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 Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:08 am
'Hey, Bob. Do you know CPR?'
'Yeah, why?'
'I think my p***s stopped breathing.'
' mad '
On a welcome mat:
'NICE UNDERWEAR'
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 2:00 pm
That's not a floating tree and I'm NOT INSANE!
...it's a normal tree, on Mars
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 3:05 pm
OMG reading through all these reminded me of this one:
"People die if they are killed..." -Motivational poster for an anime
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:04 pm
Divide by Zero? I can do tha---
^ One of my Gaia Friends razz
Also:
There ain't no party like my Nana's Tea Party! Hey! Ho! (Flight of the Conchords)
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:29 pm
Dude, that's AWESOME!!!
...WTH is it?
-guy in hall when I showed off my newest painting
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:08 pm
Heh. For a second I thought that was referring to the Division by Zero one.
"I'm allergic to alcohol; every time I drink it I break out in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs" - I forget exactly, but probably Texts From Last Night
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:15 pm
hehe...it's funny cause it's true!
God: Rich and Steve, to thank you both for finding my son, I will grant each of you ONE WISH. Now think hard and make them good!
*pause for thought*
Both: DONE!
Rich: You mean George Lucas is going to make ANOTHER Star Wars triligy!?!
Steve: You mean Rich ISN'T going to get what he wished for?
hahaha...The Outer Circle is win
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:18 pm
A quote from a very wonderful, lovely webcomic.
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 4:21 am
Part of a joke my friend told me:
A little girl to man who was trying to see her underwear by making her climb up a tree.
'Ha! You can't see my underwear because I'm not wearing any!'
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 3:04 pm
"Sugar is like crack, except it's legal." -Quote from a very good friend of mine =3
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 6:43 pm
"I had coffee and coke." - coworker 1
"Coke? As in coke coke?" - coworker 2
"It was coke" - coworker 1
"Sniff sniff coke or sip sip coke?" - coworker 2
"Not coke, it was coke" - coworker 1
"Drink or drug? Specify." - me
This exchange happened this afternoon at work.
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 8:40 pm
One more before I split for the night:
Mike Rowe (host of Dirty Jobs): "How long have you been doing this?"
Les Swanson (a septic tank cleaner): "7 years."
Mike: "What'd you do before?"
Les: "Psychologist."
Mike: "Why did you leave?"
Les: "I got tired of dealing with other people's crap."
Irony at it's finest... and messiest...
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 12:08 am
'There is no elevator to success.
You have to take the stairs.'
- on a billboard outside the train station
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 3:22 pm
'It's dangerous to go alone...Take this'
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 8:47 pm
Original Zelda FTW.
"The last Metroid is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace"
Famous last words
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