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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:12 pm
Kage Shinoha Orchid Moon First page of bloodline list.... around 4th post or so down Edit: My bad i meant to say the bloodline list! SOrry... yea I found it on there. I realize there is a jutsu but Ryuu can't use it. He's not a genin. your rp sample isn't restricted by rank.
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:16 pm
Orchid Moon @Ice-White-Polar-Bear: Denied, For one you copy and pasted the what you know about the Nara clan, it would be best to put into your own words. 2nd, you rp sample is lacking, there is 19 jutsus on the first stage alone and you used two which dose not give enough to show that you know the clan enough to use it fully. Maybe use 5 jutsus? be creative and spend time on your rp sample and read over the clan more. Also make sure your rp sample makes sense before you submit it. Quote: Shadow smiled and ran at him as well making a hand sign."Kage Mane no Jutsu (Shadow Imitation Technique)."Shadow and the masked man punched at the same time,as the punches both connected to each others faces Shadow shadow took possesion of the masked mans shadow. Unless the guy was right at you.. how would you punch each other? You state that he charged at you but never say how far away he was or how close he got before the jutsu connected with his shadow. Be sure you include details like that. @Sparxx Inferni: Approved, I agree with the following. Mistah BomChickaWahWah Well I think that it is definitely an improvement from his last sample. He shown two of the clans most basic jutsu where I would have personally liked to see how he used Animal Rage and Animal Transformation. I think that those are the more complex of justu for the Anigan. Also I would have liked to see him perform some of the more powered animal traits as well. The fangs was nice and all for theatrics but that could have been done by anyone. He does seem to have a better understanding of the bloodline and the new features of it, but he didn't really do all that he could have done. Overall I think that his RP skills are strong enough for the bloodline and although I didn't see everything that I would have wanted to see from his sample everything that he did include was performed correctly. I think that as he continues to RP he'll probably grow more comfortable with the bloodline but from what I've seen he seems to understand its limits. @Azure Jaguar: Denied, Your rp Sample needs better descriptions of how the different abilities work, and that the relationship between partners is exactly that, a partnership, and that you should show this better. Reposting cause of OOC
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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:16 pm
well damn I thought it was so I'm gonna make another one...(really should put that on first post)
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:17 pm
Orchid Moon @Kage Shinoha: Denied, It dose not seem you understand the bloodline fully and your rp sample is lacking. I know there is not much to work with but there is a jutsu for the bloodline that can be used in many ways. My suggestion is reading over the bloodline again and also finding MageTech's Hatake app somewhere piled away. (Or go to the master list and find a link to it there) I think he showed the bloodline pretty good so that would be good to go look at. @Fenrir Graveheart: Denied, Sadly even though you made this, I'm going to hold you to the same standards as everyone else. Could you add onto your rp sample along with putting in a few of the clan jutsus? What I would like to see is your best work and something that other can look at when trying to apply for your clan. Reposting cause of OOC
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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:30 pm
Rpc Name:Ryuu Faia (Hatake) Village:Hidden Leaf Rank:Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for:Hatake Blood line What you know about the clan/bl: they have silver hair, their chakra color is white, Kakashi Sensai is one, he destroyed the clan's weapon, their clan jutsu is Shiro Chakra Kouyou, they have a large chakra reserve Rp Sample: Ryuu was running away from three thugs that where trying to rob him. "Get back here kid." He didn't want to hurt them nor waste any smoke grenades. "Looks like I'm gonna have to out run them. easy as pie." That was one of the benefits of being one of the Hatake, he could run fast. The downside to that is that he can barely see where he's going. He slowed down so that they where almost on top of him then ran full out. If they where able to catch him now it would mean that they where ninja. The thugs saw his speed and got discouraged. "Damn and we wanted to give him back his money." Ryuu slowed down and started to laugh. "I hope they open the bag. There isn't anything in there but wooden coins." The next thing Ryuu knew is that he was surrounded by the thugs from earlier and more of them. "Hey runt we were gonna give you the money back because we thought better of it then we looked inside the bag. It's full of wood." Ryuu was smiling as he said that. "Oh you noticed I thought it was funny." He saw that they each had katanas. "So about ten weapons and five people. This shouldn't be hard." Ryuu looked at them still smiling. "Daitou no Jutsu." His entire right arm changed into a flaming longsword. It was sent off of his arm. "Shiro Chakra Kouyou." The sword changed from red to white. It started to attack them cutting the blades into three. The white flaming longsword then reattached to his body and changed back into his arm. The thugs ran away dropping the pouch with his fake money. Ryuu picked it up still smiling. "That should keep them away for a while."
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:31 pm
what is a fire weapon jutsu...I've been looking but can't find one
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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke
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Hinote Tosatsu Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:36 pm
A little tip Kage. More so than on your RP sample, you need to expand your "What I know" section a lot. There is far more to the Hatake clan than white chakra and hair.
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:05 pm
@Kage Shinoha: Denied, it seems you do not understand the Katon jutsu or the Bloodline jutsu also you have not put all the info for the bloodline. Did you read magetech's rp sample? or did you just take a glance at it before posting... you post time was less then 15 minute from me saying denied and you posting agian... hard to believe in that time you were able to reread the bloodline, read MageTech's post then thing of a good rp sample to use. It would be best if you spent time on your rp sample... try to make it the best rp sample you will ever write in your life while showing you know the bloodline.
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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:06 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:08 pm
Rpc Name:Ryuu Faia (Hatake) Village:Hidden Leaf Rank:Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for:Hatake Blood line What you know about the clan/bl: they have silver hair, their chakra color is white, Kakashi Sensai is one, he destroyed the clan's weapon, their clan jutsu is Shiro Chakra Kouyou, they have a large chakra reserve Rp Sample:Ryuu was chasing two ninja that killed one of his close friends. He had set out after them two days previous and has finally found them. They where surprisingly fast, but not fast enough. Ryuu caught up to them then jumped in front of them. "Your not going anywhere." You could see his intent was to kill them. "Yaiba no Jutsu" Ryuu's chakra was forming at the palm of his right hand as lightning. It started to move up his first and middle finger. Right in between them a blade appeared one foot long and two and a half inches wide. "You will pay for killing her." "We have no idea who you're talking about." "My friend. Now you will pay with your lives." "Yea right all you have is that lightning blade. It's weak." They ran at him taking out kunai and where about to strike him in the right arm. He dodged the attacks. "Shiro Chakra Kouyou." The lightning blade changed color into white, grew about three inches longer, and got extremely stronger. Ryuu stabbed one of them in the spine right below his skull. He feel down into the trees and onto the ground. "You'll pay for that." "I don't think I will." The other one ran at Ryuu again this time with two kunai. Ryuu dodged again but got it in the upper right arm with one of the kunai. He moved his right hand destroying the sword to grab the kunai. He ripped it out then threw it right back at him. The ninja dodged it then came at him again. Ryuu had no choice but to dodge. He started to do hand seals and said, "Kunai no Jutsu." Four kunai made of pure lightning appeared in between his fingers. "Now it is time for you to die. Shiro Chakra Kouyou." The kunai turned white and got two inches stronger and stronger. Ryuu threw two of them at the shinobi. He tired to block them but they went right threw his kunai and pierced his chest on ether side of his heart. Ryuu threw the last two right in between the first two killing him. He turned around and made his way back home. On his way he stopped and told his friends parents that he killed her killers.
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klgirebdnchajdelfianemdke
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:22 pm
Ok... You haven't even touched on the single Greatest ( In my opinion ) thing about the Hatake Bloodline. They have speed ninja benefits... You really need to re read the Bloodline. Here is a link. fifth post down
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:00 am
Rpc Name: Chihiro Geitou Village: Sand Rank: AS Bloodline or Clan applied for: Wind Sage What you know about the clan/bl: I made it, I think I know enough about it. But just to humor you it gives the user control over the wind to the extent of their rank, makes them one rank faster in the air, and allows them to use powerful wind jutsu without the use of a fan. It also makes you weak to fire, but whatever. Also it came from a clan who followed the Sage of six paths, wind being one of the paths.
Rp Sample: Chihiro soared through the sky over Kumogakure, and without the use of any wind riding jutsu or aircraft he was getting some looks. He didn't mind though, as he liked the attention. However, too much attention can be a bad thing, and suddenly a lightning blast just missed him as it was fired from the ground below. Several dozen followed it, but Chihiro weaved in and out of the blasts as he shot down to the ground.
As soon as he landed two smoke bombs landed near Chihiro's feet and the entire area was engulfed in a purplish fog. Chihiro closed his eyes and concentrated on reading the wind around him, identifying two shinobi who were quickly making their way into through the smoke. Knowing that he'd need to see, Chihiro used a surrounding breeze to push the smoke away from him, giving him some room to see. Moments later the two ninja appeared before him, wielding kunais and posed to strike. "You're under arrest, spy. Come quietly or we'll be forced to use action." Chihiro grinned and playfully brought his hands up behind his head. "Nah, that's ok." Suddenly the two cloud ninja were blasted up into the sky by a sudden wind. They soon flew up so high that they disappeared from sight. Chihiro simply whistled as he walked away from the scene.
He didn't get five meters away though before another five ninja appeared around Chihiro. He immediately stopped whistling to smile innocently at the cold and furious faces before him. "Heh heh, what's up guys? Look I know it looks bad now but trust me your friends will fall back down to earth in no time." He'd barely finished his sentence before one of the cloud ninja threw down a smoke bomb and enveloped him a wave of purple haze, effectively blinding his vision. Chihiro took a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to the wind instead of relying on his senses. "They're surrounding me." he thought to himself. "Looks like they're not to go one at a time either. No fair." Chihiro raised his arms out to his sides, and the lightning ninja behind him began weaving through handseals to make their attack. Luckily for Chihiro, he didn't need such time-wasting things, and swiftly swung his arms down to his sides. A sudden wind pushed down on the two ninja behind him, and suddenly the two ninja Chihiro had sent airborn earlier came crashing down on top of his present attackers.
Chihiro snickered at the four downed shinobi behind him, but didn't get to enjoy his small victory for long as he narrowly dodged an incoming fireball from one of the three remaining ninja. "Whoah!" Chihiro exclaimed as he quickly regained his balance. "That was too close." He gazed back at the cloud ninja in front of him, who had now become visible since his wind had blown a large portion of the smoke away. "Hey, uhhhh, can we go back to lightning? Fire kinda scares me you see and uhh" Chihiro suddenly did a split to dodge the next fireball, which was aimed directly for his head. "Heh heh....I guess not sweatdrop " Chihiro softly levitated a few inches in the air before dropping himself back down on his feet, and a fierce wind started wrapping itself around both of his arms. "Looks like I can't be so gentle anymore!" A blast of wind pushed itself from his back and Chihiro shot towards his attackers, who we again weaving handseals for a fireball. Chihiro got to them first though, and thrusting a fist into two of the shinobi he shouted, "Tornado Fist!" An explosion of wind blasted down his arm and out through his fist to send both of the shinobi spinning uncontrolably through the air for several meters before finally crashing into a few nearby trees.
Now the small boy stood right in front of the last cloud shinobi, whose knees by now were starting to shake. Chihiro grew a mischievious grin and leaned a few inches toward the man. "........boo." The man yelped in fright and ran away. Chihiro held his stomach and laughed hard until falling back on the grass, where he still laughed as he felt a gentle breeze rush over him and his fallen attackers, who all groaned in pain.
((I think I used every jutsu the clan has to offer))
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Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 8:00 am
I edited my post. I didn't know if you wanted me to repost it or just put it in my previous post with my older rp sample, so I just put it there on page 55.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 5:39 pm
Rpc Name: Yamamura Ryori Village: Iwagakure Rank: Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for: Tendrill Bloodline What you know about the clan/bl: (If you put everything it will be denied on the spot) They can steal a person`s heart to make it thiers and can steal an elemental ability too!.They can have 5 hearts in maximum,the owner's of this bloodline will not die until their all hearts are destroyed,they can detach and retach thier limbs too and can sew injuries using their threads,They have such facinating ability,The only user of this ability that showed in the episodes and mangas is Kakuzu
Rp Sample: (at least 2 paragraphs of at least 10 lines using said BL or Clan) Ryori had been sitting down rather lazy as the Rouge ninja approached him. "Something you want?"Ryori asked. The rouge took out his katana, "I want you dead." Ryori smirked, "Thats rather mean, don't you think?" The Rouge dashed at him with his Katana but before he could even swing it, Ryori shot out one tendrill and it wrapped around the handle of the sword. The sword flew out of the rouges hand. Ryori then tossed it aside. He got up from his chair and took out his buster sword. "Your bothering me, and I don't like that." The rouge did handseals and shot a giant fire ball from his mouth, Hiro had sidestepped avoided it entirely. He detached his hands from his arms and shot them at the rouge. One hand punched his in the stomach and the other began to choke him. Hiro jumped up and landed right in front of the rouge, the rouge stabbed him with a kunai in the stomach but it had no effect. Hiro let several threads creep out of his mouth and wrap around the rouge. Hiro kicked the rouge to the floor as he dug his hands into the rouge chest. Once his hand made it passed his skin and got into flesh, he grabbed a hold of his heart and pulled it out. The rouge lay there, lifeless. Hiro placed the heart on the thread that began to unwrap the dead rouge. The heart was consumed and Hiro sat down once more on his chair.
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Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2010 6:20 pm
Sorry for the wait people, Yesterday was my birthday and today I'm sick and slept all day... I'll get to your applications as soon as I can.
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