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[Degona and Eli have been kidnapped by Danneh and are awaiting being tortured, or killed or something]
Eli: We must do something to keep our spirits up, how about some kind of word game?
Degona: [annoyed] Very well... make a sentence of the following words: Face, Sodding, Your, Shut!

Danneh: Your Queen has replied to my ransom demands. I will now read it to you...
Degona: Oh typical master criminal, loves the sound of his own voice...

[Eli accidentally destroyed Danielle's Favorite dictionary. Degona has told Eli that he has to steal another copy]
Eli: But I'll go to hell forever for stealing...
Degona: Eli, eternity in the company of Bellezebob, and all his hellish instraments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me... [holds up pencil] and this pencil.. if we don't replace her dictionary!

Destiny: [to Dan] What begins with come here, and ends with Ow?
Dan: I don't know..
Destiny: Come here... [he aproches her, she slaps him hard across the face]
Dan: OW! [falls to the floor]

[Destiny is being held on trial in the Observent's high court]
Destiny: What are you doing here Eli, straightening chairs?
Eli: I'm here for the prosecution. You haven't got a chance...
Destiny: I doubt that. Any reasonable judge is bound to let me off...
Eli: >} Certainly...
[Voice from outside the room, clearly Clockwork's]
Destiny: O.O I'm dead...

[in the trail]
Clockwork: Oh Clark, hand me that black cap, I'll be needing it later...
Destiny: I love a fair trail...

[after Dan's testimony in the court]
Destiny: [head-desking repeatedly]

[Clockwork sent for Destiny, and when she arrives, Eli ambushes her, and searches her for a weapon]
Destiny: What's going on?
Eli: Security Destiny...
Destiny: Security?
Clockwork: Security isn't a dirty word Destiny.. Crevice is a dirty word, but security isn't.
Destiny: Sir, in the name of security everyone who enters the room has to have her bottom fondled by this drooling pervert?
Eli: I'm only doing my job Destiny..
Destiny: Oh, well then how fortunate for you that your job is also your hobby.
Clockwork: Now there's another dirty word.. job!
Eli: Anyway Destiny. the reason we've called you hear is that there is a leak...
Clockwork: Now Leak is a positively disgusting word.

[Destiny was given her orders to go under cover at a hospital. She says a sarcastic thing to Eli and leaves]
Eli: Oh damnation, Destiny makes my blood boil. And I don't trust her. I request that I go under cover too to watch over her...
Clockwork: What spy on our own spy as she searches for their spy? Why not that sounds like fun. And you'll need some kind of wound, some convincing wound...
Eli: Naturally Sir...
Clockwork: [pulls out a gun and shoots Eli in the foot]
Eli: [screams and drops to the floor]
Clockwork: There, that looks convincing...

Destiny: [during all hell, on the phone] Yes, I'd like to make a telegram to Clockwork. Message reads, "Where are you, you b*****d!"

[After the gang has just did some kind of musical number]
Danneh: [clapping slow and sarcastically] Utter crap...

Dan: [in drag] I feel fantastic!

[This one is slightly tweaked. The Queen wanted it Orange, but I know Danielle prefers purple. xD]
Eli: Grey, I think your Majesty...
Danielle: I think you'll find them in Purple Lord Eli...
Eli: Grey is more usual Mam...
Danielle: Who's Queen?
Eli: Very well, there were these magnificent purple elephants...
[Destiny walks in]
Destiny: My Lady, you sent for me?
Danielle: Yes, Lord Eli has bad news...
Destiny: Lord Eli is bad news...

Destiny: [to Eli] Eli, if we are lucky enough to get out of this alive, remind me to kill you...

Danielle: Degona, You wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple, and danced naked on top of a table singing "Subtle plans are here again!"
Degona: >|

~Black Adder [One of the greatest British comedies ever to come out of... well Britain! xD]

-----------

Arcel: [To Eli] Everyday I wake up glad I'm not you...
Eli: You and me both...

[Destiny is acting loopy.. more then usual]
Degona: Well, its bound to wear off eventually...
Eli: What is, being Destiny?!



Arcel: Next time you see Danrie, try smiling...
KD: I tried that once, I destroyed a water-cooler!

[At a fancy dinner, ND and Degona are celebrating they're one year anniversary. ND is in a non-ninja outfit, Degona in a sexy tight red dress. Through-out the evening, Degona gets more frustrated with ND for not getting "legs crossed excited" over her, like he did with his ex, Danrie [xD]. She decides to have some revenge]
ND: [alert] That would be your foot...
Degona: Just checking on progress...
ND: Come on, this rediculous.. [twitches] Come on Degona, move your foot... [maons excited. Then eyes widen] Now that's clever, moving you zipper with your foot... [smiles] you know, if this is some kind of revenge thing, I think Im kinda okay with it...
Degona: Oh this isn't the revenge part, this is [to a waitress] Excuse me...
[She comes over]
Degona: Can you tell us today's specials please...
Waitress: Certainly, we have duck-
ND: [lets out a low orgasmic moan, from whatever Degona just did with her foot]
Waitress: O.O
ND: I really like Duck...
Waitress: We also have steak-
ND: [reacting to the foot again] WOOO! Steak, steak steak!
Degona: Wait 'till you get to the deserts, he'll really blow his top, promise you...
ND: Degona please stop this!
Degona: How does this compare to Danrie's dressed?
[Just then ND's cell rings and he goes into the hall to answer it]
ND: Arcel, I know that was my idea, but that was worst timing in the history of everything ever.... Arcel? [realization on face] Danrie? Danrie, if that's you, can you once and for all just get over it! Degona's the woman I am going to marry! Danrie?
[he turns around, and see's Degona standing behind him]
Degona: In every possible sense of the word.. [raises cell phone up and smirks] Gotcha!

Arcel: Remember Audrey Watkins, at my flat warming?
Eli: I was drunk!
Arcel: Worst chat-up line in the history of sex, "You're so beautiful you should be Embalmed!"
Eli: Well at least she didn't move house, that was a big step forwards for me!

Degona: Are you nervous Eli, am I making you nervous?
Eli: Im always this nervous. You're closer, you can see it better.

[in bed]
Degona: ND, why do men never...
ND: Never what?
[later, ND and Arcel alone]
Arcel: That is a weird question.
ND: That's what I thought.
Arcel: What did you say?
[meanwhile with Danielle and Degona]
Degona: Because men believe in the sanctity of the law, and because men just don't have the concealment crevasses...
[back with Arcel and ND]
Arcel: And what did she say?
ND: Ah, "No ND, not smuggle.. snuggle."
Arcel: Oh.... concealment crevasses?
ND: That one's haunting me...

Degona: You were being all Danielle-y...
Danielle: Well since I am Danielle...
Degona: No I mean you were being all, "I'm Danielle. I know things you don't know. I make lots of lists, and I trot along the street like a Happy trotting elf!"
Danielle: o.O
Degona: I'm sorry, I opened my mouth and there was a bit more than what I was planning to say...
Danielle: Where did Happy trotting elf come from?
Degona: Off the top of my head. I didn't have time to come up with anything nice...

[Danielle is giving Degona relationship advice. She tells here there are two significant hurtles, one she and ND already hurtled, the other Danielle is keeping as a secret]
Degona: You have got to tell me!
Danielle: Who me? Santa's bounciest helper? Danielle, the happy trotting elf?!
[Destiny comes in at this pint, biting onto a strawberry]
Destiny: You told her about that?!
Danielle: You're in on the trotting elf? [realization] This is some sort of shared joke that I'm not a part of...
Degona: No you are part of it, you're the but... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you...
Danielle: No, its okay. It's fine. I got a sense of humor...
Destiny: It's nothing nasty. I'll fax you the lyrics...
Danielle: Its a song?
Destiny: [to Degona] Actually I thought you did fax them...
Degona: Well not... to Danielle...
Danielle: Its a song and its been distributed?
Degona: We were drunk, it as late. We had an amusing song and a fax machine, there are some things you can't fight...

ND: Degona, you are the most wonderful woman in the history of the entire universe. You're incredible. You got the looks of a Miss World with the brains to match. You're more than a woman, you're like... a man! Seriously, you can be a bloke any time you wanted. Obviously a bloke with some serious defects, but hey who cares about that, I've seen you down drinks with the best of them. I wish I had a mother like you. Or a grandmother, or any kind or ancestor... And since you've said what you said I've had some time to think, but obviously that's not always possible. None the less I've been able to consider your application, and this is the point, this is the important point. Degona, You need someone good enough for you. You don't want some guy who spends all his time talking about his car or his golf clubs. You want someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way I want you to be loved. You're my friend Degona. And I want to see you with the best. You need someone amazing, someone incredibly, superbly, fantastic-ness. And in your heart you'll know I'm right.
Degona: I don't want Mr. Amazingly incredibly, superbly, fantastic-ness, you stupid stupid a**! I want you! *tears*
ND: Degona....
Degona: What... WHAT?!
ND: I was talking about me!
Degona: And so.. You're Mr. Amazingly, incredibly, superbly, fantastic-ness?!
ND: Well.. YES!
Degona: You.... love me?
ND: Remember this? *grabs a remote, hits a button, and the Spiderman theme song plays. Arcel and Eli jump out in Spiderman costumes. They start dancing to the music. Eli look's reluctant and annoyed, Arcel looks happy and in the moment]
Degona: [laughing] Oh My God...
ND: I thought it might set the mood
Degona: You said the private function wasn't us!
ND: A clever lie...
[Eli stops dancing]
Eli: I'd just like it to be recorded that I was against the costume part...
Arcel: I wasn't!
Eli: I was also against the dancing...
Arcel: I invented this dance!
Eli: He wrote it down...
Arcel: I did!
Eli: He's planning on presenting you with the early sketches...
[Degona smiles and ND and they stare into each others eyes. Arcel is still dancing around Eli]
Arcel: Come one Eli, you know you want to...
Eli: This is a romantic moment Arcel, you're sudden DEATH might kill the mood...
Degona: Nothing in the world could kill the mood...
Destiny: [bursts in happy, the music stops] I'M NOT PREGNANT! ^^

~Coupling: A Wonderful British comedy

-----------------------------------

[Eli, Degona, and Lynn come up after a night at the movies to the clubhouse, and see someone has broken in]
Lynn: We should call the cops...
[Degona slinks behind the bird house out front and pulls out a stun gun out of it]
Eli: You have a Stun Gun in the bird house? What do you keep under the garden gnome, a magnum 80?!

[Degona makes a gesture to "watch each others back" but it get's lost in translation]
Lynn: What, do you want me to poke your eyes out on the roof?!

~Psych

(We all know and agree that almost nothing sums up CW and Destiny's "relationship" than that of our favorite slayer and her watcher. xD And here's some clever exchanges between Buffy and Giles xP)

CW: "A hero saves, a Watcher..."
Destiny: "Watches?"
CW: "Yes...no!"

Destiny: "Well, that last roundhouse was kinda sloppy. Are you sure you don't wanna do it again?"
CW: "No! No, no, that's fine. You just... run along. (To himself) While I wait for the feeling to return to my arms."

Destiny: "You want something nicer? Look at my poor neck. All bare and tender and exposed... all that blood just pumping away..."
CW: "Oh, please."
Dan: "CW, make her stop."
CW: "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."

CW: "If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped."
Destiny: "Nah! I think I'll take on your traditional role, and watch."
Degona: "And mock."
Dan: "And laugh

Destiny: "One more word out of you, and I swear..."
Dan: "Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones."
Destiny: "Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of .. stones."
Dan: "Yeah? You're all talk."
Destiny: "CW! I accidentally killed Dan. That's okay, right?"
CW: "Grave robbery? That's new. Interesting."
Destiny: "I know you meant to say gross and disturbing."
CW: "Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it."

CW: "Danneh's taken to teasing the less fortunate?"
Destiny: "Uh-huh."
CW: "There's been noticeable change in his clothing and demeanour?"
Destiny: "Yes."
CW: "And otherwise all his spare time is spent lounging about with imbeciles?"
Destiny: "It's bad?"
CW: 'It's devastating. He's turned into a teenage boy!! Of course, you'll have to kill him."

(And some other Buffy and Angel quotes to go along with it!)

Destiny: "Do you know what you need, Dan, besides a year's supply of acne cream? A brain."
Dan: "That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!"
Destiny: "I've seen you fight, and don't think I can't take you!"
Dan: "Give it your best shot!"
Lynn: "Hey!!! We don't have time for this, our friends are in trouble. Now we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it. And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLUBHOUSE!!!"
Destiny: "We're sorry."
Dan: "We'll be good."

ND: "I read a little... And just thought about a lot of things. Degona, I -"
Degona: "My diary?! You read my diary? That is not okay. A diary is a person's most private place and you don't even know what I was writing about. Hunk can mean a lot of things, bad things, and where it says your eyes are 'penetrating' I meant to write 'bulgy' -"
ND: "Degona, I -"
Degona: "And N doesn't stand for ND, for that matter. It stands for... Nachmed a charming foreign exchange student, and so that whole fantasy part has nothing to do with you at all -"
ND: "Danielle moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear."
Degona: "Oh... (realising) Ohhhhh."

Destiny: "I know you're here, and I know what you are."
Danneh: "Do you? I'm just an animal, right?"
Destiny: "You're not an animal. Animals I like

Demon ND: "Come forth, my child. Come into my world."
Destiny: "I don't think it's yours just yet."
Demon ND: "You're dead!"
Destiny: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."
Demon ND: "You were destined to die. It was written!"
Destiny: "What can I say? I flunked the written."

Degona: "She's possessed!"
Arcel: "Possessed?"
Danielle: "That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should have seen her last night. That wasn't Destiny."
Eli: "Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me?"
Dan: "She's possessed."

ND: "We need you to distract the bad guys."
Degona: "Right."
ND: "What are you gonna' do?"
Degona: "I'm gonna' kill them all. That ought to distract them."

Degona: "I wasn't going to use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"
Danielle: "The important thing is, you believe that

Destiny: "Ok, on sleazing extra candy: Tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the "you missed me" routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate."


Danielle: "Seems Destiny needed some rest."
Danny: "Yeah, she hasn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning."
(Everyone else stares at him)
Danny: "She told me!! 'Cause of her dreams?!"

Danneh: "I got a message for Destiny."
Destiny: "Then why don't you give it to me yourself."
Danneh: "Oh, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends."

Bombay: "This is great. Danneh's got an unkillable demon in town, Destiny's joined his side, Degona's a basket case, I'd say we've hit bottom."
Dan: "I have a plan."
Bombay: "Oh, no! Here's a lower place."

Eli: "Visiting hours are over."
Danneh: "Well, I'm prety much family."
Eli: "Yeah. Why don't you come back during the day? Oh, gee, no, I guess you can't."
Danneh: "If I decide to walk into Destiny's room, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?"
Eli: "Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either. Or those cops... or the orderlies... But I'm kinda curious to find out. You game?"
Danneh: "Destiny's white knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first."
Eli: "You're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there."

80s: "What a psycho female, man."
SD: "Gotta be talking about Destiny."

Degona: "It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want."
Dan: "Then why would they make you see me?"
Degona: "You're right. Let's go

Observant: "Destiny, you will go to the Gleave's family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet."
Destiny: "I will?"
Observant: "Are you not used to being given orders?"
Destiny: "Whenever CW sends me on a mission, he always says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie."

Evil Destiny: "I feel wicked stupid in this."
Vlad: "You look lovely. Perfect for the Ascension. Any boys that manage to survive will be lining up to ask you out."

Dan: "People, prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying... Fantasia. Fantasia?"
Arcel: "Maybe it's because of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to."


Destiny: "But I can't help thinking... isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but... part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting. I wonder where I get that from."

Destiny: "Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be Cameo the Arch Demon, or just Danneh? ‘Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird."
Danneh: "Whereas the name Destiny gives it that touch of classic elegance."
Destiny: "What's wrong with Destiny?"
Degona: "Oh... such a good question."

Destiny: Get off of me.
Demon ND: Is that what you really want? We both know what you really want. You want danger, don't cha? You like your men dangerous.
Destiny: You're in trouble, ND. You are infected with something, it's like a demonic possession!
Demon ND: Dangerous and mean, right? Like your Mystery Guy. Well, guess who just got mean.

Danielle: So. Destiny's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.
Gwen: I-I just left her for a few minutes.
Degona: Oh, it's not your fault. So what's the plan?


Arcel: If I want your opinion, Dan, I'll- I'll never want your opinion.

Danielle: Dan sing a widdle song?
Bombay: Would you say it was a breakaway pop hit or more of a book number?

Danielle: If it was in the clubhouse... then one of us probably...
Lynn: Dan?!
Dan: Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs. I just wanted to make sure we'd... we'd work out. Get a happy ending.
Danneh: I think everything worked out just fine.
Dan: Does this mean that I have to... be your queen?
Danneh: It's tempting. But I think we'll waive that clause just this once

Danneh: (Imitating ND and Degona who he just saved) "How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad-hunk-of-a-knight-thing?" "No need little lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-a** ninja. But love, and a pesky curse, defanged me. And now, I'm just a big fluffy puppy with bad teeth. (She reaches up to touch ND and he pulls away) No! Not the hair! Never the hair." "But there must be some way I can show my appreciation." "No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough." "I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so..." "Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair gel I like so much. Quickly! To the Ninja-mobile! Away!"

Wolf: (About Arcel) "He likes playing the hero. Walking off into the dark, his long coat flowing behind him in that mysterious and attractive way."
Bombay: "Is this a private moment? Cuz I could live you alone."
Wolf: "I'm not saying I'm attracted..."

Degona: "You hurt my boyfriend…!"
Demon: "A great darkness is coming."
Degona: (Angry) "You got that right."

(Talking about how to help ND cope with learning about Degona's pregnancy)
Destiny: Okay. ND needs us right now. So this is what we're gonna do: Danneh, you're backin' off. Danielle, you go talk to him.
Danielle: Can't wait to talk to ND. Maybe we can chat about how everyone in this freakin' club other than me is having a baby. I mean seriously, having a baby, having a baby, having a second baby, oh, having her husband's best friend's baby. That's right Lynn, everyone knows. (Sees Wolf looking at her) What are you lookin' at, Wolf? You wanna kid? Cause I swear to God I will mount you right now!

Arcel: Are you insane?
Wolf: No. I'm a pirate.

Degona: It's yours, ND.
ND: Cool.
Degona: Are you okay?
ND's narration: Aaaaaggggghhhhhh!
ND: Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen the inside of your apartment before.
Degona: Said the father of my unborn child. Heh!... That was a joke. Oh, come on. No laugh from a guy who, when he orders a coffee, he says "Thanks a latte!"
ND: Well, that's different, Degona, that's hilarious. This is life-changing.
Degona: We can get through this.
ND: You know what else is pretty classic - when the coffee guy asks for money, you say, "Sorry, my wallet's in my other pair of mocha-chinos." That always gets 'em.
Degona: [gets a pager beep] Ah, dammit. I have to go to meet Destiny.
ND: Scone is also a-a funny word; but I don't like them, I prefer croissants.
Degona: You're clearly freaking out, so, um, you need to promise me that you're gonna find somebody to talk to about this while I'm gone.
ND: Please! I'll be fine. You be careful - you're walking for two!

Danneh: I'm not freshly ripping anybody anything anymore. I am done with anger.
Destiny: Oh, is that gonna be like the time you quit drinking? 'Cause that was the longest twenty minutes of my life!


Danneh: Oh, my God. I gotta tell you about that day.
Destiny: I can't believe I haven't named him yet. I've been calling him Monkey Face all day - I think they would tease him at school.
Danneh: Seriously, Desi, I saw this one guy-
Destiny: He's got a boodgie the size of a grape in his nose. Would you run back to the hospital and get me one of those suctiony thingies?
Danneh: If I'm not back in twenty minutes, I don't want you to worry because it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way home.
Destiny: Oh, make sure it's a girl.

[Eli has had it with everyone's relationship advice]
Eli: Shut up! shut up! shut up! shut up and shut up! Okay? Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do, is just b***h about your relationships, all day long! (To Danneh) And you know what? Glare all you want big dog, okay? 'Cause I'm not afraid of you. 'Oh no, Destiny's only paying attention to the baby!' That must be so hard for Doctor 'look at me!' isn't it? 'Look at me!' (To Degona and ND) And you two, what you're arguing since you got engaged, wow you must be the first couple that's ever done that ever. It can't be that you're just scared. Is it? (To Danielle) And you, you know what? Let's just- let's just forget for one second that a month ago, you told me that you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort you guys, is while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are! UGHH!! [he leaves]
Lynn: [comes in] Did I miss something good?

Clockwork: How we doing today?
Eli: We're excellent sir. No one going to hell in here.
Clockwork: Super.

Danneh: As much as it may seem like it, to me personally, I feel desperately compelled to remind you that we are in fact not in prison and I am just so not your b***h.
Destiny: Watch your language in front of the baby.
Danneh: You're gonna have to trust me on this one, seems as you're his mother, he's gonna hear that word early, and he's gonna hear it often. Like non-stop.

Arcel: Danneh! I'm so glad you're here!
Danneh: Oh, from one hell to another.

Danneh: Good morning angels. What'd you have? One-too-many daiquiris last night?
Eli: Wolf, this is Danneh and...
Destiny: Don't bother, don't care.
Wolf: Oh oh yeah, right he's the scary man you told me about last night. Hey, congratulations.
Danneh: For what, jackass?
Wolf: You just had a baby.
Eli: No, no, no, she just had a baby.
Wolf: Yeah but you said it was his. And you said something else...
ND: That he didn't know it yet!
Wolf: Right! ^^
Danneh: O.O

ND's Narration: Okay, he hasn't said a word in over ten minutes... Eh, the hell with it. I'm going in.
ND: Danneh-
Danneh: Ninja, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't "see ya", then the third word will be "Oh, my God, my crotch, you've punched me in the crotch."
ND: See ya.

[About where Degona and ND should go for their honeymoon]
Arcel: Screw Hawaii. You know where you guys should go?
Degona: Arcel, for the last time: there's no place called "Kokomo".
Arcel: Where'd the Beach Boys shoot the video, huh?!?

Eli: [pretending to be on the phone, to Destiny] Hello? Oh yes, she's here. It's the Truth calling. Wants to know why you never tell it.

~Scrubs

I remember watching that Psych episode, and nice Doctor Who quotes. x3 You used the Lion King reference!

[Gwen falls from sky]
Degona: Gwen! You scared me!
Gwen: [speaking very quickly] Hey boss, I called the taped-I beeped you on your beeper. Did you get my beep?
Degona: Gwen, you gotta calm down.
Gwen: [continues speaking quickly] I got up early and I got the gear I was watching the girl like you told me to, the girl in the red hood.
Degona: Yeah, the girl in the red hood. Did you see where she went?
Gwen: She went past the porcupines and the red bird's tree and the guy with the long beard and now she's up the creek and she sings everywhere she goes. She's like lalalalalalalalalala...
Degona: Yeah, yeah, I'm way ahead of you. we gotta find out who she's working for. You got the camera?
Gwen: I got the 220x and a photograb with autofocus. Ooo, look at that - come with a 500 millimeter lens. You want the color or black and white?
Degona: Doesn't matter.
Gwen: I brought a flash!
[takes a picture]
Degona: Will you put that away? It's covert. No flash!
Gwen: [takes the flash off] Undercover, got it. Mmm-hm. Nobody sees, nobody knows. Click-click, heh heh! [grins]
Degona: [stares at Gwen] You ever thought about decaffeinated coffee?
Gwen: Oh, I don't drink coffee!

Dan: What the Schnitzel?

Eli: Hold up ther Cheif. We've got 4 suspects, and that means 4 stories. And if we lsiten long enough, someone will spill the beans...
Arcel: Beans?! 8D

Destiny: [about the medallion she found in Danielle's drawer] Huh? What's this?
Danielle: Oh, it says "World's Greatest Queen".
Destiny: Danielle, I can read. It says "Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators".
[Cut to still shots of Danielle winning a cage match]

Degona: I can't believe I'm saying this but... drink up
[gives Gwen the coffee]
Degona: We may want to stand back.
Gwen: [Sips coffee and his eyes buldge and he starts shaking] Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wahooo! Caffeine! Yeah baby! Whoa!
Degona: Go get 'em gril.
[Gwen takes off and bounces all over the place. Sonic boom]
Degona: What... have I done?
Danielle: Now the rest's up to us.
Dan: Can I have coffee?

Cheif Wolf: Am I gonna get to put the cuffs on someone or WHAT?
Eli: Ah, remember Wolf, pieces of the puzzle make funny shapes, but they still fit together in the end.
Cheif Wolf: Boy, you're just full o' those, aren'tcha?

Degona: [to Gwne] As God is my witness, you will learn to speak.

Degona: I'm allergic to yodeling.

Danielle: [after hearing the Danneh's plan*** to destroy the forest] Sweet tea and cookies, we've got to do something!
Degona: I know. The song was catchty, but choreography was terrible.
[The go behind a rock]
Degona: Okay, I have an idea, but we need to get past the ski team...
Danielle: The toughest one is the big fellow. Really mean looking, with a fat head.. [goes on describing him]
[he appears behind them]
[Degona and Daan looked freaked out, trying to get her attention]
Danielle:... I mean he is Uh-uh-uh- Ugly! *gasps* He's standing right behind me isn't he?

Cheif Wolf: Shouldn't you be in school?
Destiny: Shouldn't I have a lawyer?

Destiny: [about Degona] You have to admit, a demon, stopping people in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy!
Eli: We don't arrest people for being creepy.
Lynn and Arcel: O.O
Lynn: [into walkie-talkie] Yeah, Tuck, you know that guy we got in the tank?
Tucker: [over walkie-talkie] Ah, the creepy one?
Lynn: Yeah, better let him go.

Eli: So! Miss Degona... May I call you Degona?
Degona: You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.

Danneh: [to his minnions] Dolph, tie up the brat; Liesel, hold the book; Vincent, get the truck; and Keith... darn it change your name, please. That's not scary and I'm embarrassed to say it. Boris, try that. Keith, ya know, OOOO Watch out for Keith!

Eli: [preparing to question Destiny] What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists can slip right out. How about a cage?
Det. Mistro: Bring in the cage!
Eli: I was being sarcastic.
Det. Mistro: [resigned] Sarcasm. Strike the cage...

Degona: You see, Gwen, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade...
[In a dark cave filled with water]
Degona: ... and then that lemonade turns bitter, ferments and turns to pigswill. Never trust a bunny with directions!
Gwen: Got it boss! Never trust a bunny!
Degona: Well on the bright side, I think I fianlly dried off-GAH! *falls into a deep creves in the cave, to shoulders* -_-;; Why couldn't I write movie reviews!

Destiny: Mr. Eli!
Eli: I see you all got my message. Glad you could make it.
Danielle: What's going on?
Eli: Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come and work for me? I could use some fresh talent like you.
Degona: What kind of work are we talking about?
Eli: You'd be under cover, on impossible missions, to far away places. There's a lot of stories out there that need a happy ending. I'm part of a secret organization that makes sure that happens.
Destiny: "Happily Ever After Agency"?
Eli: The woods don't go 'round by themselves.
Gwen: [talking very fast] Yeah! Alright! Okay we fight the bad guys, we ride the ski boats, climb the walls, and swing the windows secret agent style. Right! Yeah!
Eli: So what do you think?
Danielle: Bring it honey!
Destiny: I always did like happy endings.

~Hoodwinked

*** Danneh's Plan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55CQkbnmWas

I clearly have a problem... x3
------

Clockwork [disguesed as a merchant]: [holds up lamp] Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man, who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? It begins on a dark night... where a dark man waits.. with a dark purpose!

Danneh: You are late.
Devon: A thousand apologies, O Patient One.

Woman: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Eli?
Eli: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.
Vlad: Gotcha!
Eli: I'm in trouble.

Queen Danielle: Destiny? Destiny? Destiny?
[suddenly a horse rears up in front of the sultan with a rag in his mouth]
Queen Danielle: Confound it, Pegasus!
[takes rag out of mouth]
Queen Danielle: So! This is why Prince Achmed stormed out?
Princess Destiny: Oh, mother. Pegasus was just playing with him. Weren't you, Pegasus? You were just playing with that over-dressed, self-absorbed Prince Achmed, weren't you?

Princess Destiny: Please, try to understand. I've never done a thing on my own. I've never had any real friends.
[Pegasus grumbles]
Princess Destiny: Except you, Pegasus. I've never even been outside the palace walls.
Queen Danielle: But, Destiny, you're a princess.
Princess Destiny: Then maybe I don't wanna be a princess anymore.
Queen Danielle: [exasperated] Ooooh! I-I-
[to Pegasus]
Queen Danielle: Allah forbid you should have any daughters!

ND: With all due respect, Your Rottenness, couldn't we just wait for a *real* storm?
Danneh: Save your breath, ND. Faster!
ND: Yes, O Mighty Evil One.

Eli: [singing] Riffraff. Street Rat. I don't buy that! If only they'd look closer... Would they see a poor boy? No sir-ee! They'd find out there's so much more to me!

Eli: Wow. The palace looks pretty amazing, huh?
Princess Destiny: [disappointed] Oh, it's wonderful.
Eli: I wonder what it'd be like to live there, and have servants and valets.
Princess Destiny: Oh, sure. People who tell you where to go and how to dress.
Eli: That's better than here. You're always scraping for food and ducking the guards.
Princess Destiny: You're not free to make your own choices.
Eli: Sometimes you feel so...
Princess Destiny You're just...
Eli, Princess Destiny: ...trapped.

Degona: [after comming out of her lamp dramaticlly] Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.

Eli: Wait-wait a minute. I'm your master?
Degona: [gives Eli a mortar cap and diploma] That's right! He can be taught!

Eli: Wish fulfillment?
Degona: Three wishes, to be exact. And ixnay on the wishing for more wishes. That's all. Three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds.
Eli: Now I know Im dreaming...

Eli: You're a prisoner?
Degona: It's all part and parcel, the whole "genie gig":
[grows to a gigantic size]
Degona: PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!
[shrinks down inside the lamp]
Degona: Itty-bitty living space!

Degona: Enough about you, Casanova. Talk about her.
Eli: Huh?
Degona: She's smart, fun. The hair, the eyes. Anything. Pick a feature.

Princess Destiny: [to Danneh] At least some good will come of my being forced to marry. When I am Queen, I will have the power to get rid of *you*.
Queen Danielle: Well, now. That's nice. All settled then. Now, Destiny, getting back to this suitor business... Destiny? Destiny!
[She notices that Destiny is running out of the room, and runs after]
Danneh: If only I had gotten that lamp.
ND: [mocking Destiny] "I will have the power to get rid of you." Grrrr. To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump, and her chump daughter, for the rest of our lives...
Danneh: No, ND. Only until she finds a chump husband. Then she'll have us banished. Or... beheaded.
Danneh, ND: Ewwww.
ND: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute! Danneh, what if *you* were the chump husband?
Danneh: What?
ND: Okay, okay. *You* marry the princess, all right? And-and, uh, you- Then *you* become the sultan!
Danneh: Ah. Marry the shrew. I become sultan. The idea has merit.
ND: Yes, merit. Yes! And then, we drop mama-in-law and the little woman off a cliff...”Yaaaah! Kersplat!"
Danneh: [laughs] I love the way your foul little mind works.

Danneh: [To Destiny] You're speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.

[Eli has nearly drowned, and his unconscious body falls and rubs on the lamp]
Degona: [appearing as a girl in a bathtub] Never fails! You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp.
[squeaks rubber duckie]
Degona: Hello?
[sees Eli]
Degona:Eli? Eli! Kid! Snap out of it! Oh, you can't cheat on this one. I can't help you unless you make a wish. You have to say, "Degona, I want you to save my life," got it? Okay!
[shakes Eli]
Degona: C'mon, Eli!
[Eli's head droops]
Degona: I'll take that as a yes.
[she changes into a submarine and pulls Eli out of the sea]

Degona: You know Eli, I'm getting really -
[turns and sees Danneh]
Degona: I don't think you're him. [looks at a script, with glasses] Tonight, the part of Eli will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man.

Queen Danielle: Danneh, you vile betrayer.
ND: That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you.

[Danneh tried to order Degona to make Destiny fall in love with her. Degona refuses, Destiny looks up and sees Eli has come to rescue her. She then gets an idea]
Princess Destiny: Danneh...
[Danneh and Degona turn to Destiny, slowly]
Princess Destiny: [seductively] I never realized how.. incredibly handsome you are...
Danneh: *shocked*
Degona: *jaw drops*

Degona: Eli, I can't help you, I work for Senor Psychopath now!

Danneh: How many times do I have to kill you, boy?

Degona: [turns into a cheerleader] Rick 'em, rack 'em, rock 'em, rake. Stick that sword into that snake!
Danneh: You stay out of thissss!
Degona: [Weakly] Danneh, Danneh, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!

Degona: [To Eli] No matter what anyone else says, you'll always be a prince to me.
Queen Danielle: That's right. You've certainly proven your worth as far as I'm concerned. It's the law that's the problem.
Princess Destiny: Mother?
Queen Danielle: Well, am I Queen, or am I Queen? From this day forth, the princess shall marry whomever she deems worthy!
Princess Destiny: Him! I choose... I choose you, Eli.
[They kiss]
----
[Imagine Eli singing "One Jump Ahead"]
[Imagine Degona singing "Never Had a Friend Like Me"]
[Imagine Eli and Destiny singing "A Whole New World"]
[Imagine Danneh singing the villian version of "Prince Ali"]
x333

~Aladdin

Wolf: Wait a sec, you're telling me you joined a celibate order....to get chicks?
Mistro: Celibate...Celibate...What does celibate mean?
Wolf: You honestly don't know?
Mistro: No. Why?
Wolf: Oh this should be interesting!

Wolf: I...am not with him...whatever he does, whatever he says...I do not support...
Mistro: Oh you're an d^@$!

Wolf: WE! ARE NOT! A CULT!!

(Wolf & Mistro are handed swords)
Clockwork: He said we are his brothers you moron. Are you as deaf as you are ugly?
Wolf: Holy S%@%! You're sword talked!
Dan: Hey! That wasn't nice Clockwork! Remember, politeness is it's own reward!
Wolf: Oh holy s&$^, so did mine!

[ND is stuck in a Cat Form]
Degona: So now who the hell am I gonna have sex with on this trip!?
Mistro: Well I wouldn't mind...
Wolf: I'd be happy to help...

Degona: *sigh* ND, I'm going to kill them ALL before this quest is over...
Clockwork: I like this chick, she's got my kind of attitude!
Dan: That's the spirit, Clockwork!
Clockwork: Shut up you idiot!

Dan: Hey! I'm not gay, I'm celibate!
Mistro: What the hell does that even mean!?
Dan: What? Celibate? It means...
Wolf: No, don't tell him, we're letting him figure it out for himself...

Degona: Wow...you're really a nerd aren't you Wolf?
Wolf: Shut up! Look, I am not a nerd. I'm a COLLECTOR!

Clockwork: [about Dan] PLEASE GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE SO I CAN KILL HIM!!!

Dan: Oh, well I am part sword, but I'm also part iPod!

Degona: *sigh*
Dan: Huh? Degona? What are you-NO WAIT! *put into sheathe*
ND: Ah....sweet silence. Music to my ears...

Degona: I said SHUT UP!!!
Mistro: Geez, what's her problem?
ND: Well it could be stress...could be fatigue....
Clockwork: ...could be that time of the month.
Degona: You say something CLOCKWORK!?
Clockwork: No...uh...just humming to myself...
Degona: I thought so...

Degona: What I wouldn't give to have another woman around to talk to...
Danrei: ND! I thought I sensed you nearby!
Dagona: Except...THAT woman...

Danrei: Oh, just call me Danrei! If we were to quote ALL my titles, we'd be here till midnight.
Degona: I doubt that, I mean, how many ways does it really take to say WHORE!?
ND: DEGONA!

Captian: Yarr! Ahoy there! So, this be the rest of the group you were mentioning Mr.Storm?
Arcel: Indeed. Everyone, this is the captain of the ship.
Captain: Aye that be me! Captain Buck F. Pirate at ye service! And this be me proud maiden of the sea...The Butt Pirate...
Mistro: D-did you just say...THE BUTT PIRATE?
Captian: *despair* Eh...Aye...

[After getting off The Butt Pirate]
Clockwork: Well THAT was a terrifying experience...
Danrei: I can't believe they managed to get Austrian drapes inside every cabin...
Degona: I never knew a group could own so many pictures of Joan Crawford...
Mistro: ...Or know THAT many Barbra Strizan songs...
ND: I think I lost part of my soul on that trip...
Dan: I dunno, I really love the musical number...
Arcel: Well, atleast you guys are tall enough not to have to walk around at crotch level...
ND: Wolf, you seem awfully quiet...
Wolf: Words cannot describe the horror of being hit on by gay ghost pirate for 2 weeks at sea...
Dan: What? They were gay?

Danrei: I am sex appeal INCARNATE!

Degona: Shut up or when we get you out of that sword I'm giving Clockwork a KNIFE and time alone with you...
Dan: I'll shut up...

Wolf: I could boil your brain with a thought thanks to these things...
Mistro: Wolf you couldn't even boil an egg, let alone someone's brain...

[After Dan finishes singing 99 Bottles of Beer]
Dan: YAYZ! See, don't you feel better?
Degona: UGH! Will he ever SHUT UP!?
Danrei: I think my brain is bleeding...

Danrei: Singing...bottles...crushing my soul...can't remember joy...dead inside...

Wolf: What about this?
ND: That's poison ivy...
Wolf: Ahhh s$%#!

Arcel: *trying to sound godly* BEHOLD! I AM THE GREAT GNOME FROM THE SKY! I COMMAND THE VERY WINDS OF THE PLANET! Bow before me and.....STUFF!!

[Degona and Danrei are in a fistfight]
Danrei: *missed* How can some someone so bulky be so agile?
Degona: Bulky!? THAT'S IT! *takes out giant axe* Say hallo to my little friend!
Danrei: Oh crap...

[Degona chasing Danrei with axe]
Danrei: Come on! We called no weapons remember!?
Degona: I LIED...

Mistro: I suppose you'll be fawning over ND too?
Danielle: *heavy Russian accent* Honestly...he's not my type...
ND: Oh come on baby don't be like that...

[ND is turned back to normal]
ND: Ah! Finally!
Degona: You. Me. In. NOW!

Wolf: Um...wow...who is this lovely lady!?
Danielle: My name is Danielle, it's a pleasure to meet you...
Wolf: Wow....she's hot and sounds like a Bond villain...I think I'm in love!!!
Mistro: Oh shut up!

[Just met Danneh for the 1st time]
Danielle: Likes to stroke his ego, doesn't he?
ND: Like a horny teenager apparently...

[villians get Dan to stop talking]
Eli.: *jamacian accent* Dat guy there be more annoying than trying to get Destiny outta the mall...
Destiny: A mall!? Where!? Ok, we SO gotta stop at the GAP!

Destiny: Um, no way! We're WALKING to Orgrimmar? Pfft, as if...
Danneh: *hands glow* Destiny. No. Arguments.
Destiny: *suddenly gives a loving stare and begins to moan* Oh....magic...
Danneh: Good, then let's go!
Super D.: Think he's realized that magic turns her on yet?
Cian: Nope...

[Arcel puts a spell on everyone transforming them into Horde]
Mistro: [jawless undead] ARCEL! WHAT THE F***!?
Wolf: [was already undead at the time] HA! Now you know how it feels A******!
ND: [man-cow] Hehe....you did that on purpose didn't you?
Arcel: [man-cow] Maaaaaaybe.... :3
Mistro: Oh HA HA HA! Very funny!
Danrei: [troll] ARCEL! This is unacceptable!
Degona: [orc] Hahahahaha!
Danrei: Oh shut up! Atleast your new form matches your personality...
Degona: I could say the same for you...
ND: Could you 2 PLEASE give it a rest for a moment?
Wolf: Hey Danielle, is something wrong?
Danielle: [Elf] This is strange...how do you walk around on these...feet...

[disguise wears off]
Degona: Looks like it's back to plan A... *jumps into air and goes into an epic transformation into Wrath Form wielding axe*
Wolf: Would an 'Over 9000' joke be appropriate here?
Mistro: Heh, I think she just went Super Saiyan!
ND: Oh shut up and let's go!

Danneh: Orgrimmar!
Cian: Orgrimmar!
Destiny: Orgrimmar!
Super D.: It's only a model...
Cian: Shhh...

Wolf: So this is the Barrens...
Mistro: Lives up to it's name...
Arcel: It's gotta be a b**** to get Wi-Fi out here...

[Lynn and Tucker are walking down the trail, both with heavy russian accents]
Lynn: You never listen! I warned you this would happen, but you never listen...
Tucker: Hey! I find road!
Lynn: You find road, that could lead anywhere. I'm telling you Tucker, "Ask nice goblin way to Exodar." But you don't listen!
Danielle: Aunt Lynn? Uncle Tucker?
Tucker: WOAH! Hello there! Do we...know you?
Danielle: Stop undressing me with your eyes, SHIP CRASHER!
Tucker: I did no crash ship!
Lynn: Tucker...
Lynn/Danielle: You crash ship!

Wolf: Wait you flew the Exodar!?
Danielle: No, he crash Exodar...

Lynn: Interesting friends, Danielle....
Danielle: They keep things from getting dull...
Tucker: I like them! It's like watching monkies with out all the poo and the throwing and such...
Lynn: Ugh, Tucker that is horrible metaphor...
ND: Actually I think it was rather apt...
Danielle/Arcel/Degona: *agree with ND*

Degona: Ok, that's it! I've had enough of this big blue b****** trying to get in my pants!
Danrei: Shall we?
[Both start to chase Tucker]
Tucker: Joke! It was a joke! Only to make wife jelous, I swear! Lynn! Assistance!

[villians get off The Butt Pirate]
Eli: Ugh...
Super D.: I'm gonna have nightmares about conga dancing for mounths...
Cian: I swear if I hear 'It's Raining Men' ever again, I will kill the closest person I can find!
Destiny: Ugh, I like don't see what you guys were so upset about, that cruise was like totally awesome!

[In desert, the heroes are stripped down to underwear (except Wolf, being undead)]
Tucker: I'll just sit back and admire scenery... *stares at Danrei and Degona*
Danrei: Think I should just mind blast him?
Degona: I don't think there'd be much of a mind to blast...
Danrei: Good point. should we just kick his a** then?
Degona: In this heat!?

Wolf: Wanna check the map so we know where we're going?
ND: Fine, hang on a sec! *switches from cat for to normal, is actually naked*
Lynn: Oh my...Now I see why ladies like him so much...
Danielle: Eh, I've seen bigger...I-i mean...

Dan: Well...why did you pick this set of magical items?
Danneh: What do you mean?
Dan: Well, aren't there magical items out there that do the same thing, but are easier to get?
Danneh: Unfortunately no, so my choices were 'The Artifacts of Domination' or some notebook that kills people when you write there name in it. But I felt that last one was a bit farfetched...

[Lynn and Tucker, on gryphons]
Tucker: Hey Lynn, I heard if we go mile high we get to join some sort of club...
Lynn: TUCKER!
Tucker: What!?

Degona: Oh god, they're talking about anime voice actors again...
Danielle: I don't know if that is so bad, I mean, what about Vic Mignogna?
Danrei: [fangirl] Oh my god, that guy is hot!

[Wolf is turned into Elf]
Danrei: Wow Wolf, if I didn't know it was you I'd be turned on!
Wolf: Okay, f*** you!
Danrei: Excuse me?
Wolf: Hey, I'm attractive now, I can get away with saying that sort of thing...
Degona: I'd have let you say it to her either way...
Danrei: Oh f*** you, demon girl!
Wolf: ...and thank you for proving my point...

Arcel: Alright, now that your happy with your new body, how about putting on some freaking pants!? Degona's starting to stare!
Degona: *defensive* I AM NOT!

Destiny: I can like totally be you guide.
Male Heroes: Wow!
Female Heroes: *Fierce jungle roar*

-Chronicles of The Annoying Quest