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Offical Joke thread!!! Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 12 13 14 15 [>] [»|]

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baby_bluegirl00

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 1:32 pm


Saved
baby_bluegirl00
A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine-"la maison." "Pencil", however, is
masculine-"le crayon."A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the
feminine gender ("la computer"), because:
1. no one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. the native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. as soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(No chuckling guys... this gets better!!!) The women's group,
however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (le
computer"), because:
1. in order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. they have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. they are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. as soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won!


Hehe I like that one...computer= le ordinateur.

heh, yeah I know. I just learned that. xd
PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 6:45 am


Yo Blondies this might be offensive!!


A burnette, a red head, and a blonde are in stuck in the middle of a desert because the car broke down. They each decide to take an item. The burnette takes food thinking if she gets hungry she'll be able to eat. The red head decides to take water knowing if she gets thirsty she has water. The blonde rips the car door off and smiles.

The other two girls ask the blonde, "Why did you take the car door?"

The blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."

Never_Ending_Reminder


Valendra

PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:05 am


the_heartless_theif_Lynx
Yo Blondies this might be offensive!!


A burnette, a red head, and a blonde are in stuck in the middle of a desert because the car broke down. They each decide to take an item. The burnette takes food thinking if she gets hungry she'll be able to eat. The red head decides to take water knowing if she gets thirsty she has water. The blonde rips the car door off and smiles.

The other two girls ask the blonde, "Why did you take the car door?"

The blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."


booo... i'm not blonde though this was quite senseless in my opinion razz
no offensive, please sweatdrop
PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:06 am


Valendra
the_heartless_theif_Lynx
Yo Blondies this might be offensive!!


A burnette, a red head, and a blonde are in stuck in the middle of a desert because the car broke down. They each decide to take an item. The burnette takes food thinking if she gets hungry she'll be able to eat. The red head decides to take water knowing if she gets thirsty she has water. The blonde rips the car door off and smiles.

The other two girls ask the blonde, "Why did you take the car door?"

The blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."


booo... i'm not blonde though this was quite senseless in my opinion razz
no offensive, please sweatdrop
stupid it is, as well as pointless, but hey i like making fun of myself...

Never_Ending_Reminder


Mandie08

PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:47 pm


bloody_dragon_claws
Teh Dirty Hobo!
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses..."

I must be horrible with jokes... I don't get it...
the baby smells mole asses
PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:55 pm


Cool Jokes!

[D3]


baby_bluegirl00

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 8:25 am


Never_Ending_Reminder
Yo Blondies this might be offensive!!


A burnette, a red head, and a blonde are in stuck in the middle of a desert because the car broke down. They each decide to take an item. The burnette takes food thinking if she gets hungry she'll be able to eat. The red head decides to take water knowing if she gets thirsty she has water. The blonde rips the car door off and smiles.

The other two girls ask the blonde, "Why did you take the car door?"

The blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."

Dumb..but great.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:05 am


xdevil_childx
Two guys are working for the city. One digs holes, the other fills them up. A man watching them can't understand what they're doing. Finally, he says, "I see how hard you guys are working, but I'm confused: One of you digs a hole, but then your partner just fills it up again!" The hole digger says, "Yeah, the guy who plants the trees is sick today."

Haha...
That was.... funny... in stupid way. rofl

stillinbed


stillinbed

PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:08 am


Botan neko
A drunk staggers into a catholic church,
enters a confessional box,
sits down but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention,
but the drunk just sits there.

Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles....


'Ain't no use knockin', theres no paper on this side either.'

That was hiliarious!
Lol...
I told my brother... and he didn't get it.
What a loser.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 10:09 am


Padf007
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart when your going to be in there for a long time:


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

Hahaaaaaaa.
My friend does the first one...
Gosh.. now I want to go to wal-mart.
<3
Sarah

stillinbed


Kaoru-senpai

PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:02 am


lol the jokes in the christmas crakers r always so bad...it just makes me laugh =P
PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 10:59 pm


*WARNING Language blocked by asterisks*

Man asleep at church
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
godda**ed thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half
and shove it up your as*!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

TyDe006


[Raine]

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:28 pm


(***MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO ALL GAY HORSES!!!***)

What does a gay horse eat?

A:
Hay hay hay!!
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:29 pm


whats the best part about screwing a 13 yr old in the shower?


slicking their hair back and pretending their 11 xD

ieatwood

Distinct Rogue

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Drunken Samurai X

PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:32 pm


What grave did you Newbies pull this thread out off. I suggest you guys stop pulling up old threads before you make King upset. You are not supose bring up really old threads in less King got rid that rule or something. I do not know but anyway he made big deal about it before.
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The Suites

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