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 Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:19 pm
Julien looked up as the power faded away, the tail whole and proper once more. "I still need to get used to it," he admitted quietly, watching Toulouse with solemn eyes. "But it helps to understand more how it works," he admitted.
Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet, moving toward the stairs. "I promised you food, didn't I?" he asked quietly.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:29 pm
“Eh, I guess. I don’t really care though. You make it if you’re hungry. I'll watch.” Toulouse caught up with Julien. He grabbed the other boy’s hand swinging it like a real child would. “Your not still vexed are you? I’m sorry I put you out. Please don’t be angry anymore. You’re not tired are you?” Toulouse looked plaintively up into Julien’s face, feeling awful about what he said earlier. He thought way too many thoughts and it wasn’t right of him to air his dirty laundry in front of Julien. It wasn’t fair to think he was the only one on the planet with woes.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:45 pm
Julien looked down at Toulouse, then sighed, squeezing the hand gently before looking away. "I'm thinking, is all," he explained quietly. "It hurts, a bit, to think that you don't feel you can talk to me, but I'm being selfish by wanting you to. I just... have to accept that you're not ready to trust me that way yet, and hope that I can change it somehow." He shrugged, smiling faintly. "It's a little like... like a cat getting used to me. I can't force it to happen. You aren't going to like me if I drag you onto my lap and pet you, after all. But maybe if I'm patient enough, we can be closer than we are now."
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:02 pm
“You have to understand that it’s…difficult…for me to talk about something that I’m not anymore. I’ll never be what I was again.” Toulouse said the last bit sadly, remembering a time a millennium ago. A much happier time. He made an awkward face trying to decide something. “It’s not that I don’t trust you…it’s just well, complicated. So very complicated.” He sighed following Julien up the stairs, leaving the door open so Love could make her way up when she was ready.
“If I told you a secret, not the secret, but a secret. Would you believe that I trust you, even just a little?” Toulouse asked hesitantly after a moment. He wasn’t sure he should tell Julien this particular secret, but he felt so ghastly after making Julien feel so bad. Toulouse felt that he had to make it up somehow.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:12 pm
Julien looked back at him, eyes serious. "Don't, Toulouse. I don't want to know a secret just because you feel you owe me, or feel like you have to prove something to me. Tell me if you really want me to know, but not for any other reason." He moved to his backpack, snagging it and heading toward the kitchen. "If I believe that you'll eventually talk to me because you really want to talk to me, I can be patient."
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:33 pm
Oh, how insufferable Julien was being! Toulouse suppressed a very serious scowl. He was right though. Toulouse did feel a bit that way. He wanted to make Julien happy with him and it wasn’t working. Toulouse gave a little, very childish, huff. He didn’t want to tell Julien anything about his past life. What little information Julien did know could alone be dangerous. If Julien knew Toulouse’s real origins, there could be hell to pay. What if they were still looking for him? What if-Toulouse shook his head. No. He wouldn’t breath a word. Julien may not have known it, but he had stopped Toulouse from making a seriously indiscreet mistake. Toulouse would rather have Julien mad at him then pulled into a world of suffering.
Toulouse needed a break. A chance to regroup and to regain his composure. He was beginning to feel to comfortable with Julien and that made him too chatty. “I’m going to run up to my room for a moment. I’ll be right back.” Toulouse said as he watched Julien busy himself in the kitchen. Toulouse all but ran upstairs.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 6:52 pm
Julien watched Toulouse go, then sank down into a chair, dropping his face into his hands and sighing. "Just... need to not think for a while," he finally decided, his voice soft. Scrubbing his face with his hands, he got up and moved to the fridge, digging through it for a drink before moving to get started cooking. Cooking would help... at least with cooking, he was creating something they could both enjoy and smile about.
And maybe afterward, they'd both be more comfortable with each other...
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:27 pm
Toulouse flung himself on his bed, facedown. Maybe he could smother himself with the pillow. At least that would better then Julien being angry with him, even if Julien himself wouldn’t admit it.
Oh, how he longed for his old body, his old self! He yearned for it as a man in the desert yearned for a cool drink. Toulouse got slowly off the bed and faced the floor length mirror opposite it. He stared at the strange gangly boy there who was him but not him at all. He selfishly mourned the death of his first self the most. How he wanted things ot just go back.
Toulouse’s magic flared out around him. The items in his room began to float about freely, just as his golden hair drifted about his face as if in static. His power soared through his veins, heady and strong, and all he could think about was his old self and Julien’s upset face. The mirror in front of him fogged up for a moment as if someone had breathed softly against. The image in the mirror flickered, swirled and changed to reveal a young man. He was tall with beautifully sharp features and vibrant golden hair. That was Toulouse. The one he knew.
The image flickered as the glamour surrounded Toulouse in an almost unbearable heat. It was getting harder to breath. The image began to disappear but Toulouse didn’t want to let the illusion go. He had once be the greatest of illusionists and now he was reducing to floating books. He gave a horrible cry just as the image vanished along with his magic. He was still to weak to hold anything.
Toulouse fell to his knees, nearly exhausted, the things in his room crashing down around him. He touched the mirror with childish hands, reverently, as if that and his tears would bring everything back. He vaguely wondered if Julien was done with lunch.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 7:35 pm
Hearing the sounds of things crashing down, Julien frowned sharply, torn away from lunch. "Toulouse?" he called out, moving to the foot of the stairs and hesitating a moment before starting up. "Are you okay up there?!"
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 8:20 pm
Toulouse’s magic flared sporadically against the confines of his room. He clenched his fist and the mirror cracked, spider webbing from top to bottom is long jagged lines. The mirror fogged up completely this time and didn’t fade. If anyone tried to look at themselves in it now, they would see nothing. Only smoke.
“I’m fine.” Toulouse whispered, barely hearing Julien’s voice through the buzz of his own magic. “For the love of my Father, please stay away.” This he said even quieter. When Toulouse realized he had been whispering he spoke louder in a falsely cheery voice. “I’m fine.” He called past his shut door. “Just a stumble pet, don’t worry.”
Toulouse placed his head against the frostiness of the glass, his breath coming out in a tumbled puff. It was stupid of him to do what he just did. He knew his limitations in this accursed child’s body, but he still tried anyways, despite the consequences. He wanted to show Julien his real self and not because he felt he needed to. He just wanted Julien to see. He wanted him to know, but he couldn’t do it. He was too weak like always.
Toulouse leaned against the mirror catching the rest of his breath as he felt his muscles becoming stiff as if from a hard days labor. He hoped Julien would stay out.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 8:45 pm
Julien made his way up the stairs, pausing outside the door and lifting a hand to rest against the wood. "...Lunch is almost ready. Do you... do you want any help?" he asked, wishing he didn't feel so awkward now. Maybe he should have just left well enough alone, and let them continue on their merry way... but it felt wrong to pretend, and Julien wasn't about to pretend otherwise.
Letting his hand linger on the door, Julien sighed, closing his eyes. "Are you hurt at all?" he asked, his voice quieter, but still audible.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:00 pm
Toulouse felt Julian at the door. Hurriedly he threw a white sheet to rest over the mirror and wiped the perspiration that had beaded on his brow. He flung some of his things that had fallen onto his bed and they too, were covered with a sheet. He knew he sould be honest with Julien, but he couldn’t bring himself to it. His glamour had failed and that was what Toulouse wanted Julien to see the most
Nearly stumbling to reach the door, Toulouse grasped the knob. He took a very deep breath and straightened up with his best impassive face that he had. He opened the door slowly and calmly. “Hurt? Why no, not at all. What could possibly hurt me here in my own room?” Toulouse asked Julien innocently peaking from behind the half opened door. “I just had a bit of a trip. Nothing serious. Is lunch really done?” Toulouse asked this eagerly as he stepped into the hallway with Julien, while making sure to shut the door firmly behind him.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:55 pm
Julien watched Toulouse for a moment, then sighed and moved to lead the way downstairs. "It should be done by the time we're down there again," he nodded, forcing some cheer back into his voice. It felt false, but his good humor would return soon enough... he was sure of it. "Are you hungry yet?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 10:14 pm
No, Toulouse thought. Not even a little. He was just tired and achy as he walked down the stairs, staring at the back of Julien’s head. He felt outrageously stupid for attempting the impossible. He didn’t say any of these things though. Toulouse also wondered if Julien felt the same way and Just wasn't saying anything. He made of not of it to ask when they sat for lunch.
“Sure.” Toulouse replied using the same kind of false cheeriness as before. “Let’s tuck in.” He knuckled at his gritty eyes as he reached the end of the stairs, then stopped himself so Julien wouldn’t see the fatigue. “What did you make?” Toulouse asked trying very hard to be pleasant and conversational.
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2008 8:30 am
"Roast beef sandwiches," Julien noted, making his way over to the plates to finish putting them together. A small bowl went on one side of each plate and the sandwich on the other. "And some potato cream soup," he added, setting a spoon on each plate before bringing one over to Toulouse, his eyes searching Toulouse's face. "After lunch... do you want to rest?"
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