bones to extend through, the cartilage just tears through the epidermis. I was thinking that the general aspect could take place with this, where the blood might just shred the skin to access more external areas. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face???
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Puppet on a String Theory
Philosophizing Bibliophile
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:39 pm
iiTetshinji-Kun My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... My views were that it be similar to the manga version of the Shikotsumyaku. Unlike the anime where holes open in the skin to allow bones to extend through, the cartilage just tears through the epidermis. I was thinking that the general aspect could take place with this, where the blood might just shred the skin to access more external areas. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face??? Ahhh ok ^_^ Add that to the description and it's approved.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:39 pm
Alright, I'll get rid of the killing part and only have it so it leaves them substantially weakened.
I've gotten rid of the ripping part completely.
I also fixed a smmaaallllll spelling error I might have made, it's Yamiton instead of Yumiton. [ Amazing what one letter can do. ]
Once I am finished making the rest of the fixes, I will quote you.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:47 pm
I have made the needed corrections.
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:49 pm
My face is reflected in the water...
It's a shining grin full of hope... It's been added. Thanks for your time. ... Or it could be a look of somber silence struggling with fear...
What do you see reflected in your face???
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Puppet on a String Theory
Philosophizing Bibliophile
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 4:50 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 5:15 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 5:37 pm
Sorry. I just put them in
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